by A'zayler
Sheena was perplexed because he acted as if she was the only one who had some explaining to do. Everything they’d done had been initiated by him; he was the one who needed to speak up first.
“Killian.”
“Look, before you start all that whining shit, don’t. Talk like a grown ass woman because I don’t have no sympathy for you.”
Sheena fixed her voice. “First of all, I don’t need any sympathy, I need clarification.”
“On?”
Sheena sat on the sofa opposite him and tucked her foot beneath her butt. “Vegas, the sex, the things you said.”
Killian looked away and lay back on the sofa. His posture was no longer as calm as it had been when he’d first come in. He’d been cocky at first, but that obviously went out of the window when she reminded him of their night. Killian may have been trying to act all nonchalant now, but he had been a completely different way during the night they’d shared.
Not only had he been passionate in his pursuit, but he’d been blatantly honest about his feelings for her, and even if he was prepared to bury it, she wasn’t.
“Listen, Asheena, I was drunk. Forget the stuff I said.”
Sheena played with the long, blonde hair, which hung over her shoulder. “I don’t want to.”
Killian’s face frowned. “I don’t give a fuck. You need to.”
“Why?” Sheena bellowed out. “Why do I have to forget what you said? I didn’t ask you to say those things to me. I didn’t ask you to tell me any of that stuff. You did it all.” Sheena wiped the water that was rising in her eyes. “You can’t just perpetuate feelings in a person and act like they don’t matter.”
“They don’t.” Killian shrugged. “We did what we did, but that was it. It didn’t mean anything.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious. I don’t love you. I love East.”
Sheena felt like all the wind in her chest had been kicked out.
“You don’t even know her.”
“I know enough.” Killian stood to his feet and stared at her with a blank expression.
She hurried to stand in front of him so she could stop him from leaving if he tried.
The pain in her chest was searing enough to knock the World Trade Center down. It was just that strong. Since their breakup in college, Killian had been pretty cold to her, but she knew he held a soft spot for her. However, everything about him right then was completely different. The coldness was magnified by ten, and it was obvious. Even his posture was uninviting.
“Is this about the past?”
The muscle in Killian’s jaw leaped when he turned his head to the side and looked at the wall. With his hands in his pockets, and his face hard, he turned back to face her and nodded.
“Yeah, it is. I learned my lesson with you a long time ago. You’ll never get me like that again, and I mean that.”
“But you said you loved me.” Sheena grabbed his arms.
“I was drunk.”
“Really, Killian? I don’t even believe that.” Sheena shook her head. “When we made love in Vegas, it was real.”
“Nah, it wasn’t. I was cheating on my girl with you because I was scared.” He stared at her. “Scared to face the fact that I was in love again, all because of you.” He pointed his finger in her face. “You ruined love for me, but you know what?”
Sheena’s heart rate sped up. “What?”
“Fuck you and fuck us.” Killian leaned closer to her face. “I’ma love East, and I’ma love her good too, so stay the fuck away from me.”
The buildup of tears in her throat was unbearable, but she managed to save face while he stood there. Sure, she’d gotten her hopes up, but she’d live past it. She always did. Maybe this was karma’s way of coming back to get her. She’d hurt a lot of niggas in the past, so surely it was time for it to come back home to her.
Killian opened his mouth to respond but was stopped by his ringing phone. Sheena watched him check the caller ID before standing to his feet and walking toward the door. She could only imagine who it was since he felt the need to leave for privacy. Sheena sucked her teeth when East’s face popped into her mind.
“Wait? What the hell you talking about?” Killian asked while opening her front door and looking out.
When he walked completely out, Sheena had to follow. The moment she looked outside and spotted Jaylen’s car, her heart shook, but seeing East out of it and standing next to Killian’s car, it completely stopped. She was still holding her phone up to her ear, but her eyes were trained on Sheena’s front porch.
