“I hope so.” She exhaled a shaky breath. “I miss her already.”
I looked over at the fresh grave, blinking away the moisture that gathered in my eyes. “So do I.”
She tilted her head up. “She loved you, Adam.”
“I loved her.” I traced a finger down her cheek. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for either of you.”
“You’re here now.”
“Too late to say goodbye.”
“Elena hated goodbyes. She always said ‘until next time.’ ”
I lifted my hand and blew a kiss in the direction of the sky. “Until then, you minx.” A tear slid down my cheek. Another followed in its path.
Ally cupped my cheek. “Let it out,” she whispered.
I pulled her to me, burying my face into her neck as the emotion crested. I mourned for Elena and for the future she would never see. I had wanted her to see us married. To hold our first child in her arms and know, beyond any doubt, her girl was safe and cared for and would be the rest of her life. I had wanted to hear more of her stories and tease her so she laughed. Share another hundred different scotches with her. Let her take my money and give it to whatever charity she wanted. Send her flowers every week for another twenty years.
Kiss her downy cheek and hear her call me boy.
I had only known her a short time, but she meant as much to me as Ally did. She had become my family and her death hit me hard.
I felt Ally’s shoulders shaking again and she held me fiercely.
Together we mourned the loss of someone we loved.
—
“Impossible!” Ronald shouted, standing abruptly. “I’ll contest!”
Elena’s lawyer, Andrew, shook his head. “You’ll lose.”
Ally and I shared a glance. The day after the funeral, we had received a call, telling us to be present when Elena’s will was read. Ronald and Sarah hadn’t been happy to see us, and had barely acknowledged our presence. Why we were there quickly became apparent.
Elena had left me a million dollars and a note. When I opened the envelope, her spidery writing filled the elegant stationery.
When the time comes, you’ll know what to do with this.
Remember your promise.
Look after my girl. I trust you, boy. I love you.
—Elena
Shaking my head, I grinned. Always with the last word. I refolded the paper—I had no idea what she wanted, but I’d invest the money and figure it out. And I would look after Ally the rest of my life.
She left a million to Ronald. Ally received two million. The rest went to a fund that would benefit the local animal shelters for a very long time.
I wasn’t sure what Ronald was objecting to the most. He didn’t need the money. I had a feeling it was the money she left Ally and me—combined—and what it essentially meant.
Her final act had been to do what she couldn’t do while she was alive.
Set Ally free.
She was no longer beholden to Ronald. She could walk away from the apartment she disliked, pay him back the money he said she owed him and be done. She didn’t have to accept anyone’s help to do so. All her “debts” would be paid.
As I observed him, I realized that was it. He didn’t give a crap that she left me something or that most of it went to helping animals.
His power over Ally was gone, and he hated it. He could no longer make her pay for a crime he felt she committed. One she was never guilty of in the first place.
I lowered my head so he didn’t see my smirk.
Silently, I sent a thank-you to the minx.
She got him in the end.
Chapter 16
Days passed and we remained mostly in solitude. We went for walks; I took Ally out for a few rides on the bike and we stayed close. She was quieter than normal, rarely starting a conversation, but when I engaged her, she would respond. The first time she laughed, she stopped, her eyes widening and her hand covering her mouth. Gently, I pulled it away.
“Don’t. Elena loved to hear you laugh. She’d want you to. She wanted you to be happy.” I stroked her cheek. “She wouldn’t want us to mourn her—she’d want us to keep going and do everything we talked about.”
Ally only nodded, but it was her suggestion the next day to go for a picnic. It was a sunny day and I agreed enthusiastically, pleased she seemed a little more herself today. We drove out of the city, finding a great little park off the beaten track I’d been to before. With the blanket spread out and a basket filled with tidbits she had made, we spent the afternoon in lazy enjoyment. I leaned back against the large tree and simply looked at her—lying in the dappled sun, her hair spread around her, she was lovely. Her eyes were shut, one arm tucked behind her head; she looked the most peaceful I’d seen her since I got home. Unable to resist, I lifted my camera, capturing her with my lens. My collection of images of her was large. I loved catching her different moods and expressions. Her eyes said so much when she looked at me—warm and filled with love, even when I pissed her off.
Like I was doing now, taking her picture.
She cracked one eye open. “Put the camera away. You have enough pictures of me.”
“Never.”
“I look a mess today; I have no makeup on and I’m in your shirt and a pair of sweatpants—hardly attractive.”
“I disagree,” I informed her, continuing to snap away. “You’re beautiful to me no matter what you’re wearing.”
She sat up, her face serious. “You think that, don’t you? You really think I’m beautiful.”
I lowered the camera. “I don’t think it—I know it. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. With or without makeup.”
I held out my hand, pulling her onto my lap. Brushing her hair away from her face, I ran my fingers over her silky skin. “I love you, Nightingale.”
“I love you,” she whispered. “So much, Adam.”
