by J. S. Scott
I smiled against his skin, content to cuddle with him while he caught his breath. I’d always wondered what in the hell could be sexy about giving a guy oral sex. Now, I knew. There was a certain connection, a sharing of their pleasure if it was the right guy. And Xander was that man for me. I’d felt every pulse of his orgasm, and it was one of the hottest things I’d ever experienced.
I lifted my head and looked at his face. “Does this hurt?” I gently touched the bruise under his eye.
He shook his head. “After what just happened, nothing hurts,” he answered huskily.
There was still a darkness to Xander that called to me. It wasn’t sinister, and it wasn’t evil. It was an empty place inside both of us, a place that dwelt inside us from the bad things that had happened in our lives. It was a dusky area that only lit up when we were together.
I took my hand away from his bruised face, afraid that I’d hurt him. My fingers went instinctively to the teardrop around my neck. “Thank you for this,” I whispered.
“You look good wearing it with absolutely no clothes on,” he said with a smirk.
His expression slowly turned wicked as sin, and I squeaked as he pinned me to the couch so fast I never saw it coming.
“My turn,” he demanded in a hoarse voice.
I looked up at him and melted completely.
CHAPTER 24
SAMANTHA
My body tensed with excitement as he raked his eyes over my face, his expression determined and stubborn.
“Your turn for what?” I asked breathlessly, pulling on the wrists he had confined over my head.
“My turn to make you come so hard you’ll forget your own name,” he rasped.
He’d mentioned that he liked to be dominant, and my body was responding to his bossy tone. “You want to be the boss?” I asked playfully.
“Baby, I am the boss,” he responded arrogantly. “You aren’t going anywhere.”
Heat sparked through my body as his demanding tone lit a fire inside me that was about to become a roaring inferno.
Xander was meant to be dominant, and probably had been before he’d been injured. I was an independent woman, but I had no problem playing this game with him. “What if I wanted to get away?”
“I’d still make you come. You gave up any possibility of escape the minute you took off your clothes,” he answered roughly.
“Then tell me what you want,” I purred.
“You,” he insisted. “Hot, completely at my mercy, and screaming my name.”
I shuddered at the image that flowed into my mind.
Xander rolled to the floor, careful to make sure I landed on top of him to break my fall before he pinned me beneath his hard body again. He sat up, his weight on his knees as he scooped up his T-shirt and yanked at the neck until it ripped all the way down to the hem. Then he jerked on it again, his biceps flexing with effort as the thin cotton garment gave.
Tossing away the remnants, he held up the strip he’d torn off the shirt. “You game?” he asked seriously.
I nodded, knowing exactly what he intended. “Yes. Please.”
For some reason, I craved his dominance right now, and I welcomed the cotton strip Xander used to tie my hands together, then secured it to the leg of the heavy couch.
“Mine,” he growled as he stared down at me, his eyes caressing my body and then landing on my face.
I relaxed, knowing I had nothing to do except let him please me. There was a freedom in it that I couldn’t explain. All I knew was that I wanted him to touch me.
“Xander. Please,” I whimpered, needing him to satisfy me.
He leaned down and kissed me tenderly before he said, “I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. I promise.”
His warm breath wafted over my neck and my sensitive earlobe, and I squirmed beneath him. I moaned as he finally placed his lips on my neck and gently licked and nipped his way to my breasts. “Yes,” I panted as his mouth clamped down on my nipple, his fingers playing with my other breast.
He nipped and laved. Pinched and soothed. Teasing me until I felt like I was about to lose my mind.
His movements were lazy, like he was in no rush.
“Xander,” I said in a pleading tone.
“Easy, Sam. I’ll get you off,” he vowed in a husky voice.
“Soon,” I begged.
I tensed as his mouth moved down my belly, his tongue trailing fire wherever it went. I squirmed against my bindings, my need urgent as my clit throbbed uncomfortably.
I yanked against the bindings, so frustrated that I started to pant.
Then he suddenly thrust his tongue into my pussy and zeroed in on the throbbing bundle of nerves that desperately needed attention.
“Yes!” I screamed, my body coming apart as Xander put his hands under my ass and brought my core to his mouth.
He wasn’t gentle or easy. I could tell the taunting was over, and he was deadly serious about making me come apart.
Xander devoured me like a man who had been deprived to the point of desperation, and I screamed as he fed on the heat of my desire.
My body completely ignited in white-hot flames as his tongue gave my clit the pressure and wet heat it needed.
“Oh, God. Xander!” I cried out, my body shuddering as I pulled against my bindings, the sensations so erotic that my climax thundered over me with an intensity that had my body trembling.
I wanted to touch him.
I wanted to hold his head against my core while I climaxed.
But all I could do was orgasm helplessly as Xander brought me to a high I’d never experienced before.
The bindings were the only thing keeping me grounded as my body arched in pleasure.
I spiraled down, panting for breath and almost afraid of the strength of my orgasm.
Xander was there, freeing my hands as he scooped me into his arms and sat on the couch with me cuddled in his lap. He stroked my hair tenderly as I caught my breath, smoothing it back from my face. “You okay, Samantha?” he asked anxiously.