“Y’all want to keep muthafucking playing with me? Huh? Y’all think I’m something to fucking play with, Killian?” East yelled before kicking the side of Killian’s car with the bottom of her shoe. “Bring your muthafucking ass out here before I bust the windows out of this shit.”
Sheena’s hands went to her mouth as she watched East yell at Killian. She was still on the driver’s side of his car, but now her phone was hanging down by her side.
“I knew when you passed me that this was your fucking car!” East began to approach them. “Then, you have the nerve to be coming to see this hoe?” She bucked her eyes before looking over her shoulder at Jaylen. “You see this shit, Jaylen? I told your ass it was him creeping to see this bitch, but it’s cool. I’m beating both of y’all asses today.”
Sheena could hardly breathe as East walked up on her. Why was she not going for Killian?
“Oh, hell nah.” Sheena took off for her front door.
Luckily, she made it inside before East was able to get to her. Sheena hurried to lock her door before going to her window and looking out. Loud banging came from East as she hit the door and twisted the knob trying to get in. When she finally realized it wasn’t happening, she retreated, and Sheena found her oxygen again.
In complete fear, she had been holding her breath and doing her best to steer clear of East’s rampage. That was Killian’s mess; he would have to handle that for both of them because Sheena wanted no parts of it.
“Scary ass hoe!” East yelled.
Sheena could see her now walking toward Killian aggressively.
“You see what kind of scary hoe you messing with? She gon’ leave you out here to get your ass beat by yourself. Dumb ass troll. I’m still beating her ass when I see her. Matter of fact, I’m beating her ass every muthafucking time I see her.” East swung at Killian, and Sheena found herself jumping back.
Killian was visibly disturbed by East’s presence, but Sheena was sure it wasn’t for the same reason as she was. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Killian wasn’t afraid of her, but her being there still meant trouble for him.
“Baby, come here.”
“Killian, shut the fuck up. I’m baby today, but the other day before I caught you with your hoe, I was crazy ass girl, and get away from you and all that other dumb nigga shit.” East tried to swing again, but Killian caught that hand too.
“It really ain’t what you thinking. I only came over here to—”
“To what, Killian? Humor me, please?”
“Just let me explain. She said she needed to talk to me about Vegas, so I pulled up to see what she wanted.”
“You black fucking bastard. I been damn near begging your ass to talk to me about Vegas, and you been shooting me down nonstop, but as soon as little miss goody two shoes asks, you come running like her fucking dog.” East shook her head. “I don’t know what it is about this damn girl that’s got you so stupid and blind, but you can have her ass. Nigga, fuck you and stay away from me.” East tried to snatch away from him, but he wouldn’t let her.
“Let me go!” she yelled like a mad woman.
That one motion made Sheena glad that she’d made it into the house before East got to her. There was no telling how bad East would be doing her right then.
“No!” Killian snatched her body to his and got into her face. “Didn’t you say you was realer than me? Then stay!”
/> “Staying ain’t real right now, it’s just fucking dumb. Now, let me go!” she yelled again.
Seconds later, Jaylen walked onto the porch, obviously trying to smooth things out between the two, but Killian shook his head in her direction. That broke what was left of Sheena’s heart. The way he kept spinning East out of Jaylen’s grasp, refusing to let her pull the two apart showed a love for her that he didn’t have for Sheena.
When he began speaking lowly to East, Sheena wanted to open the door and scream at him, but she wasn’t that crazy. East may have been letting Killian hold her right then, but there was no telling what kind of strength she’d find to break free if given the right reason.
“Killian, please let her go so we can leave before Sheena calls the police or something.”
“Fuck her!” Killian bellowed.
“She can call the police if she wants to, and I’m dog walking her ass.”
Killian and East both shot explicit verbiage in the direction of Sheena’s front door. East’s didn’t bother her as much as Killian’s had. If she hadn’t known before, she knew now. Her time with him was up. No more of the fake hate game they’d been playing for years only to make up in private. No hope of rekindling anything new; this was it. They were done. He’d fallen for someone else, and one thing Sheena knew personally was when Killian loved, he loved. There was no breaking that.
