“And ready to make some babies with you,” Ares crooned over the phone.
“You’re just marrying me for my ovaries.”
“Yep.” I heard him smack his lips. “You make beautiful babies. Speaking of, you need to put my beautiful future stepchildren to bed and call me back?”
“Yes I do. Let’s see if I can break any bedtime speed trial times.”
He chuckled as we rang off the line.
I did break some type of bedtime land speed record. They were both tired, and out cold as soon as heads hit pillows. I called Ares as soon as I got back to my room. It took restraint to keep from running once I closed the last door.
“Talking to Bree sort of derailed me. Remind me why I am up in the middle of the night?” His voice was still groggy with sleep.
“You were going to seduce me with the dulcet tones of your voice, and caress my body with your virtual fingers,” I explained.
“Ahhh, right, your turn,” he growled.
“If I were there, I would make you scream, so now I’m going to see just how long my cock is, and if I can reach through the phone with it and—”
I cut him off. “This is supposed the be hot, not a comedy act.”
“Too much huh?”
“Yes.” If anything the humor of it was turning me off.
“Sorry, put me on speaker phone if it’s safe. You are going to need your hands.”
I switched to speaker phone, and set the phone on the pillow, the one that was his when he spent the night with me.
“Is it safe from little ears?”
“Little ears are away in their beds and asleep. So, are you participating or are you directing?”
“I am participating, that felt really good earlier, I would like to do that again.”
“Okay how do you want me to start? Clothes on or off?” I closed my eyes and pictured him in my mind’s eye. Seeing him, a picture on my computer or in my head always made this easier.
“Tell me how you take your shirt off.”
“Okay I’m wearing a T-shirt, so…” I paused to pull it off. “I’ve pulled it off, over my head.”
“And your bra?”
“It’s red, the one with the black lace around the edges, the one you like to lick.” Ares let out a low moan. I chuckled. The bra I was wearing was not red, or lacy. It was functional flesh toned, but I figured if I was going to fantasize about him being there with me, I might as well go all the way.
“Then leave that on for now. Take your pants off and tell me about your panties”
I shrugged out of my pants. “I’m wearing black panties.” I really was. “You remember the kind I wear, the hip huggers.”
“Are they wet?” he growled.
“Getting there. My turn, what are you wearing? You were asleep so either you fell asleep drunk and are in your jeans, or you managed to take a shower, so you are wearing shorts.”
“Shorts, I took a shower.”
I could picture him clearly, all disheveled from sleep, his skin clean and warm. “Hmm,” I sighed. “Take them off. I want you naked.”
“As you wish my lady.”
“More of that fancy talk, are you trying to seduce me?”
“Is it working?” His voice rumbled.
“Not yet.”
“Then I must try harder.”
“Is it hard?” I chided back.
“Not hard enough for you sweetheart.”
I giggled. “We must fix that.”
“How?”
“Some strategically placed fingers.”
“Like the ones around my cock.”
“Yes,” I agreed.
“And the ones on your breasts?”
“Is that where you want my hands, on my breasts?”
“Yes, and close your eyes, so you feel me.”
My eyes were closed, and I started to massage my breasts the way Ares would, with as much full palming as I could manage. His hands were so much bigger than mine. And they always felt so warm.
“Pull on your nipples,” he commanded, “and imagine I’m using my teeth, scraping ever so slightly.”
I moaned, my nipples were getting longer and harder with manipulation.
“Now reach down, and I’m going to wrap your fingers around my cock, and you are going to put two of my fingers on either side of your clit.”
I moaned again.
“You are so wet right now.”
“Yes I am,” I confirmed.
“Now stroke, I feel you, you feel me?”
“Ares, I miss your touch,” I lamented.
“I’m right here sweetheart, are you stroking?”
“I am.”
I reached down and using the rose quartz wand he had given me just for this purpose, I began stroking myself. We were both breathing hard, the sound of him wound me up. Thoughts of him touching me, of being beneath him worked their magic. The orgasm snuck up on me, my eyes clenched, my walls twitched briefly. Nothing epic, but enough to take care of the need. I made little squeaking sounds that wound Ares up on the other end of the line. I heard his growl of release.
We breathed heavily over the phone at each other.
We were together, but I was alone. I tried to not cry. “My bed is empty.” I stared at his pillow.
“No, I’m right here. Turn on your side and close your eyes.” I followed his instructions. “Now open your mind and see me looking right at you.” I did. He was curled on his side gazing back at me, his eyes were dark in the lack of light, I couldn’t see their flashing blue.
“I love you, Elizabeth.” It was almost a whisper, a prayer when he used my full name.
“I love you, but it seems like we’ve done this more than actual physical contact.”
“We touch constantly when I’m there.”
“That’s just it, you’re not here more than you have been here.”
He was quiet, thinking.
“I’ll see what I can do to fix that.” I heard him sigh. Touring was a major part of maintaining his fan base. The fans who purchased the records, that encouraged executives to pay him to record music. I didn’t know how this was going to work. I didn’t want to lose him before I felt I had really gotten him.
