by Jenni James
“Pretty much.”
“Which means they’d ground you from having a boyfriend, or a boy who’s a friend.”
“Oh, definitely. I don’t even have to ask.”
“But your cousins have relationships?”
“Yep.”
“That’s messed up.”
“Or . . .” I attempted to give some sort of alternative here. “They don’t know what to do with me, or how to take care of me, because I’m just their sister’s orphaned daughter. Some people aren’t really good with the ‘loving someone else’s kid’ thing. Maybe it’s just that.”
“It’s still messed up.” He chuckled softly. “So, what are you saying here?”
“I’m saying you’re better off trying for a friendship with one of my cousins than with me.”
“But what if I don’t want to get to know them better?”
I bit my lip. “Well, from today, I’d say they’d definitely like to get to know you.”
“Yes, but . . .” He bent his head and surprised me by kissing my nose. “I have this thing. I like girls who are kind.” Then he caused me to giggle when his nose rubbed on my chin. “And as far as I can see, they’re not very kind.”
“But I was telling you off.” I wondered if he was going to try to kiss my lips.
“That doesn’t count. You were in survival mode and using self-defense and all that. But then this girl came out—the one who tries to protect her family, even if they’re rude to her. So hush and let me hold you.” His arms were so secure and strong, and I felt unbelievably safe. I sighed and could feel the start of tiny little butterflies zooming from my neck all the way down my spine. Honestly, if he’d told me to run away with him right then and there, I might’ve seriously considered it.
Later when I pulled back, he kissed my forehead and then my nose again. I couldn’t stop giggling. And I couldn’t remember a time when I felt so pretty and crazy happy. “You’re too good for me,” I said.
“I could stay here on this freezing trampoline and hear you laugh all night long. There’s something awesome about hearing a girl laugh after she’s hated you.”
“Is that why you’re here? You don’t want me to hate you?”
“No. I’m here because you mean that much to me, and I still haven’t figured out why yet.”
“So, once you figure it out, you’ll take off again?” I asked worriedly.
“Indy! Stop.” He pulled back.
“Sorry. Apparently, I have abandonment issues.”
“And ten hours ago you wanted to kick me out of the house.”
I winced. “Don’t remind me.” I waited a few moments and then asked, “Okay. So if we do get together, then what?”
I could feel him shrug. “We see where this goes. And if it works out, great. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay too.”
A small sliver of panic began to take over. “I don’t know. I just can’t see it working.” Before he could answer, I said, “Hear me out. You and I are from completely different worlds. Sure, this feels good right now, like we’ve connected on a higher level. But we have different friends, different likes and dislikes. And even if you’re brave enough to say that everything will be fine at school, it won’t be.”
“So, what are you trying to say?”
How could I put this without hurting him? “You’re not really the type of person I hang out with.”
“Meaning?”
“Good grief. You’re going to kill me here!”
“Hey, if you’re going to make rash statements about how we’re not good for each other, you’d better believe I’m going to force you into telling me everything.”
I bunched up part of his jacket in my fist. “You’re Bryant Bailey, for crying out loud. This isn’t that difficult to understand. I’ve seen you walk around at school—girls practically fall at your feet. Look at my cousins! That’s exactly what happens to you everywhere you go. And I’m . . . well, I’m not that way. I don’t want to be that way. I’ve worked dang hard to be ignored by your friends, and I’d prefer to keep it like that.”
“Indy Zimmerman, you are one tough cookie to figure out.”
“Cookie? Cookie? Really, that’s the best you could come up with?” I mock-pushed against him.
“Fine. Girl. But girl sounds boring.” He suddenly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close again. “Look. How about we try it your way. I’m not about to lose you, and I think I know what you’re trying to say, so I’ll respect that.”
I was so confused. “What’s my way? The no relationship part?” My heart felt a little panicked.
“No. You forgot the ‘I’m not about to lose you’ part. I’m not. So what if we did this under the radar? Sort of relaxed and chill and something no one knew about. Just become close friends and see what happens. Would you like to try that for a couple of weeks and see how it goes?”
“Be secret friends?”
“Yeah. Then your cousins won’t get jealous, and your aunt and uncle won’t freak out.”
“But isn’t that dishonest?”
“I don’t see why. We’re not going to deny it if anyone asks, but we’re just not going to flaunt it, either. We’ll sort of ease into it this friendship slowly.”
For some reason, I was okay with this. “Kind of a trial-and-error type thing. If it doesn’t work out, it won’t be huge drama all over the school? And without the stress of an actual relationship?”
“Right.”
“I like the idea of going slow.” I grinned, but it was completely wasted on him in the dark.
“Okay. So how will we keep in touch? Do you have a phone?”
“Yeah, somewhere. I’ll have to find it. It’s just a text-slash-talk phone. Not an iPhone or anything.”
“Hey, that’s perfect. Let’s plan on talking some nights, if you can, and texting during the day.”
“Okay.” I was beginning to have hope. At the very least, it could be really fun.
“I’ll text you my email address—oh! We can hook up on Facebook, too.”
“Whoa. I don’t know about Facebook. Everyone will see.”
