Howard slammed the aircraft level and pulled up hard, following the jets over a ridgeline. The second jet went higher than the first, higher than the Viper Jet. A glowing stream of lights filled the air.
“What the hell is that?!”
“They appear to be bullets, sir.”
“From where?”
Egg Roll’s voice came over the radio. “Did I forget to mention this is a live-fire exercise?”
“Yes, he did!” Danny shouted, mostly to himself.
“You boys might want to duck,” A-Hole added. His jet rolled in a tight spiral, evading the bullets. It then took up a position behind the Viper Jet.
A small town was visible over a nearby ridge. The moving map identified it as Solvang. Danny had attended a lovely wedding there once. They served the most delicious barbecue.
The Viper Jet whipped left, pulling Danny’s attention away from Solvang and barbecue.
The green trees and foliage gave way to canyons of red rock.
They flew over a lake, and past a hydroelectric power plant.
A hard, banking left turn swept them northward. Howard was doing an exemplary job of staying close to the lead jet; closer than the second jet was following behind them.
The rusty orange and brown striations of the red rock canyons gave way to a flat expanse of desert. The moving map confirmed they were indeed approaching the Mojave Desert.
Egg Roll climbed suddenly, then dropped again to his previous altitude.
A narrow, white exhaust plume appeared in the distance. It could only be one thing: a missile launch.
“Howard! On your right! One o’clock, coming fast!”
Danny’s helmet hit the canopy again when Howard banked hard to the left, sidestepping behind one of the numerous buttes. The missile impacted the top of the butte.
“Oops,” radioed Egg Roll.
“If I didn’t know better,” said Danny, “I’d think somebody was trying to kill us. Watch out!”
A large butte lay directly ahead. Howard went left; Egg Roll went right. Danny strained to look over his shoulder and saw A-Hole also went right. “These guys know this course.”
“A logical conclusion, sir.”
“Let’s get the hell out of here.”
“By what route, sir?”
“Straight up?”
“Climbing above one hundred feet seems to activate ground-based anti-aircraft systems.”
“So what do we do?”
“It seems the only way out is through.”
The buttes gave way to more hills, as high as 5800 feet according to the terrain mapping radar. Scattered across the hills were massive white windmills, each with a great three-bladed prop turning in the wind.
Egg Roll headed directly toward them.
Howard followed the line traveled by Egg Roll’s jet. Several times Danny winced when the blades of a windmill nearly struck the Viper Jet.
The deadly windmills receded into the distance and Danny saw another vast expanse of desert stretching before them. The moving map labeled it Wells Valley. In the near-center was the China Lake dry lake bed, and to the southwest lay a pattern of three runways built nearly in the shape of a capital letter A. This was Armitage Field, home to the Naval Air Weapons Station at China Lake. That would explain the Navy pilots. And the weapons.
Egg Roll dropped back until he was flying alongside Danny and Howard. A-Hole flew on their other side, sandwiching them in.
Egg Roll’s voice came on the radio. “This concludes our training for this afternoon, gentlemen. We sure hope you’ve enjoyed your time here at China Lake, and we hope you come see us again real soon.”
Danny pressed his push-to-talk button, “Oh yeah, it was fantastic. There’s nothing like dodging bullets and missiles to let you know you’re alive.” Danny hoped his sarcasm was evident. And adequate.
“That’s a real gentlemanly way of looking at it,” said Egg Roll.
“Hope we didn’t scratch that pretty airplane of yours,” added A-Hole.
“A-Hole and I best be getting our butts on the ground now. Since a good aviator knows his position at all times, I trust you boys can find your way home. Cheerio.” Egg Roll gave a two-fingered salute.
A-Hole rolled his jet up and inverted, flying directly above Danny and Howard, above Egg Roll, and down into formation on Egg Roll’s port side. Both jets banked gently away in unison, heading toward the great 10,000-foot long runway of Armitage Field.
“Well. That was surreal.”
“An accurate description, sir.”
“Mind if I take the flight controls while you plot us a course for home?”
“Not at all, sir. You have the flight controls.”
“I have the flight controls.” Danny wrapped his hand around the joystick. In the rear view mirror, Danny saw Howard raise his hands in the air and wiggle his fingers. Danny had never experienced air sickness. But with only a small amount of effort, he thought he could very well puke.
Chapter 13
The Blue Bar
Danny taxied the Viper Jet to the open hangar door and proceeded quickly through the shutdown sequence. He opened the canopy and inhaled deeply as the cool ocean breeze caressed his face.
He and Howard exited the Viper Jet, shrugged off their parachutes, and stood facing one another.
“What an unprecedented adventure,” said Howard.
“You can say that again.”
“I could, sir, but why would I? Did you not hear me?”
“I heard you, Howard. It’s a figure of speech. It means that your statement is true. Very true. Although, by comparison, we did crash-land into the Salton Sea only yesterday.”
“You are correct, sir. How quickly we seem to have forgotten.”
“I don’t know about you, Howard, but I could go for a cold beer right about now.”
“I do not drink, sir, for I do not have the anatomy enabling me to process food and beverage. But I quite understand the sentiment.” Howard’s gaze shifted. “Someone is coming.”
