“Will it last forever? His memory loss, I mean?”
He shook his head. “It’ll gradually come back to him over the next few weeks.”
She looked up at him. The full reality of what she’d learned washed over her. Brad and Louise were actually working for the forces of darkness, and had spent her formative years telling her she was evil and a freak, when in fact they’d known perfectly well she was a powerful witch.
And her mother… Kimi’s eyes filled with tears. Her mother had thought herself all alone, when, in fact, they could have helped her, but they’d stood by and let her take her own life.
The tears spilled down her cheeks and she pressed her hand to her mouth.
“Oh, come here.” Damien reached out and pulled her into his arms.
Chapter Fourteen
Damien let Kimi nestle into him as her wracking sobs shook her whole body. He sighed, his arms tightening around her. Part of him wished he’d killed the bastard. Would that make her feel better? Probably not. Would have made him feel better though.
He let her cry into his shirt, stroking her hair and murmuring gentle words of reassurance. It wasn’t just the shock of finding out about Brad, he thought, it was all the stress of the past few days and maybe even some of the struggle of the past few years coming out in her. She’d tried so hard to cope on her own, but the realisation of what had happened in her family had made her realise how insecure her life truly was.
A surge of protectiveness made him pick her up and carry her over to the sofa where he sat with her on his lap, cradling her in his arms, resting his cheek against the top of her head. He contented himself with holding her, waiting for her shock and anger to take its natural course, and sure enough, gradually her sobs began to lessen, and her breathing slowed.
He kissed the top of her head, cursing himself as he did so, but unable to hold back the strong urge to comfort her. She moved, glancing at Storm, who’d rested his head on his knee and was looking up at her. She held out a hand toward him. Damien went to tell her not to touch the wolf, but, to his shock, Storm’s tongue slipped through her fingers. She would only have felt it on the astral level, but she shivered, and he knew she’d felt the touch. He glared at the wolf, whose eyebrows moved as it looked up at him. She’d even captivated his spirit guide. That had never happened before. What was going on?
Kimi remained where she was, in the circle of his arms, but he felt a change in the air, a sudden stillness, a focussing of the moment, similar to what he’d felt in the woods. The hairs rose on his arms, and his neck prickled. He knew if they’d been outside the birdsong would have ceased, and falling leaves would have frozen in mid-air, halfway to the ground.
He held his breath. His heart thudded so loud, she must have been able to hear it. His portal was still open, and her aura pulsed gold. He examined it, drawn to the swirling colours. In spite of her grief, it was a deep blue, tinged with purple, a witch’s aura. Storm looked up, and Damien pulled back to see what the wolf was looking at.
Above her head, nestled in the depths of her aura like an egg in a pile of feathers, was a small, sparkling star.
Damien stared.
Margaret had been wrong. The forces of darkness hadn’t sent Kimi. Quite the opposite. The star was the gift of the Goddess, a sign of Her blessing, and it marked Kimi as not only an exceptional witch, which he already knew, but also as a person who was going to play an integral part in the events to come—as Her emissary, Her messenger, sent to carry out Her bidding.
And suddenly, he knew why the Gods were showing him this, and why he’d felt that their destinies were interwoven. The Higher Powers had sent Kimi to him because he had to teach her. That was why he’d felt their meeting to be pre-ordained. Not because she was meant to be his mate. But because she had a destiny, and it was his job to help her achieve it.
He studied the star, resentment threading through him. It was so unfair. He didn’t want Kimi the witch, he wanted Kimi the young woman, a hot chick he’d literally bumped into on the dance floor—he wanted to take her to dinner, to the movies, to kiss her under the full moon without sending sparks flying. But the Higher Powers were instructing him. They’d intended Kimi for greater things. She’s meant for the Goddess, they were saying. Not for you.
He felt such anger that his hands burned, and he radiated heat. Storm lifted his head and looked around, his silver eyes coming back to rest on him. No, Damien wanted to yell at him. If I want her, I’ll have her! But he’d spent a lifetime following the rules and regulations of his order—how could he now go against the wishes of the Gods?
Destiny weighed so heavily on him, he felt pressed into the sofa. It was as if they were carriages on a railway track, being carried in a particular direction, as if there was only one path he could take, and veering from that path would mean stars would fall from the sky and the world would stop turning. But the events of his life weren’t engraved in stone—he had control of his own fate. Didn’t he?
“I can feel it,” Kimi whispered suddenly. “The spinning of the Earth.” She raised her head and looked at him. Her green eyes were very bright, like emeralds in sunlight. She wiped her cheeks. “What’s happening?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, knowing he sounded curt.
Their eyes locked. He felt as if he were looking into the bottom of a deep pool—he could almost see her thoughts shining in the depths like silver fish. She was afraid of the attraction she felt for him—she knew they had to fight it. It was as if they were trying to push an enormous boulder up an incredibly steep hill. If they kissed, they’d be going against the natural order of things—volcanoes would erupt, and tidal waves would sweep cities into the ocean.
Let her fulfil her destiny, the voices whispered. She’s not for you.
