Falling For Liam (Falling Book 9)

by Tracy Lorraine

  I reply to her message that I’m fine and tell her I’m just heading out and will speak to her later. She probably thinks I’m just fobbing her off, but unlike most times I make excuses not to talk, this time I’m actually being truthful.

  I drive us to the pub where Lynn has booked a table. David’s silent the entire journey, and I can sense the tension radiating from him almost as strongly as the stench of last night’s alcohol that’s still clinging to his skin, despite the shower and fresh clothes.

  Lynn assured me it would just be the four of us for this meal, but her words don’t stop me from letting out a sigh of relief when I see a table laid up for just four and the two of them already waiting for us as we walk into the restaurant. She’s under some illusion that prison sorted her eldest son out, something I sincerely hope the therapist is working on with her, so I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s been invited at the last minute.

  “Liv, David, it’s so good to see you both.” She’s up and pulling us both into hugs the second we step up to the table. If she smells the alcohol on David, she doesn’t react—neither does his dad, but I’m not really surprised. I think the place could collapse around him and he wouldn’t notice right now.

  The tension hangs thick around us all as we try to make polite conversation. Lynn asks me about my shitty call centre job like it’s the best job in the world, and I answer her questions with as much enthusiasm as possible. In reality, I’m on my last warning after disappearing off for two weeks in the summer and having a couple of sick days recently. Apparently, a zero hour contract only works one way, and it’s certainly not in my favour.

  We’re waiting for the waitress to come over and take our orders when the atmosphere changes and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Looking at Lynn, I see a wide smile on her face. Joy radiates from her, while dread sits heavy in my belly.

  David visibly stiffens next to me.

  “I didn’t think you were going to make it,” Lynn says, her eyes still locked on the person behind me. I pray to whomever might be listening that it isn’t going to be the inevitable and that she’s invited her sister or someone, but I know it’s pointless. My body knew he was here the second he stepped foot in the place.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” His words are so insincere. I almost want to laugh. Since the day he got out of prison, all he’s done is screw over the people sitting around this table.

  My hands are clenched so tightly that my nails are beginning to cut into the skin. I try to contain the trembling of my body so it’s not obvious to everyone around me, but when I look up once again, I realise I don’t need to worry. David’s staring at the table, his dad’s focus is on something the other side of the room, and Lynn is still lovingly gazing at her eldest son.

  I hear his footsteps behind me before the heat of his hand lands on my bare shoulder. It burns, and I flinch.

  “Olivia, a pleasure as always,” he drawls, and my skin crawls. I try discreetly moving away from his touch, but he has other ideas, and instead trails his fingertips along the base of my neck. My stomach turns over as my need to run starts to get the better of me.

  I hear Lynn asking a nearby waiter to lay another place, so I make the most of the distraction and excuse myself to the bathroom.

  My legs are like jelly as I force them to move as fast as they’ll go. His eyes burn into me the whole way. I don’t need to look over my shoulder to know, but at the very last minute, my head spins and our eyes lock. The skin around his bloodshot eyes creases as he narrows them at me in amusement. I know how much he enjoys getting to me. It’s why I try so hard to appear unaffected by him. But he knows. He always knows.

  Tripping over the little step into the ladies’, I stumble forward and just about manage to steady myself when my hands land on the basin. I keep my head hung for a couple of seconds and breathe in a few deep breaths. We’re here with his family. Nothing will happen. I’m safe, I repeat again and again, but it does little for my racing heart or the shaking of my hands.

  Squaring my shoulders, I wash my hands, just to waste a little more time before trying to walk back to the table with my head high, like a woman who’s in control.

  The situation around the table is much the same as when I left. David and Gareth are still focused on anything but the people around them, and Lynn is looking at Griff like he’s just hung the moon, which is a joke, because what he’s doing in reality is scratching his forearms, looking like the junkie that he is. She seems totally oblivious and I feel anger start to lick at my insides.

