by Jez Strider
A knock on the door left his words unsaid and jaw tense. “They’re early.”
“Who?” I stood up.
He crossed the room to the front door and opened it. A middle-aged, curly headed woman with short hair stood there with a young boy. She lifted her hand in greeting.
“Mum, this is Farrah Caine.” He gestured to me.
I smiled meekly and lifted my hand in return. “Nice to meet you.”
My voice was nearly drowned out by the child running into Gavyn’s arms and screaming, “Dad!” The boy was grinning, the same one from the photo.
“Nice to meet you, too. Have fun, kids.”
“Bye, Mum.” Gavyn said before closing the door after she’d walked away.
Completely caught off guard, I couldn’t find any words to say. How could I speak when I hadn’t even been able to process what had happened or how I felt about it?
The kid skipped over to me when Gavyn set him down, wild curls bouncing. He was missing two front teeth. The child extended his hand. “Hi! I’m Mac.”
I shook his hand. “Farrah.”
“Dad never brings girls home.” He placed his hands on his hips as if determining my worth.
“Malcolm, go play in your room for a few minutes while I talk to my friend,” Gavyn said.
“Girlfriend.” Mac corrected before running across the living room to the hall and opening the closed door I’d passed earlier.
“They were early. I wanted to talk to you and explain before they arrived.” Gavyn told me after Mac shut the door behind him.
When he walked toward me, I backed up and made my way around the table, heading for the door. “Don’t you think telling me you have a kid would have been a good idea, oh I don’t know, on our first date?”
“Hey, I understand that it’s a shock. I needed to make sure we were heading into a serious relationship and that you weren’t crazy. I don’t bring random women into his life.” He reached out to me and I glanced down at the floor.
“Where’s his mother?” I asked. “I knew you were too good to be true.”
Regret filled Gavyn’s usually cheerful eyes. “She killed herself. I’m not sure if it was because of the disappointment that came from her parents or something post-partum.”
“I’m sorry.” I grabbed the handle of my bag. He reached out, gently grasping my arm.
“Please don’t go.”
“I’m not sure that I ever want kids. I moved to Miami so I’d have the freedom to live my life the way I want and heal old wounds.”
He sighed, releasing my arm and rubbing his hand over his face. “I’m not asking you to be a mother.”
“No, you just wanted to make sure I fell in love with you before telling me you were a father.” My lip trembled and I bit down to stop it.
“I love you, too. That’s why I want you in my life. I wasn’t trying to be deceitful. Try to think of this from my point of view.”
I picked up my overnight bag and turned the doorknob behind me. “I need time to myself. Enjoy your weekend.”
“Does this mean… we’re done?” His voice sounded pained. The sound of regret tore at my heart.
“I don’t know.”
I exited the apartment that had seemed so welcoming and warm without another word. Before I knew it, I was running. I stopped at the elevator and pressed the button. When the sliding metal doors didn’t open, I headed for the stairs. I didn’t breathe until I was outside with hot tears running down my cheeks. For a while, I wandered aimlessly as I thought about my behavior.
Had I overreacted? I didn’t think so, but that did little to change how heartbroken and betrayed I felt.
I should have known better than to open my heart.
Chapter 14
Later that evening, I had returned home. Gavyn was blowing up my phone with calls and texts. I tired of reading the apologies and shoved my phone underneath a couch cushion so I wouldn’t be tempted respond. Everything had gone to hell too quickly. I didn’t dislike his kid. My first impression was that he was a cool little dude. But… Gavyn had been right about one thing. If I’d known he had a child, I would have never gone out with him.
Everything in my apartment reminded me of Gavyn. The painting of him as a spy was leaning against the wall where he’d left it earlier. I grumbled, heading to my fridge to get milk for a bowl of cereal. Even in the refrigerator, I was reminded of him. A pudding pack he’d bought for me to eat after I’d had my tooth pulled was behind the half gallon jug.
I shoved the milk back inside and slammed the door. I rested my hands against the freezer top, the surface cool to the touch. “I hate this world sometimes,” I said aloud.
Several knocks at my door made me jump in surprise. It hadn’t occurred to me that Gavyn would come to my house when I didn’t respond to his messages. I crossed the room with purpose and jerked open the door. “I told you I needed time,” I said before realizing it was Brody once again paying an unannounced visit.
“Seriously, you can’t stop by whenever you want.” I walked away and slumped into a nearby chair.
“Have you been crying?” He asked, stepping inside. A large plastic dry cleaning bag was draped over his arm and he was dressed for a party. Black suit, jacket, and that familiar lavender tie.
“No, I have allergies,” I lied.
“So here’s the deal. Both of our families are in town for an intervention.”
“Tell me you’re kidding.” I buried my face in my hands, but had to laugh a little at the absurdity of the situation. “I’m not on drugs.”
He sat down on the arm of my chair and massaged my shoulder gently with one hand. “Not that kind. We’re just going out to dinner as the family we’re meant to be. They think it’ll do you some good to come to terms with things that happened and to spend time with the people that love you.”
“How can my parents forgive you? I don’t understand.”
