“Whatever you need, Liv,” he promises, and I struggle to breathe through the lump in my throat.
He says goodbye to Nic and promises to be back first thing in the morning. All the while, I try to contain the sobs that are threatening to tear from my throat.
There are only a few seconds of silence before I feel the bed dip beside me and the heat of Nic’s hand lands on my shoulder.
“You’re not asleep, are you?” she asks, a little more in tune with my act than I hoped for.
Deciding against the heart to heart she inevitably wants I continue to pretend, keeping my breathing as steady as possible.
She’s silent for a long time. I expect her to get up and walk away, so it surprises me when she starts talking. “What’s going on, Liv?” She sounds totally defeated, and I feel awful for trying to pretend everything is okay when all she wants to do is help. “Why won’t you just tell us? We’re all here for you. You could have a great life here. I know it’s what Liam wants. Seriously, Liv, you should have seen him after you left—talk about lost puppy.” She lets out a long breath when I still don’t respond. She obviously can’t see the tears soaking her pillowcase beneath me.
“Okay, well, sleep well, and I’ll see you in the morning.” She leans down and softly kisses my temple before getting up, walking out and quietly closing the door.
The sounds of her and Dec talking below me drift up, but eventually, the sleep that I so desperately need drags me under.
* * *
The heat of his hand wrapped around my neck has my eyes as wide as they will go and I gasp for breath. I claw at his shoulders until I feel the warmth of his blood under my nails. His crazy eyes stare down into mine. He’s enjoying this, and the look in his eyes is telling me that the more I fight, the more he’s going to get off on it.
I wake with a start, my skin covered in sweat and my entire body shaking as fear and adrenaline race through me.
“Oh my god,” I whisper, dropping my head into my hands and slowly breathing in and out, trying to calm my racing heart. This is turning into a nightly occurrence. As if it’s not bad enough that I’m terrified to fall asleep in case I’m caught unawares, but once I do fall asleep, he’s right there, in my face, breathing down on me, reminding me that it’s only a matter of time.
With the memory of my nightmare still clouding my thoughts, I rush to get out of bed. I pull some clothes from my bag and drag them on, throwing the few things I have inside it, making the bed, and leaving the room.
I silently tiptoe down the stairs. Finding a notepad and a pen on the unit in the hallway, I make quick work of leaving a note for Nicole.
I’m so sorry I ruined your night. You’re all better off without me here.
Speak soon x
Liam
“Morning,” I say, holding out the tray of coffees and bag of pastries I stopped to pick up on the way here.
I’ve already drank my body weight in coffee this morning after spending the night tossing and turning. I couldn’t get her scared and vulnerable eyes out of my mind. I was angry that I allowed Nicole to send me away. I should have been with her. Every part of me screamed to get myself back to her, to wrap my arms around her and show her that she’s safe, that I won’t allow anything to hurt her.
By the time 8am rolls around, I couldn’t wait any longer. I jumped in my car, my heart racing at the thought of seeing her again while nerves and apprehension ran rampant around my body at how she might react after last night.
“What’s that look for?” I ask when Nic turns her sad eyes on me. “What’s happened?”
“She’s gone.”
“She’s what?” I shout, louder than I was anticipating. Nicole just manages to move aside as I barge in past her. “For fuck’s sake, Nic. You said you’d keep an eye on her.”
“I wasn’t expecting her to run in the middle of the night.”
I fall down on to her sofa after dumping everything on the table and drop my head into my hands.
“She’s a mess, Nic.”
“You think I don’t know that? I’m just as worried as you are, you know.”
“All right, you two. Calm down,” Dec says, walking into the room fresh from the shower.
“Have you called her?”
“Of course. It just rings off.”
“Give me her number.”
“No.”
“What? No? Fucking hell, Nic.”
“Enough,” Dec snaps, turning angry eyes on me. “If you’re going to talk to her like that, you can leave.” I probably should be pissed that Dec’s telling me off like a child, but I can’t help pride swelling within me that he’s found Nicole and that his main priority is to protect her. I watched him for years toss girl after girl aside, too scared to commit to any of them. “What?” he barks when he sees my smile.
“Nothing,” I mutter before turning back to Nic. “Please, we need to find out what’s going on. She might answer me.”
“If she wanted you to have her number, don’t you think she’d have given it to you herself?”
I’m well aware of this, and it’s pissed me off more than I care to admit since she left a few weeks ago. There was no denying the connection between us. Then, she just upped and left, much like right now, with no way for me to contact her unless Nicole ever caved and handed it over. I’ve tried finding her online but always come up empty handed. Who doesn’t have social media accounts these days?
“So what the fuck are we going to do? She’s fucking falling apart; we can’t just sit back and allow it to happen.”
“What are we meant to do? She obviously doesn’t want us getting involved. As hard as it is, we need to give her the time and space to come to us.”
“What if that’ll be too late?”
“What do you mean, too late?”
“I don’t…” I blow out a slow breath as I try to shake the fear surrounding me. I’ve got a bad feeling about all of this. “I don’t know what it is. She refused to say a word but, whatever it is, it’s bad.”
