by Amy Mah
Looking at her shelves proved she had made it more homelike; her uncle had somehow rescued a lot of her stuff from her human auntie’s house after she moved here, so Amy had a nice framed picture of her parents along with a few well-loved stuffed animals and a set of little resin Buddhas she had had since she was a child.
As for modern stuff, she always kept her phone charged, and it worked perfectly except for internet or phone calls. She didn’t know how far underground she was, but she expected that she was more likely to get reception pointing it below her than upwards. Anyway, she had about 3,000 songs on it and at least 600 hours of video clips that she had downloaded for fun before she moved here. Her Uncle had also rescued and returned to her the ancient little laptop. It now had only one working program, and that was a word processor. Amy used it for writing her book. She did not know when or even if it would ever get published, but she had been rewriting it for years. The only thing not to have changed over the years was the title.
Amy was attempting to leave the comfort of her pink prison when Tarqwin leapt on her and sank all his claws in as a subtle hint that he was coming with her no matter what she might want. Tarqwin was her pet; no, that’s not quite right. She was Tarqwin’s pet, as he was the one in control; even her aunt let him get away with murder. Tarqwin had been one of her aunt’s very odd-looking, undead hairless cats (hairless cats did not shed fur, so they were less trouble) that had taken a liking to her and moved into her pink prison. As it was a cat, Amy was under no illusions why Tarqwin liked her; she was the hottest vampire in the building, and being hairless, he was also cold. Tarqwin would use her as a walking heated blanket and slept on her at night for the same reason, which was an excellent way of stopping the maids from getting into bed with her.
Her aunt had summoned her; how, she did not know, but she knew she had been summoned. Tarqwin was sitting on her shoulder looking like a very bald parrot as she entered her aunt’s chambers, which were more pink than hers and reminded her so much of candy floss that her teeth ached if she stayed for too long.
Aunt Nyx
Amy closed her eyes as her aunt rushed towards, her fearing she would not stop in time and she would be crushed, but when she opened them again her aunt was stroking Tarqwin, who had crossed over to her aunt’s shoulder and was waiting for tidbits to head in his direction.
Amy yanked her nightdress up over her knees and dramatically fell into one of the large seats, dislodging two cats in the process.
Her aunt sighed as she said, “Feet on the floor and knees together, young lady! How many times have I told you that the proper way to sit is with your legs touching together? That way, you may attract a husband and not just flies. Now, the t-shirt is fine, but did you have to wear jeans under the nightdress? Well, it is too late now; my brother will be here soon. Will you please try to look a little feminine for him? After all, you were nearly his mate once, and one day he may be stupid enough to decide to really have you as his mate. And as far as I can tell, the only thing you can offer him is a selection of farmyard impressions, which will really be a comfort on a cold night.”
Her uncle was late again as usual, and Amy yawned.
“Hand over mouth when yawning, young lady!”
“Yes, Aunt! Sorry, Aunt!”
Amy grabbed hold of Tarqwin as he walked past and put him back on her shoulder, where he liked to pretend to be a fur wrap (minus the fur bit of the wrap, of course).
“He’s here; now, put Tarqwin down, and be ready.”
“Yes, Aunt.”
Amy knew the house rules by heart, and she got ready for the ritual. If only the outside world knew of the rules and rituals; they would never, ever dream of wanting to be a vampire! Amy thought. Even the famula had more freedom than she did. The first rule she had learned when she arrived was to do exactly as her aunt said, and it was the best rule to have learned. She nearly always followed them to the letter; she would just change the alphabet at times to see what happened.
Her aunt was now happy for her to wear underwear under her nightdress, as it showed she was modest (unlike the other female vampires who loved to literally bounce about the place). Amy built up layers of underwear depending upon how cold she felt. Her aunt had reluctantly let her wear jeans due to the bowwlegged way she walked when wearing six pairs of panties on extracold days.
The door opened, and a famula showed her uncle into the room then left, Amy immediately stood up and did her well-practiced curtsy.
“You honor us by your visit; I am humbled by your presence.”
Amy even sounded the part of a servile female; it was, of course, a load of nonsense to her (like walking about without panties) and would have been fine if she had stuck to the text without adlibbing.
“If we are over the formal stuff, Uncle, can I get out of this darn nightie? If you wish, you can also remove your jacket. I’m sure you will feel better looking less like a restaurant waiter.”
“AMY! Your manners!”
“Sorry, Aunt. Would your honor care for me to help remove his jacket? Is that better, Aunt? I didn’t mention anything about him looking like a waiter this time, did I?”
“Yes, my dear; that was very nice, and just ignore the face your uncle is making. BROTHER! Now where are your manners! Stop laughing, and answer the child!”
“Yes, young female, you may remove my jacket.”
As Amy reached up and struggled to get the jacket off his shoulders, he softly added so that only she could hear.
“Do I really look like a waiter?”
“Sorry, Unck.”
Amy’s aunt sighed. “Amy, take Tarqwin back to your room and leave us to talk. Your uncle will visit you there when we are finished.”
