Everett went about stabling the beasts, handing her the tack and telling her where to store each piece. “Over there you’ll find their feed. One scoop for each.” Everett rubbed down the oxen.
After hanging the bridles, Julia grabbed the scoop and distributed the food. She knew she should talk to him now, while they were alone, but her tongue glued itself to the roof of her mouth. How could she be sure his decision would be based on wholesome reasons when she knew so little about him, when so few words had passed between them?
“Everett . . .” She stopped him before he exited the barn.
His silhouette turned at the door and brought its arms in, fusing into the blackness.
“How did the fencing go?”
“Good.”
“Did you get anything else done?”
“No.”
She played with the button at her collar. “Are you staying for supper?”
“Yes, I brought my horse.”
She let out a breath. Maybe he’d loosen up at the supper table surrounded with his friends. “You have a horse?”
“Yes.”
“I wonder why I haven’t seen it before.” If he wasn’t going to give her more than a word or two, she was going to have to drag him into a conversation. “What color is it?”
“Black.”
“I always wanted a pony. One Christmas Father promised me anything, but when I asked for a pony, he didn’t keep his word.” She shrugged. “Always wanted a white one.”
Everett strolled in from the doorway and toward the glow of the lantern. He leaned against a post. “So your father didn’t get you a pony?”
She shook her head. Was his tone mocking her? Maybe ponies were looked down upon here. Her heartbeat placed pressure against her rib cage. “Do you think I might . . . be able to find a white horse?”
“You need a horse?”
“I don’t know if I need a horse.” How could she know what was a want and what was a need on the prairie? “Maybe I need a horse.” Her dry throat demanded moisture before she could push out her next words. “Wouldn’t your wife need a horse?”
Everett’s eyes closed. He opened one eye before the second one revealed itself. “Um . . . that is to say . . . maybe a second horse would be needed. Would make the trip to Salt Flatts faster. And smoother.” He rubbed his chin. “Anywhere, in fact.”
“Julia?” Rachel’s voice called through the doorway. “Everett?”
“In here.” She returned the scoop to the feed bucket. Just when he’d let go of a complete stream of words, they got interrupted. But hopefully, that feeble start would untie his tongue at the dinner table and in turn her own.
Rachel walked in wiping her hands on her apron and stopped beside Everett. “Are you two finished yet? Dinner’s ready.”
“Yes, but I want to bring in Blaze first.” Everett let his gaze wander over Julia’s face for a second before leaving the barn.
Rachel turned to examine her, a sparkle in her hazel eyes. “Were you two talking?”
“Sort of.”
“Sort of?” Rachel tilted her head to the side.
He was about to talk until you appeared. “Well, he doesn’t exactly talk much. It’s difficult to get more than two consecutive words from him.”
Rachel’s right eyebrow went up. “Two words?”
“That’s what I said.” Julia huffed. “Are you having difficulty hearing today?”
“Sorry.” Rachel set her hands on her hips. “I just haven’t known Everett to be quiet before.”
“That’s all he is with me.”
“His tongue’s just knotted up over your pretty face.” Rachel’s features softened. “I’m sure with time his words will come. Well, as much as a man is capable of talking. Sometimes I wish Dex would talk more, but it just doesn’t happen.” She squeezed Julia’s shoulder. “That’s why I have enjoyed your company so.” She stooped to look into her eyes. “There isn’t anything else bothering you about him, is there?”
Julia played with her dress’s shoulder seam. “If I could just be assured we’d get along and he’d . . . I need to make up my mind one way or the other. I’m grateful for your hospitality, but I’ve got to decide what I’m doing. I can’t stay here indefinitely.”
Rachel’s smile flipped down. “It is a bit crowded.”
She mentally surveyed her assets again, hoping she’d missed something. “I don’t have the money to go home even if I wanted to. And I can’t stay here much longer.”
Rachel laid a hand on her shoulder. “You’re welcome here as long as you need.”
