by Jade Winters
She stopped and turned towards Teal who was leaning against the doorway, hands stuffed in her jacket pockets. Teal had been a surprise to Carissa. When she had spoken to her on the phone, Carissa would never have expected her to be such a sultry beauty. Why she didn’t know, but she just hadn’t. And when Carissa said sultry she meant it. Teal looked like the kind of brooding model that was found on the front of a women’s magazine cover.
Teal was tall; at least five-eight and she had the lean grace of a swimmer’s build. She had high cheekbones and dark glossy brown hair. Under thin arched eyebrows, her eyes were a pale, almost translucent green. Whenever she found herself meeting Teal eye to eye, Carissa felt distinctly self-conscious. She couldn’t be sure of Teal’s exact age, but thought her to be in her late twenties as she had the air of confidence of someone older than herself.
I wonder if she’s gay? She must be. Why else would she have looked at me like she wanted to eat me for dinner?
The spontaneous physical pull Carissa felt towards Teal was unexpected and she fought hard against it. She was still dealing with the aftermath of Lara and the last thing she needed was for her heart to be broken again.
‘How long has this place been empty?’
‘Around five years. According to the builder, upstairs isn’t as bad,’ Teal said. ‘The main thing is we have hot water and electricity’
‘What more could a woman ask for,’ Carissa said in jest.
‘That’s what I thought. Come on, let’s go upstairs.’
Carissa gestured for Teal to lead the way. The stairs leading to the first-floor landing were situated in a cramped corner of the living room and Carissa felt claustrophobic just climbing them. She made a mental list of all the adjustments that would improve the layout of the building as they moved upstairs and down the narrow hallway.
‘Choose any room you like,’ Teal said as she pushed open each door they passed until they reached the last one. The space was medium-sized with a window set in a recess that gave way to views of the countryside. A double bed was up against one wall and a wardrobe was on the opposite side. Next to the bed was another door that Carissa assumed would lead to an en-suite.
‘This room is perfect,’ Carissa said smiling. ‘Thank you.’
‘I should be thanking you, especially if you’re as good as I think you are.’
‘I hope you’ll be pleasantly surprised,’ Carissa said. Then she noticed that Teal was carrying her suitcase. ‘Oh you can just set that down anywhere.’
‘What have you got in here? A dead body? It’s heavy,’ Teal said as she placed it on the floor.
‘I brought a few design books that I thought might help me. All my suitcases ended up being too small so I had to borrow one from my mum.’
‘Have you eaten lunch?’
‘I grabbed a sandwich on the train.’
‘Okay, well I guess I’ll let you get settled in.’
There was an excited gleam in Carissa’s eyes. ‘Would you mind if I take a look around the rest of the house first? I want to get a proper feel of the place.’
‘Of course not.’
They left the room and walked downstairs. Instinctively, Carissa began compiling a mental list of the endless possibilities. ‘A lot of space is lost between those two reception rooms. What do you think of opening them out?’
‘It’s a good idea but the cottage is listed so I’ll have to check with the conservation officer. What were you thinking anyway?’
‘Maybe bringing down the wall that adjoins the staircase. That way we can have an open plan concept. We can keep the wall that flanks the kitchen so that it’s somewhat cordoned off, without being completely separate.’
‘That would make it more modern.’
‘I know but there are so many points of beauty to this kind of architecture. The bay windows for example, the recessed alcoves, the arched doorways and the painted stone walls. I would advise keeping those features so that we can have the best of both worlds. The charm of the storybook style of architecture and the comfort of modernity.’
‘I’m happy to go along with whatever you think will look best.’
‘In that case, what do you think of turning this from four-bedrooms into three? Obviously, as you said, you’ll need to check with the council but the room opposite mine is so small I think you’d have trouble even fitting a single bed in there let alone a double.’
Teal twisted her lips. She appeared to be thinking about Carissa’s suggestion. ‘You’re right.’
‘We can leave the two largest bedrooms as they are and bring down the walls between the two others to create another spacious bedroom.’
As they discussed the possibilities, Teal and Carissa walked outside through the back door and into the garden. There was a small portion of patio before trees cut off everything else from sight.
‘Have you got a gardener?’ Carissa asked.
‘Not yet but I’m sure Nicole can put me in touch with one.’
Carissa took in a big gulp of air and savoured the colours that surrounded her. Everything was brighter in the Cotswolds it seemed.
‘It’s so good to be out of London,’ Carissa said. ‘It’s funny, I’ve lived my entire life in the city, but I never thought about going anywhere else. I thought it was pretty great actually, being in the centre of everything. But now that I’m away from the chaos of London, I realise what’s wrong with it.’
‘And what’s that?’
‘There are too many people and too few trees.’
Teal held her gaze for a split second and then she laughed. It transformed her sombre face and made her sad grey eyes dance with life. ‘I suppose that’s one way of putting it.’