Amy did a quick curtsy, grabbed Tarqwin and left quietly, shutting the door behind her. Then she quietly pressed her ear to the door and jumped as the loud voice of her aunt penetrated the thick door.
“I said, go to your room! If you are still in the corridor when I open this door, you will not sit down for a week!”
Amy ran back to her room and quickly shut the door behind her before slowly removing Tarqwin’s claws from her neck. She had no idea how long she had been playing at being a child to keep her aunt happy. Acting childish was now second nature to her, but the fear of her aunt’s punishments was real enough, as her aunt would punish her like she was a child (but it would still hurt like heck).
It had all started off by her slapping her bare butt very, very hard (and she had very sharp claws). Then that had progressed to the threat of what she would do if she ever really did something to get in her aunt’s bad book. The threat was what held her fully under her aunt’s control. It was never about the pain she could inflict but instead the embarrassment she could cause that made her almost need to change her underwear when her aunt threatened her with the ultimate punishment.
Minor punishments her aunt dished out were anything from loss of TV to cold baths. The bare-butt slapping when coming out of a bath or shower was to point out to Amy that the start of the next level of punishment would be not only painful but very demeaning. The ultimate punishment her aunt threatened her with consisted of Amy pulling up her nightdress and dropping her panties so that her aunt had a clear target when she put her over her knee and spanked her till she cried real tears (fake tears had never worked on her aunt). She let Amy know that she would do it not only in front of the maids but in full view of any passing male! Heck, she may even sell tickets!
If it was a bluff, it was a good one, as Amy had decided she would never, ever risk calling her on it.
Fashion Show
A loud bang on her door made her jump; no one ever knocked: not her aunt, not even her maids. Privacy for a teenage girl was not allowed. It was yet another of her aunt’s rules: If a girl was doing anything that she didn’t want others to see, then she should not be doing it!
“Err-yes? Come in?”
Her uncle stood in the doorway, fangs showing and breathing heavily, and with h
is left eye in full twitch mode. In B-movies, this would have been the point where the girl would swoon and either lose her virginity or her life (or both).
Lord Phabian Pinkbat
Amy could never understand why the girls always swooned; they should wait until he was taking his trousers off, and then run off. No male vampire would ever run pant-less after a girl with his boy bits waving in the air, and by the time he put his pants back on she could be safe in the arms of Van Helsing.
“Hi, Uncle. I see you have just been talking with Aunt again.”
He threw several boxes into the room and slammed the door shut, then opened it again to glare at the two maids still standing where he had relived them of the boxes they had been carrying for him.
“You may take your orders from the lady mistress, but I am the master here, and if anyone dares disturb me while I am resting and talking with my niece, then I will have both of you flogged! Is that understood?”
The two girls stepped back, curtsied and almost ran down the corridor. He re-entered the room once more, slamming the door. Going over to a large chair, he picked it up and placed it behind the door, then he took off his shoes and threw them at the chair before removing his cloak and coat, dropping them both to the floor, and kicking them away from him.
“That female will be the death of me!”
Amy went over to where her uncle was now flat on his back, lying on her bed with an arm resting over his eyes. That plus his puffy white sleeves turned him from a B-movie vampire to looking even more like a late renaissance poet. She then ruined the image by jumping on his stomach, forcing him to double up and almost choke in a coughing fit.
“I don’t know about that, but if she finds us alone with you lying on my bed, then I won’t be the only one having my panties pulled down and spanked.”
Amy buried her face in his shirt and breathed in, taking as much of his body odor into her lungs as she could get. Over the time she had lived here, her sense of smell had gotten better and better, but she had very little new to appreciate. Her uncle smelled so nice; he smelled of being male, and of the outside world.
“I remember my sister has always been very keen on using her hands when trying to make a point, but resting here like this is perfectly normal, or would be if you would kindly stop smelling me like some sort of dog that has missed his master. And if you are planning on coming into heat, I will definitely throw a bucket of cold water over you this time!”
“I’m a Hell Cat, Uncle, not a dog! It’s just that you smell nice: all kind of musky with car fumes. And sorry Unck; I’ve been in heat once, and once was enough. That is so not happening again; besides, I have seen you naked and well … sniffing car fumes off you is all I’m really interested in now.”
He roughly pushed her away, laughed, and then pulled her back. Amy burst in to a fit of giggles as they both lay there staring up at the ceiling.
“Use me instead of sniffing glue then discard me, eh? You females are all the same! So, what’s new at home, then?”
Amy turned to face him, took a long noisy sniff, and started. “Well, I have a new rota maid, and she is called Bambi.”
“Bambi?!”
“Yes, Bambi. I know; not very vamp-sounding, but apparently she was conceived during a drive-in movie showing of a Disney film in the mid 20th century; anyway, she is better than the last one and I think she has a crush on me. She likes getting in the bath with me to scrub my back, and if I say I’m cold at night, she gets in bed with me. It’s kind of cute, really.”
“Well, they all do that, but don’t go crushing on her or your aunt will soon get rid of her.”