“Thanks.” She squeezed Rachel’s plump hand. “But I know it’s time to go, like I knew it was time to leave home. I just need to do it.” She pushed dirty hay around with her foot, then looked into Rachel’s soft eyes. “You sure he’d do right by me . . . be kind? Do I even know enough to help him run a farm?” She shook her head. The Stantons had only assigned her a bit of the farm chores, and all of them normally reserved for the children.
Rachel’s face turned tender. “I’m positive. You two will do just fine.”
“It’s just . . . never mind. I’ve never been wanted for anything other than my looks. Theodore . . . only found my face worthwhile for his wants.” She thumped her chest. “I didn’t want to be a pawn for profit or some man’s whim. I couldn’t stay there and work for nothing and be some man’s toy. I want so much more from life.” Tears spilled over her cheeks. How she wished she could tell Rachel all that had happened, but the shame when those images returned made her hold her tongue. If she couldn’t tell Rachel, she couldn’t tell Everett. What would he think of her when she laid down her stipulations for getting married?
Rachel slipped her arm around her slumped shoulders. “No use dwelling on something that won’t happen. Put it behind you and look forward.” She smiled.
The barn door opened. Everett tipped his hat and led his horse around them.
While he talked to his horse in soft tones, Everett brushed out the animal. Julia’s heart squeezed in time with his quick rhythm. Soon, she’d see if he’d have her. If not, where would she go?
———
Everett had left the women in the barn so he could grab his horse, Julia’s words bouncing around in his skull.
“Wouldn’t your wife need a horse?”
Everett patted Blaze’s neck, the wind blowing the gelding’s mane into his face. “How would you like a buddy, ol’ boy?”
The horse nickered as it swung its neck around to sniff him.
“I might have to buy you one for my wife.”
My wife.
His heartbeat soared like the clouds racing across the dull sky. He’d distanced himself, waiting for the inevitable pain of being abandoned once again, but it looked like God wasn’t bound and determined to make him live his whole life alone. And with a girl prettier than any he’d ever dreamed of. Patricia had been pretty, but not gorgeous, and she’d never really wanted to be his wife. It ended up that she was stringing him along, waiting for a wealthier fellow to marry.
He unwound the tether and tugged on Blaze’s harness. “Let’s get you inside and stabled so I can have dinner with my intended.” His lungs emptied. He stopped for a second and took in a cool sip of fresh air. No more needing to guard his feelings in case she left. Tonight he’d get to know her as well as possible, for it couldn’t be long before she’d want to marry and move out of the Stantons’ barn.
He pushed on the barn door, but stopped at the sound of Julia’s expressive voice.
“. . . the money to go home even if I wanted to. And I can’t stay here much longer.”
“You’re welcome here as long as you need.”
“Thanks. But I know it’s time to go, like I knew it was time to leave home. I just need to do it.”
Everett retracted his hand as if the door had singed his fingers.
He turned to a nearby bucket, his foot poised to kick it across the yard, but he stopped mid-swing. That would alert the women
to his nearby presence. He ground a patch of grass into the dirt instead. “Fool!” he hissed. “I should have stuck to my guns and said ‘no more’ to this wife nonsense.”
Blaze nuzzled him.
He exhaled slowly before he calmed enough to talk to his horse. “Wanting oats, eh? Well, you’ll have to wait until we get home. I’ve got to suffer through dinner with her first. But I won’t be long.” He strangled the leads in his hand. “I want to get home as quickly as you do.” At least he wouldn’t be the only one disgraced this time. Perhaps Axel and his crowd wouldn’t increase their mean-spirited teasing since their leader would share in the humiliation.
He stepped to the door and pushed it over the dirt bump, wishing he had ignored the invitation to dinner.
“I couldn’t stay there and work for nothing and be some man’s toy. I want so much more from life.”
“No use dwelling on something that won’t happen. Put it behind you and look forward.”
How humiliating to listen to Rachel encourage the friend she’d set him up with to leave him.
