by A'zayler
The world began to spin faster than it did when he was drunk as Yeshi stood in the middle of the floor trying to wrap his mind around his life being taken away from him. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to do. His whole life in Las Vegas was based off what he’d become while working at the accounting firm. All he knew was numbers. Mainly, the numbers derived from the various budgets of the hotel casinos in Vegas.
“My drinking has never prevented me from doing my job before. Why does it have to start now? What I do on my personal time has nothing to do with you all.”
“It does when you’re carrying yourself around like the typical alcoholic tourist,” his boss fired off.
With his chest heaving from the anxiety beginning to set in, Yeshi fell back into his chair and held his head down. He could feel the water rising in his eyes as his throat began to constrict, but he sniffed hard enough to hold it all in. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in the same spot. When he finally raised his head, his boss was gone, and his secretary was seated across from him with a sad expression on her face.
“The fuck you sitting over there looking crazy for? You didn’t get fired.”
Her small eyes widened before she hurried from her seat and scurried from the room. Probably shocked and scared all in one. For the past four years since Yeshi had been working in Las Vegas, he’d been sure to carry himself as the professional that he was. Never allowing his street attitude and lingo to slip out, careful not to let his past ruin his future, but right then, he didn’t give a fuck.
He’d literally just lost everything he had within five minutes and had no idea how he was going to fix it. Sure, he had more than enough money to sustain himself until he found another job, but there was more to his decisions than that. Nevada was all he knew. He’d landed the job at the accounting firm the month after college graduation and had been there ever since.
With the worst childhood in the history of childhoods, he’d left his hometown of Savannah, Georgia, and hadn’t looked back since. With absolutely no plans to go back, but no professional opportunities left in Nevada, Yeshi was doomed. His firm was the biggest one there. Anything else would definitely be a demotion, and that was something he wasn’t willing to do. Not with his education and credentials.
Yeshi may have been an alcoholic, but a reject, he was not. He’d never in his life settle for less than what he deserved. He’d worked too hard to accomplish his dreams to allow them to dwindle in a party city like Las Vegas.
“Let me get my ass out of here.” Yeshi stood to his feet and made the long walk of shame to his office.
Upon reaching it, he began to clear his things from his desk. It didn’t take too long since he’d never really decorated it in the beginning. Yeshi wasn’t a man who liked clutter, so he kept his home and workspace relatively bare.
When he finally finished, Yeshi grabbed all his things, walked out of the office building, and never looked back. He had just placed the last box in his trunk when his cell phone rang. It was Sheena. He immediately ignored it. In the mood he was, she was the very last person he wanted to talk to. Apparently, she didn’t get that memo because she called right back.
“What?”
“Dang, what’s wrong with you?”
Yeshi pulled out of the parking lot. “Bad day. What do you need?”
She paused, further irritating him.
“Asheena?”
“Why do y’all always call my whole name like that?”
“Listen, I’m about to hang up if you don’t tell me what you need.”
“I didn’t want anything. I was just going to ask you did you know that Killian married that girl?”
Yeshi frowned. Why in the world would he care about that?
“Sheena,” he dragged her name. “I’ll hit you back.”
“Bye then, since you’re so busy.”
Yeshi ended the call and tossed his phone in the passenger seat of his car. His mind was all over the place as he sped toward his next destination. He didn’t slow down until the light turned red and he was forced to. Due to how fast he’d just been going, the moment he noticed the red light and had to stop, he ended up slamming on the brakes.
Just when things couldn’t get any worse, a small bottle of vodka slid from beneath his seat. Yeshi’s heart jumped at the sight. He’d bent over and retrieved it before it had a chance to stop sliding. His fingers twisted the cap urgently trying to free the contents of the bottle. Totally forgetting that he was in the middle of traffic, Yeshi drank from the bottle, swallowing what was left.
His face frowned as the warm liquor stung his insides. The moment the light turned green, Yeshi was back in pursuit of his home. He was just about there when the effects of the liquor began to kick in. His head became a little looser than normal, and his thoughts were starting to overpower his sanity. He was sinking rapidly and couldn’t shake it.
Before long, one thought went to another, and he had relived his childhood all over again. His face was tortured, and his vision was practically nonexistent, thanks to the liquor. After finally reaching Truckee River, Yeshi parked his car and got out. Stumbling, the entire time, he found his way to a park bench and sat there trying to ease his mind. Farad Bridge had become one of his favorite places since being in Nevada. It was always so peaceful, and the perfect place to think.
“What you doing here?” Katana’s voice startled him.
Yeshi’s head whipped around to her, making him a bit dizzier than he had been before. He squinted, trying to make sense of his sister’s presence.
“I need to be asking you that.”
Katana sat on the bench next to him and shrugged. “Never left.”
Yeshi was confused as ever as he sat there taking in her appearance. Her clothes were dirty while her hair didn’t look too much better.
“You stink like hell.”
Katana looked down at herself and fidgeted with her fingers. “I know.”
“Why?” Yeshi sat up and looked at her.
“Haven’t showered. Duh, nigga. What you think?”
