by Mandy Baggot
‘Cole, this is crazy. This is a sympathy proposal. The psycho turned up, you feel sorry for me, you want to protect me and this is your way of doing it. You don’t need to. It isn’t your place.’
‘I’d like it to be.’
‘This isn’t how things usually go. There’s usually a prologue.’
‘I think ours started at the airport.’
‘You’re on the rebound.’
‘No, been there, done that. Sally, Avril and a real crazy chick called Cleo.’
‘I’m not right for you. I’m not educated and I’ve been stealing from your T-shirt collection,’ Robyn admitted bashfully.
‘I know all that. I also know you drink way too much, and I know how bad you look before your first coffee in the morning. We’re just right together, Robyn, don’t ask me to explain it. When we first met, you bowled me over, just because you were you. Robyn Matthers, straight-talking, unpretentious, bossy, determined…’
‘You can stop now.’
‘I like you, you like me. You can’t deny that. It doesn’t matter whether we’ve known each other three days or three decades.’
‘Is being attracted to each other enough, though?’
‘How does everyone else start off?’
‘On a date.’
‘And you don’t do dates, so why don’t we start off with a proposal,’ Cole suggested.
Robyn let out a laugh and shook her head. She took a deep breath and looked at him. He was perfect. In every way he was perfect—and he was asking her to marry him. Despite the anxiety she felt, the overriding emotion was excitement and the promise of a life with someone who knew everything about her and only cared about her all the more for it.
‘What?’ Cole asked, looking at her intently.
‘I don’t need looking after.’
‘Neither do I.’
‘Good.’
‘Good.’
She threw her arms around him and pushed him down onto the sofa, savoring the way his mouth tasted entwined with hers. She ran her fingers through his thick, black hair and felt him hold her to him so tightly. She wanted so much for it to be real. She wanted the way she felt for him to be what she had been too scared to look for. She wanted to be free from everything she’d been before. She wanted a new start and she wanted to share that with him.
She stopped kissing him and held him away from her, drinking in his masculine beauty.
‘Your mother’s going to hate me. I’m no good with the vacuum,’ she said, touching his lips with a finger.
‘And she does love the color pink.’
‘Stop it!’
*
He’d just proposed. In the middle of the den of a house he had only spent a few days living in, in a state he had just moved to, to a girl he had met at the airport. It was crazy, one of those stories you read in magazines. A hurried proposal, a short-lived romance, and a messy divorce. But he didn’t feel that way about it. He felt invigorated. He felt alive. So much for choosing the single life! So much for focusing on his work, giving the project his full and undivided attention, and steering clear of potential heartache. She’d somehow got inside him. He felt more for her than he had ever felt for anyone. They shared an undeniable connection. She needed stability in her life and he could give her that. He could be the person to show her that life was full of ruts in the road, but the damaged tires made you stronger, you just had to put on a new tread and keep going. That’s what he’d done and he was hanging on despite himself. Maybe they needed each other.
He smiled. She was singing in the bathroom. Tammy Wynette.
*
The weather was terrible. The Panthers had lost three-zero and her dad was staying behind lecturing them, making them train for an hour before he let them leave the arena. They had been awful, Brad had got injured just before half-time, they had lacked pace and their mistakes in defense had given away the goals.
Robyn was walking home and the wind was threatening a bad storm. It started to rain and she quickened her pace, breaking into a jog. She was wearing jeans, her Panthers shirt and her mom’s bright yellow raincoat. It started to stick to her as she sweated and it rained. She was concentrating so much on getting out of the weather, she didn’t see, hear or feel anything before it was happening.
Suddenly everything went dark, someone grabbed her. Her head was covered, she couldn’t see and she couldn’t breathe. Hands were pulling at her, dragging her off the roadside. She screamed, but the wind was too loud, the rain too heavy. His gloved fingers dug into her arms as he wrenched her out of sight. She gasped for air. The Panthers had lost, and she was going to die.
