Kataomoi

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Kataomoi Page 10

by Hildred Billings


  Aiko was the first to embrace it.

  I did what I had to do. At the time it had been only a nuisance – Reina hadn’t loved Mio outside of her passionate lovemaking. But lots of women were passionate in the bedroom. Aiko, for one. But the more Reina sat on the train to work and thought about it, the more she wondered if she should have said something other than, “This isn’t working out. Bye.”

  A yawn snapped her out of her dark imagery. This would be the first day in which she went to work early. She checked her watch. “Early” meant a whole hour early.

  Children were beginning their treks to school by the time Reina arrived to work. The only other person in the office was Kimura, suffered to show up ninety minutes earlier than everyone else because he was the interim secretary who did the daily preparations. He stalked around the office applying lint rollers to chairs while singing a popular tune. Reina stepped through the door and pretended to ignore him on her way to her desk.

  “Ah, Yamada-san!” Kimura dropped his lint roller into Suzuki’s seat. “What are you doing here so early?” He upped his apologetic tone. “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

  Reina flopped into her chair and turned on her computer – funny, it was usually already on when she came in. Then she remembered it was the department-monkey who turned them on before employees arrived. “Just getting a jump start on the week.” She focused her eyes on the computer monitor so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge Kimura hovering near her.

  “Oh, I see.” His hands danced together. The scent of acute aftershave wafted into Reina’s nostrils. Yuck. She’d rather smell the sweet scent of Aiko’s perfume any day. “Is this about the promotion you and Suzuki-san are vying for?”

  Reina glared at him. He recoiled, long face drooping in shock.

  “Forget I said anything…can I make you some coffee? I’ll make you some coffee.” He stalked off before Reina could say anything. Two seconds later he backtracked to pick the forgotten lint roller off her desk.

  “Coffee isn’t necessary…”

  Whether or not he heard her, it didn’t matter, for Kimura was in the break room and banging on the coffee maker before Reina could turn her attention back to her computer.

  She was sorting through her stack of “to-do” work when Kimura returned with a cup steaming with coffee. The back of her eyelids burned. I don’t want to admit it, but… Coffee would give her the extra edge she needed to tackle her long day.

  Kimura sat the cup on the plastic coaster near Reina’s hand. She mumbled her thanks and continued to focus on her work; he in turn continued to stand next to her like a personal guard. “Ano, between you and me, Yamada-senpai, I really hope you get the promotion.”

  Reina had no idea how to reply to that. Admonish him for not thinking of Suzuki? Ha! She would take all the luck she could garner.

  Eventually Kimura slinked away to resume his morning rituals. Reina waited until he was on the other side of the room before taking the first sips of her coffee, her body reacting immediately to the caffeine. Recharged, she zoomed through most of her initial work before anyone else arrived.

  It was a pleasant experience, being the only one working in the office. Not to imply that Reina’s coworkers were noisy – on the contrary, they were the example of business etiquette and decorum. But without the constant phone ringing and heavy feet trotting on the carpet, Reina was able to relax more and plow through her work like she only had an hour to do it.

  Around the time she usually came in, the others began to arrive. First was the section chief, who stopped in his tracks and rushed up to ask why she was in so early. When she explained she wanted to get a jump on her work for the week, he gawked at her and went into his office. By that time a half dozen other people were filing in to begin the Monday grind.

  She took a break before the official start of work to refill her coffee and stretch her legs. Inside the break room, a group of her male coworkers huddled together, whispering excitedly to one another like a group of high school girls fawning over the latest idol release.

  “Ah, Yamada!” Suzuki burst from their midst, his round face beaming beneath his glasses. “You won’t believe it! She said yes! I’m getting married!”

  Reina stopped in the doorway. “What? Who?”

  “Atsuko! You remember!” Back slaps and hair ruffling commenced. One of their coworkers tittered and then promptly covered his mouth in embarrassment. This is weird.

  Reina had no choice but to congratulate him on his engagement. Although not one to give a single shit about straight people getting married – or gay people, for that matter – Reina was too cautious of her image at work to not say something positive. She even smiled. I am a sellout. My ass will be bitten any day now.

