“That’s the thing, Grace. It’s not hard at all. It’s too fucking easy.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s too easy to lose myself in them and that’s what scares the shit out of me.”
Grace chuckles at that. “That’s how love is supposed to be, Riles. You lose yourself in them and in turn they lose themselves in you. Together you find yourselves in each other. And from the look of things, those ‘togethers’ are more than just you and the guys. It seems like it will be some of the guys with each other as well, if you get my meaning.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I reply with a soft laugh, followed by stifling silence. Only the sounds of our breathing to fill the void.
Finding a stain on the wall that looks oddly like E.T., fascinating, the stillness between us becomes uncomfortably awkward. Akin to sitting with a stranger, rather than my sister. Unable to endure the silence anymore, I break. “Look Grace, it’s going to take me some time to come to terms with all of this. Growing up, I never knew you to lie to me. Like a slap in the face, I’m coming to realize that I didn’t really know you at all, did I? I just need time alone to process this all.”
Nodding her head, Grace relents, “Okay, Riles. I get it, but will you make me one promise? Promise me that you’ll listen to your guys and stay open-minded about all of this.”
“I promise I will listen to what Wild and the rest of the guys have to say. And I will try to stay open-minded. For now, though, I’d just like to get some peaceful sleep, please.”
“Good night, Riles.” With that parting, Grace fades, and I’m left alone to contemplate this new revelation.
“Good night, baby sister.”
Waking in the late morning, I really did not want to deal with any of the guys. Who I am sure are just waiting in the living room for me. Seeing as I don’t have wings and therefore cannot simply escape out the window, I’m left hiding out in my room. So be it, this isn’t the first time I’ve done this.
Relaxation sounds like a perfect plan at the moment and I know just how to do that. Grinning to myself I climb to the back of my closet where I have hidden away a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. Standing there holding the bottle of wine, I stare at it. I walk out to the main part of my room with the unopened bottle still in hand. Stopping next to my bed, I close my eyes. “I shouldn’t do this, I know that. But I could really use the break right now.”
No. No hiding. My wolf chimes in.
“Drink it,” a voice commands from the door.
“Fucking hell!” Startled, my heart beats like a drum behind my ribs.
“Well, what are you waiting for? If you’re so weak that you need to hide at the bottom of a bottle, then drink the damn thing.” Enzo’s face is stock and stone cold as he stands there watching my every move.
“Don’t you dare judge me, Enzo. It’s been a shit few years but the last 24 hours have been fucking hell on earth.”
“Not judging, Riley. But you went through true hell to get clean, so I’m giving you a choice. You can hide in the bottom of that bottle there or you can fucking alpha-up and handle your shit. Be the badass ballbuster I heard you were.”
An image of Cree on his knees holding his family jewels flashes through my mind courtesy of my wolf. Reminding me of the first time we took down the bear. I can’t help but smile at that memory, fun times. Walking over to Enzo, I hand him the bottle. “You’re right. I am a fucking alpha and it’s time I got back to that.”
He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me to him, staring me in the eyes before he crashes his lips to mine. The kiss quickly deepens, becoming a push and pull for dominance. I gently slide my hands into his hair, fisting it, I pull his head back, roughly breaking the kiss. “If you ever fucking lie to me, or manipulate me again, Enzo. ” Leaning into his body, I place my lips next to his ear and whisper, “I’ll fucking knee you in the balls next.” I push him back into the wall and exit the room with an extra sway in my hips and a smirk on my face. Off to find my other mates and set them straight. His bark of laughter follows me down the hall, all the way to the living room.
“Since when does Enzo laugh?” I hear Wild remark.
“Since I promised to knee him in the balls if he ever lies to or tries to manipulate me again. The same goes for the rest of you as well. Lie to me or try to manipulate me again and I will fucking knee you in the balls. Do I make myself clear?” I stand with my hands on my hips with the best pissed-the-fuck-off look I can muster.