Julia’s face searched his for a moment before he forced his eyes away. The less he looked at her the better. Another teasing woman. Why did God bless some women with mouth-watering features if they only used their looks to get men to do whatever they wanted with no intention of reciprocation? He felt like a chewed-up dog bone.
He took his time tethering Blaze in an empty stall, giving the horse a good rubdown until he heard both sets of footsteps exit the barn. He patted Blaze’s neck. “I’ll be back soon. I promise, boy.” But his feet wouldn’t move. He couldn’t stay for dinner. He had to make an excuse.
Chapter 6
Julia gripped the reins of the Stantons’ wagon as the wheels crunched over the dirt tracks on the outskirts of Everett’s property. The man was either shy or noncommittal, and she intended to find out which. He’d left the Stantons’ with barely a good-bye minutes after she’d mentioned becoming his wife. Was he going to marry her or not? She had bullied Dex into letting her tag along with him and the boys this morning. Today would either be her last trip to Everett’s or the first of many.
“Give them more slack,” Dex said.
She relaxed her trembling grip.
“I do believe we’ve made it safe and sound. You sure you haven’t driven a team before?”
Her smirk twisted. The animals did most of the work, but she doubted she could handle them without his help if they got upset. “We have a ways to go before we reach the house.”
“You’ll do fine. You’ve done perfectly so far.”
A satisfied bubble filled her. Almost crowding out the jitters. The Stantons thought she was ready for farm life, but did Everett?
“I’m glad you came to cook.” William popped up from the back and let out a groan. “But I can’t wait. The smell of that apple pie is calling to me something fierce. My stomach’s been grumbling the whole way over.”
“Me too.” John grabbed his stomach and hunched over the front seat. “I’m near starving.”
“You’re in bad shape, then.” Dex pushed John’s head full of thick hair playfully to the side. “We’ve got hours of mending fence before lunch.”
“And I won’t be serving that pie until dinner.”
William and John moaned, causing her to smile.
Everett’s barn, barely illuminated by the dim morning light, loomed in front of them. Wonder washed over her. The new structure dominated the landscape. And she had played a part in that construction. She examined her gloveless hands, no longer white and soft. How right to use them for creation and artistry, the construction of buildings, the making of garments. A little rivulet of pride tingled down her back. The male conversations she’d overheard in her father’s store flowed in from memory. The desire to go west and build an existence from nothing made sense now. It was a heady thing.
Everett pushed backward through the barn doors, a bucket in each hand.
“Good morning, Everett,” Dex bellowed. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Stop the wagon next to the barn. We’ll put the oxen in the new paddock.”
Nervous that the huge animals wouldn’t respond to her light feminine voice, she kept the team headed in Everett’s direction with a firm hand.
He turned toward the wagon, set a bucket down, and shaded his eyes from the sun, which was growing brighter every second. “Good morning, Dex.”
If her hands weren’t busy holding the reins, she’d cross her fingers. Now it was time to see if the creatures would obey. “Whoa!”
“Rachel?” Everett squinted up at the wagon seat.
The team halted nice and easy, and she let out her breath. “No. It’s me, Julia.” She couldn’t see his eyes, but sensed he wasn’t pleased. The same glare he’d given her last night when he said he couldn’t stay cut through her.
“You drove?”
“Yes, it was great fun.” The oxen tugged gently on the reins as they ate the grass within reach. She released the leather straps.
Everett ran his hand through his hair. “But . . . what—”
“I’m here to cook. Dex said you could finish today, so I came to serve lunch.” She jumped down, not waiting for him to assist her, and took a step toward him. “I want to help.”
“It’s worth it, Everett,” William said, rubbing his belly. “She made an apple pie.” The young man handed her the basket, but when she tugged at it, he wouldn’t let go. She shook her head at his grin.
Everett cleared his throat. “I’ve got to get these inside. Excuse me.” He picked his buckets off the ground and scurried toward the cabin.
John jumped over the wagon’s side and ran after Everett’s black-and-white dog, Merlin, while Dex and William took care of the oxen.