  She didn’t get to the coffee maker until Suzuki and his entourage of well-wishers evacuated to start work. That left her alone with Kimura again, who at first offered to pour the coffee himself.

  “Isn’t it great for Suzuki-senpai?” He sighed. “Someday, I would like to get married to a woman I really love too.”

  Reina slowly turned around, refilled coffee cup burning between her fingers. “That’s nice. Real admirable. You should find a girlfriend.”

  Kimura bowed. “I’m sorry for over-sharing with you, Yamada-senpai. It’s just that…” He paused, his eyes bouncing between the floor and Reina’s face. Why is he looking at me like that? Like somebody trying to discern if they were in the presence of a celebrity. “Do you think that maybe…” His cheeks crashed into a deep crimson, and his feet tripped over themselves as he fought for balance. Reina withheld a laugh at his gangly limbs flailing about.

  “Right now I think you need to stop drinking coffee.” Chuckling, Reina took hers out into the office, where the section chief smiled fondly upon Suzuki and his good news.

  Every morning Aiko saw her girlfriend off to work, and every morning she dreaded that her mother arrived with an eviction notice.

  For a week Aiko lived with that fear. When once she took no greater pleasure in maintaining the house and preparing a divine supper, she now found herself distracted to the point of hanging around the windows in search of her mother. Should Junko come marching down the street, Aiko wanted ample time to hide upstairs in the bed she shared with Reina.

  But Junko never came.

  Nor did she call. In fact nobody from her family called her. This was not unusual, since Aiko was not particularly close to anybody besides her busy cousin Shizuka, but she now considered the silence a fault. This of course assumed Junko had told everyone about her daughter’s indulgences. Impossible. That seemed like something Junko would take to her grave.

  Thus when she received a call Tuesday night, she knew it was Junko. It wasn’t. Instead Yatsumi’s voice came onto the line, instigating a pleasant conversation before informing Aiko that their meeting for that week had to be relocated. Aiko picked up on the insinuation and offered her house for Friday night’s get together, Reina’s feelings be damned.

  Reina. Was it any wonder she stayed at work so much that week? She’s avoiding my mother too. In a strange turn of events, Aiko became the one asking for sex most nights. Curling up in her girlfriend’s arms allowed her to feel secure. As long as Reina made love to her, Aiko could pretend there was nothing sinful about it. Being left alone made the doubts surface.

  She didn’t tell Reina about the meeting until Thursday night, and she definitely didn’t mention that Mio would come. Her hope was that Reina would mention an outing with her coworkers, but no such plans formed. Her second hope was that Reina would be so put off by the idea of guests that she would go out on her own, even if it meant flirting with other women in a bar. That didn’t happen either. On Friday morning Reina set off for work with the intent of returning home at her usual time that night.

  For dinner Aiko prepared spaghetti, a simple enough meal for them to eat and clean up before the guests arrived at eight. Reina went upstairs and changed out of her work suit and into casual cloth
es. After finishing the dishes, Aiko wiped down the cursed sitting table.

  Yatsumi was the first to arrive. She entered in her usual baggy clothes, blond hair tipped in a bright, vibrant orange. Upon commenting on it, Aiko was told that she liked to change the color once a month. Reina descended the stairs and mumbled a brief but polite greeting.

  Peering at her through judging eyes, Yatsumi replied with her own curt greeting and went into the living area to accept a glass of iced tea.

  The twins came not ten minutes later, bickering about a scarf Mari wanted to borrow but Kari claimed to no longer have. They took one look at Reina and started giggling to one another before realizing that she had no idea who they were. Then they were agitated.

  Mio was late.

  In truth, Aiko hoped she wouldn’t come. Maybe the thought of being in their house, possibly in the presence of her ex-girlfriend, was too much for her. Aiko would not blame her one bit. If she and Reina ever broke up – cosmos forbid! – she doubted she could go to where her ex lived, let alone where she lived with a new girlfriend. The thought made her choke.

