by Maya Banks
She knew she owed Ash a response. An explanation. Something! She’d told him she wouldn’t take long, but how could she go to him with bruises inflicted by a man who’d been her dominant?
Of course, it was laughable now. He wasn’t a true dominant. He’d been playing at it. It was an ego trip for him. He’d become someone completely different the moment he realized she was serious about ending their relationship. Her mistake had been mentioning Ash at all, not that she’d called him by name, but she’d told Michael that he couldn’t give her the things another man had promised her.
Now she wasn’t so certain. What if Ash was no better? She knew next to nothing about him. She’d been ready to commit, had actually made up her mind to call him the same day Michael had come to her apartment. After that fiasco, she’d harbored doubts and self-preservation had kicked in.
If Ash was more intense than Michael—and it was evident he definitely was—then could she expect the same kind of treatment at his hands? Or even worse?
Her head spun with the possibilities and she knew she was in no emotional state to be making such a huge decision. To place her trust, her well-being, her entire self into the hands of a man like Ash. And so she’d remained silent, mulling over her decision, going back and forth.
The fact was, she was afraid. And that fear had prevented her from either accepting or declining his proposition. And she hated that fear. It wasn’t how she wanted to live her life or make her decisions. She needed a clear head before taking that huge step in trusting another man who could very well turn out just like Michael.
She heaved an unhappy sigh and reached into her pocket to retrieve the keys to her apartment. Her head was still down when she reached the steps and she saw an expensive pair of shoes directly above the first step leading down to her door.
Startled, she glanced up to see Ash standing there. As he looked her over, fury blazed in his eyes and she took an instinctive step backward.
“What the hell happened to you?” he demanded.
He was seething, anger bristling from him in waves. Gone was any semblance of charm or laid-back calm. He was one huge ball of pissed-off alpha male.
“Please, not here,” she whispered. “I just want to go inside. Let me by and then leave.”
His expression of complete what the fuck made her pause as she attempted to push by him. He grasped her shoulders, his grip firm but extremely gentle, his fingers against her skin, but not pressing into her flesh.
“I want to know who the fuck did this to you,” he growled.
Her shoulders sagged and she nearly dropped the keys that dangled precariously from her fingers. She tightened her grip and then pushed her chin upward.
“Let me by,” she said through clenched teeth.
To her surprise, he dropped his hands and let her go down the steps, but he followed closely behind, giving her no option to go in and shut the door to prevent his entry.
She sighed as she unlocked her door and pushed it open. She felt better the moment she was inside. Her own space. It was laughable that she felt safe here after what had happened with Michael. But now that she knew just what he was capable of, she’d never make the mistake of letting him within a mile of her.
She dropped her purse by the door and walked into her tiny living area. Ash closed the door, sliding the deadbolt into place, and then he too entered her living room. A room that suddenly seemed way smaller with him in it. He stood there, staring at her, his gaze relentless as he did a thorough up-and-down of her body, stopping once again on the bruise on her cheek.
His eyes grew cold and she shivered.
“I haven’t heard from you,” he began.
She flushed guiltily and lowered her gaze, not wanting him to see all she wanted to hide.
“And now I’m thinking there was a reason you haven’t called me.”
Slowly she nodded, still not meeting his gaze.
“Josie, look at me.”
His voice was soft. Gentle even. But it was definitely not a request. It was a command. One she felt compelled to obey.
Slowly she lifted her head so their eyes met.
“Who did this to you?”
Gone was the gentleness, replaced by an edge of steel to his tone. His entire body vibrated with fury and it made her hesitant to tell him what had happened. How she’d ever thought him not dangerous or perhaps charming or affable she had no clue. Because the man standing in front of her right here, right now, looked capable of terrible things.
And it wasn’t that she was afraid of him. No, she knew instinctively, even as she was shrouded in fear over what had already happened to her, that this man would not hurt her. But he was angry. Angry didn’t even begin to describe what she saw in his eyes. And he absolutely looked capable of killing someone. She found herself not wanting to tell him, because she feared not him, but what he’d do.
“Josie, answer me,” he said through his teeth. “Who. Did. This. To. You.”
He wasn’t going to allow her not to tell him. And though she didn’t fear reprisal, she knew she absolutely had to obey him. He wouldn’t allow her to duck the question. She firmly believed he’d stand here all night, do whatever it took to get what he wanted.
She closed her eyes and exhaled in a long, weary sigh, her shoulders sagging in defeat.
“Michael,” she whispered, her voice so low she could barely hear it herself. Maybe she hadn’t even really voiced it.
“Say that again?”
The words whipped from his lips, snapping through the air with enough force that she felt them. She chanced a glance up and immediately flinched at the look on his face. It was . . . terrifying.
“You heard,” she whispered in only a slightly louder voice.
“You’re telling me that motherfucker put those bruises on your face? That he split your lip?”
He advanced and she rapidly took a step backward, which only seemed to piss him off even more.
