Xio Li and Mei Mei left to return to their hut and Tanith stepped back into the house. Fiona was sitting by the fire pit, huddled down, her silver hair veiling her face. Tanith sought the words to comfort her, but found none. The best she had was the strength of her presence.
Fiona’s voice was so low, Tanith had to lean down to hear her. “I don’t want to be in this place anymore, I want to go home.” The words were said in a monotone and without inflection.
It would be hard to convince Fiona that this was an isolated incident, when Tanith knew otherwise. There was too much talk in the marketplace and hints from Siran to think otherwise. These were troubled times and only a fool would think otherwise.
“Tonight, I am going to ask Kellach again to take me from here, and I will ask him every day thereafter until he agrees.”
It was disturbing to hear her speak thus. Gone was the normal cheerful lilt that was so normal in her speech. Tanith could only hope that today’s events would fade. Fiona just needed time right now. She kissed Fiona on the brow and gathered her things.
“I am going home and try to calm Machar. Do you mind if I take Conan with us? I think it would help Machar to forget today if he had Conan to play with.”
Fiona did not look up, only nodded her assent. Tanith made one last check on Cyrnon. He was sleeping and, hopefully, he would do so until Kellach came home. Kellach would know how to handle this. Unsure of what else she could do, she patted Fiona gently and left, overcome by dread.
Fiona sat there for hours, the fight repeating itself over and over in her mind, like a never-ending horror film. Despair settled in and she wept. She was still sitting there, tears streaming down her face, when Kellach returned. He knew what had happened. Siran had caught him before he reached home. Awkwardly, he strained to find words to comfort her. Death was not unknown to him and he learned to accept it and move on, but Fiona was different. He did not know much about her beginnings, but he knew enough to understand that she had been protected from the harsher side of life. Brutality and death were foreign to her nature. His throat closed up and a weight settled in his chest. She had become so central to his life, and to see her so aggrieved caused him much pain.
“Fiona,” he whispered. “I am sorry you were so frightened.” She said nothing, only turning away from him. He knelt down beside her and reached for her hands, “Had I been there, I would have stopped the fighting. I would not have allowed Darragh to molest Mei Mei.” Her eyes would not meet his and he felt her withdrawal. She tried to pull her hands away, but he held on. “Darragh was a bully and it was only a matter of time before someone made an example of him. I am only sorry you were there to witness it.”
She slowly lifted her head, staring at him through eyes reddened from crying, dried tears streaking her cheeks. “Was that his name—Darragh?”
He nodded. “He won’t hurt Mei Mei ever again.”
“I want to go home,” she whimpered, looking away again. “I don’t want to stay in this place anymore. Please take me home.”
“I do not know where your home is. I would try but I don’t know where to go.”
“Just take me back to where you found me! At least there,” she pleaded.
“I told you, there is nothing there, just open spaces, nothing for as far as the eye can see.”
“I don’t care! I just want to go there. Perhaps there’s something you missed, something that only I would understand.”
“Believe me when I say, there is nothing there,” he said vehemently. “It would be futile to try.”
“Better that than to stay in this place. There is nothing for me here, and I can’t live this way. I can’t accept that life is so cheap. Life should mean more.” Tears fell from her eyes again and Kellach ached to draw her near.
He tightened his grip on her hands and forced her to look at him, “No one will hurt you. I won’t let them.” For the first time in his life, Kellach truly wanted a woman, this woman, for more than just a night’s pleasure. “Stay with me,” he pleaded, “take my hand and join with me. I will give you all that I have and I would care for you as no other.”
Fiona’s mind would not grasp what he was saying. “What…what did you say?”
“I asked you to stay with me, to join with me.”
Her red-rimmed eyes widened. “Are you saying what I think you are saying?”
“I am asking you to stay with me, to wed me, to be my bride,” he said earnestly. “I would provide for you and you would never want for anything.”
She jumped up and whirled away from him. “Don’t say that! I can’t marry you, I don’t belong here!” she cried. “If I married you, it would be as if I were admitting that I can never go home, and I won’t do that. I can’t do that.”
Back and forth she paced, wringing her hands in anguish. Kellach did the only thing he could think to do. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his heart where she belonged.
Held close in his arms, the steady beating of his heart soothed her with its rhythm and finally eased some of the anguish Fiona was drowning in. She felt safe and protected, and strange though it seemed, as though this was where she truly belonged.
He held her, rocking her slightly until the storm passed. Without thought, she raised her mouth to his, kissing him desperately, trying to erase the terrible images shattering her soul. Groaning, he ravaged her with his mouth, frantic with his desire to have all of her, wanting every part of her. He rained frenzied kisses down her throat to the hollow nestled at the base of her throat. Only now existed. All else fled in the wake of his fevered caresses and burgeoning desire. He burned with the need to totally possess her, to have her willingly open to him and return his passion with an ardor equaling his.