“Fuck his ugly ass,” Sheena spat out loud to make herself feel better. “He doesn’t deserve me anyway.”
It didn’t matter how perfect his words were or how good his sex was, the fact still remained that he wasn’t on her level. He may have been successful and all the other things that came with it, but at the end of the day, if she was going to be hurt and crying, it most definitely was going to be over a man who at least looked like he was worth her tears.
“Who am I fooling?” She ran her hands through her hair and headed for her bedroom.
She’d lost a good one. Maybe, she’d let East have him. Maybe she wouldn’t. Only time would tell.
8. Sometimes I’m in My Feelings
“Every bitch I thought I loved took my heart and went crazy.” Killian sang along with Kevin Gates’ “No Trust” before taking another pull from the long blunt he’d just rolled. “Dumb hoes,” he mumbled again before turning the music up a little more.
The night sky was as dark as his heart felt, and the neatly rolled weed had him on the first flight into the stars. It had been an extremely long day and clearly about to be an even longer night. It was the anniversary of his gym’s grand opening, and they’d planned a massive indoor pool party for himself and all his employees in the aquatics part of his gym. Being that he was a private person, the invite hadn’t been extended to the public, and for that he was grateful.
When Logan had mentioned bits and pieces of the planning to him months ago, he’d been all for it. On top of celebrating his success, he’d planned to use the party as an opportunity to scope out women. None he planned to try his hand at, just a good pass time. Unfortunately, that was the last thing he felt like doing right then.
Still a bit disturbed by East and all her bullshit, his mind hadn’t been where it needed to be in a few days. Even with putting forth as much effort as he could into pushing her out of his mind, he couldn’t. On top of her being his wife, she was his happiness. Upon meeting her, he hadn’t known it would be like that, but it was now, and he couldn’t shake her for nothing. When she’d said fuck him at Sheena’s house the other day, she’d meant that because she’d been ignoring every call and dodging every visit.
“Why are you out here by yourself?” Logan’s voice came from behind him. “With shades on like there’s some sun out.”
Killian’s head turned slowly due to the amount of weed he’d ingested. High as a kite, Killian allowed his eyes to trek from Logan’s face down her body. She was a muthafucking headache but in a good way. Pretty ass face and banging ass body. There was no way in the world she’d do anything but play with a nigga’s head, fine as she was. Killian licked his lips and turned his head away from her before he embarrassed himself.
“And I know that’s not marijuana you’re smoking.” Logan took the seat in front of him.
After looking down at the half smoked blunt, Killian chuckled and nodded.
“You know better than that. That’s not good for your body.” Logan snatched the blunt from him. “Give me that.”
Logan busied herself putting the blunt out before tossing it in the grass behind them. “There’s a whole party going on in your honor, and you’re out here by yourself. Why? What’s going on?”
The sincere tone of her voice and the serious look in her eyes made Killian feel good. He wasn’t used to women caring about him. Nobody outside of his mother. Every other one had lied and cheated. Logan would probably cheat too if she belonged to him. They all did. They were too pretty not to.
“Kill, talk to me.”
“I’m just stressed.” He ran one of his hands over his face before giving her his attention. “I’ll be straight, though.”
“What’s stressing you? I know it’s not the gym because I would have known that already.” She smiled beautifully.
Logan’s sandy colored hair and baby face glowed in the darkness.
“Is it a woman?”
Against his better judgment, Killian nodded.
“East?”
Killian looked at her with a frown on her face. How did she know about East? He’d never brought her to the gym, and the one time that she did come, she’d been with him and Gabrion. Nothing about her stood out from the rest of his clients.
“How you know her?”
Logan’s smile got bigger before she winked at him. “She came by looking for you the one day not too long ago. I could tell by the nervous look on her face that she was there on a social call.” Logan sat back in her chair and crossed one of her thick legs over the other one.