  “Ah, Olivia, I thought we were going to have to send a search party. Are you ready to order?”

  “Yes.”

  Lynn waves the waitress over and, once everyone is distracted, I feel his hand brush my thigh. My already tense body jolts and I bump into David—not that he notices.

  “I thought you’d run,” he whispers, his voice and the look in his eyes making me want to get far away from this place and never return.

  Thankfully, he pulls his hand back and I feel like I can breathe in a little air.

  “How was your friend’s engagement party the other week?” Lynn asks, turning to me as I push pasta around my plate. Any appetite I did have vanished the second Griff walked in.

  The mention of the party has images in my head that I don’t need. Nicole’s concerned face every time she tries to dig into my life. Liam’s dark eyes as he stared down at me in Nic’s guest bed like he was barely holding himself back.

  My cheeks heat at the thought and I chastise myself. I’m with my boyfriend. I almost laugh out loud at how ridiculous I sound.

  “It was…fine,” I eventually say.

  She tries digging a little more and I give her as little information as I can. I’m aware Griff’s listening to everything, and I have no intention of giving him any information on my friends. He treats his family bad enough; I can’t imagine what he’d do to strangers.

  Other than her incessant questions, everyone is deadly silent. Gareth is on his fourth or fifth pint, and David switched his Coke to something stronger a while ago, even though he promised me he’d stay off it today. I feel like I’m sat in the middle of a very bad soap opera, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved in my life when our dessert plates are cleared away.

  “Excuse me,” I say, once again getting up to use the toilet.

  I do what I need to do and leave as soon as possible, knowing this torture is almost over. I want to get out of here and away from him. I can still feel his stares over the table while we were eating.

  Pulling the door open, I go to march down the narrow hallway to get the hell out of here when I crash into someone. The smell is my first clue, so I’m not surprised when I glance up into his evil eyes.

  “All in good time, Olivia.” His eyes bore into me as he grips my upper arms so tightly I know they’re going to bruise.

  “Get off me,” I snap, trying to free my arms, but all it achieves is him tightening his grip. His eyes burn with desire the more I fight, and I know I’ve made a mistake. This is what he loves.

  “I’ll be seeing you very soon,” he promises, his voice deep and husky with lust.

  Pushing me away from him, I go crashing into the wall. Pain burns through my shoulder where I collide with a large picture frame, and tears sting my eyes, but when I look up, he’s gone. It’s almost as if it didn’t happen. But I know it did, and I also know he’s going to make good on that promise.

  “Liv, are you okay?” Lynn asks, sounding concerned when I make it back to the table. I don’t want to know what I look like right now. I just need to get out of here.

  “I’m not feeling great.”

  “Oh no, do you think it was something you ate?”

  “I’m not sure. I really could do with getting home, though. David?” I nudge his shoulder and he mumbles something in response before getting up and walking towards the door.

  “Griff had to go, he had a thing. He said to tell you that it
was lovely to see you,” Lynn says sweetly, like it was the most thoughtful thing she’s ever heard.

  I nod as I roll my eyes. He had a thing. I guess that’s her way of saying he had to go and shoot up.

  We say quick goodbyes before I help to get a once again drunk David into my car before slamming my foot on the accelerator and speeding towards our flat.

  I leave him in the passenger seat. He should be big enough to look after himself, although if he pukes in my car, I’m going to be seriously pissed off.

  Running up the stairs, I make quick work of unlocking the front door and marching straight towards the bedroom. I slam the door behind me and flick the lock that I fitted a few weeks ago in case I needed it.

  I collapse onto the bed and allow everything to flow out of me. The fear, the disgust, the total disbelief that I allow myself to continue with this charade even though I know deep down that it’s never going to end well.

  I’ve no idea how long I lay there and cry, but eventually, I hear movement out in the flat before someone tries the door handle.

