The pale blue button-down he was wearing was open at the collar, exposing his throat, and I watched in fascination as his Adam’s apple bobbed and the cords in his neck tensed on a thick swallow.
“You look gorgeous, sunshine,” Jensen whispered.
“Please stop calling me that,” I said, my voice so quiet it was a wonder he could hear me over the music.
It was just one dance. Three and a half minutes, tops. I can do this, I told myself. But as the spicy musk of Jensen’s cologne filled my nostrils, memories of the past came flooding back, flipping through my mind like a slideshow, and suddenly, I wasn’t so sure that was true.
From over his shoulder, I caught Uncle Scooter standing on the outskirts of the dance floor, concern etched into the sun-kissed weathered skin on his face. He lifted a single brow in silent communication, and I gave him a gentle smile and an indiscrete shake of my head, letting him know I was fine and I didn’t need him to step in.
“Just stating a fact. You’re always beautiful, honey, but in that dress—”
I finally looked at him for the first time since the dance started, tilting my head back in order to glare up into those dark eyes. “Don’t,” I snapped. Being in his arms like this, it would have been so easy to give in to the tidal wave of feelings crashing through me. Letting him hold me, touch me . . . He could have easily consumed me just as he’d done before. But the reality was, he’d broken me. He’d changed me. I was no longer the girl I once was. What he’d done to me had hardened my soul. So instead of falling into old patterns and letting those sweet words soothe over all the pain in my heart, I let them fuel my anger.
“Giving you this one dance doesn’t change anything between us. If it wasn’t for the fact I want Farah to have an incredible day, free of any drama, there’s no way in hell I would’ve let you touch me. So do me a favor and be quiet so I can get through this without losing my shit.”
His brows pulled down into a deep, intimidating V. “You can’t avoid me forever, Shane. We live in the same goddamn town. We share a son, for fuck’s sake. Since I came back, you’ve barely looked at me. We can’t keep going like this. It’s not good for Brantley.”
Every muscle in my body locked tight. Our swaying stopped as I hissed, “Don’t you dare tell me what’s good for my son. You have no goddamn right. Everything I’ve done since the day he came into this world has been for him. And you think you can just show up here after missing the first four and a half years of his life and have a say in anything?”
I let out a caustic laugh, rage sliding up my throat and burning like acid. “You’re just playing the part of daddy. You don’t have the first fucking clue what it means to actually be a parent. Until you’ve been there for the bad times, until you’ve had to live through the gut-wrenching fear that goes hand in hand with the joy of raising and loving and protecting the little person you created, you’ll never be a real parent. I wasn’t the only one you left behind, asshole. You left him too. So don’t you ever try and tell me what’s best for my son.”
He opened his mouth, prepared to speak, but I was done. Wrenching my hand from his grip, I spun around and hustled off the dance floor, ignoring the looks from everyone around us who caught on to the argument.
So much for not making a scene.
Chapter Three
Shane
Sixteen years old
“ShaneShaneShaneShane!”
At the sound of Rina’s shrill voice, I leaned back past my open locker door and glanced down the hall. She was coming at me at a full sprint, her already short denim skirt riding up even higher while the breasts she’d developed back in middle school bounced like crazy in her low-cut, skin-tight cropped top. She was drawing the eyes of every boy in her vicinity.
Something in her had changed last year, and the shy, somewhat nerdy girl I’d once known had gone wild. She used to spend most of her time with her nose pressed between the pages of romance books she’d snuck from her mom’s shelves. Now she spent her weekends going to parties the upperclassmen threw so she could meet boys. She dressed provocatively, acted wild, and bragged far and wide about all her sexual conquests. To hear her tell it, freshman year she’d gone from virgin to double digits like it was as easy as changing shoes. She got off on the attention her inappropriate clothes and behavior got her, and it was getting to the point where I barely recognized the girl who’d been my best friend since pre-school.
“You’ll never guess what I just heard!” she exclaimed, sliding to a stop in her bejeweled flipflops.