Carissa’s phone rang and she glanced down at the caller ID. She considered answering it, but had second thoughts and instead switched it onto silent before slipping it back into her jacket pocket. When she looked back up, Teal was watching her.
‘My mum.’ Carissa felt the need to explain. ‘She’s probably just calling to check in.’
‘I hope you didn’t reject the call on my account.’
‘Oh … no, no, it’s not because of you,’ Carissa said, getting a little flustered. ‘It’s just my mother is a lot to take sometimes. She’s a little … well … never mind. I don’t mean to bore you with my personal drama.’
‘I don’t mind.’ Teal smiled. ‘We all have our little dramas. One would argue that they make life interesting.’
‘Whoever said that obviously wasn’t going through anything at the time.’
Although Teal remained silent, she nodded her head in agreement.
Chapter Six
Teal and Carissa went for dinner in the local pub that evening and Teal felt almost normal again. The evening air was balmy so they sat outside in the spacious beer garden that overlooked green fields dotted with farm buildings and bales of hay. The warm-coloured outdoor lights attached along the edges of the low fences, gave the feel of an early Christmas. Teal hadn’t felt this relaxed in months.
‘Mmm, this is delicious,’ Carissa said tearing into a piece of garlic bread. ‘You want to try some?’
Teal shook her head and sipped her wine. She was full after eating her own meal of smoked chicken terrine and salad.
‘I wanted to be a chef,’ Carissa suddenly said out of the blue when her mouth was empty.
That was one of the many things Teal found appealing about Carissa; the way that words just spilt out of her mouth without any thought. She wasn’t one of those people that edited their choice of words through fear of what people would think. She just spoke from the heart. As such, it didn’t surprise Teal that being an interior designer wasn’t Carissa’s first choice of career. With her zest for life, Teal thought Carissa could achieve anything she set her mind to.
‘What changed?’
Carissa’s face slowly creased into a smile. ‘Might have had something to do with me not being able to cook.’
‘I don’t believe that for a second,
’ Teal said laughing.
‘It’s true. I’m so bad that when friends came over for dinner they’d bring a take away with them.’
Teal grimaced. ‘Oh no, that does sound bad.’
‘What about you? Any dreams of being something you were totally unsuited for.’
Teal pulled a face. ‘Just about everything. From an astronaut to a farmer. I’ve been through it all.’
‘And what did you settle for in the end?’
What did I settle for? Teal opened her mouth to tell Carissa about her artwork but stopped short of revealing it. To say she was an artist would be a lie. She couldn’t draw now to save her life. It wasn’t only that her confidence in herself was at an all-time low, the proof of her lack of creativity was stashed away in a folder in her room. A true artist never lost their ability to create. At least that’s what Teal kept telling herself. Instead of outing herself as a talentless ‘artist’, she said, ‘Being a freelance writer.’
‘That’s so cool. You’re lucky you get to work from anywhere you like. Beats working in an office I bet.’
Did it? Sometimes Teal wasn’t so sure. Maybe she would have been better off if she wasn’t so isolated. Whether that was self-inflicted or not, the result was the same. She had way too much time on her hands to think about her life and the direction it was going in.
The conversation soon turned to more neutral topics: London, the weather, Brexit. Whether this was because Carissa sensed Teal felt uncomfortable talking about herself, Teal didn’t know but she was grateful all the same.
Teal would have been happy to have spent longer at the pub with Carissa, but all too soon the lateness of the night could no longer be ignored as the skies above darkened and the air around them grew chilly.
Back at home and alone in her bedroom, Teal’s emotions overwhelmed her. The stark walls and unfamiliar surroundings only served to enforce the loneliness she felt. A void that had momentarily been filled while in Carissa’s company was now vacant again. She hated it; feeling weak, being in an emotional free fall. It wasn’t her nature to be like this. Yes, she knew it was the grief but there was something more. Something much worse. Something that clung to her like a dark shadow.
Guilt.
Guilt in knowing that it should have been Teal that was killed that night. After all, Teal was the one who should have accompanied Channing to the shop.
Teal couldn’t help but replay the narrative again and again. It was on loop in her mind:
She could see herself standing with Channing at the front door ready to leave. She could hear Alana’s smooth voice calling out to her from the living room. Teal’s mother was on the landline, upset and needing to talk. Alana being Alana insisted Teal talk to her mum while she went to the shop with Channing instead.
Teal could still hear the ambulance sirens wailing in the night air if she tried hard enough, and what irked her more than anything was the fact that she had actually closed the living room window to shut out the noise—not realising that Alana was out there. Most probably drawing her last breath.
