Mama, Jenny said, exasperation in her voice, we all know it was arrangedbut Louisa was not at its heart, not part of its planning. It was a trap set for me, and poor Lady Louisa sprang it. And unfortunately got caught in it.
Unfortunately indeed. It should have been you. He is your duke and Lady Louisa took advantage of the situation to ensure that she ended up with him rather than you! She knew full well what she was getting herself into, and she calculatingly barged ahead
Enough! a voice barked from the doorway.
Louisa jumped to her feet and spun around, unable to refrain from grimacing. The Duke of Hawkhurst stood just inside the study doorobviously deciding that since he was expected, he needed no servant to introduce him. One side of his face was badly battered and bruised, the area beneath his eye terribly swollen. It had to be incredibly painful.
You are speaking about the daughter of an earl and my future duchess. I would take care with the words you choose to use, madam, Hawkhurst said, a warning shimmering beneath his voice that had Mrs. Rose taking a step back, Mr. Rose coming to his feet, and Jeremy taking a step forward.
Jenny and Kate exchanged glances as though Hawkhursts words pleased them. No doubt because they gave the impression that he intended to marry Louisa. Well, she needed to set everyone straight on that account.
She cleared her throat. Your Grace, it seems you and I have several matters to discuss.
Indeed we do, and none of them concern these people. I would appreciate their taking their leave.
Jeremy took another step forward. You cant possibly believe after what happened last night that Im going to leave you alone with her.
The damage has been done, and the time for protecting her is long past, Hawkhurst said. The rectifying of this situation does not require an audience.
The hell it doesnt, Jeremy said. Im not leaving this room, so you may have the opportunity to intimidate and bully her
Ive just stated that shes to be my future duchess. The terms of that arrangement are none of your concern.
I have no plans to marry you, Louisa said.
Hawkhurst swung his gaze around, clearly dumbfounded by her remark. She had to resist the temptation to cross over to him and press her cool palm against his poor cheek.
I beg your pardon? Hawkhurst said.
Louisa shook her head. I wont marry you.
Why ever not?
Taking a deep breath she walked up to him. Closer to him, she could see that his chin sported an ugly bruise as well. Jeremy had done significant damage. She didnt resist this time. She reached up and touched the bruise. He flinched. She lowered her hand, blinked back tears.
I am not what you need, she whispered. I have all of eight pounds to my name. I am not who you want, I am not the one you were expecting to arrive in the library last night. Only a few people know what occurred, and they will hold their tongues. My reputation is intact. No reason remains to take drastic measures.
And if you are with child? he ground out.
She stared at him. But She couldnt find the words. But it only happened once.
He leaned nearer. That, sweetheart, is all it takes.
Her knees were suddenly weak, and her legs had no more consistency than her morning porridge. She must have looked on the verge of swooning, because his hand was suddenly supporting her, and he was leading her to a couch. As soon as she was near enough, she sank onto the stuffed cushions.
He knelt before her. Surely you are not that innocent.
Pressing her hand to her mouth, she shook her head. My mother never spoke of such things to me before she died. I had a notion of what occurred, but I was unclear on the particulars. And who was there for me to ask? Alex?
With gentleness shed not have expected of him, he reached out and, with his fingers, feathered stray strands of her hair back from her face. So now you see the need for us to wed.
Again, she shook her head. Not unless Im with child. When will I know?
Not for a few months. The fact that there is a possibility that you are with child means we must wed now. I will have no scandal surrounding my heir.
Your heir?
He grimaced, then winced. Or my wife.
This was wrong. All of the reasons for him marrying her were wrong, and yet if she was with child, no reason was more compelling than protecting the child. She looked past him to the one person shed never thought to turn to for advice. Mrs. Rose, when and how will I know if Im with child?
Mrs. Rose squared her shoulders as though about to face unpleasantness. It is much easier for a woman to know for certain that she is not rather than that she is. There are signs I will not mention in front of gentlemen, but a doctor cant confirm a ladys delicate condition for a few months.
With the confirmation of Hawkhursts understanding of the situation, Louisa couldnt help but wonder if hed placed another lady in this predicamentand been unwilling to marry her. How else would he have known?
Gathering her strength and conviction about her like a well-worn cloak, Louisa came to her feet, waited until Hawkhurst had also come to his. She met his gaze. In a few months at the latest, Your Grace, I shall give you my answer.
With that, she walked out of the room that had become as quiet as a tomb.
His mother would never forgive him. Hed never forgive himself. He didnt want people to know his childs birth date and count backward, raise eyebrows, and give a pompous, knowing look.
He threw the brandy to the back of his throat, felt it burn its way down.
Hed wanted to rush after Louisa, drop to his knees in front of her, beg her to reconsider, but he had some pride when it came to his manhood. With both Rose men watching, hed prepared to take his leave.
Mrs. Rose had stepped forward to stop him. It appears you are still on the market, Your Grace. Would you care to join us for breakfast?
He had politely declined.