“Goddamn it, Josie, I’m not going to hurt you! I’ll never fucking hurt you.”
The words were explosive. Not exactly soothing and yet she took comfort in the vehemence with which he made the vow. So much so that she took a step back toward him so they now only stood a foot apart.
His entire body still vibrated with rage. His green eyes were nearly black, the green just a thin ring around the dilated pupils. And then he raised his hands, slowly, as if he feared frightening her. He cupped her face in his palms, his touch infinitely gentle, and she didn’t know how he could possibly pull that off when the rest of his body was taut with fury and his expression was so black.
But that touch was so exquisitely tender that she literally melted into his hands. She felt no pain even though her face was still painful to touch several days after the incident. He brushed his fingers over the bruise and then traced the split at her lip, so lightly that she nearly didn’t feel it.
“I’ll kill him.”
Ash’s voice was absolute. The resolution in his voice made her blood chill in her veins because she believed him. In this moment, she believed him absolutely capable of killing the man who’d hurt her. Her pulse leapt and her breathing accelerated as panic shot down into her belly.
“No! Ash, please. Just let it go. This is why I didn’t want to tell you. Why I haven’t called.”
She would have said more, but he put his finger over the uninjured part of her mouth to silence her.
“Let it go?”
His tone was deadly.
“You want me to fucking let it go when that motherfucker put his hands on you? What the fuck happened, Josie, and I want every goddamn detail. Nothing left out. I want to know when this happened. I want to know how many times he hit you. And above all, I want to know why the hell you didn’t immediately come to me or call me, the instant this happened.”
Her mouth went slack against hi
s finger. And then, as if he changed his mind entirely, he pulled away, turning to survey her living room, glancing toward the open archway to her bedroom.
“I’m taking you to my apartment,” he said firmly. “You’re moving in with me.”
“Wait. What? Ash, I can’t—”
“This isn’t negotiable, Josie.” His eye glittered with purpose and his stance was rigid, brooking no compromise. “You’re coming with me. Now let’s go into your bedroom. You’re going to sit on the bed and tell me what you need packed for tonight. Tomorrow we can go over what you have to have or want moved to my place and I’ll arrange for someone to come in and have everything brought over. But when we have this conversation about that son of a bitch—and we are having that conversation—it’s going to be in a place where you feel absolutely safe. A place where you know no harm will come to you. That’s in stone.”
Her mouth dropped open even farther, but even amid the utter shock of his proclamation came . . . relief. Comfort. But mostly overwhelming relief. The decision had been wrested from her hands, and at the moment she embraced that. Her worries—fears—surrounding Ash seemed silly now. That she’d even entertained that he might be like Michael or that she would be entering an even worse situation than the one she’d just come from seemed absurd.
“I can pack my own things,” she whispered.
There was a sudden fire in his eyes. Satisfaction over her capitulation. Maybe he’d expected her to fight it more or even to outright refuse, though she could see he had no intention of backing down.
“Didn’t say you couldn’t pack. What I said was that you’re going to sit on your bed while I do this for you. All I need from you is to tell me what you want for tonight and maybe tomorrow. The rest will be taken care of after you and I have talked later tonight.”
Wow. Okay. This was moving at supersonic speed. She felt like she’d just gotten off an insane roller-coaster ride and was still trying to gain her bearings.
He held out his hand to her, not moving to her or taking it on his own. He simply held it out, waiting. Waiting for her to accept. To take his hand and to enter his world.
Taking a deep breath, she reached out, sliding her palm over his upturned one. He gathered her fingers gently in his hand and then squeezed, holding firmly. Like he was forging an unbreakable bond between them.
Then he pulled her gently toward her bedroom, and she followed, allowing him to lead her inside where he sat her on the edge of the bed as if she were incredibly fragile. Something precious and breakable.
He backed away and did a quick survey.
“Do you have an overnight bag?”
“In the closet,” she said huskily.
She watched in stupefaction as he briskly began to pack under her quiet direction. Didn’t they have it all turned around? He was doing everything for her. What had she done for him? But then, he had said he’d give a lot. But he’d take everything.
She shivered lightly, wondering just how much he’d take, and if she’d have anything left when he’d taken his fill.
chapter eleven
Ash wasn’t a stupid man. He knew he’d pressured Josie, given her no time to breathe, analyze or react to his arrogant demand. And it had been the height of arrogance to sweep into her apartment and order her to move into his.
So it was with brisk efficiency that he hurried about his task, because the longer she sat on that bed looking overwhelmed and befuddled, the more time she’d have to reconsider her quiet agreement. Which meant he risked her not coming home with him.
And that was not an option.
He packed an overnight bag, called his driver to make sure he’d be waiting outside Josie’s apartment, and then he hustled her toward the door, not giving her any further time to process the whirlwind event.
After urging Josie into the car, he closed her door and paused only a moment to call his doorman and ask him to go up to Ash’s apartment and take down the painting of Josie from his bedroom and store it, along with the others in his living room, until Ash retrieved them. He didn’t want Josie to know he was the one who’d bought her work. Not yet.