“No way, Unck! I’m not into girls! And don’t you dare have Aunt get rid of her. She’s the best so far and is much better than any hot water bottle, plus I can snack on her if I get peckish during the night. Her blood has a nice tangy cinnamon after taste. Besides, I have a male companion I’m quite happy with, and that’s not you.”
“Yes, I know; you mean that evil, odd looking creature wearing a blue wool coat you call Tarqwin, who is currently staring at me from the corner like he wants to rip me to pieces. Yes, I am very jealous of him, but as for personal maids, your aunt and I don’t object if you have sex with them or just feed on them. They are for your personal use and comfort, and they know it. A maid will only be removed if you start to get too fond of her, as that would not be correct due to your position and status.”
“Now, let me tell you of what’s happening outside; first, your human auntie broke her arm slipping on the wet roof. But now she’s fine and back to climbing and sleeping on the roof at nights. When I said I would keep an eye on her, you could have warned me that she likes to sleep nude on the flat roof at night; it came as one hell of a shock!”
“Yes, that sounds like my mad human auntie, but what about the pets and things going on at school?”
“Who was the one with green spiky hair?”
“Lucy-ann”
“Okay, she had a child then got married, in that order. She looks to be quite happy and is still one of our paid blood bank donors. The black-haired girl with a white streak running through the center?”
“That has to be Regina, and the streak is real-not dyed. She eats her meat almost raw; if there was ever a natural human vampire, then she is it!” Amy said.
“Well, she is now blond and studying for the priesthood.”
“Regina?! Her, a priest! And she was always such a weirdo! Didn’t any of the pets stick with us vamps?”
“Err, which one was the quiet one? Shy, mousy hair, never had a master or had sex with a male, just gave blood to the blood bank when needed?”
Amy had to think for a moment.
“I heard she took over the group after Regina got thrown out.”
“Paige! That has to be my pet human, Paige! I ringed her with your old pet ring, so perhaps she is really your pet, but don’t think of doing anything rude with her. She is only into girls, not guys. Poor Paige was always teased in the group. ‘Virgin paper,’ as Regina called her. Well, Regina was always cruelly making fun of her and her virginity.”
“Well, she is doing very well for herself. She still gives blood at the blood bank, and her best-selling book, High School Sex Slaves, has now been turned into a TV mini-series. It tells the story of a group of girls with dyed black hair with a white streak who would have sex with any boy as long as he dressed in black and pretended to be a vampire.”
“Wow! Well done, my Paige. I often wondered what she was always scribbling in her notebooks, and Regina always said she wanted to be famous.”
As her uncle put an arm back across his eyes in the vague hope of resting, he pointed with his other arm in the general direction of the two boxes that had arrived with him.
“If you give me five minutes’ rest, you can open your presents. After talking with your aunt, I really need a nap.”
Amy had forgotten all about them during the news update, and she rushed over and carefully used a single claw to open the fist box. Out of the corner of her eye she could she her uncle was only pretending to rest and was in fact watching her.
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw what the two boxes contained, and she excitedly exclaimed, “It’s for hunting! Wow! It’s a night hunter! My very own set of hunting clothes!”
“Well, if I am going to take you out hunting, you should look the part. I am told that it is the very lat …oooouuuff!”
He did not have time to finish as Amy turned, sprang into the air, and dropped her weight to almost zero, giving her a high and fast trajectory over to where her bed was. It was something she had practiced for countless weeks to relieve the boredom, and as she reached the right spot, she let her body return to its normal weight and dropped onto her uncle with surprising force for a girl normally so light in structure. As she pinned him down, she kissed him a number of times on his left cheek.
The only thing he could manage to get out was, “Someone please get me a bucket of water! She’s gone mad
or in heat!”
Amy stopped kissing his cheek and jumped back off the bed to land near the boxes, where she began to lay out the contents: leather trousers, leather top, jacket, and boots. The top had built-in Helsings.
Helsings were thick metal plates fitted into any hunting or fighting clothes, positioned over the heart area of the chest to make stabbing the heart with a wooden stake impossible. They would even stop silver bullets, swords, knives, or in the case of one particular nasty killing in a vampire film, stiletto heels. Vampires were traditionalists but not stupid, so most of them had seen all the films on the subject and were normally the people who laughed in a cinema when a movie vampire did something so stupid as to let his lunch kill him.
At once, Amy undid her jeans and hopped about until she was able to pull them off. Her uncle gave a cough.
“Do you think you should be changing here and now? There is a male still in the room, my dear.”
Amy stopped hopping around after she successfully removed the last jean leg and was now sitting on the floor, pulling on the leather pants. She had a grin on as she replied, “You are right, thank you, Unck. Tarqwin, please cover your eyes with a paw at once! Your mistress is changing.”
Her uncle laughed. “And where is all the feminine modesty my sister should have taught you?”
Amy ignored the question as she turned her black t-shirt inside out to hide the pink bat logo. When she had put it back on, she tucked it in the pants and pulled the top over it, then grabbed the jacket and ran to the mirror.
