by Anna Brooks
“I don’t want you to get in trouble with them because—” Then it hits me. “Did you miss wrestling practice?”
“Yeah.”
“Declan, you have a meet this weekend. Coach might not let you compete. You shouldn’t have missed practice because of me. And now, your parents are going to be mad at you.”
He sits up, propping his head on one hand. “I’m not sorry, and I won’t apologize to him. You’re more important than wrestling is. I don’t care who I have to piss off if it’s to make you happy. I love you, Amie.”
I gasp at his admission and try to respond but am unable to speak.
“Don’t act so surprised.” He chuckles.
“You love me?”
He takes my hand and holds it to his chest. “Yeah, honey. I always will.”
* * *
Eighteen years old.
“Amie, can you pass me the purple one?”
“Sure.” I hand the crayon to Meara, Declan’s little sister, and reach for a pink one so I can finish my picture.
“Are you sad that Declan is leaving?”
“Yeah, honey. I am. But it’s not for long, and he’s doing it because it’s something he’s passionate about.”
“What’s that mean?” She sticks her tongue out while she concentrates on staying between the lines of the princess. Not surprising since everything with Meara revolves around fairy tales.
“It means that it’s something he really, really wants to do.”
“I want to do lots of stuff too, but I wouldn’t leave.”
I try to think of how I can explain it to a nine-year-old and make her understand, but I don’t know if she’d ever get it. I have a hard time realizing he’s leaving myself. But the good news is it’s only for a little while, and then I’ll move to wherever he goes. I want nothing more in this world than to be with him.
“What’s something you want? Something you hope for every single day?”
“Hmm.” She stops coloring and taps her finger on her chin. “I want to get married to a prince in my castle.” She’s referring to the treehouse in her backyard, and I smile at her innocence.
“Okay. What if your castle was somewhere else?”
“Like where? Neverland?”’
She makes me laugh so much. “Yeah.”
“Yes. I’d leave to go to Neverland.”
“Well, just think of it as Declan is going to his Neverland. He’ll be back, though, Meara. I promise you he’ll come back all the time and visit you. You’re his favorite person.”
“No, I’m not. You are.”
“He likes you more than he likes me, little girl. Trust me.”
“Nope. He told me that he loves me and that I’m his favorite sister. But you’re his favorite person in the world. He said he’s going to marry you, and you’re going to be my sister one day. And he said if I’m responsible, he’ll let me watch your babies.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes, a combination of my laughter and how damn sweet he is.
“Just make sure you come over and color with me when he’s gone. I’ll miss him, and I don’t want to miss you, too.”
“Okay, Meara. I’ll come over and color. I promise.”
* * *
Declan and I squeeze together on the couch in his living room. His heavy arm wraps around my stomach, and his long legs entwine with mine. His lips trail kisses along my neck, right below my ear, down, and then back up again. I giggle when he nips at the sensitive skin and I roll over to my back.
“Stop.” I laugh, pushing his head away.
“You’re cute when you laugh.”
He lifts himself up, puts a knee on either side of me, and lowers his head until his lips hover over mine. “Love you, Mimi.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’m gonna miss you.” He kisses my nose. “Don’t know what I’m going to do without you.” Then my cheek. “Gonna be torture being without my girl for eight weeks.” And finally my lips. He runs his hands down my arms and brings them around to grab my boobs. “Or without her fun bags.”
I smile against his lips just as he slides his tongue into my mouth. The second he closes his mouth fully over mine, my core begins to warm, and my thighs quiver. He runs his thumb along a hardened nipple, and I tighten my legs around him, pulling him closer. I can never get him close enough.
His lips leave mine and slide down to my collarbone, where he licks and sucks his way across from one shoulder to the other. When he reaches the left side, he pulls my shirt and bra down to expose both of my breasts. One hand continues to tweak a nipple while he uses his tongue to suck on the other. I grind my lower body against his and moan when I feel the hardness between his legs.
A popping sound echoes in the room when he releases his mouth, and instantly, the cool air causes a shiver to run down my spine. He presses my breasts together and leans down to lick both of them at the same time. “You gonna let me fuck these later, Mimi?”
He circles his hips, and I gasp. “Yeah, Dec. You can do whatever you want.” And I mean that. I’d let him do whatever made him happy because I know he’d make it good for me too. He always does. He has a special inclination toward my boobs, and I love it when he fucks them. It turns me on getting to stick out my tongue and lick the tip of him, tasting what I do to him. Being able to look up and see the sweat dripping from his brow as his six-pack flexes with every thrust.
“Later.” He sits up and pulls me with him, so I’m straddling him. “Grind down on my dick, honey. Let me feel how hot you can get.”
My jaw falls open, and I comply, circling my hips as he continues kissing, sucking, and nipping at my breasts. He kneads them and squeezes and then growls when I bring my hand to meet his and tweak my nipples along with him. I bring my lips to his, and the second his tongue meets mine, I have to pull away and scream into his neck to muffle the sound.
I catch my breath but don’t lift my head. “Dammit, we’re in the freaking middle of your house. Why would you do that to me?” I nip at his neck.