He had returned home to pace the quiet halls that were devoid of all servants except his valet. The man stayed with him, because he had a penchant for rat fight betting and with a run of luck hed managed to put aside some money for a rainy afternoon. Hawk was beginning to wonder if the sun would ever again shine.
Hed not handled the situation at all well. His face ached. His anger seethed just below the surface, anger at Louisa for coming to the library to begin with. If she had stayed away, his trousers would have remained buttoned, her skirts would have remained lowered.
But she had waltzed into the room, a temptation beyond measure. The fire in his blood had instantly boiled. Have her once and be done with it. Conquer and move on.
And yet he sat there tonight wanting her more than hed ever wanted her.
He poured more brandy into his glass and downed it.
There could be only one explanation for his continued interest in her. He had yet to conquer her. She had refused his proposal. She had walked out on him.
He heard the harsh laughter echoing around him, realizing belatedly that it was his own.
The woman was driving him to madness.
He had possessed her, and when he walked into the Rose study he should have been barely aware of her existence. Instead, he had been conscious of every subtle nuance: her fragrance, her hair simply pulled back and held in place with a ribbon. The slight redness in her eyes that told him shed been weeping. The touch of her fingers against his chin had shot desire straight down to the heels of his shoes. Jeremy Rose had been right not to leave, because Hawk had wanted nothing more than to take Louisa into his arms and have her again.
Slowly, he wanted to take his fill of her. Remove every stitch of clothing.
Their coming together had been unsatisfying in its swiftness. If he could have her but once more at his leisure, then he would never need her again. Once more. That was all that he required.
Acquiring that, with her present attitude, seemed impossible.
He was splashing more brandy into his glass when he became aware of the footsteps. Since he was without a proper butler, his friends we
re in the habit of simply coming into his home as though it were theirs.
He glanced over at Falconridge. Fetch a glass.
His slurred words surprised him. How much had he drunk already?
Good God, what happened to your face?
It ran into a fist. Two actually.
The rumors are true then?
He twisted his head around, forced himself to focus his attention on Falconridge. He did wish the man would quit swaying. It made it appear as though there were two of him, darting in and out of hiding. What rumors?
That you compromised Lady Louisa and will soon be taking her to wife.
Ravensley tell you that?
No. I heard it at the club. Wagers are being made on the precise date when the nuptials will take place.
Hawk sat upright too fast. His head spun, and he thought he might be ill. Theyre discussing Lady Louisa at the club?
Did I not just say that?
Hawk dug his elbows into his thighs, buried his face in his hands. How did they hear?
Havent a clue.
Ravensley.
Why would he implicate his good friend and his sister in a scandal?
Hawk lifted his head slightly and peered at Falconridge over his fingertips. Only the Roses, Louisa, Ravensley, and I knew what had transpired. I alerted him this morning that Id asked for her hand, and she denied me. He is the only one with anything to gain.
No offense intended, but I dont see how acquiring you as a brother-in-law can be considered a gain.
It eliminates me permanently as competition for Jenny Rose.
Falconridge appeared adequately horrified. You cant be serious.
There can be no other explanation. It is appalling what we will do for money.
Falconridge turned and stared at the cold and empty hearth. I daresay that I dont know if Ive ever heard truer words spoken.
Hes returned.
Louisa looked up from the invitations shed been perusing. Jenny stood in the doorway to her bedchamber. Whos returned?
The Duke of Hawkhurst. I think hes come to ask for your hand in marriage again.
Why would you think that?
Because he wants to see you, and he has brought you a small gift.
Tell him Im not at home. She lowered her gaze to the invitations. Much to her astonishment, Mrs. Rose had not immediately dismissed her because of the unfortunate incident, and Louisa needed to arrange a schedule of activities for the girls for next week.
I think you should hear what he has to say.
Louisa lifted her gaze. Why? Ive made my position perfectly clear.
What is the worst that could happen if you marry him?
The worst is that I could be married to a rake and a scoundrel. He has admitted that the only thing that appeals to him is the chase. Well, I was well and truly caught, without even having experienced the pursuit. I see no point in entertaining him further.
I dont think hes as bad as all that. Ive seen the way he looks at you.
She laughed. The way he looks at me? As though Im the irritating younger sister of his good friend. Or his past good friend. Im not even certain that Alex was incensed by what happened. If not for the kindness of your brother, I would have been totally without support. And that hurts as well if Im truthful about it.
As well it should. I expected better of your brother. She stepped farther into the room. I fear Im partly to blame for what happened, and Im not sure why. Your brother informed me of Hawkhursts plans. He knew I had no intention of going to the library, so I dont know why he sent you to rescue me when he knew I was in no need of rescue.
Disappointment roiled through Louisa. Her brother had betrayed her much more thoroughly than shed thought. It made no sense. Why would he do that?
I did not see you in the ballroom.
I must admit to having a weakness where sampling passion is concerned. The duke is a very virile man and I was incredibly tempted to taste what he was offering, but I wanted no more than a taste. I did not wish to eat the entire meal, so I asked Falconridge to take me on a turn about the gardento remove temptation.
Louisa sighed. I wish youd confided in me.