Kellach fought for control and reluctantly pushed her away. Now was not the time to press his will upon her. She was vulnerable and her vulnerability was not what he wanted. He wanted her wet and wanting, and knowing that only he could make her thus. When they joined, it would be for the right reasons, not because she was seeking solace from the dark invaders who wrecked havoc on her mind. Her eyes snapped open, surprise registering deep in their depths.
“We will continue this another time.” He inhaled deeply. “I would have you when your mind is free from all but what is between us.”
“What do you mean?”
“You seek to ease your pain, and while I would be happy to oblige, I want more than that from you.”
Viewed through a haze of desire, Fiona’s eyes mapped the contours of his face. Frustrated desire overlain with concern and compassion left their marks on his visage and she ached to smooth the lines away. He stepped back and moved away, putting distance between them. Bereft of his comfort, confusion and pain again assailed her.
“How is Cyrnon this day?” Kellach sought to distract her.
“I think better,” she responded softly. “He wants to go back to your mother’s house.”
“I am much better,” Cyrnon declared, “but I am ready to go home. I grow tired of pretending to be asleep so as not to disturb you again.”
A small glimmer of a smile quivered Fiona’s lips. “I didn’t know you were awake.”
“And how was I to sleep with all that noise you were making?” His eyes twinkled. “I do not enjoy being forced to watch certain things.”
Against her will, an embarrassed giggle bubbled up and escaped her lips. Kellach’s close comfort and the normalcy of his home had greatly eased the burden she suffered. “I don’t want you watching, either, some things are much better without an audience.”
“So you feel well enough to go home?” Kellach asked
“Yes, but I would welcome your help,” he said, attempting to stand on his own. Kellach strode over to him and lifted him easily. Fiona followed, moving objects and opening the door. They stepped out in to the swiftly approaching evening, and the promise of a bright and better day took form in the beauty of the coming sunset. Fiona’s steps lightened as they crossed the square to
Kellach’s parents. Tanith’s door opened and an ecstatic Conan dashed out, Machar following close behind. Siran and Tanith joined the group, their freely given warmth and love spread through her. Sheltered in the caring circle of these new friends, she felt the weight in her heart lessen. Tomorrow would be a better day.
Twenty-Six
For the next few weeks, each day was a repeat of the one before. Fiona returned to her own bed, but was comforted by the fact that Kellach was always near. Kellach would rise, eat, take care of his farming obligations and then train the new and seasoned soldiers until evening. She would cook, clean, work with her patients and, when Kellach returned home, would ask him to take her home. Each time his answer was the same—no, there was nothing there for her to see, and each time she vowed to try again.
On one such evening, Kellach took out an instrument from his coffer. It reminded her of a lute, having four strings and smaller than a guitar. He proceeded to play several haunting melodies while she listened. While he played, his mind drifted back to a conversation he had with Siran earlier in the day.
“How is your quest going to win Fiona’s heart?” Siran had asked.
“Not as well as I would have it. She wants me to take her back to where we found her. I have told her many times that there is nothing there, but she refuses to believe me. She thinks that by going back there, somehow she can return home.”
“What would make her believe that? There is nothing to be seen. I told her that as well.”
“No matter, she wants to go back and there is no lack of will to her stubbornness and determination.”
“So, take her back,” Siran said, as though such was easily undertaken.
“It is a long journey and we would not find what she seeks even were we to go.”
“If you want her—bargain with her. Tell her you will take her but when you return, she must agree to become your wife.”
“Bargain with her?”
“If you must. She is a woman. Give her what she wants but let her know you expect something in return.” He grinned, his merry eyes twinkling with glee. “Why do you think Tanith is so happy with me?”
“I think Tanith knows not what a villain you are,” he joked and shoved Siran away. “I do not think Fiona would agree to such a thing.”
“You won’t know until you try.”
No, he wouldn’t, Kellach admitted to himself as he played another melody, but how to go about trying.
It surprised Fiona that he was so talented, although, in all fairness, Tanith had already said so. This was the Ruan that Tanith had spoken of. When the last note had faded, he carefully wrapped the instrument up and returned it to the coffer.
“That was so wonderful! I had no idea you were so accomplished.”
“I am only a novice, though I enjoy playing from time to time.” He shrugged, downgrading his abilities.
“If you’re only a novice, then what would a master sound like? Thank you for playing for me.”
Smiling, he acknowledged her approval with a small bow. “Music fills a soul with love and lust.”
She laughed. “Love maybe, but lust?”
“Did you not lust for me while I was playing?”
“I just enjoyed the music. You play beautifully, nothing more. I certainly didn’t feel lust!”
He moved towards her, mindful of a cat stalking its prey. “Perhaps I didn’t try hard enough. Should I play some more?” He circled slowly until he was behind her. His hands moved to part the silken moonlit strands flowing down her back and lightly stroked the nape of her neck.
A shiver deliciously tickled its way down her back and every fiber of her being waited with anticipation for his next move. Her breath caught in her throat and her head dropped back to take pleasure in his touch.
Long sensuous fingers cupped her face. Her eyes closed and she reveled in the erotic sensation. His breath brushed her cheek as he bent to nuzzle her neck. Planting a kiss on her forehead, he moved in front of her and sat down on the rug near her feet. Lounging carelessly, he played with Conan, seemingly unconcerned that her heart was pounding and her breath was coming in short pants.