Pulling my geometry book from my locker, I closed the door and turned to face her. “What did you hear?”
Her cheeks flushed pink beneath all the layers of makeup she’d troweled onto her face that morning. “So, according to Becky P. and Cathy M., there’s a new guy who started here today. Apparently he’s like, filthy stinking rich and totally hot.
My head tipped to the side, my brows knitted in confusion. “O-kay. And?”
She looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in school. “What do you mean ‘and’? There’s a new, hot rich kid going here. That’s it! Ooh, and he’s a senior.” She waggled her brows. “Apparently, he was going to some super expensive, exclusive private school where celebrities and politicians and stuff send their kids, and got kicked out for fighting.”
She sounded way too excited about that, stressing that point like it was a good thing when it really wasn’t. “Aren’t you still with Cody Yates?” I asked. “Not so sure your boyfriend would like hearing you talk about another guy like this.”
She let out a scoff and waved me off. “Forget Cody. He got boring anyway. I’m in the mood for something new.” Pulling a compact from her purse, she flipped it open and pursed her lips, slathering on another layer of lip gloss. Once done, she blew a kiss into the mirror before snapping it closed and returning it to her bag. “I’m totally gonna hook up with this dude. Mark my words, by this time next week, I’ll be riding him like a bronco.”
“Jeez, Rina,” I huffed, my top lip curling up. “Do you always have to talk like that?”
“And do you have to be such a freakin’ prude all the time?” She rolled her eyes. “God, I can’t wait for you to finally stamp your V card. Maybe then you won’t be such a downer.”
My expression drooped into a pained frown as I muttered, “Whatever.” I spun on my heel and started down the hall, a sting washing through me at her harsh words.
“Oh, come on. Don’t be like that,” she chided, skipping after me and hooking her arm over my shoulders. “I was just playing around. Don’t be so sensitive.”
“Well, don’t act like such a bitch and I won’t be sensitive,” I defended.
Her arm got tighter, pulling my head down so she could ruffle my hair. “Aw, I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me, Shaney. You’re my bestest friend. Forgive me. Pretty please?” Her bottom lip puckered out in a dramatic pout, and I couldn’t hold in the laugh that was tickling my throat.
This was the Rina I’d been missing for the past year and a half. A lot of what she said nowadays rubbed me the wrong way, to the point that I’d been putting some distance between us recently. But when I caught glimpses of the girl I used to know, it was hard to let go completely.
“As long as it doesn’t happen again,” I told her, giving her a playful shove and lifting my hand to pat my hair back into place. “You keep being a jerk and an apology won’t be enough.”
She drew an invisible X over her heart. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
I smiled, that sting now gone as we continued down the hall toward the cafeteria. The moment we stepped through the doors, all hell broke loose.
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” was being chanted over and over. There was a massive clump of bodies near the center of the room with other students standing on tables and chairs to get a better look at the action.
“Ooh, a fight! Come on, let’s get closer.”
I had absolutely no desire to see two idiots beat the crap out of ea
ch other, but before I could object, Rina had me by the wrist and was yanking me into the fray.
“Get him, Ronny! Kick his ass!” one kid yelled right in my ear.
We made it to the middle where the fight was taking place just in time to see the other guy roll Ronny to his back and drive his fist into his face.
As a senior, a jock, and a bully, Ronny Culpepper was the biggest asshole on campus. He thought he was a badass whose shit didn’t stink, and honestly, he could use a few good knocks upside the head, especially from this kid who looked bigger in both height and size, but that didn’t mean I didn’t find fighting at school to be an eye-roll-inducing cliché.
Some of the teachers came rushing over, shoving the crowd apart and busting up the fight. Coach Beck pushed his way into the pandemonium, grabbing the kid who was pummeling Ronny’s face into ground hamburger meat by the collar and yanking him up. The moment I got my first look at his face, my back snapped straight, my eyes went wide, and my jaw dropped.
It was him, the cocky jerk from this past weekend. Jensen.