Robyn bolted upright in bed, her breathing rapid, sweat forming on her brow. It was the dream again. She hadn’t had the dream since she had arrived back in Portage, but here it was, same as always. She usually could never get through a week without having the nightmare. It never changed; it was just a re-run of events leading up to what happened that night.
She looked at her watch. It was almost 3 a.m. The wind was blowing a gale outside and the rain battered the windows. She was never going to get back to sleep.
She got out of bed, went to the door, and opened it. Just across the landing was Cole’s bedroom. He was probably asleep. Her head ached. She had drank too much at Taboo—everyone had. She only hoped they recovered before the game that evening. They had to win, or at least draw. She couldn’t have the humiliation of defeat on her hands.
She crept across the landing and knocked on the door. She didn’t wait for a reply but opened it. Cole raised his head from the pillow and looked over at her, his eyes half open.
‘Are you awake?’ Robyn asked, self-consciously pulling her T-shirt down over her thighs.
‘I am now. You okay?’ Cole asked, propping himself up, straightening the covers, and flicking on the lamp.
‘Look, being as how we’re engaged and everything—or did I imagine that? Because I can tell I drank a lot tonight and I’m not so good at recalling everything perfectly when I’ve had a few drinks—but if I’m right and we are engaged, can I sleep with you? And even if we’re not engaged, could I still sleep with you? You know, have a pillow or two, share the duvet,’ Robyn said, her cheeks flushing as she spoke.
‘You don’t like the wind? I would have thought you would love the Michigan elements,’ Cole remarked with a smile.
‘Not all of them,’ Robyn admitted.
‘Come here,’ Cole said, opening up the covers for her.
‘You do have some sort of clothing on under there, don’t you?’
The thought of lying next to him naked gave her a dual emotion. One half of her felt a jolt of excitement and the other half was stricken with fear, like a nervous virgin in a room full of dildos.
‘No. Generally don’t sleep in my clothes.’
‘Oh,’ Robyn said, pausing by the bed and wondering what to do.
‘Relax, Calvin Klein’s covering me up, get in,’ Cole urged her.
Robyn got into the bed and he put his arms around her, pulling her into him.
‘Listen, about this getting married stuff,’ Robyn said, turning over and facing him.
‘Yeah?’
‘Can we keep it to ourselves for a while?’
‘Sure,’ Cole agreed.
‘I’m not having second thoughts, but in the morning that might be different. You know after about three pints of water and some Advil. It’s just my dad hasn’t had his bypass yet and…’ Robyn paused.
‘You think the news might make him have another coronary,’ Cole said with a smile.
‘I don’t know, maybe, I mean, it’s almost making me have one,’ Robyn admitted.
‘I’m not perfect, Robyn,’ Cole whispered, looking at her.
‘You’re not?’
‘No. But I think we might be pretty perfect for each other,’ he said, linking his hand with hers.
‘I’m really not very good with the vacuum, is it going to be a deal-breaker with your mom?’
> ‘How about I do the vacuuming and you fix Leonora.’
‘And you’ll cook, right? And fold sheets.’
‘Right, that’s it. I’m turning off the light.’
Twenty-Two
The doorbell rang.
Robyn opened her eyes and closed her mouth. For a second she couldn’t remember where she was, and then she felt Cole’s arm around her and suddenly memories of the previous night came flooding back, along with a banging headache.
‘Cole, there’s someone at the door. What time is it?’ Robyn asked, nudging him awake.
He opened his eyes and looked at his watch.
‘It’s not even nine,’ he replied with a groan.
The doorbell rang again.
‘It might be important. Go and see who it is,’ Robyn urged, tugging at his arm.
‘Man, if I’m vacuuming in this relationship, can’t you be the one who opens the door when people call too early?’ Cole asked, reluctantly getting up and throwing a T-shirt over his head.
‘Is this our first row?’ Robyn asked innocently.
He hurried down the stairs as the doorbell rang again.
‘Robyn, Sarah’s here!’ Cole called up the stairs.