“I’m not asking you to quit the band. I wouldn’t do that.”
“I know you’re not. You are amazing, you know that right?” he asked.
“How so?”
“You make me crazy with your words. You can switch from being a mommy to red hot lover, and it all just makes me want you more. You have given me a reason to stay clean, and one hell of an excuse to drink when you’re away. I see my future and my children in your eyes. I am complete with you. You keep me grounded in this crazy life.”
“You really think all that?” I asked quietly.
“All that babe, and more. We will figure this out.”
I pictured us facing each other on our beds, as if in a movie where the effect split the screen to show the two locations at the same time.
We faced each other, on our sides. Him tangled in a sheet around his legs and over his back the way he winds himself in at night, and me covered smoothly to my chin the way I slept without him. He was in a hotel in Amsterdam, and I was at home in Nashville.
I fell asleep like that, with that picture in my mind’s eye. I also forgot to ring off the call. In the morning, my phone was on his pillow, and it was completely dead. I didn’t want to think about the minutes that called burned. I plugged my phone in and got ready for the day. The Ares size hole in my soul was a little smaller, a little less raw. One more day to cross off the calendar, one less day until he came home.
Twenty-Two
July was the longest and hottest July I had ever experienced. The heat seemed to make everything take longer. Richard disappeared for his annual week with the girls. Even his mother didn’t know where he had gotten off to for the first few days. Then he called her, claiming to have forgotten, and went on a deep sea fishing trip in Florida. Seriously. The man forgo
t he was supposed to take his children for a full week in July? It’s not like he hadn’t been doing that for the previous three years since Bree turned one.
Miss Angie couldn’t take the girls. Not that I would have asked her, not after she helped me out when I had to fly off to Seattle. Joan understood, and the few hours I had planned on being in her office that week, she had no problems with the girls tagging along, and the DVD babysitter worked wonders. This was my last straw with Richard. I started making pros and cons lists, and listing all the questions I would have. I wanted to know what I was going to be up against if I decided to sue him for full custody. At what point should I do it before the wedding? After? Would that be fair to the girls? How long would I be able to keep the house? I needed to find out about all of that. I was going to get married. I should have been thrilled and planning a wedding. But because of Richard, I needed to talk to my divorce lawyer.
July came and went. My period did not. I was going to have some interesting news for Ares. I only hoped he would be happy. I was. I couldn’t tell anyone. Not until I told him. I had thought about sending him a picture of the positive pregnancy test, but I really wanted to see his face, read his reaction. I wasn’t going to tell him over the phone. The stupid face-to-face function never worked on my new phone, and we only had an opportunity to video chat once. That was something else I was going to have to ask the lawyer about. My alimony. I knew it would end as soon as I married Ares, but I wasn’t sure if this new baby would impact it or not.
All of my fears regarding fidelity and Ares constantly nagged at me. There were days my fears were so loud and pointed out how easily I let myself get knocked up. I felt like I had set myself up for a huge fall. Every night I talked to Ares, and felt like a fool for listening to my fears instead of him. Ares constantly assured me that he only had eyes and other body parts for me.
We talked about everything and nothing every night. He calmed down on the drinking, which made me happy, and by the end of the tour he no longer got drunk. He worked out more. Ran more. Traded one addiction for another. Replaced alcohol with endorphins. Endorphins were easier to deal with. He also started participating in an online support group. Lonnie Rose, the singer from Landslide— was solo on the festival circuit with them— convinced Ares to try it, as it was helping to keep him clean and sane on tour. Ares claimed he liked the true anonymity of the online community.
The first ten days of August felt like twenty days. Time dragged. School started for the girls, without them the days felt even longer. School always seemed to start earlier and earlier each year, but it’s always the first week of August around here. Bree went into kindergarten. I could hardly believe she was getting so big. I wasn’t ready for kindergarten yet, but she was. She was five going on fifteen some days. Cassidy started the second grade. We wouldn’t be able to spell words she didn’t need to hear for much longer.
The second week of August Ares was back in my arms. It felt so wonderful to have my family all in one place. If I had any doubts regarding marrying Ares, they dissolved the second I saw his smile. Watching him stride through those sliding glass doors at the airport was euphoric.
All three of us picked him up from the airport, which was a good thing. It really put a check on my libido, and prevented me from jumping him then and there in the van. I got a quick kiss, maybe it wasn’t quick, but it wasn’t long enough, before he went in for hugs from the girls. Bree squealed with delight as he revealed, from inside his coat, the gifts he brought. Cassidy was also thrilled with these first gifts, small candy colored teddy bears wearing the German flag on T-shirts. I received another kiss and a promise that I would get my gift after it was unpacked. Other gifts included festivals T-shirts and random tchotchkes from all the countries he visited.
My gift was Ares, and a set of leather cuffs with D-rings for tying up. It was the most wonderful reunion, tender and loving. Yes, we played with my gifts.
I left him asleep to deliver the girls to school. I managed to slide back into bed before he even noticed I was gone.
He woke with a groan and rolled over me to look at his phone on the bedside table. “What time do we have to pick up the girls?”