Danny turned and watched as a sporty red convertible drove up. The car came to a stop and the driver hoisted herself up and out of the seat and sat on the headrest, with her hands on the edge of the windshield. The ocean breeze fluttered her brown hair.
“I’m here!”
“Hi, Harley. Right on time.”
Harley placed one booted foot on the door sill and leaped out of the car. She wore black combat boots, snug black cargo pants, and a black tank top that went a long way toward accentuating her figure.
“You look like a guerrilla,” said Danny. “Planning an insurgency?”
“No. But if we crash land in a jungle someplace, don’t come crying to me when you get captured for lack of camouflage.”
Danny ignored the words “crash land”. He’d heard them enough in the past 24 hours. He turned to introduce Howard. “Harley, this is H-R-D-Zero-Zero-Zero-One. First of his kind. Also known as Howard. Howard, this is Harley.”
“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Harley,” said Howard.
Harley came closer and peered at Howard, surveying him up and down. She rubbed her fingers across his face, made a fist and knocked on his forehead, never returning Howard’s greeting.
Danny caught Howard’s eye, or rather Howard’s glowing red eyes caught Danny’s. Danny couldn’t be certain, but Howard appeared almost surprised.
“I’ve read a lot about you, Howard,” said Harley. “Some people, my grandfather for example, say you’re going to single-handedly revolutionize robotics. But I’m not so sure. I would have thought you’d be a bit more impressive.” She turned to Danny. “Not much to look at, is he?”
Danny could scarcely believe what he was hearing. Howard had, in the past 24 hours, demonstrated himself to be far more sophisticated and capable than any other robot Danny had ever encountered. His ace flying skills alone bordered on super-human.
“I dunno, Harley. He’s pretty impressive.”
“We’ll see,�
� said Harley. She faced Howard. “Begin protocol Alpha-Nine.”
“My apologies, Miss Harley, but all such protocols are limited to owner-access only.”
“Well that’s a load of crap,” said Harley. “What happens if you malfunction at the Beverly Center food court and start tossing children over the railing? How can you be shut down?”
“My apologies once again, Miss Harley, but I would never commit an offense such as the one you’ve just described. My laws would cause a shut-down prior to such an . . . atrocity.” Howard sounded genuinely disturbed by the thought.
“Laws my ass,” said Harley. “The three laws only go so far. Robots need to be controlled. By people. Real people. Trust me, I’m a roboticist, I know whereof I speak.” She faced Danny. “Is he coming with us?” She looked at the airplane. “Of course he’s not coming with us, there’s only two seats. Good one, Harls. Is this my parachute?” She bent and picked up the parachute Howard had worn. “Howard didn’t pack my chute, did he? There are some things which are best done by real people; flying airplanes and packing parachutes are but two of them.”
Danny found Howard looking at him again.
“I do hope you’ll enjoy your flight with Master Danny, Miss Harley,” said Howard. “It was very nice meeting you.” Howard’s tone was off a bit; his voice sounded almost syrupy. He turned to Danny. “Shall I wait for you in the hangar, sir?”
“No, Howard, that’s okay. Why don’t you go on home. Harley, can you give me a ride home later?”
“Ooh, I’d like that.”
“Here, Howard. Take my car.” Danny handed the keys to Howard.
“Very good, sir.” Howard climbed into Danny’s car, reversed out of the hangar, and drove away.
“Keep an eye on that one.” Harley stared closely at Howard. Then she shifted her focus to the Viper Jet and the parachute in her hands. “So do I get to sit in front?”
“Uh, no. I sit in the front. You sit behind.”
“Ooh, I like it from behind.” She draped one arm over his shoulders and around his neck. “Forgive me, Dan, if I seem a bit forward. But I’m a girl who doesn’t believe in wasting time.”
Harley was tall. Not as tall as Candy, but close, and Danny found himself looking into Harley’s big brown eyes. He caught the scent of her perfume, sweet and musky.
“Do you want to show me how to use the parachute?” Harley asked.
“Right.”
Danny demonstrated the same safety and egress procedures he’d shown Howard. Harley listened closely and attentively without interrupting, even after she was seated in the Viper Jet and Danny instructed her to keep her hands off his joystick. Despite whatever innuendo she may or may not have read into the statement, she said nothing. She merely went on smiling.
Danny climbed into his seat, fired up the engine, and within a few minutes was taking the runway for the second time that day. He said a quick prayer that this flight would be less eventful than was his flight with Howard.
Danny advanced the throttle to Take-Off Thrust, relishing the feeling of being pressed into his seat. At 90 knots, he rotated, pulling gently on the stick, and they were airborne.
“Ooh, I have got to get my pilot’s license,” declared Harley. “This is almost as good as sex.”
They flew over the coastline and reached 1,000 feet in altitude. Danny leveled off, pulled the nose up a bit, and executed a smooth barrel roll.
Harley laughed out loud. “Do that again!”
Danny repeated the maneuver.
Harley laughed even louder.
“Ever been inverted?” Danny asked.
“Inverted?”