“I know,” Nicole whispers, reaching for one of the coffees. “We have to trust she knows what she’s doing.”
“But what if she doesn’t? What then?”
Chapter Four
Olivia
My feet are like lead weights as I drag my weary body up the dingy stairwell towards our flat. The sole light that still works flickers above my head as the unwelcome familiar smell of piss and old cigarette smoke fills my nose. Welcome home, I think with a sad laugh.
I realised once I was on the road that I’d probably made a mistake leaving like that. But what else was I meant to do? Wake up this morning and pretend that everything’s fine? Or worse—tell the truth. Tell them everything I’m desperately trying to keep hidden. Just spill out all the ugliness that is my life. If I did that, they would never allow me out of their sight again, let alone return to this hellhole. But as shit as my life is here, it’s where I need to be. I have people relying on me, people I need to try to protect.
I’m lost in my thoughts, and I’m on autopilot as I push the key in the lock and give the door a hard shove to get it to open. Ever since it was almost ripped from its hinges, it’s not all that happy about functioning as it should.
The flat’s in darkness as I step into the hallway and toe off my shoes. Expecting David to be sleeping, or passed out, I’m not prepared for the loud crash and deep growl to filter through from the living room. My stomach knots and my hands begin to tremble as my fear takes over. I hadn’t even considered that he’d be here. I feel so stupid for not expecting it.
A garbled cry vibrates off the walls before I hear the recognisable sound of skin connecting with skin.
They’ve no idea I’m here. I could turn and run. I could go back to where I came from, and they’d be none the wiser.
“No, please,” David begs, and the defeat in his voice has me jumping into action. He’s the reason I can’t just walk out.
He must hear me coming because the s
econd I step into the doorway, his head turns, and his haunted eyes land on me.
“Oh, here she is,” he spits. “Your little bitch has come to your rescue. Or maybe she wants to play, too.” His gaze drops from my eyes in favour of running over my body. I swallow down the bile that threatens to rise up my throat at being objectified.
Tearing my eyes away from the monster stood in front of me, I look down to my boyfriend as he splutters, trying to drag in as much oxygen as possible with his brother’s dirty, calloused hand wrapped around his neck. His eye is already swelling and fresh blood is dripping from his split lip. Anger ignites within me that this pathetic excuse for a man has ruined what was my boyfriend. David’s so scared of him, the man who’s meant to be his older brother, that he’s totally lost himself. He’s drowning, and I’m fighting to keep him above water the best I can, but I feel I’m losing the battle a little more every time he comes crashing into our lives.
“Let him go, Griff.” My voice is steady and strong, the exact opposite of how I feel right now with his bloodshot eyes staring daggers at me. They’re exactly like in my nightmares. His greasy, long hair hangs limply around his sullen face; he looks like hell.
“Not until he gives me what he owes me.”
“I…don’t ha…”
“You keep saying that, you little rat,” he spits down at David.
“How much?” I ask. I usually refuse any demands for money, but I’m too exhausted right now to fight. If he turns on me, I’m fucked.
Griff stares down at David, who’s starting to turn blue, with hatred pouring from his eyes.
“Hundred,” he manages to force out. “For now.”
Reaching for my purse, I pull out some notes I withdrew to put towards this month’s rent. That fucker knew we’d have money here.
“Here.” My voice trembles, and when he turns to look at me, a cold sweat breaks across my skin. If I never look into those evil eyes again, it wouldn’t be too soon.
“Good girl,” he slurs when he spots the wad of cash between my fingers.
He releases David after giving him one last shove, and he collapses onto his side on the sofa, gasping for breath. Griff turns on me.
Adrenaline races through me, and my muscles twitch with the need to escape. I swallow it down and prepare to go toe to toe with the man of my nightmares.
He comes to a stop in front of me and stares down, caging me in between his six foot two height and the wall at my back.
“That was easier than I was hoping for.” He lifts his arm and I flinch when his cold fingertips touch my cheek. He runs them down until he gets to the faint bruise he left on my collarbone and presses into it. Stepping forward, his shallow breaths fan my face, my stomach turning over as he presses the entire length of his body against me. The smell of whiskey mixes with stale cigarettes and what I can only assume is week-old sweat. I can feel how much my fear turns him on, and I’m desperate to react, but I know it’s futile; he’d only get off on it more.
“Until next time, sweetheart. You know I like to keep you waiting.” His fingers thread into my hair and he tugs. The sting shoots down my spine but I don’t react. He doesn’t need to know he’s getting to me. “Anticipation is everything,” he drawls, running his nose softly along my jaw and breathing me in before releasing me, turning on his heel and marching from the flat.
Sagging back against the wall, I allow myself to just breathe for a few seconds. When I eventually look up from our faded carpet, I find my boyfriend cowering in the corner of the sofa, his eyes wide. Fear, apology and defeat pour from them.
None of it means anything.
Tearing my gaze from his, I square my shoulders and walk into our bedroom, slamming the door loudly behind me. It’s only once I’m alone that I allow everything to rush out of me. Sliding my back down the door, I come to a rest on my bum and wrap my arms around my knees as tears stream down my face and tremors of fear continue to shake my body.