He was breathing as hard as if he’d been running for half an hour. “Margaret thinks the forces of darkness sent you to distract me, to get me out of the way for the invasion,” he said.
She studied him, her bottom lip trembling. “She’s wrong,” she said. “Evil doesn’t feel like this. But even so, Damien, we can’t…”
“Is that what you want, to fight me?” Why was he so attracted to her, if this wasn’t what the Gods wanted? How cruel could they be? Was it all just a huge test? “Nobody tells me what to do,” he said fiercely.
“I know.” A tear tipped over the edge of her lashes, like a boat going over the Niagara Falls.
He tried to ignore it. “Not even the Gods.” He held her tightly. He was so angry he could have shaken her. He was tired of being the plaything of the universe. Of doing what was right. “This is my life, and if I want you, I’ll damn well have you.”
She went white.
He gripped her arms. “I’m in charge of my own life. I write my own history.”
“Damien, I want you too, but…”
Furious with the Higher Powers and himself, he kissed her fiercely, wanting to show them that if he desired her, he could have her, regardless of her destiny. He crushed her to him, but she didn’t cry out or push him away. Her face was wet, and suddenly he felt a wave of anguish and pity toward this young woman. She deserved so much better than this. He’d never forced a woman in his life, not even close, and he cursed himself for his insensitivity. She was hurt and vulnerable—the last thing she needed was for him to exploit her like this.
He pulled his head back, intending to get up, but she slipped her hand behind his neck, threading her fingers through his short hair.
“It’s okay,” she whispered.
He’d thought he knew so much about the world and its patterns, about providence and luck and how things happened, but he didn’t understand this. He had so much to teach her, and yet here she was, understanding him, directing him. She pulled his head down gently and kissed him, and he closed his eyes. Her mouth was so soft, her tongue smooth as it brushed against his. He shivered, enveloping himself in the smell of her, the taste of her. Gods, but he was lost. He was so weak. He could no more
fight this than fight the turning of the tides, whatever the Goddess wanted. Herne, he thought with a small piece of his mind. I need her. Don’t let the Goddess be angry with me.
He deepened his kiss, his hands sliding down her body, but stopped as she gasped and pulled back. He looked up, following her gaze to see the light bulb above them flickering, even though she hadn’t switched it on.
She moved back, pressing her lips together, wiping her cheeks again. She swung her legs off him and pushed herself to her feet. Hugging her arms across her chest, she went across to the chair opposite him and perched on the edge.
He sat forward and threaded both hands through his hair, then rested his lips against his knuckles. He met her gaze, and for a moment, they just looked at each other.
“I’ve got to come back with you,” she said after a while.
“I know.”
“Damien…there are more important things than us at stake here.”
He said nothing. She was half-right. They were intertwined with the fate of things. She held his future in her hands, but, as yet, he couldn’t see how, like he was looking into a mirror fogged with steam.
She examined her nails. “I’ll come with you, but we’ve got to keep apart. Not because Margaret says so, but because we need a clear head for what’s coming, and when I’m near you…well, let’s just say that things aren’t so clear.”
The sparkling star in her aura had disappeared, although he knew he hadn’t imagined it. She was right—their future wasn’t clear yet. It was as if they were looking at a picture too closely—they knew they were part of the pattern but couldn’t see the whole design. They needed to take a step back.
And suddenly, he knew he would have time. Almost as if someone had laid a guiding hand on his shoulder, he felt calm descend, and knew someone was watching over them, and that, if he was being directed, it was only by someone or something who wanted the best for him. It wasn’t about asserting free will. He was attempting to fight against a natural phenomenon, like trying to stop the onset of the seasons, or the rise of the sun. He’d lived his life so far by putting his trust in the Gods and accepting he was on the right path. This was not the time for rebellion—not against the Gods, anyway. Against man, or woman, maybe. But that was another story.
He had to protect her, train her, to get her ready for whatever was coming. Maybe then, they would be free to be just Damien and Kimi, man and woman.
He pushed himself to his feet. “You really want to come back with me?”
She looked around the room. “I can’t stay here. I don’t want to stay here. There are things going on I don’t understand—I feel like my whole life has been a play and I’ve just been acting it out. I don’t want to be out of control like this. I want to learn about my talents and what I can do—I want to know the truth.”
“Then go and pack your stuff. Let’s get back to The Crux. We’ve got work to do.”
Chapter Fifteen
It took Kimi about ten minutes to pack up her meagre amount of stuff. Afterward, she went and saw her landlord and explained she would be away for a couple of weeks. She had a little bit of savings and paid her rent in advance for a month, although deep down something was telling her she wouldn’t be back. She hoped fervently it wasn’t because she was going to die at the hands of a vampire somewhere. She then nipped down the road and told the owner of the café where she waitressed that she wouldn’t be around for a few weeks. He wasn’t best pleased, but again she had a strange feeling she wouldn’t be back anyway, and she wasn’t distraught to leave the dingy cafe behind.
When she’d finally finished, Damien took her hand and led her to his car.
