by J. H. Croix
“He really likes you,” she said, resting her hand on her hip.
“Amy, not now, okay?”
The universe was on my side because another group of customers appeared. I skipped out a little while later, leaving Amy in charge of closing up while I headed over to Misty Mountain Café. I was still debating if I was going to keep the name. It didn’t sit right to call the café Red Truck Coffee when it wasn’t in a truck.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cammi
“What are you talking about?” I asked Susie, a little exasperated with her.
“Elias was at the hospital yesterday morning. So was that woman who showed up at the brewery.”
“Her name is Sandra,” I forced out. Maybe I didn’t know her, but it felt weird to refer to her as “that woman” over and over again.
“Why are you telling me this?” I adjusted the phone between my ear and shoulder and nudged a stack of clean towels in place by the espresso machine in my coffee truck.
“I called Violet,” Susie explained.
Now I was more confused. “What? What does Violet have to do with this?”
“She knows why Elias was there. He was in the lab.”
I couldn’t help myself. “What did Violet say?”
Susie let out an aggrieved sigh. “She won’t tell me anything! She said she has to protect confidentiality. She wouldn’t even acknowledge he was there. Which is ridiculous because I was there in the waiting room at the same freaking time, and she saw us both. It’s like she wants me to pretend I didn’t see him.”
Violet Hamilton worked in the lab at the hospital and was a friend. We all knew her well, and she was awesome.
“Well, would you want her just telling people why you were there? Come to think of it, why were you there?” I asked.
“Oh, no biggie,” Susie said. “Just my annual numbers thing where they check cholesterol and all that. Elias was in and out super-fast, and Sandra was there before him only to fill out paperwork. She was gone by the time he got there if you were wondering.”
I totally was, but I wasn’t going to fess up to it. “This isn’t really helping,” I pointed out.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Susie said. “They weren’t there together. He looked kinda down and told me to tell you he wants to talk to you. Are you ignoring his texts and calls?”
“So what if I am?” I mumbled. “I’m busy, and I think that’s for the best right now. I already had one round of finding out some kind of major stuff a guy was hiding from me. Elias and I weren’t even that serious, and I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship. Maybe it’s not a big deal, but I’m freaking out, and I need to get a grip.”
I could sense Susie’s frustration through the phone line. “Sweetie, just—”
“Susie, I know you mean well, and I love you for it. But I need to not be freaking out right now. I really can’t do this. I’ve gotta go. I promise we’ll talk later.
I hung up the phone and sat down on an overturned plastic bucket with a hefty sigh. Tears were stinging my eyes, and I was tired. I was legitimately tired, but I also knew I was right. I needed some time to gather myself together, mentally and emotionally. I was going to talk to Elias when I was ready. But I couldn’t rush into it. I was basically losing my shit over this. I was already falling in love with someone else. Why, oh why, did Elias have to be the kind of guy that I fell for so freaking fast? This was way worse than with any other guy.
Of course, now I couldn’t help but wonder why Elias went to the hospital lab. My brain went right to the obvious possibility—a paternity test. Resting my elbows on my knees, I looked around my little coffee truck. Despite my emotional tumult, a weary smile curled my lips. I loved this little space. It was all mine, and I was so proud of what I’d done. I was a little anxious—okay, maybe more like losing-sleep kind of anxious—about my new business. Yet, I thought perhaps I was up to the challenge.
It was early, earlier than I usually got here. Like me, Susie was an early morning worker, so she’d known I’d be up when she called. I stood from the plastic bucket and tapped the keyboard to power up my laptop. I quickly made a few orders for supplies here and checked my email to see if the sellers had sent over their stock status yet. They were lining up supply orders for the next two months so that I could walk into this with things ready to roll. With Susie’s firm guidance, we’d made sure that was part of the contract. There was nothing from them in my email yet, but it was still early.
I wasn’t ready to open yet, but I decided an early morning cleaning was always a worthwhile activity, so I settled in to get the place spotless. I was going to need to hire someone else to help over here. No matter how things shook out in the long term as far as where I put my energy, for getting started I knew I needed to put more time over in the new business.
I heard gravel under tires and hoped whoever it was had enough sense to see I wasn’t officially open. Many locals knew my vehicle, so they might make assumptions about that.
I had emptied out one of my small storage cabinets and was re-organizing the supplies, pulling forward the older items and so on, when there was a light knock on the back door where I came in. That indicated it was likely someone who knew me.
Taking a deep breath, I wiped my hands on my apron and strode to the back of the truck to open the narrow door. Peering out, I found Elias standing there.
My heart gave a spinning kick in my chest and set off at a galloping beat. I could see tiny flecks of amber in his chocolate eyes in the gray light of dawn. His hair was a little damp. He wore a navy-blue T-shirt over a pair of faded black jeans and his usual well-worn leather boots. Gah! Why did he have to be so yummy looking? I swallowed and took a shallow breath.
“Hey,” he said simply.
“Hey,” I squeaked, my voice cracking on that single syllable.
“Can I come in?”