He chuckles and thrusts against me. “I’m not sorry.”
“Declan, have you seen my new doll?” Meara comes barreling down the stairs, and he curses as I hop off him and straighten my clothes just as she comes around the corner.
“I can’t find it anywhere, and Uncle Sean’s picking me up in ten minutes!” She stomps her feet, and Dec squeezes my knee before he takes a deep breath and stands up, subtly adjusting himself.
“Let me help you search, baby girl. We’ll find it.” He looks over at me. “Be right back, honey.”
I love watching him with his little sister. He lets her put makeup on him, he dresses up for her, and he even takes her to the nail shop and sits while she gets her nails done. He’s such a good brother, and he takes such good care of me. I know he’s going to make the best husband and father one day. And I’m so freaking lucky that he loves me enough to want a future with me.
I take a breath and lean down to grab my shoes when I see her doll under the couch. Without putting my tennies on, I walk around the corner and find the two of them in the kitchen. She has her entire body wrapped around him, and one of his arms is supporting her weight while he uses the other hand to run his fingers through her hair.
My heart breaks and I back away to let the two of them have their moment. They have a special bond, and it breaks my heart to see them both so sad.
“Why do you have to leave?” Her voice cracks when she talks, and I pause, waiting to hear his answer.
“I told you, Meara. I want to save people.”
“Can’t you do that here?”
He chuckles and kisses the top of her head. “No, baby girl, I can’t. Not with what I want to do.”
“I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.” His voice hitches, and I blink back tears. I’m going to miss him too—so damn much—and it makes me weak to even think about it.
After a minute, I clear my throat and hold the doll out in front of me.
“Found it, Meara.”
She practically falls out of Declan’s arms then jumps up and down, clapping. “Thanks, Amie! You’re the best!” She grabs the doll out of my hand, clutches it to her chest, and runs down the hall.
Dec has his forearm pressed against the sliding glass door with his head hung and shoulders slumped. I walk up to him, and he wraps his other arm around me and pulls me close. “It’ll be okay, Dec.”
He gives a quick nod and kisses my cheek. “As long as I have you, it will be.”
Declan is leaving tonight to join the Coast Guard. I remember vividly the day he decided he wanted to do that. We were lying on the couch a year and a half ago, and he was flipping through the channels. When he saw a guy jumping out of a helicopter to save someone, he sat up, face completely in awe, and pointed at the screen. “I wanna do that, Mimi.” We watched the rest of the show, and he turned to me. “I’m going to do that. I want to do that.”
Since then, he’s made it his life goal to save people. To risk his own life jumping out of helicopters into the ocean in frigid temperatures, high winds, and rough seas.
And it’s finally happening. He leaves to check into the hotel, and then first thing in the morning, he’ll get on a bus and head to the airport for boot camp. It’s only eight weeks at first, but then as soon as he finds out where he’s going, I’m moving with him. It’s going to suck so bad to be away from him, but I know he needs to do this. I’m so proud of him for following through with his dream, and I can’t wait to start our life together.
People say we’re too young, but I know. I know I want to be with him and marry him and have babies with him. It doesn’t matter that we’re eighteen. Age is just a number, and it doesn’t make a difference when you’re in love. Nothing could ever change that.
Chapter 2
Declan
THE PAST SIX WEEKS have been brutal, and I finally get to make a phone call today. Boot camp is tough—no doubt about it—but reading Amie’s letters is what got me through it. And knowing she’ll be waiting when I get out of here. We’ve written back and forth and talked about so much. The past, where we are now, the future… our future.
I tell her that I used to go get a drink at the water fountain at the Y just so I could see her. I tell her that before I asked her out for the first time, I went into the locker room and had to splash water on my face because I was so nervous. I tell her that when I gave her the promise ring I’d bought for her before I left, I had to bite back tears when she started crying.
And when she answers the phone, I have to do it again. “Hey, honey.”
“Hi, Declan.”
“God, I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“How are you?” It almost feels weird talking to her, and I hate that. I don’t want it to ever be weird.
She hesitates before answering. “Fine.”
Even from hundreds of miles away I can tell she’s lying. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Mimi, don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not,” she answers quickly. “I just have a migraine starting, that’s all.”
“Damn, sorry, honey. I wish I could be there to help you.”
“It’s okay. How are you?”
“Ehh, can’t wait to get out of here. I miss you.”
“Did you call your family yet?” Her abrupt question throws me for a loop.
“No. You were the first person I called.”
“You should probably call them.”
“Amie…”
“My head is just hurting really bad. I need to lie down.”
I want to question her more, but I know that if it’s a bad one, they can come on fast, and anything and everything makes it worse. I don’t want her to be in pain because of me. “Okay. I’ll call you again when I can, all right?”
“Yeah. Bye, Dec.”
“Love you, Mimi.”
“I love you, too,” she whispers, and then she hangs up.
* * *
I stand in formation, listening to the speeches and going through the motions. My eyes face forward, but out of my peripheral vision, I scan the crowd. She’s nowhere to be found. Where the fuck is she?
