by Amy Richie
Chapter Thirty-Six
Standing My Ground
"Bella," I whispered when I could breathe again.
She inhaled deeply, the veins in her neck popping out. "It's good to see you, Willow," she lied.
"You, too," I lied back.
In her own way, Bella was always good to Ivy and me. She made sure we were safe and had what we needed. She was never the type to bake cookies and don a white apron, but she did her best. But those weren't the things I saw when I looked at her now. I noticed the way her eyes strayed hungrily behind me. She wanted my pack, and I wasn't going to let that happen.
"Where's Ivy?" I asked.
"She's safe."
"Are you here to try and take my pack?"
Her eyes swung back to me, opened slightly wider. "You didn't want them."
I do now. "Where is your pack?"
"We're joining both packs." She shrugged as if the solution should be obvious to everyone. There were no sounds from the pack; this was my fight - no matter what they wanted.
Bella's eyes darted again and again to Gage who was still standing almost in front of me. I realized suddenly that she knew exactly who he was. "Have you met Gage, Bella?" I asked with thick sweetness. I pulled him closer to me. He obliged without comment.
Blake started to laugh but was cut short by a glare from Bella. "Hello, Gage," she greeted icily.
"Hello … Bella. Might I know your true name?"
Her nostrils flared but she recovered quickly. "And might I know yours?" she seethed kindly.
"I think you already know who I am."
"Maybe I do," she acknowledged. "Does she?" She didn't look at me but I knew who she was talking about.
"He's told me everything," I told her, not wanting to betray Gage. I would just have to pretend that it didn't bother me that he was Mikhaul.
"He told you his true name?"
She turned her icy glare on me; the one that used to make me squirm until I told her all she wanted to know. That glare had once discovered Ivy's secret stash of tiny underwear. Bella had absolutely forbid us to wear anything so provocative but of course Ivy couldn't resist. She swore me to secrecy but I couldn't fight the glare.
"He did." Hopefully I sounded like a grown up.
"That he is Mikhaul?"
If she hoped to surprise me it didn't work, but the boys behind me hadn't known. There was a rustle of whispers among them. Gage spared them a single look but it wasn't exactly the time to be hugging it out.
"Yeah," I replied in the same pinched voice. I suddenly wanted to push Gage away from me but I was afraid that would seem kind of obvious.
"Sometimes, Willow," she began in a soft voice, "I feel like I wasted my time with you."
Shame filled me. The kind of shame only a parent can inflict, a disappointed parent. I felt a burning in the back of my throat but I couldn't give in to it. Bella always knew how to make me weak. I couldn't let her get in my head now.
"I'm sorry you feel that way." I tried to look at her but failed miserably.
"What kind of mess have you made here?"
I glanced guiltily around me. The boys all watched me intently for the tiniest hint of taking action against these two intruders. Gage watched me anxiously, probably waiting for tears. And there was Carlie in the background, also watching me, fear prominent in her green orbs. I felt a childish urge to scream at all of them to quit looking at me, it wasn't like I knew what the hell I was doing.
"We're fine; great even."
"I have heard rumors, Willow, nasty rumors."
She had heard about Steven, my breath was far too shallow for normal words. "Small towns are ripe with rumors," I flatly recited something she had often told me.
"Yes, they are. Which is why our kind have to be extra careful."
I nodded; I already knew that. "We are," I breathed.
Her eyebrows arched dangerously. "By allowing a human to join the pack?"
"She's not … "
"By letting one of your own be seen?"
"It was just an accident."
She took a step towards me. "And what about the one that was killed?"
"He's not dead."
"But you allowed him to be seen, too. Didn't you, Willow?" Her voice rose in volume as she took another step in my direction.
"We … um … " I couldn't back away from her with the boys pressing in behind me, my shoulders tensed up with the urge to bolt.
"You what, Willow?" she sneered.
"I just meant that we're … getting ready to … " I tried to swallow but my mouth was too dry and my throat was too swollen.
"I think what you mean to say is that you failed." She stopped just a few inches from me, her face pinched in loathing. "Isn't that right, Willow?"
Every word she said seemed to shrink me until I was seven years old again. I wanted to cry; throw myself at her. Maybe she would gather me up like she used to and tell me what I had done wrong. She could tell me how she would have done things if it were her pack.
The things I had been fearing but not saying out loud were all there in her eyes and the way she watched me. I couldn't lead a pack, I just wasn't good enough. I was just going to fail them and in my failure they would be ruined, too. The boys would be so much better without me. Bella could lead them, she would do so much better than me.
I couldn't say any of this out loud, of course, my throat was closed off. But Bella saw it in my eyes and her lips turned up into a greedy smile.
What would happen to me after I left the pack? I wouldn't be able to stay, obviously, but maybe I could stay close enough to watch them from a distance. Carlie and I could travel together. We could follow them; because Carlie wouldn't be able to stay either. If Bella even let her live, that is. Once she was their true leader she could make them kill Carlie. My heart broke a little more at the thought.
Then suddenly something happened behind me. I felt someone's breath on my neck and someone pushed their hand against the small of my back. Tiny gestures to remind me they were all behind me; both physically and any other way I needed them.
A warmth started in my back where someone was touching me and spread rapidly throughout my entire body; all the way to the tips of my fingers. I realized with a sudden clarity worthy of an epiphany that I belonged with my pack - no matter how badly I failed.
And they wanted me with them. That was the best part, the part that made tears spring to my eyes. My boys wouldn't trade me for Bella.
"We've made mistakes," I acknowledged firmly, "but they aren't fatal." Sensing the change in me, the boys' excitement grew. They whispered loudly behind me but I didn't stop to listen. Even Gage seemed excited, although he was still watching Bella.
"You are too young to lead this pack," Bella tried to change tactics.
"We'll learn together," I took a step to meet her but she took a step back. "And soon we'll be the strongest pack there ever was." Bella took another step back. "That's what she wanted, isn't it?"
"She?"
"Noreen." Bella's lip curled up and Blake snarled at the name. "She wanted us to be the strongest but only so she could use us." My voice gained momentum as Bella paled further. "And the council wants us to be strong so they can use us as weapons, too. But you know what?"
I looked back at the boys, really seeing them for the first time since Bella had shown up. They nodded their heads as one, already agreeing with whatever plans I had for them. I turned back to Bella, who had gone strangely quiet.
"We're not going to be used by anyone." I arched one eyebrow, immensely proud of my pack that everyone seemed to think they could boss around. "This is my pack and you're not welcome here Bella."
"Your pack?" Blake laughed loudly, the sound making the hairs on my arm stand up.
"Yeah, they are."
"This is Noreen's pack."
"Noreen is dead."
"How dare you!" Bella lunged forward but stopped short of actually touching me. "You will show some respect," she screeched.
>
"I have already told you nicely to leave." I wasn't experienced in making threats but I hoped that one was pretty clear.
"You are the one who will be leaving tonight," Blake called in a manic sing-song voice.
"I'm not going anywhere." I folded my arms across my chest and glared at Bella.
