And yet, he was worried. Pepper, for all her smiles and kisses, didn’t seem to be as invested. He didn’t know what secret she was keeping, but he could tell it was eating at her. He could feel her hesitation in their interactions and he couldn’t help but think the two things were related. Things between them started changing after Valentine’s Day and her visit with her mother. He could tell she was still attracted to him, but that wasn’t enough. She was holding back, afraid to fully give in to their relationship and he was certain whatever she was hiding was the cause of it.
Grant wasn’t sure how to be in a relationship that hovered in limbo while they both waited for the other shoe to drop. They needed to get past this if they were ever going to work out as a couple.
Pepper looked over at the clock by the bed stand and his gaze followed her. It was just before eight. “What time do you have to be at the salon?” he asked.
“A little before ten. That’s when my first client comes in and I need to clean up from last night’s late walk-in appointment.”
“Mmm . . .” he said thoughtfully, drawing his fingertip along her bare collarbone. “That’s very inconsiderate of him. Perhaps he can make it up to you by buying you breakfast.”
Pepper smiled. “I think that’s a good start.” She leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips. “I’m going to hop in the shower if you’d care to join me.”
Grant considered it but shook his head. As much as he liked that idea, he couldn’t get his arm wet and making love to her in the shower required a certain athleticism that he was lacking until he fully healed up. “You’ll be late for work,” he said. “And I’ve already promised you breakfast, so I’ll let you go it alone.”
With a smile, Pepper got up and went down the hall to the bathroom. Grant pulled his clothes together and waited for her in the living room. About a half hour later, they were both dressed and in Pepper’s car on their way to Ellen’s Diner.
They chose a booth, both of them savoring the diner’s strong black coffee while they waited for their omelets and pancakes. When their food came, Grant tried to focus on that instead of the wariness in Pepper’s eyes. She’d sat facing the door and kept watching out the front window for something or someone.
Was her family still giving her grief about dating him? He understood better why her mother was so concerned about the two of them, but he didn’t know how to prove to Miss Kate that he wasn’t his father. It seemed like Pepper was worried that she would run into one of them when she was with him. Before he could say anything, she would look at him and smile, all the worries fading away for a moment. He didn’t know what to think.
He let them finish eating before he worked up the nerve to ask her about it. He’d prefer to have this conversation over strong drinks instead of strong coffee, but he didn’t want to put this off any longer. “Are you okay?”
Pepper chewed her last bite and set down her fork on the mostly empty plate. “Of course I am.”
Grant’s brow drew together, his lips tightening. “There’s something wrong. You seem . . . tense. Wary. Tell me what’s going on. Please.”
“We’ve discussed this.” She glanced down at her phone.
“I know. But the issue doesn’t seem to be getting better. It’s getting worse. You’re anxious and sad. I hate seeing you this way, and I hate that I can’t help you because you keep shutting me out.”
“I need to get to the salon,” she said, pushing up from the table.
Grant sighed and put money on the table for Ruth. He followed Pepper to the front door, each footstep harder than the last as dread pooled in his stomach. This just wasn’t going to work. This secret was making her miserable and he couldn’t just sit around and watch it eat away at her. They paused on the sidewalk outside of the diner. He had intended to walk to his loft from here when they parted ways. But his intention shifted to finishing this discussion now that they were away from the prying eyes and ears of the diner patrons.
Before he could say anything, he noticed Pepper was once again looking over his shoulder at something.
When Grant turned, he saw Logan coming down the sidewalk toward the diner. Logan froze in his tracks when he saw them, his smile fading as he looked from Pepper to Grant.
In an instant, the muscles in his neck visibly tensed.
Grant looked back at Pepper and saw the same reaction. She was strung as tight as a drum, looking at her brother with an expression that pleaded but bordered on terror. What the hell was going on?
“Morning, Logan,” Pepper managed with a feeble smile.
Logan slowly closed the gap between them, his jaw hard as a rock as he clenched his teeth. Grant had hoped that over time, her brother and the rest of her family would come to accept him, but the opposite seemed to have happened. He looked even angrier than he had when he saw Grant at Pepper’s house.
His heated gaze flicked over Grant, then focused on his sister. “I don’t understand you, Pepper.”
“Not here, Logan.”
“Yes, here,” he snapped. “This is more than you being stupid about who you date. Everything has changed. How can you continue to see him when you know the truth?”
“It’s got nothing to do with him,” Pepper argued. “We’ve been through this. My personal relationships have nothing to do with you.”
“It has everything to do with me because you’re my sister. And he’s . . .” Logan turned back to Grant, his face red with anger. “He’s who he is,” he finished. “Why don’t you just punch me in the face? It’s the same kind of betrayal.”
“Betrayal?” Pepper visibly flinched at her brother’s harsh words. “Don’t you think that’s a little much, Logan?”
“Not at all. Put yourself in my shoes, Pepper. How would you feel?”
Pepper sighed. “I know it’s hard,” she said, reaching out for her brother, but he pulled away. “Dad doesn’t want us fighting about this. He told you all those things to put an end to the fighting, not to make it worse.”