“Holy shit,” Rina hissed in my ear. “That’s totally him. That’s the new guy.” I could hear her, but I couldn’t peel my gaze from the boy who’d pissed me off and made me feel a bunch of other things I didn’t understand just days ago. “Oh my God, I’m totally gonna bang him. He’s so freaking hot.”
She wasn’t wrong about that, he was gorgeous, but there was something in his expression, something that caused a shiver, both pleasant and disturbing, to slither up my spine. I couldn’t deny he was fine; that would have been a bald-faced lie. But the almost manic smile on his face was totally out of place, considering the circumstances, and there was something swirling around in his glassy gray eyes that made my stomach knot up. It was almost as if he’d gotten some sort of twisted high from beating another kid to a bloody pulp.
He got off on the fight the way Rina got off on male attention. That was an unsettling discovery. But what was even more bothersome was the way my heart started pounding against my ribs like it was trying to escape my chest the moment his gaze landed on mine.
Watching the change in his demeanor was somewhat mesmerizing. His eyes shone with surprise for a second before that smile went from crazed to arrogant in the blink of an eye.
“That’s it,” Coach Beck declared as he gave Jensen a jostle. “Principal’s office, the both of you. Move it.”
Another teacher had Ronny by the arm and was leading him through the crowd while Coach shuffled Jensen in my direction.
“Hey, sunshine,” he said, that cocky smile still firmly in place. “Told you I’d be seein’ you soon,” he called over his shoulder as he was led away.
It wasn’t until the crowd all around started to thin out, the excitement of the fight now all but forgotten, that the spell I’d been under broke and I was able to pull myself from the daze Jensen had left me in.
“Uh . . . what was that?” Rina yelped.
“It wasn’t anything,” I answered, turning around and heading for the lunch line, the growl in my stomach reminding me I’d been starving before walking into the chaos of the cafeteria. “Just two dumbasses fighting.”
“Not the fight,” she bit out, following after me and grabbing a plastic tray. She continued prodding, not bothering to lower her voice as we slowly crept our way through the busy line. “He smiled at you and called you sunshine. Do you like, know him?” she asked, her tone holding more than a hint of accusation.
“No,” I answered flatly before giving the lunch lady a smile and taking the small bowl of banana pudding she held out for me.
“It sure as hell looked like you knew him.”
“Look, it’s not a big deal,” I explained, trying to keep my voice down so everyone around wouldn’t hear our conversation. “I was helping my aunt out last weekend, and his house was on her schedule. I ran into him there. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.”
The skepticism vanished from her face as her shiny lips pulled into a huge grin. “Oh my God. That’s perfect. Do you think you could talk to him for me?”
My brows winged upward, almost reaching my hairline. “You’re kidding, right? It’s his first day here and the dude’s already gotten in a fight halfway through it. That’s the kind of guy you want to hook up with?”
She lifted one shoulder indolently, like my concerns were no big deal. “Fighting can be kinda hot. Especially when the guy looks like that. And he won. He beat the shit outta Ronny Culpepper, and no one can beat Ronny Culpepper. That’s a plus in my book.”
“Rina, seriously. This isn’t a guy you want to know. Trust me. He was a massive jerk.”
“And I bet he’s awesome in the sack. Just talk to him for me, please, Shane? I’m not asking you to give me a kidney or anything. Just make me sound really cool.”
“Rina, I’m not—”
But she was done listening. Abandoning her tray on the railing, she started walking backward, blowing me an air kiss as she said, “Thanks babe, you’re the best! Love ya!” She spun around and skipped off, giving a finger wave to a couple of the guys sitting at a table nearby. Then she was gone.
With the exception of a shiny black Mercedes G-Class obnoxiously parked in a handicap spot close to the entrance, the student lot was all but empty as I burst out of the school and started to run down the sidewalk that led toward the side lot, where I’d been forced to park at the very back earlier that morning.
The sun beat down on the asphalt, making it feel like I’d just climbed into an oven as I stepped onto the blacktop and jogged for my car while fishing around in my backpack for my keys.