  Aiko finished passing out tea to everyone, including her girlfriend, when the doorbell rang. Yatsumi grunted in approval, and the twins traded cautious looks in Reina’s direction.

  “I’ll be right back,” Aiko attempted to say pleasantly, although her nerves were on fire. Her girlfriend remained nonplussed, downing half her iced tea in one gulp.

  As expected, the final caller of the evening was Mio, standing outside in a long, flowing skirt and light jacket. She jerked to attention when Aiko opened the door and greeted her with a smile. Five seconds passed before Mio acknowledged her.

  By the time they entered the sitting area, Reina had disappeared. Where the hell did she go? The toilet? Her half empty glass remained on the table. The others shared hellos with Mio, who sat next to Yatsumi. The usual video tape and magazine trades commenced.

  Aiko served the last iced tea to Mio without thanks. Afterward, she sat at the head of the table between Yatsumi and Reina’s place. She wanted to ask where her girlfriend had gone but didn’t want to draw attention to their relationship. Is this going to be the entire evening?

  Something Kari said about a centerfold in a magazine made Mio crack up like a dropped eggshell. Yatsumi interjected with a witty one-liner and had the entire table, including Aiko, giggling. Mio remained focused on the table: Aiko hoped that meant she was ignoring Reina living there. Not that it matters. This room is hardly personalized. Let alone with photographs or knickknacks showing off their relationship.

  Yatsumi called the meeting to order with the same fanfare as the week before, going over the upcoming trip details and imploring Mari for her share of the funds. “Why should I pay to get a ticket to the show when my friend who does the actress’s hair can get me one for free?” “Because nobody but you knows who this friend is.” The conversation then diverted to the upcoming Niji Matsuri festival in Ni-chome, and what they wanted to do for it, if anything.

  “Let’s set up a kissing booth,” Kari said with candor. “Yes, we’ll each take turns handing out kisses for five-hundred yen. Aha! That’s how we’ll pay for Mari’s ticket!”

  “That’s pretty presumptuous to assume enough lesbians want to make out with us for money.” Yatsumi stifled a laugh, her pen slapping against her notepad. “God! I haven’t made out with anybody for about a year now!”

  “Me too.” Mari sighed.

  “I made out with my boyfriend last night.”

  Aiko refrained from commenting. She and Reina had shared a slow, intimate lovemaking session the night before. She wasn’t one to brag, regardless of how much she wanted to.

  Especially when Mio spoke next. “It’s been about three years for me.”

  The table fell silent, as if she had told them she wasn’t a lesbian anymore. “Wow, that is depressing,” Yatsumi muttered beneath her breath.

  “Sounds like we’re desperate for a good time at a kissing booth! Just think, if we each took turns manning it, we could make up for that lost time!” Mari cupped her chin in her hand.

  “Who would make out with us?” Yatsumi scoffed. “We’re nobodies.”

  A toilet flushed in the background. What the hell did she eat today?

  Kari’s ears perked up. “I have an idea!” Footsteps padded in the hallway, approaching the kitchen and the living area beyond it. “Let’s get Reina-san to do it!”

  She froze on the border between the kitchen and the living area. “Do what?”

  And then her eyes fell on Mio, huddling on the far side of the sitting table as if she were about to throw up. Aiko watched her girlfriend’s countenance for any sign of revulsion, but Reina seemed more concerned about being volunteered for some unknown scheme.

  “Kissing booth,” Mari continued in her sister’s stead. “If we opened a kissing booth for Niji Matsuri, would you man it for us?”

  “Ehh?” Reina took a step back. “Ai-chan, you didn’t tell me this was a kinky group!”

  The twins laughed, and Aiko forced a smile. To her left, Yatsumi was the only one not laughing – she leaned toward Mio and whispered something through her curly hair, hand reaching for hers. A rock dropped in Aiko’s stomach.

  The fun was not yet over. “Surely, if we had somebody of Reina-san’s caliber running a kissing booth, we’d make so much money we wouldn’t know what to do with it! The line would run the entire stretch of Ni-chome!”