I gathered her close, taking her mouth. Her lips were pliant underneath mine, molding beneath the pressure. My tongue swept across her bottom lip and slipped inside, tasting her sweetness. Her warm breath filled my mouth, her low sigh igniting my passion that had been dormant the past few days. She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding tight, returning my desire. Our tongues danced and stroked, the kiss becoming deeper and profound. Gentle became powerful. Our caressing hands became fists as we tugged, ridding ourselves of the thin barrier of clothing that kept us apart.
Ally was wrapped around me, her body welcoming my aching, needy cock. Her full breasts rubbed along my chest as she started to move over me. She buried her hands into my hair as our kisses became frantic. Her sounds escalated as we moved faster, our bodies coming together in perfect rhythm. Long, hard thrusts. Deep, wet, needy kisses. Our hips moved, mouths fused and damp skin rubbed together in the most erotic way.
The bark of the tree dug into my back as I guided her hips, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was this moment—reconnecting with the woman I loved so hard, I ached with the feeling. Pleasure so intense it made me groan loudly rushed through me as we lost ourselves to each other.
She surrounded me. Her scent, her sounds, the feeling of completion only she brought out in me. The push and pull of her body as it tightened was intense. Her breaths became small pants in my mouth. Every thrust made me groan as her muscles contracted around me, milking me. Small whimpers made me clutch her tighter. Every ripple of pleasure down my spine intensified as my release threatened. Long shivers ran through her, the hold on my hair tightening to the point it was almost painful. She arched back, her mouth leaving mine, crying out in her release. “Adam!”
I surged into her, burying my face in her neck. My hands tensed on her hips, slamming her down as I spilled deep inside her, my orgasm burning through my body like a trail of wildfire.
“Fuck…Ally…” I groaned into her damp skin, my teeth clamping down as the pleasure became too great and I rode it out cursing and moaning. Never had I experienced this intense, emotional conne
ction with someone. Never had another person overwhelmed me the way she did.
Every. Single. Time.
She shuddered, falling against me heavily. I held her briefly, then leaned over and grabbed my shirt, pulled it back over her head. “I don’t want you cold,” I murmured. “And I love how you look in my clothes.” I kissed the end of her nose. “Although taking you out of them is one of my favorite things to do.”
“What are your other favorites?” She nuzzled into my chest.
“Listening to your laugh. Seeing you. Hearing you say you love me.” I sighed, running my hand through her hair. “Anything to do with you is my favorite.”
“I feel the same about you.”
From the corner of the blanket where I kicked my pants, my phone rang, the noise shrill and loud in the silence that surrounded us. She tensed in my arms.
Sean hadn’t bothered me since I came home, but I knew that wouldn’t last very long.
“Do you have to?” she whispered.
“I promised. The sooner I go back and fulfill my word, the sooner I’m done.”
“You’ll be careful?”
I let the call go to voicemail. Holding her face between my hands, I nodded. “Yes.”
“Vivian wants me to go back to work, as well.”
“We have to move forward. Get through the next few weeks, and then we can start our new life together. We can do this, right?”
She nodded, although her eyes were sad. “Right.”
—
Weeks later, her eyes were more than sad. For the first time, the words I had dreaded ever hearing were spoken.
“Don’t go,” she pleaded. “Please, Adam, don’t go.”
I stilled in the busy task of packing my equipment, my eyes shutting at the level of desperation in her voice. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.
“It’s the last time.”
“That’s what you said before—and the time before that.”
I turned to face her.
She was right.
The trip to Africa had been postponed while details were worked out and paperwork procured. Now, two weeks past the time I should have been returning, I was just leaving. In addition, I was going for an extra week. Massive storms had torn through the entire country, setting off wildfires and causing devastation everywhere. Sean wanted as much of it documented as we could get. Chris and Tommy were coming with me, and then we would meet with Larry, the man writing the article, and do the feature for Sean.
It was my last assignment. But with the additional time waiting and the strange weather around the world, I had barely been home. Ally and I would reconnect for a short interval, then once again I’d be gone, leaving her behind. Each time it got harder.
She tried to be brave and strong, but I knew it was getting too much for her. She missed Elena terribly, her grief overwhelming her at times. She cried a lot and she was too thin. Our time together was permeated in sadness, and we were both argumentative and tense.
“This is it. I promise. I’ll finish this and come home to you.” I stepped forward, my hand held out in supplication. “Then I’m done.”
“Are you?”
I frowned. “Yes. You know that.”
“No, I don’t. You keep finding excuses to leave.”
Excuses?
“I can’t help the weather conditions, Ally,” I said, beginning to feel impatient. “You knew what I did when we started—what my life was like. You know this is the last assignment. What the hell is going on?”
“Are you really ready to give this up, Adam? Are you regretting your decision?”
I stared at her aghast. That was what she thought? She was doubting me? Doubting us?
“No,” I snapped. “I don’t regret anything, except your lack of faith. I said I would go, and I’m sorry for the extra time, but I gave my word.”
Her voice became angry, her eyes flashing. “What about your word to me? To Elena? You said you’d stop!”
“I will. I know the schedule got fucked up, but it’s almost done, Ally. What the hell else can I do?”
“I don’t know if I believe you! You keep leaving me alone, Adam!” Her voice rose. “I hate it!”