I should have, and Im sorry I didnt, but I thought my not going to the library would put an end to the dukes pursuit.
You did not want him pursuing you, but you think I should marry him?
As I said, he looks at you far differently than he looks at me. I truly believe you shouldnt discount his feelings. He brought you a gift, Louisa. Its so incredibly romantic.
Nothing he can say will change my mind.
Then where is the harm in seeing him?
The harm was that he could possibly melt her resolve. No, she could be strong. She would be strong. She set the invitations aside. Very well.
She followed Jenny down the hallway and stairs to the foyer. Jeremy, ever her protector, was scowling at the duke.
As she neared, Louisa felt her heart tighten at the sight of Hawkhurst. The bruises on his face had deepened to a ghastly purple, and she thought his eye might be more swollen than before. He was holding a small paper sack. Recognizing the emblem drawn on it, she couldnt help but smile.
What have you there, Your Grace?
A small token ofmy esteem. A dozen toffees.
And here Id taken a fancy to brandy balls.
His mouth curved upward, and he grimaced. I beg of you, do not make me smile.
Your bruises look quite painful.
He shifted his gaze to Jeremy. They have served their purpose exceedingly well. I was wondering if we might take a turn about the garden.
Jeremy and I will be more than happy to serve as chaperones, Jenny said.
I dont require a chaperone, Louisa said.
From the likes of him, I think you do, Jeremy said.
Louisa rolled her eyes and shook her head. Very well. If youll come with me, Your Grace.
She gave the sack to the butler with instructions to have it delivered to her bedchamber. Then she led the way into the garden with Jenny and Jeremy trailing behind them. The duke did not offer his arm, but rather walked with his hands clasped behind his back. Night had fallen, and the gaslights created a muted glow that served to create an intimacy that reminded her of their first kiss in a garden.
It seems our indiscretion is the talk of London, he said quietly after a time.
She stopped walking and stared at him. You told
Ive told no one. Falconridge heard the rumors. He came by to confirm them.
She sighed. Damnation.
My sentiment exactly.
She thought she heard humor laced in his voice, when there was certainly nothing humorous about this situation.
Be that as it may, the rumors change nothing, she said.
They change everything. Your reputation is in tatters
Which would only make a difference if I cared, and I dont.
Well, I do care!
She heard a footstep, turned, and held up a hand to stop Jeremys advance. Its all right.
You speak to her with respect.
Im trying. Shes a bit on the stubborn side and doesnt seem to be hearing what Im saying. Hawkhurst turned back to her. Less than a month ago, you were concerned that if you recommended me to your charges, your reputation would be suspect. How can you say now that your reputation does not matter? Do you think you will not be let go? Do you think you will be able to find another position? And even if our actions have not effectively ruined your chances of continuing on as a chaperone, how can we not take action when our sins could very well cause our child to suffer? If we marry posthaste, we can limit the damage.
Our child. Our child. Our child.
Louisa wrapped her arms tightly around herself, suddenly dizzy. If Im not with child, we are both condemned to a life of misery.
With his thumb and forefinger, he took hold of her chin and tilted her head back until she was forced to look into his eyes. We are condemned anyway. My behavior has sullied my reputation as a g
entleman. I will no longer be welcomed in the finer homes, and I shall be labeled exactly as you view meunsuitable to be the husband of an heiress. While you, sweetheart, will no longer be a woman of independent means. Mrs. Rose is certain to dismiss you once she learns of the rumors going around. Tell her, he ground out.
Im afraid hes right, Jeremy said quietly. It pains me to say it, but with last nights encounter being whispered aboutyou are well and truly ruined.
You will not be able to find another position in another household, Hawkhurst added. No one will hire a chaperone who was caught in a compromising position, just as no one would hire a servant who has been caught pilfering the silver.
Shed never known such despair. Her career as a social chaperone was coming to an end with ugly accusations and innuendo. What was left to her? Nothing.
She was not certain she could force herself to live under the same roof as Alex. Hed known she was in the library, and hed brought Jeremy to it. Why?
Without a position she had no funds. She would be on the street. And if she were with child
But you dont love me, she said to Hawkhurst, hoping, praying, wishing that he would deny the charge, even a bit.
Love is not something I required for a marriage.
Well, I did. Im not like Jenny, requiring only passion.
It is not a half-poor substitute. He glanced over his shoulder, his voice filled with anger. Could you at least step beyond hearing?
Jenny and Jeremy backed up several paces, and Hawkhurst turned back to Louisa. I wont say it wont be difficult, because it will be. I will not say it is what I want, because it is not. But I think you could say the same. Marriage to me is obviously not what you want.
She heard him swallow.
But in the past few weeks, I have come to gain an appreciation for your determination and your ability to take charge of your life. You have a strength of character and strength of purpose that I believe would serve our marriage well. Im fully aware that I gain the most with this arrangement, but I promise you that I would not hinder you in any ventures you wished to pursue. My weaknesses have brought us to this, and I shall spend the remainder of my life making it up to you. He dropped down to one knee, took her hand in both of his, and looked up at her. Will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?
A Duke of Her Own Page 15