When would be the best time to ask him? Perhaps she should take advantage of the fact that he was alone. Who knew how often that would happen today? She entered the cabin and peeked around the open door, its hinge still loose.
Everett put his buckets down and walked to the window. He leaned his forearm against the pane, followed by his forehead.
She cleared her throat.
He jumped, then straightened to his full height. “Sorry, I best get back out there.”
Her heart kathumped at the sound of his dejection. She tried to catch a glimpse of his eyes as he passed, but he’d pulled his hat brim low, and the cabin shadows kept her from seeing anything.
She reached out her hand and grasped a bit of his shirt sleeve. Now might not be the best time, but now was what she had. “Can I have a word with you, Everett?” Seeing his form stiffen, she let go. “Later, I mean. Would later be better? After lunch?”
“Sure.” He fidgeted with the door handle as if he were only waiting for a starting gun to fire before racing to the fence line.
When she nodded, he slipped out the door.
She grabbed a bucket and followed him out but veered off toward the well. How could he be afraid of her? She wasn’t even tall enough to see over his shoulder. Maybe he wanted to back out and didn’t know how to tell her. Well, he’d have the chance this afternoon.
The men laughed as they headed off into the pasture, their implements and posts loaded in Everett’s smaller wagon. They disappeared in the direction Dex had told her they’d be working. She pushed a sense of foreboding away.
Heart tangled in knots, she debated again the wisdom of her choice.
She pulled in a steadying breath. Living near Rachel trumped her other alternatives. And she’d trust her friend not to lead her astray. And a man who wanted to run any time she appeared would be less apt to bother her for marital favors. At least not right away.
Her fingers played with the loose strands of hair at her neckline. Could she face that in her future? With him? She looked at the horizon, but the men had already disappeared behind a stand of trees. His behavior might be odd, but something in the way he looked at her made her confident he’d respect her wishes, unlike most men she’d met. Tremors still coursed thro
ugh her limbs when she sensed his admiring glances, but neither did she fear for her safety. He was the kind of man she would have chosen, before Theodore. . . .
She needed something to do. Right now.
At the table, she unpacked the basket. A pile of dirty plates and an empty kettle lay haphazardly on the small bit of counter space. Cobwebs clung to the feet of the few furniture pieces in the tiny one-room shack. The small four-paned window would let in more light if she removed the caked-on dirt. She cinched her apron strings tight about her waist. If this would have to be her home until a new one was built, it might as well be clean.
Julia stopped quite a distance from where the men worked and set the milk jug and basket on the ground. Scrubbing Everett’s cabin had left her arms aching, and they begged for a rest from the weight of food. Her heart needed the rest too. It pumped so fast she was afraid it would burst.
Breathe, Julia. She forced herself to take in air. Nothing odd about bringing marriage up in conversation. That’s why he invited you to Kansas.
She hefted her items and moved toward John, who finished setting a wooden rail before running around William to push up the other end.
Why had she asked Everett to talk after lunch? Her cheeks burned. The Stantons would guess what the conversation was about when she asked him to take a walk with her. But it had to be today. No time to plan a more private interview.
She took a final big breath and marched within hearing distance. “All right, boys. I’ve brought lunch.”
“You brought us that pie?” John ran to her, his face glowing.
She couldn’t stop the tickle of a smile on her lips. “We should wait for dinner to eat pie, don’t you think?”
“I sure could eat it up right now, Miss Julia. Two pies, even.”
She handed him the food basket and ruffled his hair with her freed hand. “I don’t doubt that for a second.” She snatched the blanket off the top and scanned the area for shade. “But I’m sure you’ll survive on whatever meager portions I brought you.”
She flicked out the blanket as much as the wind allowed, then stomped on the dull red fabric to bend the grasses underneath. John jumped on it next to her and used his body as a rolling pin. When he deemed the blanket flat enough, she settled herself at a corner. He rolled over to her and stopped on his belly, his head resting in his hands.
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