“That night, Franklin was as drunk as I was. He chose to get in the vehicle. It was his idea to take your car for a spin to piss you off.”
“You’re blaming my dead brother.”
“Never. I’ve been through hell these past few months. He was going to be my family when I married you.”
Several times I sucked in air between my teeth, trying to keep from crying. Then my chest heaved and the sobs came. I turned my head, burying my face against Brody’s arm. He cradled me to him and let me get it out of my system.
“I never could stand to see you cry,” He whispered.
“Why didn’t you come sooner? It’s too late now.”
He stroked my hair. “I wouldn’t have been able to look you in the eye. There were a lot of things I had to work through. I’m never going to be the same guy I used to be.”
I pulled away from him and wiped at my eyes with the back of my hands. “It would be rude to avoid my parents after they made the trip.”
“They miss you. Not only do they feel like they’ve lost Franklin, but they’ve lost you, too.”
“I’ll go to dinner for them. It doesn’t mean I’m getting back together with you.”
He stood up and lifted the plastic covering to reveal the dress beneath it. It was the lavender evening gown from my birthday party. The one I’d worn when he asked me to marry him. I reached out and ran my fingertips along the silk charmeuse fabric.
“I’ll go change.”
Brody handed me the gown, nodded, and watched me disappear into the bathroom. If not for the shocking evening with Gavyn, I probably wouldn’t have agreed. As it was, I was severely in need of a dose of the familiar. Maybe the time had come to go home.
Four months earlier—
“Give me a kiss before you go.” I grabbed a handful of polo shirt and jerked Brody close. Even after the kiss had ended, I refused to let him go.
“Quit worrying. It’s just me, your brother, and a few of our buddies hanging out at the guest house by the lake.”
“No strippers?” I asked for what had to be the f
ifteenth time.
“Not unless your brother gets drunk and starts dancing again,” Brody joked.
“He looks so stupid when he does that.” I sighed and shook my head.
“You can give me a lap dance before I go,” He whispered, holding his arms out like he was about to tackle me.
I stepped backward and grinned. “I might tomorrow if you behave tonight.”
Brody scooped me up like I was already his bride and it was our wedding night .Then, he tossed me on the bed. Immediately, he started tickling me. “I only get one bachelor party. In a few weeks, we’ll be married.”
“Fine, fine! Go!” I screamed between the laughter. Anything to make the tickling stop.
He kissed my lips and poked me one more time in the ribs. “I love you, Fairy.”
“I love you, Brodacious.”
If I had known it was the last time I’d say it and we would be a couple, I’d have savored the moment and appreciated it longer.
I was abruptly awakened by a loud knocking at my bedroom door hours later. As I sat up, my father walked into the room with an expression of turmoil I’d never seen on his face before. I glanced at my clock. Nearly 6:30 a.m. The darkness of night was beginning to fade.
“What happened?” My hands squeezed into tight fists around my blanket.
My father sat down heavily on the side of the bed as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. “There was an accident.”
I gasped, “Brody? Franklin?” Tears were in my eyes before I’d even heard the bad news.
“Brody has a broken leg and a few cracked ribs, some cuts and bruises.” He choked up a little, but cleared his throat and somehow kept composed.
“And Franklin?”
“They were driving too fast in your car. You know how your brother loved it. Brody was driving. They were both drunk. They veered off the road, hit the dock, and the car ended up in the water.”
“I have to go see Franklin. He’s in the hospital, right?”
Slowly, my father shook his head. “He didn’t make it. One of the guys at the bachelor party was able to swim down and get Brody, but it was too late for your brother.”
“Too late,” I repeated. My entire world crumbled on those two words. No more brother, no more fiancé, and no more dreams. “Mom?” I asked.
“They gave her some medicine. She’ll be sleeping for a while.”
“What… can I do?”
He stood and moved toward my door slowly. “Nothing.” When he saw I wasn’t crying, he forced an exhausted smile, and left me alone.
The tears that had been forming in my eyes somehow dried up. My brother was my best friend, but the agony was beyond shedding simple tears. He was dead because of my fiancé, because of me. If I hadn’t been getting married, he wouldn’t have been at the party. Or if I hadn’t asked for the stupid car for my birthday a few years beforehand… maybe he’d be home and alive.
I threw off my blankets and ran to my closet. I packed a suitcase with some clothing and picked up my purse on my way out the door. There was nothing left for me.
After a bus ride and several hours in a taxi, I ended up in Miami. The city was fresh and new. It was a perfect place for me to start over and forget all the memories, whether they were good or bad. Remembering was far too painful.
The memory didn’t hurt like it had before. I still missed my brother, but something had changed. I had changed. Running had been my way of coping, anger my fuel. All that rage had been wasted energy because in the end, I was harming myself because of it.
I’d been leaning on the white sink basin, gripping it so tightly that my knuckles matched the porcelain bowl. I looked at myself in the mirror and I could see what the grief had done to me. I hardly recognized the sad girl. This was not what my fun loving brother would have wanted.
I pulled my hair halfway up and secured it with a large clip. The lower locks draped over my shoulders and onto the lavender gown. I exited the bathroom. Brody was examining the manic paintings on the wall closely.