  Reina shuffled toward the table. “Doubtless. But I’m not gonna do it.”

  “Jya, let’s get back on track,” Yatsumi said, returning her attention to the table. Beside her, Mio continued to keep her head bowed. Aiko could almost feel her shivering through the carpet. “About the money you owe, Mari…”

  As they bantered back and forth, Aiko noted her girlfriend’s demeanor, more stoic than usual. She’s finally recognized her. Indeed, Reina kept peering in Mio’s direction – every time she did so, the muscles in her arms and legs tightened. Aiko slipped her foot over Reina’s, twirling their bare toes together. Why didn’t she leave? She would be asking herself that for the rest of the night.

  Once the matter of the trip funds was settled, Mari announced she brought a video for them to watch. Aiko knew about it ahead of time and made sure the VCR was properly hooked up to the TV. All she knew about the tape was that it was an older takarazuka show. On one hand it piqued her interest, since she had never seen a show in full, and on the other she wondered if they could handle a two-hour show with both Reina and Mio in the same room. Regardless, she had to uncurl her toes from her girlfriend’s in order to get up and make the popcorn she promised Yatsumi earlier.

  “Eh?” Reina said, head slamming atop her bent hand. “What is this? A musical?”

  Aiko turned from the stove to see her girlfriend rolling her feet back and forth while Mari futzed with the VCR. Don’t tell me she…

  “Oh, God, another cultural heathen.” Kari flung her arms into the air. “How have you been a lesbian for so damn long without knowing what takarazuka is?”

  The kernels spilled into a pot. Aiko turned down the heat and listened for the inevitable.

  “I know what takarazuka is. I’ve just never seen the point of it.”

  An awkward silence, impenetrable by the opening sounds of a musical number. Aiko stepped away from the popcorn long enough to say, “Reina isn’t a visual person when it comes to that sort of thing.” Watching porn with her was like bashing one’s head against the wall.

  The popcorn was quick coming. Every little pop pop pop was an escape for Aiko’s nerves, and provided aural cover so she didn’t have to hear her new friends’ disdain for Reina’s lack of taste. She turned off the stove and dumped the popcorn into a large bowl. Carrying it into the living room was reminiscent of entering a stalemate zone.

  Her guests thanked her for the snack, including Mio who stuffed her face with popcorn. Aiko settled next to Reina and offered her a piece. She lowered her head and raised her eyeb
rows, insisting that Aiko feed her in her stead. No way! In front of Mio and the guests? Aiko tossed the piece of popcorn into her girlfriend’s mouth and left it at that.

  The only respite was watching the musical along with the others – well, not with Reina, who instead chomped down on the popcorn as if it were served just for her. Aiko admitted she was not too familiar with musicals, and couldn’t say one way or the other about whether she enjoyed them. But that’s not the point, is it? No, she garnered the appeal of these particular shows laid not only in the acting, the music, and the staging, but also in the appearance of the actresses playing male roles. They were tall, strong, and confident, the things Aiko had come to appreciate in certain lesbian women. Like Reina. And that wasn’t counting their mannerisms! If Aiko didn’t know better, she would guess that they were actually men, from the way they carried themselves and spoke in low, deep voices. Even when they sang, in grand, sweeping motions, Aiko often forgot what she was supposed to be watching. Then she would see a hint of curves, and reality came crashing back down – in the best ways possible. So this is what it’s like to ogle an actress? She could get used to it.

  Based on the budding swoons coming from the twins, they were already used to it.

  “As much as I love takarazuka, watching shows makes me feel so lonely.” Mari dropped her head onto the table with a whine.

  “Deshou?” agreed Kari. Nobody commented on the fact she had two lovers.

  “I would seriously kill for a girlfriend who looks half as good as these actresses. They’re so suave and have such commanding presences. You can tell the women playing the female characters might actually be in love with them.”

  Reina snorted into her popcorn.

  Yatsumi looked in her direction. “Problem?”

  “No problem. Just thinking you have to be pretty delusional to think any of those women are actually gay.”

  The reception was colder than an iceberg.

 

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