He kissed my forehead again. “You’re exasperating. You know that?”
If only he’d get up the nerve and actually kiss me, maybe I won’t feel so weird about having kissed him earlier. Gah. “Clearly, you have no idea how irritating you are. So I guess that makes us even!”
He laughed and began to roll off the trampoline. “Come on, Cinderella. Let’s get you back in the house before you turn into a pumpkin.”
“More like a frozen pumpkin,” I grumbled as I followed him. Without his warmth, I could feel the breeze slice through my coat. “And don’t call me Cinderella.”
He helped me down. “Too late. It’s going to happen. Besides, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your aunt and cousins are pretty much playing their parts down to a T.”
“Whatever. You’re such a dork.” I didn’t protest when his large hand enveloped mine.
“Yes, but I’m your dork now.”
I couldn’t help it. I smiled a huge, ridiculous smile. “I think I like the sound of that.”
“Good, because I believe it’ll be the start of amazing things.”
I really hoped he was right.
CHAPTER NINE:
Sunday morning started out typically. I had been up for a few hours the night before, cleaning up the party mess. Now I was doing my typical Sunday chores. Scrub the tubs, change the sheets, and straighten the cupboards. It was nice, because that’s when everybody left to do their shopping, so I had the whole place to myself.
I didn’t have an iPod, but I usually turned on some music and jammed while I worked. This time, however, I couldn’t help imagining a certain tall, dark-haired, annoying guy dancing with me. He was completely distracting and made me blush, but the daydream made me feel girly and laugh at myself.
“Indy! What is all this? You haven’t even loaded the dishwasher yet? And why is this music on?” Clarise
asked as she came into the living room earlier than usual.
“Sorry!” I ran and stopped the music coming from the family laptop on the table, and then began to load the dishwasher. “I’ll put the laptop back in a minute.”
Jayda and Kaitlyn walked into the house with some bags.
Clarise looked around the kitchen and then shook her head. “You’d better.”
Jayda walked up to the sink and dropped the water bottle she’d taken with her to the mall into it. “You forgot this.”
“Thanks,” I muttered as I took off the lid and set it in the dishwasher next to me. What would they do without me there to do such hard chores for them?
As Clarise walked out of the kitchen, she called over her shoulder, “You’re grounded for using that laptop.”
Nice. That was the one I used for my homework. Now what?
***
On Monday in school, during English, I received my first text from Bryant.
Hey. I miss you.
Four little words, and I didn’t think it was possible to feel this giddy. Holy cow, my whole body zinged with warmth. I tried to control my smile as I glanced around the room. I was pretty sure no one noticed me using my notebook to hide my phone, but the way I’d completely forgotten I was in a classroom full of students for a minute scared me.
I decided not to answer him back right away. I was afraid he wouldn’t stop, and I’d for sure get caught. I bit my lip as I placed the phone upside down and imagined a world where this became the norm.
Mr. Parkington droned on. “As we explore the findings in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, I want you to pay particular attention to page…”
I could barely hang on. Four words, and they completely made my day. I didn’t think school would ever end. I felt like squealing inside like a little kid, but I didn’t. I held myself together—ish.
When the bell rang, I bolted out of English class so fast, I was the first one out. I didn’t know Bryant’s schedule, but now everything was on override as I searched for him. I knew we’d passed each other in the halls a lot. I knew he’d managed to show up randomly in some of my classes, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember which class or when, or anything.
Why didn’t I pay attention the last two weeks when Bryant went overboard with the begging forgiveness thing?
“Indy!”
I whirled around in the busy hallway to find Maxton heading toward me. “Where’d you go? I was waiting for you outside Mr. Parkington’s room like usual, but you’d already left.”
Oh, dang. I forgot that Maxton and I went to lunch together. How could I have forgotten? What was wrong with me?
“Sorry. I got out early and thought I saw someone.” I tried to paste a smile on my face as I walked to my locker, but I already had this huge grin, so it didn’t matter.
“What’s gotten into you?” He chuckled. “You look like you’re walking on air.”
“The expression is ‘sunshine.’” I bit my lip again. “I’m walking on sunshine.”
His eyebrows rose. “Right. So, anything new?”
“Not really,” I lied as we approached my locker. I whizzed through my combination and opened it up. We stuffed it full with Maxton’s books and backpack, as well as my own, and I slammed it closed. Then I remembered my phone was still in my bag. “Uh, hang on! I forgot something.” It took another minute or so, but I finally slipped my phone into my pocket and smiled. “Okay. You hungry?”
He gave my pocket a funny look, but thankfully, he didn’t say anything about it. “Sure.” Maxton was one of the cool guys who didn’t invade too much. It’s why we got along so well. He was smart and fun, and pretty much as easygoing as you could get. We’d been hanging out for about three years now. Not too bad, for me and my need to “hide,” as Bryant would call it.
Maxton came from a family with a ton of kids, and the last year or so, his dad had been laid off, finding it hard to get another job that would give his family benefits. Even though we had an open campus and you could pretty much drive anywhere to lunch, we chose to stay in the cafeteria. Maxton was on the free lunch program, and that meant cafeteria food.