She couldn’t hear what Sarah was saying to him, but it sounded probing. Poor Cole, having to endure a hundred questions from her inquisitive friend who could very easily have got a job with the FBI. She grabbed the closest thing and made her way down the stairs.
‘… It just made sense,’ Robyn heard Cole say.
‘What made sense?’ Robyn asked as she entered the kitchen, wrapping Cole’s robe around her.
‘Cole was just telling me about you moving in here.’
‘Oh yeah, old news,’ Robyn replied stiffly.
‘Oh Robyn, I am so sorry about everything I said about Jason. Mickey told me about last night, said he turned up at the go-kart center,’ Sarah said, tears pricking her eyes.
‘Yeah,’ Robyn answered.
‘Are you okay? I mean, Mickey said he basically attacked you, insisted he speak with you,’ Sarah carried on.
‘I’m okay,’ Robyn replied, knowing she didn’t sound very convincing.
‘I’m gonna call Grant; I’m gonna tell him what I think of him. He should have told you he was back, he should have told us he was coming back,’ Sarah exclaimed.
‘No. Don’t do that. I’ll be seeing Grant later at the arena. I don’t want anyone to do anything on my behalf. I can deal with it,’ Robyn insisted.
‘Can you?’
‘Yes.’
‘It might be worth speaking to the cops. I mean, it is harassment,’ Cole told her.
‘Haven’t you made coffee yet?’ Robyn asked, tightening the robe around her.
‘Shall I remind you where the vacuum lives?’ he retorted.
‘God, you two sound like a couple,’ Sarah remarked, looking at Robyn with wide eyes.
‘Don’t be ridiculous, we’ve—’
‘Only known each other four days,’ Cole added.
‘Do you want to listen to the fridge? If I open the door, it’ll say something really cool,’ Robyn said, heading for the door.
‘Robyn, you should have called the police. He can’t be hassling you like that,’ Sarah said.
‘I don’t want the police, I just want to—I don’t know—make a fresh start, move on,’ Robyn said, looking up at Cole.
‘And you can do that now?’
‘I don’t know, I hope so. We’ll have to see, won’t we,’ Robyn answered.
She wasn’t sure of anything. She only had to hear his name and bile rose in her throat. She didn’t know whether she could move on yet, especially now that he was back in town. But what else could she do? She was so tired of being a victim.
‘I’ll look after her,’ Cole stated, looking at Sarah.
‘You will not! I don’t need looking after, I told you that! Why does everyone want to look after me all of a sudden?’ Robyn exclaimed, letting out a frustrated breath.
‘Okay, okay, no looking after. How about shopping? I finish work at lunchtime. We could hit the mall. We haven’t done that since the time we set the fire alarm off in that high-class handbag shop,’ Sarah reminded her.
‘I don’t know, I don’t think I’m going to have time. I’m going to see my dad this morning, then I’ve gotta get to the roadhouse, and then it’s the game tonight. Anyways, I’m surprised you wanna go anywhere with me after what I said about Mickey and marriage,’ Robyn said, taking the milk out of the fridge and tightening the lid.
‘It isn’t like I didn’t know that already, is it? You just told me the truth,’ Sarah said with a swallow.
‘I said it to hurt you, though,’ Robyn admitted.
‘I know.’
‘But you’re my best friend. I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘I know that, too,’ Sarah said, looking up at Robyn and offering her a faint smile.
‘What d’you need to do at the roadhouse?’ Cole asked.
‘I need to oversee. We’re supposed to be opening next Friday, and half the new stuff hasn’t arrived yet and the place still isn’t how I want it. Does Mickey have some car parts I can have?’
‘Car parts?’
‘Yeah like a fender or some hub caps. I was gonna hang some stuff on the walls.’
‘I’ll ask him.’
‘I can oversee whatever needs overseeing if you want to go to the mall.’
‘You think you can keep an eye on Milo and Nancy? Alone?’ Robyn commented.
‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ Cole asked her.