“If this is going to work with us all, we need to clear the air. No more secrets. No more fucking lies. As much as it’s going to hurt and as much as I do not want to relieve it all, I will tell you everything. In return though, I expect you to tell me everything as well. Be it now with everyone here or individually. I just can’t be the only one taking a step to make this better.” Putting myself out there, I open the door. Wild takes that opening and approaches me.
“Riley, I can’t apologize to you enough. I would rather give up racing than betray you. I hope you believe me.” His face is pale with deep dark circles under his eyes. His hair is frizzy and matted as though he’s been fisting and pulling on it all night. He’s dressed in the same clothes as yesterday which are now a wrinkled mess.
“Wild. Look at me.” Catching his eyes, I move in closer placing my hands on his arms. “Grace told me that Alastair threatened your family. She wouldn’t give me any details but I understand needing to protect your loved ones. I’m not angry about that. I’m furious that you chose to keep it from me. I do understand that this was not your decision alone. Therefore, the responsibility is not placed all on you. They,” pointing to the guys around the room, “all share in the culpability equally.”
Taking a deep centering breath, I nod to Wild and command, “Okay no more stalling. Sit please, all of you. I am going to share this one time and one time only. Enzo, sit with me please.” Enzo takes my hand and leads me to the loveseat facing the fireplace which crackles with distracting flames that dance with the frantic beat of my heart. The guys all take up their places on the remaining couches. Cree and Axel on one, Reed and Wild on the other.
“Take your time, little wolf,” Cree encourages, giving me a silent nod.
“I grew up in the Shadowcrest Pack located in the Tongass Forest in Southeast Alaska. When I was thirteen my parents were murdered by a rival pack. I now know Alastair set that up. Because of that, Alastair became the guardian of Grace and I. The night of my sixteenth birthday Alastair attempted to force a mate bond with me. I stabbed him in the eye with a pencil, took Grace and ran. We ran all the way to Canada where we met an old friend of my dad’s, Jimmy. Jimmy was the alpha of the Stormwater Pack.
“Jimmy never had kids so he took us in and protected us from Alastair. Allowing us to grow up with as much a normal upbringing as possible. Grace and I moved to Vancouver for college so we could stay close to Jimmy but get further from Alastair. Jimmy died two years later, Grace a year after that. Though it appears that didn’t stick.” Soft chuckles sound around the room.
“My, ah, well, my fiancé left a month after Grace’s funeral. After that, it was a downward spiral. I dropped out of school, lost my job, and started barhopping till I ended up at Creedence. And you know what’s happened since then so I’ll fast forward to yesterday.
“Alastair found me, as I’m sure you are aware. He wants me to mate with him, either willingly or by force. Because I wouldn’t give him what he wanted he had his minions ‘teach’ me a ‘lesson’. However, they took it too far and I blacked out. I woke, woke…” My voice begins to break as the memories of waking in that dark box flood my mind. My lungs tighten as the feeling of suffocating returns, my vision begins to darken as the room spins. A tear falls as I remember the promise I made if I ever got out of that box.
“I thought I was going to die. I heard him tell them to bury me and when I realized I was in a box I genuinely thought they had.” The tears come faster as the lump in my throat grows thicker. “
I thought I’d never see you guys again. I wanted to, I wanted to see you, get to know you. Be your mate. I didn’t want to die.” Enzo squeezes my hand as I try to breathe through the fear of my memories and pain I felt when I thought I had lost my mates.
With a shaky breath and a softness to my voice, I continue. “I figured out I wasn’t buried after he started to taunt me. That’s when his games really started. Talking about how he’d go after Grace, knowing she’s alive, more about having a spy in our group.” My eyes drift to Wild, who has a look of remorse and sadness on his face. My voice steadily becomes stronger as I go on. “When I refused to respond the way he wanted, he fucking started to extract the air out of the box. The longer I was in there the harder it became to breathe. I tried to break free. I beat on the lid and the sides, the skin on my knuckles broke and I could feel the blood run down my arms. I could feel the splinters dig their way under my nails. I don’t remember giving up the fight to get out, I think I simply passed out. I have no fucking clue how long I was in there. It wasn’t until you came crashing through the wall that I woke. I don’t think I’d be here if you hadn’t come for me. I never felt as weak as I did in that fucking box. I don’t ever want to feel that fucking powerless again. Never.”