Killian’s eyes dropped to her thighs but looked away immediately. Logan was young and innocent. There was no way he’d corrupt her with his bullshit. When he looked back at her, she was still smiling.
“Your smiling ass. That’s all you do.”
Her giggles came shortly after. “I’m a happy person. It’s hard not to smile when you’re happy.”
“I feel that. I don’t know nothing about that shit, though.”
“You could if you would get East. She’s gorgeous, and I love her body.”
Killian smirked. “Her body?”
More happy laughter. “Yes. When I told her that you wouldn’t be in for a few hours, she used some of the machines to lift weights, and I momentarily felt like a lesbian.” Logan snickered uncontrollably, covering her face as well. “I literally watched her the entire time she worked out. I loved her form and the way her clothes fit her. She’s so small and perfect. And the way she handled the weights, oh my gosh, Kill. She’s a freaking beast. You ever worked out with her?”
Every word that left Logan’s mouth made him smile. Nothing she’d said about East was a lie. East was striking as hell and a major distraction in the gym. He’d had the privilege of watching her only once and for a few moments, but his dick had been hard the entire time. Had he not been leaning over the bar of his second level, there was no way he could have hidden it.
“I’ve watched her workout, never together, though.”
“Well, you should. I believe it would be good foreplay for you two.”
They both laughed at Logan’s remark for a few minutes before calming themselves back down.
“For real. I can look at both of you and tell the sex would be amazing.”
Killian’s attention was piqued, but he didn’t say anything. He waited for her to expound instead.
“You both have the best bodies, both attractive, and don’t kill me for this Killian, but I’ve noticed your umm…” Logan’s eyes darted to his pants before she blushed and looked away. “Let’s just say your compression shorts don’t hide much.” Logan’s ha
nds covered her face as soon as the words left her mouth.
Killian laughed coolly as he leaned forward and pulled her hands from her face. “You good, ma. Stop that shit.” He pulled her hands again, and she allowed her hands to fall.
“Li’l young ass ain’t got no business looking at my dick no way.”
“I wasn’t, I promise. I just happened to see it when you were lifting weights.” Logan shook her head, clearly embarrassed. “All I’m trying to say is that you and East’s sex would be magical.”
“Fuck would be, it is.”
Logan’s smile matched Killian’s.
“Well, make more love then. Don’t sit out here moping. Go inside and entertain. Once everyone leaves, go make magic with your girl.”
“That’s the best advice you could give?”
Logan nodded with a smile.
Killian held his fist out, and she pressed hers against it. “I appreciate it. It’s what I needed.”
Logan stood to her feet and fixed the sheer skirt she had circling her bikini bottom. This time, Killian’s eyes didn’t linger. Though still high, he felt refreshed. Just thinking about East did that to him. Once he and Logan finally got inside the party, he spotted all his employees.
They were either in the pool or hanging out around the sides of it. He smiled, hugged, and dapped people up as he passed. Everyone was elated to see him and expressed their congratulatory praises repeatedly.
“Showtime, boss,” Logan whispered to him before grabbing his hand.
Killian looked in the direction she was pulling him in and found East. She, Jaylen, Onyx, and Gabrion had all just walked in. The bright red thong bikini she was wearing had him drooling. Her perfect set of abs and toned legs made the simple bikini much more attractive. Her long hair was wrapped in a small bun at the back of her neck while the large, gold earrings rubbed against her cheeks every time her head moved.
She was on one side of Onyx while Jaylen was on the other. Gabrion was a few steps in front of them all, probably about to lose his mind over all of Killian’s trainers and their friends. The closer Killian and Logan got, the more nervous he got. He wasn’t sure what type of attitude East was about to have with him, but he knew he wanted to make some of that magic Logan spoke of. It was funny how rapidly the tables had changed on him. Now he was the one in the dog house.