Shock and anger coursed through me. I had never heard her raise her voice or speak with so much venom. What the fuck was happening? I drew in a deep breath, trying to keep calm. I spoke in a firm voice. “I’ve never lied to you. Exactly what are you accusing me of?”
“I’m not accusing you of anything.”
“Sounds like you are,” I bit out, angry and defensive.
She didn’t back down. “I don’t think you lied knowingly. But I’m not sure you’re ready to close the door on that part of your life. I’m not sure you want to stop.”
I counted to ten before I spoke.
“I do. I want to move onto a different life with you. I’ve been away a lot—way more than I wanted to be gone. I know you’re still mourning Elena, and without her here or Emma around, you’re lonely.” I also knew her parents still made things difficult for her every chance they had. “I hate being away from you as much as you hate me going. But I gave Sean my word, and I will follow through on it. I owe him that.”
“What about what you owe me?”
Her words threw me. Her entire demeanor was wrong. Everything about this was wrong. We were both tired, stressed, and on edge. We hadn’t made love when we went to bed last night, an unusual occurrence, both of us silent and still, an invisible barrier keeping us apart. I didn’t understand what had brought this on. Had she reached the end of her rope? Was this grief talking? Had Sarah managed to plant a seed of doubt when they had lunch the day before?
“What did your mother say to you yesterday?” I demanded.
“Nothing.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Now who’s lying? She must have said something to make you act like this.”
“Stop blaming my mother for everything. This is about you leaving, not her stupid remarks!”
“Bullshit. I think one has a lot to do with the other. She knows exactly how to get to you.” I tossed a lens into my bag. “Stay busy while I’m gone. Go see Emma. Avoid your mother.”
“Right. Emma’s not been available in case you haven’t noticed that, either—she couldn’t even come for the funeral. She’s been sick and busy, so I’m not going to bother her.” She tossed her hair. “Maybe I’ll have coffee with Bradley. At least he’s around.”
My hand tightened on my case. I knew they occasionally bumped into each other—she had never hidden the fact. She was always upfront and honest. I knew she was goading me now, because she had never taken him up on his coffee invitations.
“That’s low,” I seethed, now really pissed. “Are you fucking trying to hurt me? Or do you really want to start a war here?”
She shrugged, the action dismissive. “No. It’s just coffee.” She glared at me. “You don’t own me, Adam. I can have coffee with a friend. Or do you not trust me?”
“Of course I do. It’s him I don’t trust.”
“If I thought he was going to do something, I wouldn’t see him. He’s just a friend. Stop acting like I can’t look after myself.”
“Yeah,” I spat. “You’ve done a great job of that so far.”
Her eyes widened, and she held up her hands. “Wow. I think we need to stop before this gets even uglier. You need to pack. Your plane leaves in a few hours. Can’t have you missing that,” she added, then started to walk away, but I grabbed her arm.
“Don’t ask me to leave without us resolving this. I don’t want to go knowing you’re angry and upset.”
And planning on spending time with Bradley.
“And I don’t want you to go. I guess neither one of us is going to get what we want.”
My anger reached its limits, and I shouted. “What do you want from me, Ally? I’m fucking being pulled in every direction here! I don’t want to go, but I have to because I promised Sean I would! There’s an entire crew waiting for me. I hav
e obligations!”
“Fuck your obligations!” she hissed, shaking my hand off her arm.
“Fuck my obligations?” I snarled back to her. I pulled my hand through my hair in vexation. “You’re one to talk. You know all about obligations, Alexandra. You let them rule your life,” I yelled. “At least mine are ones I willingly agreed to, not something I do out of misdirected guilt!”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. She stepped back as if I had slapped her. I reached out, yanking her to my chest. She fought against me, but I refused to let her go. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean that. I can’t do this with you. Not right now. I have to go. I need to know you understand and when I come back that’s it. I won’t leave you again.” I held her tighter. “Tell me you know that, please.”
Sadness saturated her statement. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep doing this anymore.”
My heart hammered in my chest at her words. It felt as if she was giving up on us.
“Don’t do this to me, to us,” I pleaded. “I can’t leave you like this.”
She pulled back. “But you’ll leave me anyway.”
“And you’ll see Bradley.”
“Not to get back at you. As a friend. Just a friend I can visit with so I’m not alone all the time.”
We stared at each other, frozen at an impasse. She was pale, and I saw the vulnerability and apprehension she was trying to cover. Elena’s death had made her fears of me getting hurt even stronger. My anger subsided, and I chose my next words carefully.
“Are you really going to do this? After everything we’ve been through? You’re going to make me choose? Force me to tell Sean I won’t follow through on my promise and stay here because you don’t believe me anymore?”
She blanched, her eyes filling with tears. I gazed at her drawn face and made a decision, reaching behind her for my phone.
“If that’s what you need—if that’s what I have to do to prove this to you, then I will. I’ll call Sean and resign right now. You win.”
All of the fight went out of her. Her shoulders slumped and her head dropped. Her emotions were all over the place, making me apprehensive. I needed her to talk to me, but she was shutting down.
My Image of You Page 17