“Not for hours, why?”
He trapped me beneath him. His strong arms braced on either side of my head. His hair fell around our faces secluding us from the rest of the world. I hooked a leg over his hip. His erection pressing against my leg told me exactly why he was awake.
“I don’t want to let you out of this bed all day…”
“But?” I asked.
“Do you have enough condoms?”
“About that.” I felt a blush warm my cheeks. “You don’t need to worry about those.”
“What? Did you buy them in bulk?” he laughed.
Damn, I missed the feel of his belly against mine as he laughed.
“Not exactly. We just won’t need them. Not for another seven or eight months.”
Ares sat back on his heels, and pushed his hair back from his face with both hands. His jaw went slack, and I saw tears well up in his eyes.
“Atlanta?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Lizzie.” He lay next to me and bundled me into his arms. “Are you sure?” His hand caressed my belly and his eyes kept searching my face and then focusing on my belly.
I caressed the side of his face. “I kept the test in case you wanted to see it.”
“You did that for me?”
“I did. I thought about wrapping it up like a present, but… I don’t know. I wanted to tell you and not play any games. I needed to tell you to your face. Are you happy?”
“Oh God, Lizzie! Am I happy?” He paused and his eyes darted around. “Happy isn’t the right word.”
He took my hand and pressed it to his chest. His heart beat strong and steady against my palm.
“It’s all a bit overwhelming, isn’t it?” I leaned in and kissed him.
He pulled back when I pressed in hard.
“You aren’t happy about this, are you?”
“That’s not it. I mean, you’re pregnant. We should take it easy, right?” His voice quavered.
I pulled him into my arms as his whole body shook.
“Ares, you can make love to me. It won’t hurt the baby.”
“But for how long?” he asked.
“What do you mean how long? We can have sex right up to delivery if I’m feeling it, and I haven’t been put on bed rest or anything.”
“I can have sex with you?”
“You better!” I rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips. I had to go slow and convince him this was perfectly fine, but after a few minutes he forgot his worries and he was back to his typical high-quality performance.
I took Ares to meet Joan and her son, Hunter. I was nervous asking Ares to do that. I just thought, if I was that kid and I found out my mom’s assistant knew my hero and never let me meet him, I would hate her for life. Ares had no problems meeting Hunter. Hunter didn’t do that whole fan-goo-puddle thing. In actuality, I dragged Ares to work with me, it just happened to be beneficial in that I also was able to introduce Hunter. They ended up playing some video game together while Joan and I did our thing. When we left Joan’s home office in the afternoon, she thanked me for bringing Ares over and said she understood why I kept who I had been dating a secret.
We had two weeks together before he had to return to Seattle and get ready for the US-Canada portion of the tour. I survived the European tour. I could survive the US tour. I was still nervous, but I knew I would be okay, and I didn’t need to worry about Ares. He was undoubtedly mine.
The album, Shortcut Through Insanity, released in September and the band was back on the road promoting, visiting radio stations, attending signings at record stores. Sales were good. They played larger night clubs and small to medium sized venues. Ticket sales were good, and the tour wasn’t a financial loss. Everyone got paid. Turns out it is more financially beneficial to play the larger festivals, th
an it is to finance your own tour.
The tour was great for the band, but Ares missed his baby’s heartbeat for the first time. He flew in for two days just to be with me when they did the big ultrasound to see if they could determine the baby’s gender. The results were inconclusive, we were going to have to wait and see. As much as he claimed to be amazed at my baby making abilities, he missed so much of it.
I’d like to say being pregnant was easy. But the truth was, I was still a single mother and pregnant. Engaged or not, Ares wasn’t around much. Miss Angie continued her support regarding the girls, but her disdain for me became greater. Richard stopped interacting with me and the girls altogether. Which was fine with me and my lawyer. My mother was more than a little disappointed I had become pregnant before we got married, and that we decided to go ahead with the wedding as planned, instead of getting married immediately. Ares was attentive as he could be. As I feared, he just wasn’t physically available.
Ares flew out and spent a quiet Christmas with me. Just the two of us. The girls were with Miss Angie. It was Richard’s year even if he didn’t take it. Ares spent hours curled around my pregnant belly telling our unborn child all about why Daddy wasn’t around. It was endearing, and made me cherish what little time together we had. Ares described touring and promoting the album. He confessed he looked forward to spending more time on the soundtrack project. He was ready to grow roots with us and hoped this new project would allow for that.
Big news came just after AudioVox played a New Year’s Eve show, Kris Kinney decided it was time to go solo. Steve Scott was going to leave with him. It was a surprise to me, but Ares seemed relieved. It was a much needed dismantling of the band. They had been together as a band for long enough. It turned out Ares wasn’t the only one ready to let the band go. Gunter, apparently, had been thinking about retiring for a while. He wanted to be able to stay home more with his family. Kris and Steve actually did everyone a huge favor. The announcement boosted album sales, Shortcut Through Insanity became their first platinum album in almost eight years.
Ballad Ares Page 21