“Do your people bargain? Is that acceptable in your society?”
Did her people bargain?! How was she going to explain the mall during a year-end clearance sale? “There’s nothing my people like more than a good bargain,” she said, her suspicions suddenly on alert. “Why? What’s on your mind?”
“I have been considering a bargain with you, one that would be acceptable and beneficial to both of us.”
His casualness was too studied and there was more to this than he was telling. “Go on,” she replied. “I’m listening.”
He hesitated, as though choosing his words. “You want me to take you back to where I found you.”
She nodded.
“You also know I do not believe anything could come of this trip.”
Again she nodded, her interest perked.
“But I am willing to make the journey on one condition,” he paused. Seconds ticked by and Fiona strained to hear his next comments.
“What condition is that?” she burst out. “What do you want from me?”
Gone was the casual byplay, his golden eyes bored into hers. “When we do not find what you seek and we return, you will join with me and become my wife.” He stated it bluntly, without pretense.
Fiona looked down at her hands, considering his offer. He was offering her the chance to return home and in return, if that did not happen, she would become his wife. She kept her eyes downcast, not wanting him to see the elation she was experiencing. It was a win-win situation. If she found what she was looking for, she would be home and this would be behind her. If she didn’t find the door home, she would be stuck in this time and what better way to spend her time here than as Kellach’s wife? Not a bad end if that was the result.
Instead of agreeing too quickly, she countered. “Why can’t I just pay you? I’ve been saving—I have some money.”
“I have no need of your money. I have more than enough already. I’ve stated my terms. Take them or not. It is your choice.”
Taking her time, she gave the impression she was seriously considering. Finally, clearing her throat, she responded. “I accept your bargain on one condition. I have to be sure that you will put forth every effort to take me exactly to the place where you originally found my tracks. That is where I have to go. If you can agree to that, my answer is ‘yes’.”
Kellach let out his breath, unaware that he had been holding it, so tense was he awaiting her reply. It was done, the bargain was made and the terms were set. All that remained now was the doing.
“We will leave tomorrow or perhaps the day after, as soon as we can get everything assembled. Winter approaches and we must make haste or the weather will prevent our passage. I have calculated two days hard travel there, three days searching and two days return travel. It will be an arduous journey, but I will take you.”
“I will be ready,” she promised, “nothing will stop me.”
“Are you sure this is what you wish to do? It will be dangerous and I cannot guarantee your safety.”
“You would not let any harm come to me, I know that.” She felt totally safe with that statement. His skill as a warrior was the topic of many stories in the marketplace and few men did not fear him.
“Be ready then. Pack enough provisions for twelve days in the event we are delayed. I will see to the animals and men to accompany us.”
One last thing needed to be settled. “Do I have to ride that nasty pony of Tanith’s. He hates me!”
Kellach burst out laughing. “I think I can find a more suitable mount. That nasty animal was Tanith’s when she was younger and he dislikes anyone but her.”
“And she knew that, didn’t she? I’ll have to have a word with Tanith about her mischief.” Amusement lifted Fiona’s lips. Tanith might be the best friend she had here, but she was also a minx when it came to practical jokes.
&
nbsp; Kellach prepared to retire. “You best get some rest. Tomorrow will be a busy day and there is much to do.” He dropped to his bed was soon snoring softly.
Fiona rested for a few minutes, relieved that she’d finally convinced Kellach to take her back, and if everything went well, she could be home in less than a week. An unexpected spasm of pain shot through her. Kellach’s face was turned towards her, peaceful in sleep. There would be no taking Kellach with her into the future. His place was here and this is where he belonged. He would never fit into her world and she would not try to make him. Why did that make her feel so miserable? Leaving here was what she wanted, wasn’t it? But leaving Kellach was going to hurt a lot more than she cared to admit. Crossing the room to her little corner, she found herself wanting to turn and lie down beside him and do all the things she could only imagine. Shaking off such thoughts, she snuggled down and listened to Kellach’s sounds—long into the night.
Twenty-Seven
Preparations were rushed and on the morning of the second day, everyone gathered for their departure. Fiona’s nerves were stretched to the breaking point. So much to do in such a short time, and then there was the never-ending fear that the trip would be fruitless. Looking forward with trepidation, she fluctuated from being ecstatic that Kellach had finally relented and sad at leaving everyone should she find what she sought.
On the previous evening, Tanith, Siran and Machar had come over to bid her farewell. Machar was especially concerned about Conan’s well-being.
“Will you take Conan home with you?” His distress was evident on his little face.
She had given some serious thought to this dilemma. “I was going to ask you—would you be willing to take care and love Conan if I don’t come back?”
He nodded solemnly. “I will be the best friend he ever has.”
A lump formed in her throat. “I knew I could count on you.” She had already discussed the matter with Tanith and it was agreed that if Machar wanted to take over Conan’s care, Tanith would not disagree.
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