Grant didn’t know what “all those things” were, but it didn’t sound good. It made him wonder if whatever they were alluding to was the secret bothering Pepper. No matter what they were talking about, though, it didn’t call for Logan to take such a hard tone with Pepper. She didn’t deserve that.
“Well, that’s too bad,” Logan snapped with a bitter tone in his voice. “I’m not out to upset Dad, but I’m also not out to make other people happy. For years, people have been deciding what’s best for me, but not anymore.”
“Logan, you know that we—”
“Just forget it. Forget it,” Logan interrupted, holding his hands up. He looked over Grant again with visible distaste wrinkling his nose. He shook his head and looked back at Pepper. “Call me when you two break up—and you will. I really don’t want to see or talk to you until then.” Logan spun on his heel and marched around the corner of the diner.
Pepper started after her brother and then she stopped. With a heavy sigh, her shoulders collapsed and she dropped her face into her hands.
Grant came up beside her and put a comforting arm across her shoulder, giving her a moment to absorb everything that had just happened. “Pepper?” he said at last.
She uncovered her face and looked at him. “Yeah?”
“What was all that about?”
She sighed and shook her head. “I can’t tell yo—”
“Stop,” he said, not letting her finish. “Don’t tell me it’s a secret and you can’t tell me. And don’t bother insisting it’s nothing because it’s not nothing. That fight just now sure as hell was about something. And it’s more than just some old family rivalry nonsense. What is going on? Tell me.”
“I . . .” she started, and then stopped.
Her dark eyes looked at his, pleading for mercy. She wanted him to drop this, but he just couldn’t. This was too important. This was serious, and she was keeping it from him. They couldn’t go on like this, pretending everything was okay while she was burdened with whatever
this was.
“Trust me when I tell you that this kind of thing will slowly eat you up from the inside out. For twelve years, I carried around that secret about my father. And I never told anyone. No one. But I told you. You’re important to me, and sharing that with you was a big step. And it made me feel better. Getting that off my chest was like lifting a cinder block off my sternum. Let me do that for you.”
Pepper shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “You only told me that story because you were on medication.”
They both knew that wasn’t true. The drugs may have made telling the story easier, but he didn’t tell a secret he hadn’t wanted to share. “I told you because I wanted to tell you. I wanted someone else to understand what I was going through. And why honesty is so important to me.”
“That’s different, Grant.”
“How? How is it different?” he pressed.
“Because that was your secret to tell. Whether or not I wanted to tell you about this, I can’t. It’s not my secret. It’s not going to hurt me if the truth got out. But it would hurt other people. Hell, it might even hurt you. Don’t ask me to do that.”
How could that be possible? The truth never hurt as much as a lie in the end. “I know it seems like you can’t talk about it, but you have to, Pepper. How can we be together if we’re keeping secrets from each other?” Grant knew that it was now or never. He needed to push her to tell him. “We can’t be in a relationship if we can’t be honest with each other.” Surely that ultimatum would weaken her resolve.
Pepper’s gaze dropped to the sidewalk. All the fight seemed to have drained out of her, leaving her completely exhausted. When she looked back up at him, her eyes were lined with weariness and glassy with tears. “If that’s the way you feel, Grant, I guess we can’t.”
He narrowed his gaze at her. “What do you mean? That we can’t keep secrets?”
“No, that we can’t be in a relationship.” She shook her head and took a few steps back from him. “It was fun, Grant. I’m glad I finally gave in, but it’s causing too much drama in my life to let it continue. See you around.”
Pepper turned and started down the sidewalk. Every step she took made the gaping hole in his chest feel larger and larger. And yet, his feet were bogged down in cement. He couldn’t make himself chase after her.
His bluff had just blown up in his face. He pushed too hard and she went in a direction he never expected. He thought they had something more important than that, but he must’ve been wrong. If she would rather walk away from their relationship than tell him the truth, she wasn’t the woman he thought she was. And if that was the case, he was tired of pursuing her. He’d been chasing Pepper since he was fourteen years old and it was painfully apparent that she wasn’t interested in being caught. This was the second time she’d dropped him as if what they had meant nothing, so it must be true.
Grant had never felt this way about a woman before, so what did he know? Maybe all these feelings were just side effects of his medication mixed with heartburn from last night’s takeout.
He’d go by the drugstore to get some antacids on the way home. And from now on, if he wanted companionship and someone to wake up to every morning, he could get a dog. They didn’t lie or keep secrets. They were always happy to see you and weren’t conflicted about that fact. Yes, from now on, the warm body beside him in bed was going to have a wet nose and a wagging tail.
He doubted anyone else would be filling that vacant space for a very long time.
Chapter 19
One appointment left in the day and then Pepper could go home. It had been a miserable few days since the blowup with Grant. Sitting alone in her house each night, she found herself looking around at all the things Grant had left his mark on—the walls he helped paint, the pictures he helped hang, the rug they picked out together . . . There were pieces of him everywhere she looked. The last few nights, she’d even slept in the living room to avoid the memories they’d made in her new bedroom. She wondered how long it would take before she could enjoy her house and not think about Grant. In the meantime, she went home each night and lost herself in television, chocolate, and wine until she fell asleep on the couch.