Danny rolled the Viper Jet onto its back.
“Holy shit!” exclaimed Harley. “We’re upside down.”
“Look up.”
Harley gasped. The ocean, vast and blue, stretched on and on, all the way to the setting sun.
“Want to fly to Catalina this way?” Danny asked.
“What way?”
“Inverted.”
“Hell no, my ass is off the seat.”
Danny gently rolled level.
“Oh my God,” said Harley. “Do you do that all the time?”
“Yes.”
“Do you ever throw up?”
“Never.”
“Not even once?”
“Not even once. Do you feel okay?”
“I think so. I’m a little lightheaded.”
“If you vomit, you clean it up. That’s the rule of the cockpit.”
“It’s a good rule.”
“Look to your left, Harley.”
“Wha— Oh, wow!”
Below and to the left was Catalina Island, tall and green, rising up out of the ocean.
“We’re here already?”
“It’s only about twenty miles. An hour by boat. Just a few minutes for us.”
“Where’s the runway?”
“Down there, right on top of the plateau. See that little gray strip of road? That’s the runway.”
“You’ve landed here before, right?”
“No.”
“No? What do you mean No?”
“I mean no, I’ve never landed here.”
“Are you sure you can do it?”
“We’re about to find out.”
“Oh, that’s comforting.”
“There’s a forty-dollar landing fee.”
“So?”
“So, I’m paying for the gas. And probably dinner and drinks.”
“I thought this was a date. You’re the man. You should pay.”
“Fair enough.”
“And they say chivalry is dead.”
Danny reduced the throttle, decreased altitude and airspeed, and entered the pattern. He keyed his mic, “Catalina traffic, Viper Jet Niner-Victor-Juliet is downwind runway two-two, request advisories, Catalina.” He lowered the landing gear and deployed flaps.
“Who’re you talking to?”
“Anybody who might be landing or taking off here.”
“I don’t hear anyone.”
“But that doesn’t mean they’re not there. It’s standard procedure to always announce your position and intentions.”
“I see.”
“This is an interesting approach.”
“Interesting in what way?”
“The ground rises up to meet you as you’re descending toward the runway. If you screw up, you can fly right into the hillside.”
“That’s comforting.”
“Don’t worry. I do this all the time.”
“But never here.”
“No, never here.”
Danny keyed his mic. “Catalina traffic, Viper Jet Niner-Victor-Juliet, right base, runway two-two, Catalina.” He deployed another notch of flaps, checked his airspeed, glanced left to make certain no other aircraft were approaching, glanced at the three green lights which confirmed the landing gear was down, and glanced at Harley in the back seat. “You want to take the next radio call?”
“What do I say?”
“See the little red button on the joystick? Press that and say, ‘Catalina traffic, Viper Jet Niner-Victor-Juliet, on final for runway two-two, Catalina.’ ”
“When do I say it?”
Danny deployed the final notch of flaps, began a gentle right turn to line up with the runway, looked again at the three green landing gear indicator lights, and checked his airspeed. “Go ahead.” He heard the mic click open.
“Catalina traffic, Viper Jet Niner-Victor-Juliet is on final for runway two-two, Catalina.” She released her mic. “Was that good?”
“That was very good.” And it was.
“How did I sound?”
“Like a seasoned aviator.”
“Yeah!” Harley screamed and shook her fists in the air. “Flying is great. I love flying. It’s so exhilarating. God, I’m so horny right now. Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s quite all right. Ready to land?”
“Ready.”
Danny shifted his attention back to the runway. He checked his airspeed, glanced one final time at the three green lights to make sure the landing gear was down and locked, and continued the descent toward the runway.
The steep cliff rose upward, creating the illusion of the descent being steeper than it actually was. Danny resisted the urge to pull back on the stick, to get away from that approaching cliff.
And then they were over it. The cliff was safely behind them. The three large yellow painted chevrons pointed to the threshold of the runway like giant inverted V’s, followed by a solid white line and a giant 22 painted on the runway.
“Why are runways numbered the way they are?” Harley asked.
“They’re compass headings. Runways are always built so that they point into the prevailing wind. The number is the compass heading. In this case, it’s two hundred-twenty degrees, or south-southwest. Ready to land?”
“Ready!”
Danny pulled on the stick as the ground approached. A bit more, a bit more, keeping the nose up as the airspeed bled off.
Chirp!
A soft thump from the main landing gear. The nose of the jet slowly lowered to the runway. And they were safely down.
Danny pressed the brake pedals with his toes, slowed the jet, and exited onto the taxiway at the end of the runway. He taxied to an open tie-down spot, shut down the aircraft, and opened the canopy.
A cool breeze filled the cockpit, cooler and a bit stronger than the breeze in Santa Monica, but every bit as refreshing.
Danny released his safety harness, removed his helmet, and twisted in his seat in order to see Harley.
Harley sat calmly, hands still holding her safety harness. She gently removed her helmet and stared into the distance. The setting sun painted her face in a warm, golden light, and the ocean breeze lifted her long brown hair. She was very beautiful. Very different from Candy, but equally attractive.
“Harley.”
Eye Candy Page 11