“Ready,” I said.
His eyes widened when he turned around and I glimpsed the pain he tried to hide. For a second, I thought he would breakdown. I think he realized I’d never be the same girl he’d fallen in love with. “Beautiful.”
“Are you allowed to drive?”
He frowned. “I wanted to be punished, go to jail, but my father made sure I got off the hook since it was private property and all.”
“You and I both know, there’s not much that money can’t buy.”
“Money can’t get me anything I want,” He whispered, extending his hand to tell me to go first.
“Be glad. It wouldn’t mean much if you could buy love.”
Chapter 15
When we walked into the five-star restaurant and were led to the table to meet our parents, I suddenly wished I was at the crab shack instead of the stuffy building. My desire for the familiar was fading quickly.
My mother was out of her seat and hugging me before we reached the table. After she let go, my father had a turn, as did Brody’s parents. It was awkward and unlike all of them. I could tell they were all curious to find out whether or not I’d gone crazy.
“She’s gained weight, hasn’t she?” Mom checked my dress at the waist. “Don’t worry, dear, we can have the tailor size it when we get home.” She looked as she always did and I was used to her roundabout criticism. For my entire life, I’d either been too fat or too skinny. Occasionally I was both at the same time. How that was possible, I’d never figured out.
I started to argue that I wasn’t going home when our waiter arrived with a bottle of wine. We all took a seat as he served the expensive red alcohol. It amazed me that any of them could drink after what had happened to my brother. Of course, I logically knew the difference in drinking and in drinking responsibly, but the thought of it still made me ill.
I straightened the silverware on each side of my plate. Then I sipped from my ice water. “How has everyone been?” I asked.
“Good, good. Your father is building a new pool house and I’ve been gardening. The York’s have been traveling while Brody runs the firm.” My mother was jubilant. I sent her a text occasionally to let her know I was still alive, but we didn’t communicate often.
“Where have you gone?” I asked, turning my attention to Brody’s parents.
“We sailed for a while. Our last trip was to Australia. Remember when we all went on a safari there?” Mrs. York asked. She’d been a blonde bombshell in her day. Brody obviously got his good looks from her and not her sourpuss of a husband.
“That was fun. I must have been about ten.”
Brody laughed a little. “I tried to get you to jump out of the car and climb into a kangaroo’s pouch.”
“I would have, but I was terrified of being grounded while on vacation.” I smiled. This wasn’t going as bad as I expected.
Mr. York swirled his wine and inhaled the scent before taking a drink. “She was well-behaved at that age.” The remark may have been casual, but it stirred up my anger.
Conversation was going downhill quickly. That’s what I get for being optimistic. The dinner was a mistake and I should have known better. I managed to keep my cool and brought up something positive. “School is going well. I enjoy it.”
My father frowned, looking even less pleased than Mr. York. “I’m sure it is fun with all the partying and easy classes. It is art, after all. When are you going to return home?”
“Thank you all for the evening, but I think I will be leaving.” Everyone at the table stared at me silently when I stood and threw my napkin forcefully onto the table. Other patrons glanced in our direction and whispered.
“Sit down,” my father ordered.
“You all loved me when I behaved the way you wanted.” I shot a pointed glare in Mr. York’s direction. “I’m still the same person, only a better version. I don’t need your money and I don’t need your approval. Enjoy your trip home.” My father repeated
his command that I sit down and something about the intensity of his voice made me listen.
“That’s better.” He lifted his briefcase from the floor and set it on the table in front of him. The locks gave a familiar snap as he opened it and gathered a stack of papers. “I didn’t want it to come to this.”
“Come to what?” I asked cautiously.
He handed me the documents and I scanned over them with increasing terror. “Conservatorship? This is a fabrication. I haven’t even seen my therapist since before Franklin’s death, how could she sign off on this and say I’m suicidal and a danger to myself and others?”
My mother looked regretful, but didn’t speak up on my behalf. Mr. York was smug and I knew it was probably his idea. He was a ruthless lawyer adept at manipulating the system. Beside me, Brody glared angrily at my father and then his.
Father sighed, “That’s your copy. I haven’t filed anything yet. You have two weeks to return home or I swear I’ll go through with it. Come home, represent this family as you should, and marry Brody. I’m done making excuses for your absence.”
“Do you hate me so much to stoop to this level?” I fought back the tears, blinking rapidly.
“Hate has nothing to do with it. You’ll thank me eventually.” He lifted his wine to his lips and took a sip. “I’m doing this for you. I’d hate to see my remaining child end up a dope fiend or pregnant with a bastard baby.”
“Your faith in me is heartwarming,” I said through clenched teeth as I stood once more.
I hurried toward the door, holding up my dress so it didn’t drag the floor or cause me to trip. Brody was behind me. I glanced back, but he didn’t say a word. When we were outside, I screamed in frustration.
“So that didn’t go as planned. I told them not to press you to go home,” Brody said.
“Did you know about this? Do not lie to me.” My back was to him.
“I didn’t. On my life, I had no idea. I swear.”
I wheeled around to face him, but instead of anger, I felt pity for him. “I loved you once, but I’m certain we’re not meant to be together.”