Since I last talked to her two weeks ago, I haven’t been able to get hold of her. She never answers, and when I ask my parents if they’ve talked to her, they tell me no. Something isn’t right. Something is very wrong.
For the rest of the graduation ceremony, I grind my molars and try to focus on the fact that my girl didn’t show up for my fucking graduation. As soon as it’s over, I hightail it over to my parents.
“Congrat—”
“Where is she?” I interrupt my mom and lean down to scoop up my sister. “Hey, baby girl,” I mutter as I kiss Meara’s forehead and prop her on my hip.
“She said she wasn’t feeling well, son. You’ll see her as soon as you get home.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“Declan, do you think you could say hello to your mother?” My dad’s stern voice temporarily snaps me out of my irritation, and I apologize to her.
My younger brother, Pierce, slaps me on the back, and I hand Meara over to him and hug my mom. “Hey, Mom.”
Her tear-filled eyes make me feel like an ass, and I throw my arm over her shoulder and steer us out of this hellhole. I continue going through the motions and pretending not to be completely tore up. For almost two years, Amie and I have been inseparable, so to go two months without seeing her and to have her not show up… I can’t decide if I’m pissed off or worried shitless.
My family and I go out to dinner at a local seafood joint, and after I get my stuff, we head to the airport and arrive back at Milwaukee’s Mitchell International Airport around eight at night. I fell asleep on the plane but am wide-awake now. As soon as we get back to the house, I grab my keys and hop in my truck, then speed off to Amie’s house.
I don’t even pull the keys out of the ignition but run to her door and start pounding on it. Her dad’s car isn’t here, but her mom answers and offers a weak smile. “I was just headed out to book club, but she doesn’t feel well, Declan.”
“I need to see her.” I push the door open and jog up the stairs to her room. She’s curled in a ball with her back facing me. The bed creaks when I sit on it, and her shivering body flinches when I put a hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong, honey?”
She rocks her head back and forth. “I’m sick, Dec. You should go home.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Mimi.” I curl up behind her and pull her against me. God, I missed this. Her warm, soft body against mine; her sweet smell drowning me. “I’m not leaving you.”
Her body stiffens, and she pulls away from me and jumps off the bed. I stand too, so I can look at her. When I finally see her face, I suck in a breath. She’s beautiful. God, so beautiful, but she looks like shit right now. Sunken eyes, pale skin. “Honey, what the fuck?”
“I want you to leave, Dec.”
“Mimi, I ain’t fuckin’ leavin’.”
“I don’t want to be with you anymore, Declan.”
My heart literally cracks in my chest. My knees buckle and I fall into the wall. “What?” The word doesn’t even form, but it comes out in more of a breath.
“I said I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Her voice is strong, so it makes me think I should believe her, but the sheer agony in her eyes tells me something different.
“Why?” It’s the only thing I can think to say, to ask. It doesn’t make sense; she loves me. “You don’t love me?”
I watch her swallow and square her shoulders. She takes a deep breath and looks directly in my eyes. “No. Not anymore.”
“I just talked to you, and you said—”
“I lied.”
“What the fuck, honey?” I step toward her, but she holds her hands out to ward me off.
“I thought I could do it, but I can’t, Dec. You need to do it without me.”
“Do what?”
“We can do long distance and wait until you’re ready. Amie, this isn’t you. What’s really going on?” I’m trying to keep a level head. I’m trying not to lose my shit. This isn’t her. She’s lying… I just need to figure out what really happened. I can’t leave her. She’s it for me. She’s my everything.
“No. That won’t work.” She shakes her head and turns around to look out her window.
I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her. She momentarily stiffens and then relaxes into me. I lower my head right by her ear. “I’m not fucking letting you go, Amie.”
“You have to because I don’t want you anymore.” Her words are like venom soaking into my veins, and I feel as if my body is being poisoned. It burns so fucking bad.
“You don’t mean that.”
She twists and gives my chest a little shove. “I do. Get out, Declan. I don’t want you anymore.”
“Like fuck you don’t.” I grab her by the back of the neck and slam my mouth to hers. I devour her, aggressively fucking her mouth with my tongue and ripping her clothes off along the way. I pull back and look into her eyes, panting. She looks away with tears brimming her eyes to avoid what I know she feels. What she’s always felt about me. What I’ve always felt about her. We’re supposed to fuckin’ be together.
I get on my knees in front of her and hitch one of her legs over my shoulder at the same time as I shove my tongue into her pussy. Her wet, tight, perfect pussy. She grips my head and moans, grinding down on my face. In less than a minute, her sweet cream floods my senses, and I stand and gently push her down on the bed.
I undo my pants enough to get my dick out and push into her in one thrust. “Fuck, honey.” Her eyes are closed, and her knuckles are white from squeezing the comforter above her head. I can’t help but suck on her perfect breasts. She has amazing tits. They’re so fucking perfect. Big and full and heavy. Delicious. “Look at me, Mimi.”
Her eyes whip to mine, and when I reach between us and press down on her clit, she screams my name and squeezes my cock even harder with her already tight walls. I’m about to fill her up with my seed when she pushes me back.