When he got into the car next to her, he relaxed and then glanced sideways, taking in her pale, shaken face. The bruises pissed him off. Enraged him. The split at the corner of her mouth stood out, a reminder that another man had put his hands on what Ash already considered his. That the man would have put his hands on any woman in such a manner. Not just Ash’s woman, but any woman. But most especially his woman.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea, Ash,” she said quietly, speaking for the first time since she’d given him hesitant instructions on what to pack for her.
“It’s a very good idea,” he said firmly. “You would have already come to me if it weren’t for that asshole. You know it and I know it. Now, we still have to address the matter of Michael, and we’ll do it when we’re in a place you feel safe and secure, and you’ll do it in my arms, where you know nothing bad is going to touch you. But know this. What he did doesn’t change one thing about you and me. We’re inevitable, Josie. From that first day in the park, we were inevitable. Fighting is a waste of time and mental energy. I’m not fighting it and I don’t want you fighting it either.”
Her mouth parted in surprise. Her eyes flashed, not in anger, but in recognition. Good. They were getting somewhere because she was starting to see what he saw. What he knew.
“Not happy that you kept this from me,” he continued. “That you didn’t come to me the minute this happened. But we’ll work on that. You weren’t mine yet even if I knew you were. But you are now. And you’ll come to me any time you have a problem.”
Slowly she nodded, and satisfaction—triumph—gripped him.
He held out his arm, not liking the distance between them, but not wanting to push her too hard. Not yet. He’d already pushed enough. He wanted her next move to be of her own doing, and so he waited, arm outstretched toward her.
She came readily, with no hesitation, and he liked that. She slid next to him, burrowing into his side so he could wrap his arm around her. And he did. Anchoring her against him. She laid her head against his chest, the top resting just underneath his chin. He liked her tucked there.
She gave a soft sigh and then seemed to melt into him, her body sagging as if a great weight had been lifted off. Relief.
The scent of her hair tantalized him. Soft and sweet, like her. He ran his hand up the length of her arm, enjoying the feel of her skin and knowing that soon, he’d discover all of her flesh. But for now she needed comfort. Safety. A sense of security. She needed to know that he would never hurt her. Never raise his hand to her as Michael had done.
He pressed his lips to her hair and inhaled even as he pressed the kiss to her head.
Deep. Yeah, he was in deep. He didn’t even have a fully thought-out plan. He’d acted on instinct. Knew he had to have her. Knew he had to have her in his space. And he knew if he didn’t press now, that he’d likely lose her.
Overwhelming her seemed the best idea, even if it made him a total bastard. But he wouldn’t compare himself to Michael. He wasn’t that man. He might not be the most understanding, patient and considerate person. And he definitely did not back down when he wanted something. But he’d never, ever raise his hand to a woman. The idea appalled him.
But he absolutely had no such problem meting violence out on the bastard who’d hurt Josie.
He shoved that thought aside, because he knew it had to be dealt with later—and it would be dealt with. But Josie came first. Her needs. Her comfort. Starting right now.
The drive was silent, and Ash did nothing to disturb it. He knew Josie was processing the evening’s events. Knew she was probably having second and third and fourth thoughts. But she was here in his arms, and as long as she was here and not in her apartment, he could fight dirty.
Instead he simply st
roked her skin, sliding his palms up and down her arms, offering her comfort the best way he knew how.
“I’m sorry, Ash,” she said quietly, her words nearly lost against his chest.
His hands stopped their upward progress and he tilted his head downward so he could better hear her.
“Why are you sorry?”
“For not calling you. For not responding when I said I would. I was just so freaked out.”
He slid his fingers underneath her chin and turned her face, tipping it upward so her gaze met his. Then he put a finger over her lips.
“Not now. And you won’t apologize to me. There’s nothing to apologize for. We’ll talk this out, Josie. I want to hear every word. But not here. For now just sit here with me, and let me hold you. When we get to my apartment, we’ll talk. But even then you won’t apologize for something that was not your doing. I may not have liked that you didn’t reach out to me when you needed someone, but I understand.”
Her smile was tremulous and warmth entered her eyes, removing some of the uncertainty and anxiety that had taken residence in the aquamarine pools.
“There, that’s better,” he said. “You have such a beautiful smile. I’m going to ensure that you do it more often, Josie. I’m going to make you happy. That’s a guarantee.”
She cocked her head, a baffled expression crossing her face. “I’m at a loss, Ash. Things like this just don’t happen. They don’t. A part of me thinks I’ve entered the Twilight Zone. It’s all . . . crazy.”
He smiled indulgently. “In my world, they do. Or at least they do now. Can’t say this has ever happened to me either, so we’re both entering new territory. But it’s your world too, Josie. There are no rules but the ones we make ourselves. Can’t say I’ve ever been much of a traditionalist anyway. I’m too much of a ‘do it my own way and fuck the rest of the world’ kind of guy.”