I nodded, then wrapped my arms around his neck. I laid my head on his chest, surprised to hear that his heart was racing just like mine.
I don’t know how long we stayed just like that, me listening to Xander’s heart slow with mine, and letting him sink into my soul.
It was the most intimate I’d ever been with a guy, and he hadn’t even fucked me.
“Ready for bed?” Xander finally asked.
“Soon,” I answered, not wanting to let him go.
I moved, my limbs awkward as I straddled him.
“That could be dangerous, Sam. I want to be inside you so bad I can hardly breathe,” he warned in a guttural tone.
“I want that, too,” I admitted breathlessly.
“Ride me,” he encouraged.
“I thought you liked to be in charge,” I teased.
“I don’t give a shit about that as long as I can get inside you,” he answered. “Right now, I want you to ride me to oblivion while I watch you come again.”
God, I loved this man! He had no problem voicing exactly what he was thinking.
“What about you?” I joked.
“There’s no doubt I’ll get off. All I have to do is see you, or hear your voice, and I’m hard as nails.”
I kissed him gently as I reached down and grasped his aroused cock, then put it against my slick opening. I lowered myself down onto him, biting back a moan at how good it felt to finally have the two of us joined together.
Xander was a big man, and he filled me completely, my sheath stretching to accommodate him. “Oh, God, Xander. You feel so good.”
He wrapped his arms around me, and then his hands slowly slid to my hips. Leaning forward, he took one of my nipples in his mouth and sucked slowly but firmly. I moaned as he bit lightly as I moved down his shaft again, the dual sensation making my body sizzle with heat.
Xander guided my motions with his hands on my hips, speeding up the pace as our breathing got heavy and o
ur gasps turned into moans.
He never let up, his mouth teasing my breasts, his hands tightly on my hips, and his powerful body rising to meet every motion I made.
He shifted, and suddenly I could feel the friction on the sensitive nub inside the folds of my pussy. “Xander!” I gasped.
“Not yet,” he answered, his voice strained.
I could feel my climax approaching. “It’s not going to be much longer.”
One of his hands left my hips, and he grasped my hair gently to pull my head back.
I was frantic, moving up and down on his cock mindlessly.
I couldn’t think.
I couldn’t stop.
All I could do was come apart as Xander watched my face.
“Don’t close your eyes,” he insisted. “Look at me, Samantha.”
I braced my hands on his shoulders and gazed down just as my orgasm crashed over my body. Our eyes stayed locked as I moaned Xander’s name, feeling the pressure in my belly unfurl as I climaxed so forcefully it was nearly painful.
I watched the intense expression on Xander’s face, fascinated when he groaned and leaned his head back on the couch, finally breaking our eye contact. “Jesus! Samantha.”
The walls of my channel contracted, milking Xander of his own release.
I finally collapsed on top of him, as limp as a wet dishrag. When I could finally speak, it was haltingly. “I think I’m squashing you.”
His arms tightened around me. “Don’t move yet.”
I love you. I love you. I love you.
I desperately wanted to say those words, let them out from their hiding place deep inside my soul. But I wasn’t sure Xander was ready to hear them, or if he could return them.
“We’ll have to move someday,” I finally said, amused.
“Don’t leave me, Samantha,” he requested in a low voice.
The vulnerability in his voice shattered me. “I’m not planning on going anywhere, Xander, except to bed.”
“Sleep with me?” he asked.
“There’s no place I’d rather be.”
I gave him a sleepy smile and he grinned back as he hefted me into his arms and carried me off to his bed.
CHAPTER 25
SAMANTHA
A few weeks later, I was smiling as I walked down Main Street and spied Xander striding toward me.
He was in his usual dark T-shirt and black jeans, his gorgeous eyes hidden by a pair of dark sunglasses as he moved down the street with a sexy, powerful stride that immediately lightened my heart. Little by little, he was getting more comfortable in his own skin again, and he didn’t seem afraid to go out in public anymore.
I saw an occasional reaction to loud noises and crowds from his PTSD, but he was getting better and better at not reacting as he became accustomed and exposed to the outside world again.
I’d done some shopping while Xander had gone to a morning appointment with a counselor. It hadn’t been easy to get him back into therapy, but if he was going to continue to recover, he needed it.
He’d come so damn far, and he’d promised me that he was opening up to the male psychologist I’d searched out for him. Of course, in his usual Xander way, he’d questioned the fact that I was already living with him, and I was a psychologist. I’d explained to him that it just didn’t work that way. I’d never wanted him to be my patient, and I’d told him that was like asking a cardiac surgeon to do bypass surgery on a member of his family.
It didn’t work.
I was too involved.
I really wasn’t licensed in the state of Maine.
And I was in love with him.
I’d been way too close to the situation, even from the beginning. Since his parents’ murderer had been my patient, and I’d had to struggle with my own guilt, I’d never been able to be anything more than a friend to Xander.
Well . . . now I supposed I was a friend with benefits.
Not that I was complaining, and I didn’t want to ever push him for more than he was ready to give. He had enough on his plate to deal with, and I had a book to finish writing.