Yeshi took a deep breath and tried to keep himself calm. His day had been bad enough without adding her mouth to it.
“I’m just really confused right now, Katana.”
After a couple of deep breaths, Katana looked away from him and out toward the people laughing and enjoying their families.
“You know when I flew out here, it wasn’t for my friend’s birthday. I came to stay with you. I got kicked out of my apartment back home after I lost my job. You know we don’t have no family for real, so I came here. That day you threw me out, I just counted it as another loss. I’ve been here slumming it ever since.”
“What the fucking hell, Katana? Why you ain’t say that?”
“Too proud.”
Yeshi shook his head. “You should have told me. I know we have our differences, but they ain’t bad enough that I’d leave you out here alone. Why didn’t you go back to Savannah?”
“I ain’t have nothing there either. I figured if I was going to be homeless it might as well be in a place where nobody knows me.”
Yeshi was completely thrown off by his sister’s admissions. They both had been through hell and back. There was no way he would have allowed her to live that way had he known. His head fell forward as he thought about what could have happened to her.
“I would have helped you.”
Katana nodded. “You still can. I don’t like living like this. It’s scary.”
A fresh wave of sadness washed over him as his mind went back to his own situation. He was no longer in a predicament to even help himself, let alone help someone else.
“You know I got fired today?” He chuckled for no reason. “Ain’t that some shit?”
Katana automatically got an attitude. “You’re lying. You just don’t want to help me,” she fussed.
Her face and teeth were dirty, breath and body smelled horrible, and still, all Yeshi wanted to do was hug her.
“I’
m not lying to you. I promise. Why you think I’m here? I was coming to jump off that muthafucking bridge up there.” His long finger extended toward the bridge.
Katana’s eyes followed it as she sat quietly next to him. The silence that stretched between the two of them went on for a while before she spoke.
“We can do it together.”
Yeshi looked at her with furrowed brows. “Do what?”
“Jump.” She shrugged and stood to her feet.
Without a second thought, Yeshi stood to his feet. “Bet.”
The walk from where they were to the top of the bridge wasn’t a long one, but it had obviously given Katana time to think because she was no longer on board. She’d been trying to convince him to come back over the side of the bridge for the past few minutes, and he wouldn’t.
His body swayed from side to side from the liquor as he blatantly ignored her. Unlike her, he had been serious. There was nothing left of his life. He didn’t want to be viewed as the drunk or anything else that might discredit him. At least if he did it now, he still had his good reputation. The last thing he wanted to do was end up like Katana, walking around homeless. He’d encountered way too many people since being in Nevada to allow that to become his new reality.
“You know I used to wish I could have killed her?” Yeshi clenched his fists around the cement banister. “Even after all these years, it’s like no matter how hard I try, I can’t get the thoughts to go away.” A lone tear rolled down his face as he rocked back and forth.
The pit of Katana’s stomach flipped continuously as she watched the young, vibrant man who she’d grown up with torture himself with the devilish urges to kill his own mother. The one person who he should have loved and cherished over everyone else, he wanted to kill.
“I loved her so much,” he whispered as he leaned forward.
“Yeshi!” Katana screamed at the same time she lunged toward him.
Yeshi’s head snapped around quickly as he released one of his hands from the banister to point at her. “No, Katana. Stay right there.”
Yeshi was in such a bad mental space, he honestly didn’t want his sister anywhere near him. She’d made her decision to stay alive, so she needed to go ahead and go. He didn’t need her hovering over his shoulder trying to stop him. If she wanted to keep living the life they’d been forced to live, then that was on her.
Katana took a few steps back and held her hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. Will you at least grab the banister again? I mean, it’s not much separating you from life and death at this point.”
Yeshi looked down at the murky waters below him and smiled. If he positioned himself right, they would undoubtedly be the end to his miserable life the moment he decided to let go.
“Yeshi, it’s okay to wish you’d killed her. She hurt you in the worst way, but that doesn’t mean you need to bring harm to yourself. Killing yourself won’t solve any of this.”
“Yes, it will. If I’m no longer here, I won’t have to feel any of this pain.” He held his head down, making Katana jump in the process. “I don’t want to feel this anymore. I’ve tried to forget it so many times, and nothing ever works. Now I’ve drunken myself into an even deeper hole.” He leaned forward again.
“Yeshi, please think about all of the things you’ve overcome. Think about all your friends. They’ll be devastated.” Katana slowly took a step toward him. “You’ve beat a bad life before, and you can do it again.” She inched as close as she could as she took advantage of him finally listening to her. “You’re a superhero. Superheroes don’t cower, they fight until the finish. They face the impossible and conquer it.” Katana stopped when she was directly behind him. “Conquer this, Yeshi. Get ahold of yourself and show everybody who has wronged us that we can overcome.”
Yeshi listened to his sister, wanting to live all the things she was saying, but it was all a lie. Even she had said bad things to him in the past. The only reason she was clearly having a change of heart was that he was about to die. He would have assumed she would have pushed him over without a second thought as much as she seemed to hate him.