I don’t notice how badly my body is shaking until the other four guys all crowd in around the loveseat. Each lay a hand on me and flood my system with their comforting strength. I can feel their energy surrounding my wolf, comforting her as she purrs, curling up with her mates.
“I want to make that permanent,” I blurt out and they all look at me with an air of confusion.
“Make what permanent, babe?” Axel questions.
“The bond. My wolf needs to feel you all. We both do.”
Cree kneels down in front of me, places one of his massive hands on my cheek and the other over my heart. “Little wolf, I would love to complete the bond with you, we all would. But not like this. We will continue to take our time. You will get to know each of us on a personal level. When it’s right, and we’ll know it is, we will complete the bonds with you. Riley, we may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond to it and how it affects us.”
I lean forward and wrap my arms around Cree’s neck, and whisper in his ear, “Thank you.”
Fists fly and the bag sways as I land hit after hit into the bag. James Arthur’s Impossible plays in my ears. Images of Alastair flash in my memory, his words playing on repeat. Sweat drips from my brows, burning my eyes but I don’t stop. My muscles burn and plead with me for a rest, but I don’t. Faster and harder I swing, the bag shuddering with every strike. My blood pumps faster, my nerves shaking, anger bubbling to the surface. Unable to hold it in, I release it all. Eyes closed, I drop to the ground and scream. Releasing all the pain, terror, and anger.
“I was wondering when you were going to let that go,” a soothing voice states from behind me. Turning I find Enzo, Reed, and Wild. “Feel better?” Reed asks.
With a relenting laugh, I nod my head, “Yeah. Actually, I do.”
“If you’re done killing the punching bag, I was hoping you would join me,” Wild gestures to the front door. “There are some people I would really like to introduce you to.”
“Sure. Give me 15 to clean up and I’ll meet you out front.” Running off to the locker room, I stop to give Enzo and Reed each a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for suggesting that. It felt really good to get that out.”
Wilder
I’m hoping this is the right call. Pulling up outside BC Children’s Hospital, Riley turns to me with wide eyes. “What are we doing here, Wild?”
“This is where the people are I’d like you to meet. I’m hoping you’ll understand things a little better after.” Opening my door, I get out and head over to the passenger’s side. Opening her door, I put my hand out to help her out of the car. “It’s okay Riley, come on.”
Leading Riley in, we head towards the oncology ward. “Wild?”
“I know.” Understanding how all this must bring up memories for Riley of her sister, I hold her hand a little tighter.
“Not your typical little girl’s room,” I state with a smile, pointing to a door that is decorated with photos and drawings of fast cars and wolves. Opening the door, I lead Riley inside.
“Hello, hello. How are you feeling today?” Keeping my tone light and a smile plastered to my face.
“Wild!” An excited and cheerful voice calls from behind a curtain hanging from the ceiling.
“My goodness, where are my girls at? I can hear one but I can’t see her.” Giggles ring out in reply. Pulling the curtain back I make a gasping shock gesture. “You scared me. Don’t you know you shouldn’t scare old people?”
“Brother, you’re not old,” Willow points out. I just laugh as I lean in to give her a hug.
“Hey, sis. You’re looking good today, how are you feeling?”
“I’m good. Who’s that?” Willow points at Riley.
“Mom. Willow. I’d like to introduce you to someone. This is Riley. She’s my, my…” Looking at Riley, unsure how to introduce her to my family, she cuts me off catching my eye with a smile.
“I’m his mate. And it is an honor to meet you both.”
My mother stands from her seat in the corner of the room. “Your mate? Oh, the Gods, Wilder. You didn’t tell me you found your mate. I am so happy for you both. I’m Esmeralda, but you can call me Esme or Mom if you’d like.” She wraps Riley in a tight embrace, yeah, Mom is a hugger. She comes over to me and I open my arms to hug her but she smacks me in the back of the head instead.
“Ouch. Seriously what is it with everyone doing that?”