Thankfully, there had been no consequences of the unprotected sex Xander and I had engaged in on my birthday. I’d hightailed it to a doctor and gotten a Depo shot, and I was relieved when I got my period right after that office visit.
An unexpected pregnancy was the last thing either one of us needed. We’d had the talk, then agreed that neither one of us would have another sexual partner as long as we were together. We were careful after that, and now that the Depo was effective, we had sex almost everywhere, and in almost every conceivable position. He was insatiable, but I wasn’t complaining about that, either. I pretty much wanted him naked the moment I saw him.
My heart stuttered as he finally spotted me in the crowd, and his grin as he headed toward me made me start moving forward a little bit faster.
“How did it go?” I asked curiously as he pulled me into his arms for a kiss.
There was no answer until he had me thoroughly breathless from his quick but passionate embrace.
He finally lifted his mouth from mine, oblivious to the people milling around us. He wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked slowly down the street.
He shrugged. “It was good, I guess. I can’t exactly say I enjoy spilling my guts out to some guy in an office.”
“I know,” I answered. “But it helps. I’m proud of you, if that makes any difference.”
“It does,” he replied. “If it makes you happy, I’ll go every fucking day.”
I laughed, then punched his bicep playfully. “I think that’s pushing it. But thank you for listening to me.”
“You’re the doctor.”
I nodded. “Yes, I am.”
I really was proud of Xander. I was pretty sure that every visit to his counselor was excruciating, but he dragged himself into town and went there anyway. It took an extraordinary guy to force himself to do something so painful, especially since he hadn’t had the best of luck with mental-health professionals.
We stopped as we reached his vehicle, one very flashy black Ferrari convertible. Xander liked speed, but I had a feeling that his car had pretty much stayed in the garage for the last several years, probably cared for by his brothers.
He hadn’t bothered to put the top on. It was a gorgeous day, but I found it kind of interesting that he apparently wasn’t concerned about whether or not his car would get stolen.
As he opened the passenger door, I asked him teasingly, “What are you going to do in the winter?”
“Buy myself a truck,” he countered immediately with a mischievous smile.
I rolled my eyes at him. “That’s sort of a waste,” I scolded without much conviction. Really, Xander could afford whatever he wanted, but he seemed to love it when I gave him hell about being wealthy and wasteful.
He shrugged. “If you’ve got it, flaunt it,” he drawled.
The man had no shame, but I found myself admiring his honesty. Xander didn’t try to pretend he was anything other than who he was. The guy was loaded, and never tried to pretend that he wasn’t. But he actually never flaunted his wealth like he’d claimed or treated anybody with anything less than kindness.
He was just a man who loved his big-boy toys.
Really, no different from any other guy.
I started to lower myself into the bucket seat when Xander froze, his eyes staring straight down the street.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
The noises were close, but I could tell it wasn’t an actual gunshot, although it damn well sounded like it. I straightened and followed Xander’s stare.
“I’ve got you, come back here!” The excited comment came from a young boy who was holding a toy gun in his hand. He was chasing after another child who scampered right past Xander.
I stepped in front of Xander, pulled off his sunglasses, and put my hands on both sides of his face. “Xander! Don’t go back there. It’s just a toy. A cap gun. You’re okay. I’m here.” My voi
ce was strong and confident as I turned his head down and stretched so he would look me in the eyes.
“Samantha?” he said in a confused tone.
“Yes. It’s me. Everything is okay.” I tried to make sure he didn’t slip into the past from seeing the gun and hearing the loud explosions from the toy. “Stay with me,” I insisted.
He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m here. I’m okay,” he answered huskily.
I let out a relieved breath. “Good. Everything is fine. It was just a kid with a cap gun.”
“Fuck! I hate it when that happens,” he said irritably.
“It’s fine,” I argued. “Relax. It’s going to happen once in a while now that you’re out in public. I know it’s inconvenient, but it will pass. Remember that.”
He leaned down and dropped a light kiss on my lips. “It sucks,” he said in a more focused tone.
“We can skip the farmers’ market if you want,” I offered.
We’d planned to drive outside of town and stroll around the local farmers’ market. I’d been hoping to find some wild blueberries for a cake.
“And miss the cake? Not happening,” he answered in a more confident tone.
“I think it will be mostly locals, so maybe it won’t be crowded.” I dropped into the seat, and Xander closed the passenger door.
“I’ll be okay,” he answered when he skipped opening the door and just hopped into the driver’s seat. “I have you.”
My heart melted just like it always did when he said something that sweet. “I’ve got your back,” I teased.
“And I have yours, including your gorgeous ass,” he said as he took his sunglasses from my hand and put them on.
I laughed because I couldn’t help myself.
It was a beautiful day.
I was riding in a convertible Ferrari with a gorgeous guy.
And he liked my ass.
Life was good, and I was going to enjoy every moment of it.
CHAPTER 26
SAMANTHA
For a fairly small town, Amesport had an amazing farmers’ market. It was mostly locals, but there was a fair number of people strolling the aisles for fresh produce and crafts.