  My heart jumps into my throat. When he said he’d see me soon, he really meant it. I would have put money on him waiting a few days just so I’ll be on edge.

  “Liv, it’s me,” I hear David say softly. “I’m sorry,” he admits. There’s a thud—I guess his forehead against the door.

  I don’t respond. I don’t really have anything I want to say to him.

  “Liv, please. I need to see you.”

  Letting out a long breath, I drag my weary body from the bed and unlock the door. When I pull it open, the sight of him makes my heart ache. He looks utterly defeated.

  Stepping forward, he forces the door wider before pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I do the same, but he doesn’t feel the way I remember. He was always on the leaner side, but now, he’s just skinny. He definitely doesn’t smell like he used to, that’s for sure.

  “I’m sorry,” he breathes, his face tucked into my neck, and his breath tickles over my skin. I feel nothing. An image of dark eyes and dark hair once again pops into my mind. I try to banish it but he’s there, taunting me. If it were him holding me like this, I know I’d have a different reaction. I feel awful. I shouldn’t be thinking about him.

  He eventually pulls back but he doesn’t let me go. Instead, he grabs my hand in his and pulls me gently towards the bed. I sit myself beside him but continue to look ahead as I wait for whatever it is he wants to say.

  “You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?”

  My eyes snap to his with surprise. It’s the first time he’s acknowledged that there’s an issue here.

  “I…uh…”

  “Please, Liv. I promise to sort myself out. I know I’ve been a mess, but I need you. I’m not sure I can do this without you.”

  My chin drops at his admission. I wasn’t aware that my presence here was really having any effect on him. I hoped I was helping but I had my doubts. But hearing him say those words isn’t making me feel any better. They’re actually doing the exact opposite. If he knows how bad things are, then he also knows he’s been doing absolutely nothing to make any of it better. I guess I hoped that he was so far down the rabbit hole he didn’t see any of this, but he does, and he allows it to continue.

  “Please. Please don’t leave me. I won’t make it without you.” He pulls me against him once again, and his heat is anything but comforting. I allow him to take what he needs, but it’s not easy—all I want to do is throw him off me and run. Run as far away from all this bullshit as I can.

  Chapter Five

  Olivia

  “Olivia, please could you come into my office?” My boss shouts over when I put the phone down. Dread fills my stomach, but I fight it as I push my chair out behind me and begin walking towards him. “Take a seat,” he says after gesturing for me to do so.

  My pulse hammers as I wait for the words I know are about to come.

  “I’m sorry, Olivia. Your performance hasn’t improved since our last meeting. We’re going to have to let you go.”

  “But—”

  “I really am very sorry. I think we both know this place isn’t really for you,” he says, his eyes flicking out towards the others in the call centre.

  He couldn’t be saying truer words, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need this shitty job. It’s the only thing keeping the roof over our heads right now. David bailed on his job months ago and hasn’t contributed towards anything since.

  After politely thanking him for the opportunity, I collect the few things I have at my desk and do the walk of shame out of the office. A few people look up and give me sympathetic smiles, but I haven’t really gone out of my way here to make friends, so most of them totally ignore me.

  I’m composed until I close the car door behind me. Slamming my palms down on my steering wheel, I scream into the emptiness as my frustration with life begins to get the better of me.

  I’ve got nothing saved up. Every penny I had has gone towards living the past few months. I’ll be fucked if I’m going to go running to my parents for a hand out. As far as they’re concerned, my life is just peachy.

  Once I’ve allowed myself a few minutes to wallow in self-pity, I start the engine and begin the drive home. I know I shouldn’t, but when I spot the corner shop in the distance, I pull over and treat myself to a bottle of wine and a bar of chocolate. I shouldn’t be spending money but I need something, anything, to make life feel just a little bit better.

  Pulling up into my space, I grab my stuff and head into the depressing building. As usual, I don’t see another living person. If it wasn’t for all the noise, I’d swear we lived here alone.