I opened my mouth to say “no” when there was a rustling sound outside, to the side of the truck and out of view for me. Elias stepped back quickly, leaning around the door. Following that, there was a faster shuffling sound, moving in the direction of the trees to the side of my small gravel parking area.
Elias was smiling when his stepped back. “Your little buddy is around.”
“My little buddy?”
“The porcupine. Maybe you should give him a name.”
I couldn’t help my smile, my lips tugging up in reflex. Then, of course, I recalled Elias helping me chase the porcupine out of my coffee truck that night, the very night when he first kissed me.
“I’ll have to think on a name. Come on in,” I said, gesturing him inside.
The air was cool outside, and it was getting chilly inside with the door open. Elias stepped past me, and I closed the door, just standing there for a second. My space that felt cozy and comforting was suddenly filled with his presence. He was a tall man and exuded that raw, easy masculinity.
There wasn’t too much room in here, and he leaned his hips against the narrow counter on the wall opposite the serving window.
“Would you like some coffee?” I asked as I quickly stepped to where I’d been working and finished returning the items to the small cabinet to the side of my beloved espresso machine.
“I wasn’t gonna ask, but since you offered, absolutely.”
I took a swallow of my own coffee before beginning to prep his. He was quiet for just long enough that the tension in my neck and chest started to ease.
“So, can I explain what happened the other night?”
My muscles tightened again. I took a breath and replied, “You don’t owe me any explanations, Elias.”
I tapped the button to start his double shot and turned, curling my arms around my waist as I rested my hips against the serving counter. He reached across the narrow space, his hand lightly catching my elbow. When he slid his palm down my forearm, I reflexively unwound my arms. He lightly held my hand in his, his thumb brushing back and forth along the sensitive skin on the inside o
f my wrist as he looked at me intently.
“I do.”
I started to shake my head and was mortified to feel tears stinging in my eyes again. I swallowed, the sound audible in the small space.
“Maybe we didn’t plan this, and maybe we haven’t really talked about what’s happening, but something is happening for us. I would never, never, see anyone behind your back,” he said, his voice low and intent.
I blinked away my tears and nodded. The espresso machine beeped, and he dropped my hand as I spun away. He was quiet while I got his coffee ready. After I handed it to him, I curled my hands over the edge of the counter while he took a sip.
His lips kicked up at one corner, sending butterflies wild in my belly. “Delicious. As always.”
I could hear the tick of the clock mounted above the door as his eyes searched my face before he continued, “Sandra and I haven’t been together since before I came to Alaska. That was five years ago, in case you were counting. I found out she was seeing one of my closest friends behind my back. The whole thing was a mess because I didn’t find out until after that same friend died in an accident. I’m pretty sure we’d have broken up sooner, but I was on duty and we weren’t even in the same location.”
My hand flew to my chest. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
He dipped his chin in acknowledgment and took another swallow of coffee. “It sucked and was kind of a mindfuck for me. Obviously, it was bad for my girlfriend to screw around on me, but what he did felt worse. He was as tight with me as any of my other friends. Or, I thought he was. You know Flynn, Diego, Tucker, and Gabriel, we all were together in the Air Force. Greg was one of us.”
“I’m really sorry,” I offered again. It made me want to wind back time and tell Sandra how foolish she’d been to hurt a man like Elias.
He held my eyes for a moment before continuing, “Things were hard for me after Greg died. I wasn’t in the accident with him, but I was one of the responders and got injured.” He paused, taking a gulp of his coffee and closing his eyes. When they opened again, the look there was weary. “It didn’t last long, but I got hooked on painkillers in the aftermath.” His gaze searched mine, and I sensed he was trying to assess my reaction.
My heart squeezed, and I wanted to cry. My emotions were on edge as it was, and I was tired. I managed to keep it together. “That’s awful. If you’re worried I might think something about that, don’t. The problems with painkillers are all over the news. Is it difficult for you now?”
He shook his head swiftly. “No, it’s not. I mean, I’m ashamed, but lucky for me, it was short-lived. My doctor then told me the longer it lasts, the more your body adjusts, which makes it harder to kick.”
I managed a breath, thinking that I couldn’t even imagine how hard it had been for him to learn his friend had betrayed him, and be dealing with injuries and pain. “I’m glad you’re okay,” I whispered.
“I am. I really am. If you ever need to ask more about it, you can.”
My heart was kicking in my chest. He was talking as if there was a future for us, like I might want to ask him about this. My emotions felt all jumbled, so I just nodded.
“So back to the other night. Obviously, I didn’t expect to see my ex. She’s here because she got pregnant before my friend died. I know it’s not my son because the math doesn’t add up. She was pretty direct about that. Anyway, Greg knew about it, and their son’s entitled to his survivor’s benefits. Apparently, his family is disputing it. They’re claiming I’m the father, so I agreed to do a paternity test to show that’s not the case.”
I really, really wanted to believe Elias. It wasn’t that I thought he was lying. I didn’t. I was just tired of myself and my stupid issues with trust. I didn’t want to be caught up in this tangled mess that wasn’t even mine.