He’d hardly said two words to her since she’d told him she’d be going back with him. He hadn’t said he was pleased, and he hardly looked overjoyed. But he did hold her hand. However, she wondered if he wished she wasn’t going with him. He seemed caught up in his thoughts and, as he drove out of London, she left him to them, watching the dirty windows and high-rise buildings flash by, glad to be escaping to the fresh air of Devon.
After about half an hour, he signalled to come off the motorway and stopped at a service station. “Coffee?” he asked. “And lunch.”
“I’m not hungry.”
He gave her a look. “You need to eat more.”
“You the diet police now?”
“No, but I’m going to be keeping an eye on you, so you’d better get used to it. Healthy body…”
“Healthy mind,” she finished. “Okay, I give in.”
They got out of the car. He took her hand as they walked into the building.
“Why do you do that?” His hands were always warm, and, for some reason, when he held hers it seemed like a strangely intimate gesture. “I’m not your girlfriend, and I’m not a four-year-old.”
“I want to make sure you don’t run away.”
“Really?”
“No.” He winked at her. “Come on, what do you want to eat?”
She chose a chicken sandwich, and he picked a cheese roll. He ordered two coffees, and they chose a seat by the window. They ate in silence for a while. Eventually, however, she could stand the quiet no longer.
“Damien, are you angry with me?”
He turned surprised eyes onto her. “Angry?” He laughed. “Of course not.”
“You’ve hardly said two words to me since we left.”
“Sorry. Got a lot on my mind.”
She sipped her coffee, wondering what he was thinking about. “Would you rather I’d stayed in London?”
“Nah. Anyway, you were put on this Earth to drive me crazy, I can sense it. What can a man do against a destiny like that?”
She smiled. “Damien?”
“Yes…”
“Do you believe in reincarnation?”
His eyebrows rose. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that! Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.”
“Do you think we’ve met before? Is that why I feel like I’ve known you more than two days?”
He sipped his coffee. “No, I don’t think so. I don’t think I’ve been here before.”
She sat up straighter, surprised. “Really? You seem like an old soul.”
“Are you talking about my age again?”
She grinned. “No. I meant with all the stuff you know.”
“Actually, I think the more times you come back, the less spiritual ‘stuff’ you remember.”
“So you’re like a new soul?” She smiled. “An angel, come down to teach us?”
“Maybe.” He smiled back.
She could actually believe that. “You’d make a great archangel,” she said. “Although maybe you’re not quite good enough to deserve a halo.”
He grinned at her. “My naughty streak comes out when you’re around.”
She laughed. “So why do you think it feels like we’ve known each other before?”
“It’s not a question of knowing each other before. We’re just aware of…life’s pattern, shall we say.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he smiled. “You’re going to have enough to think about over the next week or so.”
There was something he wasn’t telling her, she could sense it. “Damien…”
“Don’t worry about it,” he repeated firmly, giving her his teacherly glance.
She stuck her tongue out at him, but didn’t press him when he raised an eyebrow. He was referring to the feeling she’d had when they’d first met, that somehow they were meant to meet at that moment. Other than that, though, she didn’t know what else he was hiding.
“So what sort of classes am I going to have to take?” she asked, changing the subject. “Are many of them run by Margaret?”
“No. I’ll be taking the majority of them. Though there may be one you’ll have to take with either her or Rose.”
“Oh?”
“Moon cycles and…other cycles. How they coincide. Personal issues.”
“You
don’t teach that?”
He shrugged. “I could. But women tend to be more comfortable learning that stuff from another woman.”
“I want you to teach me,” she said before she could stop herself.
He leaned back in his chair, a small smile on his face. “I thought you didn’t like being embarrassed.”
“I don’t.” Automatically her cheeks grew warm. “But…” How could she say what she was feeling? That somehow it was the most important thing in the world that he be the one who showed her everything?
He glanced at the floor, and she knew he was looking at Storm. He gave the wolf a slight glare. When he looked back up at her, his eyes were hot, mischievous.
“What?” she said.
“Nothing.” He looked her up and down. “So I’m stuck with you for the foreseeable future.”
She studied him for a moment. Because of the way he was sitting, with one arm hooked over the back of his chair, his white shirt had tightened across his chest, exposing a deep V of tanned skin and a scattering of light brown hair. Energy ran through her body and her hands went hot. His smile broadened, and she knew he’d read her thoughts. “Are you looking at my aura again?”
“Always.”
She glared at him. “Are you going to teach me how to do that, too? It’s such an unfair advantage.”
He grinned. “Ah, you women have other visible ways of working out when we guys are turned on.”
“That’s no good when you’re sitting behind a table.”
He laughed and finished off his coffee. “Come on. The sooner we’re back, the sooner we can start educating you.”
Something had changed when they sat together in her flat. She pondered on it as they walked out. He was still flirtatious, still warm and friendly, but his self-control had tightened, and he was focussing on what he had to teach her rather than the attraction between them. Had he received some kind of warning? Part of her was sad, but part of her was also relieved. It would be a lot easier to keep focussed if he wasn’t coming on to her all the time.
Midnight Shaman, Fire Witch Page 13