  Every time I climb these stairs, it gets harder and harder to muster up the energy. My eyes run over the same graffiti I see every day as the putrid scent fills my nose. Being unemployed and unable to afford even this shithole now makes me see it in an even worse light than usual.

  The light flickers above me as I slide the key into the lock. Feeling a little uneasy, I risk a look over my shoulder, but the place is deserted. I’m just being paranoid, and I’m frustrated that it’s exactly what he wants.

  I’m slipping my shoes off as I push the door closed when it happens. It swings open and, in seconds, his hands are on me. The sound of smashing glass fills my ears before I hear him whisper, “Surprise.”

  Bile burns my throat as he holds me against him. One of his hands is around my throat and the other around my waist, stopping me from moving.

  He kicks the door closed but I don’t hear the bang; panicked white noise is the only thing filling my ears as he pushes me towards the living room. His hardness pressing against my arse has me retching.

  “Get the hell off me,” I scream as he forces me to a stop in front of the sofa.

  “Shut the fuck up, bitch. I know you’ve been waiting for this.” His hips roll against me and I thrash about, desperately trying to get anything to connect with him, to hurt him, to distract him.

  The hand around my throat squeezes to the point my vision starts to blur at the edges, and I begin to lose my fight. Every time he came here and I fought him, I knew I was only putting off the inevitable, but now it’s happening, I can feel my fight, my strength, draining from me.

  “I’ve bided my time. I’ve waited until the perfect opportunity,” he slurs in my ear, “And I think today’s the day. It’s just a shame that little cunt isn’t here to watch.”

  I try to scream but his dirty hand covers my mouth. I drag in as much air as I can through my nose while I have the chance.

  “Shut the fuck up,” he barks, although I don’t think he really means it. He wants me to fight him.

  All of a sudden, I’m moving, spinning and pushed up against the wall. His free hand tugs the top of my shirt harshly. Buttons ping off in all directions and his eyes darken as he takes in my lace bra. His tongue licks over his bottom lip.

  I fight.

  My arms fly towards his face an
d I manage to get a few hits and scratches in before his fist collides with my cheek. Burning pain radiates out from my eye socket and it feels immediately tight, like it’s started swelling.

  I launch myself at him, but he easily overpowers me and it’s only seconds before he has me pinned to the floor. His hands encase my wrists and his thighs keep my legs from moving.

  “You’re a fucking monster,” I shriek, but the only effect it has is to turn him on. His eyes blaze, pure evil mixed with unbidden lust. Anger burns through me that I’ve allowed myself to get in this situation. His breath comes out in ragged pants and his spit lands on me with each one.

  We’re in a deadlock as we stare at each other. That is, until there’s a noise at the front door and David comes stumbling in with a bag full of bottles.

  “Fuck. Shit. Fuck,” he mutters, standing in the doorway, looking down at both of us.

  “David, please.” I beg. “Do something.”

  As I watch him, I know my pleading is going to go unheard, because I can see his walls coming down. Every time Griff’s around, he pulls this mask on and it’s like it stops him seeing and reacting to what’s happening.

  “David,” I scream.

  Griff’s delight that his brother isn’t going to do anything is just what I need, because he releases my wrist and I get another go at his face. My nails drag down his cheek and I feel his skin collect.

  “Bitch,” he roars before I feel his retaliation. My jaw snaps to the side and blood trickles down my chin.

  “David,” I sob, my body exhausted. Weeks of fear and looking over my shoulder have caught up with me as I lay here, trapped under the reason for my torment.

  “That pussy’s not going to help. He’s going to watch, aren’t you?” he taunts, risking a look over his shoulder. “You remember last time, bro? Wasn’t that fun? At least this one’s my type.”

  I watch the blood drain out of David’s face before he turns and runs, dropping the bag. The bottles fall. Some roll across the floor in our direction, others smash, and the smell of alcohol fills the room.