“Okay,” I said slowly before reaching for my coffee and taking a big gulp. “You really didn’t have to tell me all this.”
Elias searched my eyes, and I wanted to look away. I didn’t.
“Cammi, I get after what happened to you and your last relationship it could’ve looked like I was hiding something. That’s why I’m telling you this. I wasn’t. I didn’t even know Sandra was pregnant when Greg died.”
I cleared my throat, wishing it didn’t feel so tight with emotion. “I appreciate that, but it’s not like you’ve made any promises. I don’t even know if we’re in a relationship. And, I’m not holding you responsible for that not being clear,” I added hurriedly.
“Are we okay?” he pressed.
“Sure. Sorry about what you went through.”
I knew my responses were curt and not really helpful, but I didn’t know how to handle this, much less what to say.
He lifted a shoulder in a light shrug. “We all go through hard things. It’s part of life, I suppose.”
I nodded, because that was obviously true. After another few beats of quiet, he said, “So, maybe things have been vague, but this isn’t just a fling for me.”
I stared at him, hope beating out a little tap dance inside of my heart. “Um, ok-aaay, but it’s not like we expected this. I mean, you did kind of try to steer clear of me for years. That’s what you said,” I mumbled uncertainly.
I felt as if I were stumbling and tripping inside, not sure how to navigate this conversation at all.
Elias reached for my hand again. His grip was warm, and I wanted to burst into tears and fall into his arms. But, I absolutely didn’t want to be that foolish.
“Yeah, so maybe I did try to steer clear. Now that I told you how my last relationship went, maybe you can understand I was a little gun shy and a lot bitter. Maybe I didn’t let myself think about it, but I knew there was a chance I would fall hard for you. It’s turned out to be more than a chance.”
My heart was knocking hard in my chest, and I really didn’t know how to handle any of this. “I do understand but I’m a little confused right now.” I paused, swallowing, trying to push through the logjam of emotion in my throat. It ached. “I’m not sure what the best thing is for me. This whole thing with your ex freaked me out more than I expected, and I need to figure some things out for myself,” I explained haltingly. “And, I’m really busy. I’m closing early on the loan for Misty Mountain.”
Ugh. This was awful. I didn’t know what to think or do, and here I was talking about being freaking busy.
Elias’s eyes searched mine, and it felt like he was trying to climb inside my heart. I wanted to close the shutters on all the windows of my battered heart and hide.
“You’re busy?” His eyes were warm and understanding, and it only made me feel worse than I already did.
“Yeah.” My voice came out in a cracked whisper.
“Okay, sweetheart.” His thumb brushed along my wrist before he released my hand. “I’ll wait until you’re ready.”
Just then, the sound of tires on gravel reached us, and I glanced at the clock. My official opening time was only one minute away. He pushed away from the counter and dipped his head to brush a kiss across my lips. The brief point of contact sent electricity sizzling through me.
“I’ll be in touch. You can call me whenever you need me.”
With that, Elias left and I sat down on that plastic bucket again and gave myself one minute to cry. I opened five minutes late because one minute wasn’t enough.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Elias
“Thank you,” Sandra said through the phone line.
“It was really no problem,” I replied, pausing to stuff my jacket in my backpack as I got ready to leave the plane hangar for the evening.
“I know you aren’t the father, and I’ll call as soon as we have the official results.”
“I hope this helps resolve the problems with Greg’s family.”
“It should.” There was a pause, and Sandra cleared her throat. “I know it’s been a while, and I can’t change the past, but I want you to know I’m sorry again.”
“Apology accept
ed,” I replied, meaning it. I had let go of what happened with Sandra, and perhaps I would always be a little bitter about my old friend’s involvement, but we all do stupid shit.
“Now, I hope you won’t let that hold you back from finding the right girl. Are you serious about that woman I saw you with?” she asked.
I thought about Cammi—her blue eyes, the way she somehow carried the subtle scent of flowers, her toughness underneath her sweetness, and the way it felt to hold her in my arms. “Yeah, I am.”
“Well then, I know you’re a good man, so take good care of her.”
With that, we ended the call, and I headed over to yoga class. When I drove by Misty Mountain Café and saw Cammi’s SUV, I resisted the urge to turn in and see how things were going. It had only been a few days, and I knew she needed space, so fucking dammit, I was going to give it to her.
The other afternoon, I’d gone to get another massage, consciously hoping that maybe, just maybe, Cammi would be there again. She wasn’t. The man who gave me the massage did a great job, but he was no Cammi. I was on my way to yoga now because Flynn asked us to go again. I didn’t mind, but it was fucking hysterical that Daphne had persuaded him to keep going to yoga classes.
Once again, I couldn’t help but be hopeful that perhaps Cammi would be there. No such luck. The yoga class was good, and I got to enjoy the sideshow of Diego struggling not to ogle the yoga teacher.
“Dude,” I whispered where I stood beside him. “She said to look forward.”
“Fuck you,” he muttered under his breath.
“I don’t think that’s very fitting right now,” I countered.
“Everything okay over here?” Gemma asked when she paused beside Diego.