“Come on,” I grumbled, digging through all the junk. “Where the hell are you?”
I was running late, something that was out of the ordinary for me, but then I’d felt off kilter all day . . . or more specifically, ever since lunch.
I hadn’t meant to lose track of time, but when I sat down in the library to start researching for the project Mr. Caswell had assigned in English lit that day, my mind kept drifting, and I found it hard to concentrate on anything but that arrogant smile and those stormy eyes. Now, if I didn’t hustle, I’d be late clocking in for my shift.
“Aha!” I cried when my fingers wrapped around the cool metal of my keys. Whipping them out, I lifted my arm and pointed the fob at the car, only to jerk to a dead stop at the sight of the guy leaning languidly against my driver side door.
“Surprise, sunshine.”
He grinned, and my knees nearly gave out. Oh, we really like that grin a lusty voice in my head spoke—a voice that sounded an awful lot like Rina. I slapped a metaphorical hand over her mouth and pasted a mask of indifference on my face. “What are you doing here? How did you know this was my car?”
“Deductive reasoning.” He pulled a blunt from his pocket and lit it up, letting out a plume of smoke as he continued, “Had to stick around for detention and saw you through the windows in the library. Should’ve known you were the nerdy bookworm type.”
I didn’t understand how I could be so physically attracted to someone so despicable.
Crossing my arms, I looked back over my shoulder to the Mercedes again. “And I should have known that G Wagon was yours,” I huffed. “It screamed spoiled asshole as soon as I spotted it. You do realize you’re parked in a handicap spot, right?”
He shrugged, forming his lips to blow out a smoke ring. “I was running late this morning. Parked there so I wouldn’t miss my first class.”
This was a guy who parked in a handicap spot because it was convenient for him, not giving a single damn that someone might actually need it. He expected people like my aunt to clean up after him, he got high on school property, and he picked a fight just for the hell of it without having to face the consequences most everyone else would. Hell, he probably skated by in school without having to do a single assignment because his parents bought him an A in every class.
Feeling that same indignation rising inside of me that had been there duri
ng our first encounter, I stomped over to him, snatched the blunt from between his lips, and dropped it to the ground, grinding it to shreds beneath my shoe. “You’re still on school property. How about you at least act like you give a damn about rules the rest of us have to follow?”
That cocky smirk was in full effect as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. And damn it if I didn’t have to force my eyes to keep from drifting lower. “Ah, so you’re a book nerd and a prude. Got it.”
I wasn’t going to bother defending myself to someone like him. It would’ve been pointless. But I couldn’t deny that being called a prude for the second time in one day left a bitter taste in my mouth. “You mind moving away from my car? As much fun as this little exchange has been, I have somewhere to be.”
“Yeah? Where’s that?”
“None of your business. Now please move.”
I’d expected more of a fight, figuring he’d go out of his way to annoy me more. I didn’t understand it, but it was almost as if he got off on pushing my buttons. This time, he surprised the hell out of me by taking a step to the side, unblocking the door.
I made quick work of unlocking the car and climbing in, desperate to get away from this guy and the unwanted feelings he provoked. However, before I could make my escape, he grabbed hold of the frame and stepped between me and the door, preventing me from pulling it closed.
Leaning in so close the smell of his cologne filled the entire cab and overwhelmed my senses, he asked, “You really don’t like me, do you?” His eyes shone with genuine curiosity.
His proximity muddled my brain, but I still managed to keep my voice from trembling like my hands and knees were as I answered. “It doesn’t matter what I think.”
“Wrong, sunshine. What you think is all that matters.”
My mouth fell open in shock. I didn’t know what I’d been expecting him to say, but it certainly wasn’t that. As I stared in shock, the egotistical attitude I’d gotten used to in our few short interactions faded away. His dark, broody eyes changed. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on flickered through their depths. All of a sudden, one thing became perfectly clear: If I wasn’t careful, Jensen could uproot everything I’d worked so hard for. I couldn’t let that happen.
Bittersweet (Redemption Book 3) Page 3