I was on the “he’s pretty much my best friend” program, so I stayed with him.
By the time we’d sat down at the table with our food, Maxton must’ve decided he was curious about me—or maybe I was acting more different than I thought—because he said, “All right. Spill. What’s going on?”
I took a bite of my chicken sandwich and shrugged. “Nothing much.”
“Anything new with your aunt and uncle? Jayda? Kaitlyn?”
“Not that I know of.”
Maxton looked at me for a moment and then pushed his tray away. “Come on—I’m not stupid. I’m your friend, remember? Now share, or I’m going to get a complex already.”
“What? When have you ever had a complex about anything?”
“You’re avoiding the question.” He pulled his tray back. “All right, I get it. You don’t want to tell me anything. Fine. But just know that I know something happened, and the next time you decide you want to hear some of my news, I’ll leave you hanging too.”
“Not fair.” I laughed. Maxton usually had some very juicy gossip.
He finished off his sandwich and then put his elbows on the table. “So, are you going to tell me or not?”
“It’s a secret.” I totally started to blush. I couldn’t believe it. “I don’t think I’m supposed to tell anyone.”
“I’m not just anyone. Holy cow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this red before.” He turned more fully toward me. “That’s it. Tell me now. Hurry. There’s no one else around.”
It was true. Only about forty people stayed on campus to eat—most opted to go home or get fast food if they had the money. Maxton and I always had our own table, the one in back where we could eat in peace.
“Fine.” I huffed as I leaned over. “But you can’t tell anyone.”
“Who would I tell?” He looked shocked.
“I mean it.” I pointed at him. “You might want to, but you’ve gotta keep your mouth shut. Or I’ll get busted.”
His eyes were huge. “What in the . . .? What did you do?”
“Oh, good grief! Nothing bad. Sheesh. Thanks. It’s good to know your first thought is that I’ve done something illegal.”
“Well, you said you’d get busted.”
He had a point, but I refused to acknowledge it. “Whatever. No, the secret is that Bryant Bailey and I have decided to get to know each other better.”
“What?”
“Ish.”
“What?”
“Not really, just . . . well, yeah, we are. We’re keeping it on the down low, though, because of a lot of complications, but yes. I mean, we talked about it and snuggled on the trampoline out back and everything.”
“Wait. What?”
“Are you just going to sit there and say ‘what’?”
“What?” He grinned. “No. But seriously, are you kidding?”
“No.” I took a deep breath and grinned this silly love-struck grin—at least, I assumed it was a love-struck grin—and shook my head. “He came over Saturday and surprised me and finally talked some sense into me and shared his awful past, and it seems like we have a lot in common.”
“Bryant Bailey? The Bryant Bailey?”
“Yes.”
“The guy you completely despise, who killed your cat and has been stalking you this whole month to apologize for destroying your life—that Bryant Bailey?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” Maxton leaned back in his chair and flipped his hair out of his eyes. “Wow.”
“I know. It’s crazy, right?”
“I never would’ve expected it. Ever.”
“Me neither.” I leaned forward. “Believe me, I tried everything I could to stay mad at him, but he’s pretty much irresistible.”
“Is he really? And you just let him hold you?”
“Technically, yeah. He’s good at
cuddling. Also, I sort of kissed him.”.”
“Wait. What?” His jaw dropped.
“You sound like a broken record.” I grinned.
“I feel like a broken record. This is pretty shocking.” He rubbed his face and shook his head.
“I know, right?”
“And him following you around and being persistent worked?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Why do I have a feeling that if I followed around—say, one of your cousins—and kept pestering them, I’d get arrested?”
I hated to admit it, but he was right. “Well, I don’t think they’re as nice as I am.”
“Probably not.” He took a deep breath and then asked, “So, tell me what happened when you brought me up. I mean, he must have seen us together at PE on Friday, and I know he’s seen us other days too. Didn’t that sort of put a chink in his armor?”
I was a little lost. “What do you mean?”
He still looked at me in shock. “I mean, what did he say when you told him you already had a boyfriend?”
CHAPTER TEN:
I felt my whole body slowly turn to stone. I’m sure my mouth dropped open as well, but I was too numb to notice. Did Maxton really think we were going out? How was this possible? The guy had never once asked me on a regular date, or kissed me, or anything. After a few stunned seconds, I knew I couldn’t be completely frozen because I could feel my stomach churning.
I was sick. This type of thing never happened to me. I thought I’d made it clear eons ago that I didn’t want boyfriends or relationship junk, that I just wanted friends. And Maxton was cool with that. At least, he said he was.
“Maxton?”
“Yeah?”
I didn’t even know what to say. I definitely didn’t want to hurt the guy—I mean, he was my closest friend, but I had no idea he had any feelings for me at all. I thought back over the years and the time we’d spent working on assignments, or argued about political stuff, or a couple of times when we played video games in the den. I asked the only thing I could think of. “When did you start liking me?”
“Indy, I’ve always liked you. From the very beginning, I told you I had a crush on you.”