* * *
“David, we’re meant to be meeting your parents in an hour. You need to get yourself together.” After collecting the bottles and cans littered around the living room, I take them all to the kitchen and deposit them with the others waiting to go down to the recycling.
It’s been a week since Griff’s last visit, and life has got back to what seems to be normality. David spends most of his days drunk as he tries to drown everything with as much vodka as he can get his hands on. I understand his need to escape, I really do, but I wish he’d fight. He’s better than this. The man I first met, the man I fell in love with, wasn’t this weak. He knew how to look after himself. He knew how to protect me. None of this is his fault. He’s the victim. It’s why I’m still here. I’m desperate to drag the real David back out of wherever he’s hiding. I want to go back to how we once were—before Griff turned our lives into living nightmares.
He groans and rolls onto his back as I walk back towards him. “For fuck’s sake. Get up. It’s your dad’s birthday; they’re expecting you to turn up fucking sober.” Shoving his legs from the sofa in frustration, I try to drag him up.
When he eventually gets himself into a sitting position, I thrust a mug of black coffee at him. “Drink,” I demand. “Then get in the shower. You fucking stink.”
He looks up at me and I can see everything in his eyes that he’s too afraid to say. He knows all to well that I don’t need to be here. Every time he looks at me, it’s as if he’s begging for me to get out while I still can.
After what feels like a decade, he manages to stumble his way to the bathroom. When everything goes quiet, I let out a sigh and march in to see what’s going on. Usually, I would just leave him to do his thing, but I told his mum that he’d make an effort today, like she is.
Their family was very different when I first met them. His mum was full of life, his dad was full of jokes and banter, and David was…perfect. I had no idea of the pain that was only just around the corner that would bring them all to their knees.
I always knew David had an older brother. There were photos of the two of them growing up all over his parents’ house, and when they told me he’d moved away, I had no reason to question them.
Then, everything changed overnight. At the time, I was totally in the dark as to why, but it was like someone flicked a switch and all the lightness drained from what once was a happy family. David hit the bottle, his mum’s depression pulled her under, and his dad continued mostly as he was, but had his head so far in the clouds as he ignored what was going on. It was unbelievable. They needed someone to be strong, to help pull them through whatever it was that was going on.
Then I met the reason.
Griff.
He hadn’t just moved away. He’d been in prison, and everyone was terrified of him.
When I find David, he’s leaning forward with his hands on the basin and his head hanging between his shoulders. Walking past him, I turn the shower on before stripping him out of his disgusting clothes and shoving him towards the water.
“Why are you doing this?” he asks, his eyes locked onto the floor.
“Because your mum deserves it.”
She’s really been trying to drag herself back from her depression recently. She’s started seeing a therapist after finally accepting she has an issue. We’ve met for coffee a couple of times, like we used to do before everything kicked off. I can see how badly she wants a normal life again. I want that for them all as well, but I fear that while Griff’s presence is still hanging over all of us, it won’t be possible. I need to at least try. These people are practically my family; I won’t abandon them just because things have become hard.
I leave him to wash, hoping he’s capable of it, while I attempt to clean up the mess he’s left behind.
I left clothes out on the bed for him, and when he reappears wearing them a while later, I’m transported back to when things were good. The little snippets of what our relationship was once like is another reason I stay. I know that he can fight this and
be the David I knew and loved. I’m sure of it.
His blonde hair is still damp and pushed back off his face, and his black shirt hugs his slim frame. I ignore the things that never used to be there like his dark, haunted eyes, the slightly sunken cheekbones and his constant frown.
His eyes run over my body, taking in my floral dress and kitten heels, but I don’t think he really sees them…me. His eyes are just as emotionless when they meet mine again as they were when I first woke him. I fear any love left in this house is very much one-sided. I wonder for the millionth time whether, if the situation was reversed, he’d still be with me, fighting to keep just any tiny bit of what we had. Just like all the other times, I push away the answer that I don’t want to hear. I’m doing the right thing. Stepping up to him, I reach up on my tiptoes and drop a kiss to his freshly shaven cheek. This situation isn’t about me. David and his family deserve for me to fight it out with them.
“Ready?” I ask, and he silently nods before turning towards the front door. I grab my bag from the coffee table just as my phone pings with a message. Pulling it out, I’m not surprised to see Nicole’s name on the screen. She’s been relentless since I ran away. Thankfully, she’s stopped demanding to know what’s going on. She’s changed tact now and just talks about how much fun we could have if I were down there. She also drops in as often as possible that Liam keeps asking about me, and how much he misses me. It’s like a knife to my heart every time she even says his name. He was so incredible the night of her engagement party. He was kind and gentle with me. I feel awful for leaving the way I did and refusing to have any contact with him since, but I’ll be fucked if I’m going to allow them to get in the middle of what’s going on here. They seem to think they can just swoop in, take me away and everything will be okay, but what about the people I’d be leaving behind?
Falling For Liam (Falling Book 9) Page 4