“Yeshi, the darkest hour is always just before day. Your day is coming soon, just don’t give up, brother.” Katana touched his arm and lay her forehead lightly against it. Careful not to put any extra pressure on his body. “I love you, and I need you to stay here with me. Don’t do this… please. We’ve beaten the odds before, and we can do it again.”
Yeshi closed his eyes, wishing he had a drink. The half of bottle of vodka he’d swallowed in the car was still very potent in his body, but he craved more. He always craved more. Dammit! That was his problem. He was a drunk who refused to take heed to the warnings. He’d known the signs were there, but he’d kept drinking. Liquor was the only thing that made him feel better about himself. It freed his mind of all his troubles. At least, that’s what it had been doing until then. All it had done for him then was make the ruins of the latter part of his life match those of the beginning.
“Come on, we’ll get over it. I’ll stay here, and we’ll find a way to make all of this better.” Katana rubbed his arm.
Yeshi nodded and cleared his throat. “Okay… okay. Scoot back so I can get down.”
Katana’s excitement showed in her quick movements as she moved backward. With her hands now clasped together beneath her chin, she watched him swing one leg over the side of the bridge before the other. His face was long with sorrow as he stared at her with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. The pain exuded from him so strongly that Katana and anyone else in close proximity could probably feel it in their own hearts.
“I’m sorry for not being able to be the big brother you always needed.”
“You had your own issues. You couldn’t fix me and you at the same time.” She held her hand out to him in an effort to help him down from the dangerous edge. “If anyone knows how you feel, it’s me.” A sympathetic look covered her face as she waited for him to take her hand.
“We deserved better.”
“We did, and we’ll get it. We just can’t get weary in well doing.”
Yeshi agreed. “How are you this positive when you’re just as fucked up as me?” He stared at her longingly. “How do you do that?”
With a light shrug of her shoulders, Katana answered. “God. Though I’ve gotten away from him lately, his word is what got me this far. It assures me that even the toughest trials and tribulations will pass. One day, all the troubles of this world will be over, and we’ll be with him in Heaven where there will be no broken hearts. But, for now, we just have to suffer through it until time heals our wounds. I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s all I’ve ever had to hold on to. It helps, believe it or not.”
“No broken hearts in Heaven, huh?” Yeshi stared at her.
“None,” she stated firmly.
“Well, hopefully, I’ll see you there one day.”
Before Katana could say anything else or stop what was happening, Yeshi’s body fell backward and over the side of the bridge. Katana rushed to the side to see him twirling and falling through the air. With it being a little after four in the afternoon, the sky around them was bright and did nothing to save her from vividly seeing the catastrophe.
“Yeshi! No! Why’d you do that?” she screamed at the top of her lungs once she’d turned her back and slid down onto the ground in a heap.
Tears sprouted immediately as she wailed and threw a tantrum. Her screams were loud and piercing, but unfortunately, it wasn’t loud enough to drown out the loud splash from his body finally hitting the water. The agony that encompassed her entire body was paralyzing and prevented her from doing anything outside of screaming.
Why had he done that? Why wouldn’t he just let her help him? She had so many questions that she couldn’t vocalize as she rocked back and forth while holding herself. Her head was tight and felt like it would burst at any given moment. With her face soaking wet from her cries, she lay backward, resting her head against the c
ement wall.
“God, whyyyy?” she whined. “Have mercy on his soul, Jesus, please.”
The minutes passed slowly as she fought to get herself together. Once she was finally able to rationalize what was going on, there were voices surrounding her and screaming out different renditions of help. People were everywhere trying to figure out what happened.
“My brother just jumped off the bridge,” was the only sentence she could manage as she held her head down.
Katana answered all the people’s questions to the best of her ability as she mentally broke down on the sidewalk. In her heart, she could tell that moment would change her life forever. She thought she’d been broken before, but she had no idea how much Yeshi’s death would really ruin her.
10. Why Need Somebody Else, When You’ve Got Me?
With warm blankets covering her from head to toe, East still wasn’t satisfied. The bright sun was shining directly into her eyes and ruining every ounce of the wet dream she’d been having. She and Killian had been in the middle of the mall having sex on the small bench in front of Victoria’s Secret. Her throat was bound by his hand, and he was moments from climaxing when a multitude of shiny rays decided to make their debut.
“It’s about time you woke your behind up. Been over there moaning for the past five minutes. I didn’t know whether to wake you up or jack my dick.”
East rolled over with a smile on her face and found Killian leaning on the dresser with his arms folded across his chest. The dark grey cotton sweat suit he was wearing lay precisely against his long frame, while the bright red fitted cap sat low over his eyes. Gold jewelry, which she’d deemed as Killian’s best friend, decorated his wrists, neck, and ears.
“How long you been here?”
Killian looked at the big faced Rolex on his arm. “About ten minutes. I was coming to take you to breakfast, but I’ve been so busy watching this soft porn you’re putting on that I damn near forgot I was hungry.”
Why East felt embarrassed in front of Killian was so alarming to her, but she felt horrible right then. Literally, nudes on social media, prostitute in church, horrible.