Glancing over at her appointment book, she groaned. This wouldn’t be an easy session. How could she have forgotten that her mother was coming in to have her hair done today? She had a standing appointment every two months for Pepper to touch up her roots, trim her ends, and give her a conditioning treatment to keep her curly hair from getting too frizzy. Of course, a lot had happened in the last two months since they booked this appointment.
She had managed to avoid her mother lately. After the awkward family dinner where Logan found out the truth, Pepper had tried to keep her distance. Doubly so after she broke up with Grant and Logan stopped talking to her. She didn’t need her mother being smug about it, or even trying to comfort her. Both would just make her angry.
The bell on the door chimed and when Pepper looked up, she saw her mother standing cautiously in the doorway. Her dark eyes were lined and wary as she pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head. It looked like they were both dreading this appointment today.
Pepper pasted on a smile and called her mother back to the chair. The sooner they started, the sooner they’d finish. “Hi, Mom.”
Kate stowed her purse and settled into the chair. “Hey, baby.”
Pepper wrapped the cape around her and tried to focus on her work instead of the concerned pinch of her mother’s brows.
“Are we touching up the roots today or doing something more dramatic?”
“I’ve had enough drama in my life the last few days,” she answered. “Let’s just cover the grays it caused.”
“Okay,” Pepper said. “I’ll just run in the back and get your color mixed up. Do you need anything?” She started to pull away, but her mother’s hand shot out from under the cape and grasped her wrist.
“I need you to sit down for a second and talk to me.”
Pepper glanced nervously at Sarah. Her client had just left and she was on the phone. As if she sensed the tension, Sarah looked at her for a moment, then disappeared into the back room. Bless her. “Here?” she asked.
Kate nodded. “Please, Pepper. I heard about what happened between you and Logan the other day.”
“I don’t really want to talk about that, Mama.”
“Pepper—” she pleaded.
“No, there’s no point. Grant and I broke up, so there’s no need to worry any longer about your children fighting or of me falling into the wicked clutches of the Chamberlains. I’ve lost the best relationship I’ve ever had because of your choices, so I hope you’re happy.”
“Happy?” Kate looked at her with an expression of pure disappointment. “Why on earth do you think any of this has made me happy? My kids aren’t speaking to each other, or to me. My daughter is miserable and I worry my son is on the verge of challenging his biological father to a duel in the square. Do you think this is how I wanted things to turn out for my children?”
Pepper frowned. “No, probably not,” she admitted, slumping down into Sarah’s styling chair.
“Despite what you might think, I didn’t set out to ruin your life, Pepper. The minute I got pregnant, I was trapped in a no-win situation. Norman was out of the picture and I was left with a handful of unpleasant choices and no one I could turn to but your father. When he said he would marry me and we would raise the baby as his, it was like a last-minute pardon. I didn’t think about how it would play out thirty years later, and for that, I’m sorry. But I wasn’t worried about what Logan would think if he found out the truth years later. I was just trying to get through those next few weeks and months.
“If I could go stand in the square and announce my sins to the whole town to make you and Logan happy, I would. I’d gladly accept my punishment for being young and stupid. But I can’t. This isn’t my choice anymore. It’s Logan’s choice. You were right when you insisted he had to know
the truth. But now that he does, what happens is up to him. I will support whatever decision he makes. Just as I’ll support any decision you make.”
Pepper glanced at the doorway to the back room, but there was still no sign of Sarah. She knew her mother was right. It was easy to blame her, but in the end, she knew her mother had done the best she could with what she was given.
“That includes making the choice of dating a Chamberlain. I’m sorry I gave you so much grief about that. You’re a smart girl. You’re not going to make the same mistakes I did. I should’ve been more supportive.”
Pepper’s gaze searched her mother’s face for signs she was lying, but found only sincerity there. “Thank you for saying that, Mama.” That was a huge concession on her part.
“I’m sorry to have to say it too late. I hate that you and Grant split up. You seemed really happy with him, despite the toll it took on you because of your pigheaded family.”
Pepper shook her head, dismissing all the second thoughts she’d had since their fight ended. “That’s okay. It’s better this way,” she insisted.
Kate’s mouth drew tight with concern as she watched her daughter. “Do you really believe that, Pepper?”
Pepper looked at her mother with no answer coming immediately to mind. She supposed that meant she didn’t believe it. Her chest started to tighten uncomfortably at the thought and she was suddenly on the verge of tears. She didn’t want to cry at work. She’d depended on staying busy to get her through this.
Sarah walked back into the room just then. Taking this as her cue to end the conversation, Pepper stood up. “I’m going to get that color mixed up. I’ll be right back,” she said, disappearing into the back room before she completely lost it.
“Let’s go for a walk, big man.”
Feeding the Fire: A Rosewood Novel Page 23