‘Er, let me think. Nancy invites all her lowlife friends over, they ruin the new décor, fill the place full of marijuana plants, and start bare knuckle fighting,’ Robyn suggested.
‘That’s the worst you got? I might even join in,’ Cole joked.
‘That’s settled then. I’ll meet you outside the entrance to the mall about one,’ Sarah said, heading toward the door to the hall.
‘Coffee’s nearly ready,’ Cole announced.
‘Oh thanks, but I’d better not. Got a nine-thirty appointment out at Vicksburg,’ Sarah informed him.
‘He needs to make it quicker. I’m still training him,’ Robyn said as she walked Sarah to the door.
‘I heard that!’ Cole called.
‘So, are you and Cole…’
‘Are me and Cole what?’
‘You know, like together?’
‘No! God, no! Of course not, I mean we’ve only known each other four days!’ Robyn exclaimed dramatically, clutching her throat for effect.
‘I know. You said. It’s just, you seem all the comfortable with each other.’
‘Wouldn’t you be comfortable in a million-dollar house? Look at it! Plasma TVs in every room and a talking Smeg!’ Robyn said quickly.
‘Does it have a movie theatre?’
‘No, but the basement is huge! We’re going to set up goals and practice hockey,’ Robyn informed her with a grin.
‘That’s so you.’
‘Actually, it was Cole’s idea.’
‘God, Robyn, he’s so cute. You should make a move on him,’ Sarah told her.
‘Yeah, well, he’s not all that when it comes to personal hygiene. He leaves his toenail clippings on the arm of the sofa and he doesn’t shower much,’ Robyn said.
‘No! But he looks so—’
‘Groomed, I know. Well, they say you never really know someone until you live with them. Okay, so I’ll see you at the mall at one,’ Robyn said, opening the door.
‘Great, it’s been ages since I went shopping, we’ll have ice cream too,’ Sarah continued.
‘Great! Now go, will you? I have a sick dad to get to this morning.’
‘Bye,’ Sarah said, hurrying down the driveway to her car.
Robyn closed the door and walked into the kitchen where Cole was pouring two cups of coffee.
She took the pot from him, put it on the counter, and kissed him.
‘Sar
ah thinks we look comfortable together,’ she said between kisses, running her hands through his hair.
‘And that’s bad how?’
‘Because it’s too soon for us to look comfortable together. We have to make everything seem normal,’ Robyn suggested.
Cole kissed her lips and shook his head at her.
‘What?’
‘Everything is normal.’
‘No, it isn’t. Sarah says we look comfortable, you asked me to marry you and I said yes.’
‘No one knows that yet. No one has to know that yet. We’re friends, that’s all we’re going to look like… unless you can’t keep your hands off me, of course.’
‘It’s so the other way around, I mean, you practically undress me with your eyes whenever I walk into a room.’
‘You’ve noticed.’
Robyn smiled at him.
‘Here, want to tighten up the lid?’ Cole asked, passing her the milk carton.
‘Can we go on a date?’
Cole looked at her, unsure.
‘Can we go on a date?’ Robyn repeated.
‘But you don’t do dates,’ Cole reminded her.
‘I’m changing my mind.’
Twenty-Three
‘Good morning! Wakey wakey! Half the day is gone! Max, is that the form guide you’re studying! Do you have someone who comes and puts in bets for you?’ Robyn exclaimed in horror as the old man shoved the papers under his covers.
‘None of your business. Who’s this?’ Max questioned, narrowing his eyes and staring at Cole.
‘This is Cole. Cole, this is my dad’s roommate, Max,’ Robyn introduced.
‘Pleased to meet you, sir,’ Cole greeted.
‘What’s this? Manners? He can’t be with you, gal, if he has manners. Eddie! Someone with manners! Got any Twinkies?’ Max questioned, grabbing Cole’s arm as he passed the bed.
‘Don’t answer that. Whatever you say, he’ll want to strip search you. Hi Dad, brought you some more juice,’ Robyn said, putting a bottle of apple squash on top of his locker.