“You should know better than to keep secrets from your mother, young man. Your mate, you didn’t think to tell me?”
Riley stands there with her hand over her mouth but I can see the glee shining from her eyes and Willow outright laughs.
“Sorry, Mom,” I reply while rubbing the back of my head.
“Take a seat you two. Let’s get to know each other.” That’s Mom, take charge and hold nothing back.
We stayed at the hospital for two hours before Willow’s energy was drained and she needed to rest. We left with a promise to return. Willow adored Riley. After Riley shared stories of her adventures with Grace, Willow made her promise to bring Grace by for a visit as well. Riley promised to try.
Heading back to the penthouse, Riley turns the radio down. “Tell me about Willow.”
Taking a second to think over my answer, I conclude to hold nothing back. “Willow just turned 14 last month. She is autistic with leukemia. My Dad left us when she was only 5 years old. He said he couldn’t handle his daughter being different. But Willow is a light, a joy. She loves to laugh and dress up just like any other little girl. She may be a little slower than others in learning new skills, but she is bright and too damn smart. She has her bad days where she lashes out but don‘t we all? She was diagnosed with cancer shortly after he left.
“My Mom has had a hard time keeping steady employment with the constant calls from teachers or caregivers for Willow. Finding decent and affordable care for an autistic child with cancer is challenging.
“When I was old enough, or rather when I was tall enough to see over the dash of a car, I told Mom to stay home with Willow. No more caregivers and stupid teachers that didn’t care about her. I’d provide for us, that was when I started racing. I became an adrenaline junkie, that was my escape, my drug. Driving at 100 miles an hour through sharp turns with a straight cliff drop on one side and a mountain wall on the other, gave me that high. The escape I needed to make it through each day.
“Until I met the guys. Our meeting was not the smoothest, what with Enzo beating the shit out of me and all. But we’ve developed a bit of a bromance since then.” Riley laughs at that.
“Yea, I’d say. Some of you have a closer bromance than others even.”
“You’re talking about Axel and Cree. Yeah, I never saw that c
oming. But it looks like you’re enjoying it.” Riley turns three shades of red in embarrassment. “Don’t be embarrassed, girl. Hell, take a bite out of that Manwich and enjoy yourself.”
“How old are you guys?”
“Well let’s see here. Enzo is the youngest of us at 26. Axel is next having turned 27 last month. I just turned 29. Reed is currently 31, his birthday isn’t until December. And grumpy daddy bear just turned 34 a couple days ago.”
“Shit, we missed your guys’ birthdays?”
“There were bigger and much more important things going on, Riley, it’s okay. We’ll have to have a big party and celebrate everyone’s birthday when we get this Alastair shit handled, okay?”
“Deal.” She states with a smile.
“Hey, Wild?”
“Yeah, Riley.”
“I’m getting really tired. Will you take me back to my apartment rather than the penthouse please.”
“Sure thing.”
Riley sinks back into her seat with a soft smile that causes her to glow. It’s a stunning sight to behold.
Pulling up to Riley’s apartment she opens her door and turns back to me. “Thank you for taking me to meet your family, Wild. I do understand why you made the choice you did. I would have chosen to protect them as well. But I’ll need some time to come to terms with you not telling me. I hope you can understand that.” Leaning in she gives me a kiss on the cheek, which fills me with the hope that we’ll be alright. “Good night, Wild.”
“Good night, Riley.”
Chapter Eleven
Riley
The silence of my apartment is both relaxing and nerve-racking. Needing a distraction, I pull out a bottle of water, my e-reader, and some candles. Entering my bathroom, I set up the candles around the room and light them in turn. I set my drink on the edge of the tub and start up the water. I dump in half a bottle of vanilla-scented milky bubbles and some lavender oil-infused salts. I strip off my shirt as a growl sounds behind me. Freezing in place I take a deep breath. I know who’s here without having to look, I can feel him imprinted on my soul. The scent of campfire and honey confirms my feelings. “Cree,” I breathe out. The tension I feel from him is thick, lust-filled, but also aggressive.
Shattered Strength: Shadowcrest Pack Series Book Two Page 9