But how could Teal have known? Why would she think that Alana would trip on the narrow pavement and fall in front of an oncoming car, dying instantly? Things like that happened to other people, not them. It was only when the film the three flatmates had been planning to watch started, that Teal realised how long Alana and Channing had been gone. She’d disconnected her call with her mother and rang both their numbers. When neither of her friends replied, she had gone in search for them. Only to come face-to-face with a bloody carnage that would haunt, not only her waking hours, but her dreams as well.
Teal’s throat tightened. She closed her eyes and tried to get things into perspective. Get a grip will you!
***
It was almost two in the morning when Teal checked the time on her phone. She hadn’t managed to get a wink of sleep, spending almost two hours tossing and turning in her bed. Finally, she admitted defeat, putting on the light and assessing the sad state of her artistic career. As Teal sat on her bed surrounded by the sketches she had drawn in the last few weeks, she tried to keep her mind focused on something constructive. The now. Not the past. Not Alana.
Teal looked down at her work and felt the usual surge of disappointment. To her critical eye the drawings lacked originality. Soul. She had been staring at them for a long time before she gathered them together and stuck them back in a black folder.
With her mood at an all-time low, Teal turned on her Mac and scrolled through her emails. She had sent Barb the article she had wanted a few days ago and was still waiting for her to respond.
There were two unread messages. The first was from Channing which she deleted without opening, and the second was from Barb. Teal clicked on the email to find a short, curt message.
‘Teal, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but the article needs work. Your writing is, as always, intelligent and pithy, but it’s much too cynical, especially considering the topic. I’ve attached below your article with my notes. I’ll expect the re-written piece by the end of the week. B.L’
Teal stared at Barb’s words for a moment longer before she closed the page. She was still staring at the screen when she heard a noise downstairs. Frowning, Teal rose and stuck her head out of her bedroom door. The hallway was illuminated with the living room’s light.
Teal was curious to know what Carissa was doing up at this time. Besides, she could use a distraction. Teal slipped into her dressing gown and went downstairs. As soon as she walked into the living room, she caught sight of Carissa sitting on the back doorstep, staring out at the Cotswolds’ night, seemingly oblivious to the chill that was in the air. Her dark hair rippled down the back of her pyjamas. Teal could just about make out the pattern of stitches—broomsticks and wands—that made up the print. Cute.
‘Carissa?’
‘Jesus!’ Carissa gasped as she turned around. The moment she saw Teal, her eyes widened with alarm and she rose to her feet. ‘Oh God … I’m so sorry. Did I wake you up?’
‘No,’ Teal replied. ‘I was already up. So, you’re a Harry Potter fan?’
Carissa glanced down at her pyjamas and her cheeks reddened. ‘I didn’t expect you to still be up otherwise I would have worn something … a little more professional.’
Teal couldn’t help but smile. ‘I don’t think anyone would expect you to dress professionally for bed.’
Carissa laughed nervously, as she toyed with the bottom of her pyjama top. ‘My dad introduced me to Harry Potter when I was ten. We used to read the books together. It was sort of a bonding experience for both of us.’
‘That sounds nice,’ Teal said.
Carissa’s shoulders sagged slightly. ‘Yeah, it was.’
Their eyes met for a moment and Teal was aware of how uncomfortable Carissa was. But for some reason, she couldn’t seem to just excuse herself and walk away.
‘Were you having trouble sleeping as well?’ Teal asked.
‘A little bit,’ Carissa said. ‘But only because I’m so excited. I was up ’til one-thirty thinking about all the things I could do with this place. I came down ’cause I wanted to take another look at the house, and got side-tracked by the stars. It’s so dark here, you’d never see this in London.’
‘Do you mind if I join you?’
Carissa looked a little taken aback but she smiled and shook her head. ‘Not at all.’
Teal walked over and they sat down together on the step that looked out over the expanse of trees that surrounded the area. The silver reflection from the moon glowed on the treetops in the distance.
‘I don’t know how your aunt could have let this place get in such a state,’ Carissa said, breaking the silence.
‘She fell in love with some loser, that’s all she cared about,’ Teal replied deadpan. ‘And she followed him to Brighton, which was way too far for her to travel when she became ill.’
‘Oh,’ Carissa said, raising her eyebrows. ‘Did she marry him?’
&nbs
p; ‘Yep,’ Teal said. ‘Biggest mistake of her life. I suppose she could have sold this place but I don’t think she could bring herself to give it up, despite never coming here.’
‘Were you close to her.’
‘When I was younger, not so much in recent years. Men were her weakness. The worse they treated her the more she wanted them.’ A soft sigh escaped her lips. ‘I just had to watch from the sidelines as she destroyed the little self-worth she had.’
‘Must have been tough.’
Teal wondered why she was opening up to Carissa about this. She usually avoided this topic like the plague but Carissa was a stranger who would only be in her life for a few weeks, and that gave her a sense of freedom that she’d never really had before.
‘It was,’ Teal said, amazed at how easily the words were falling from her lips. ‘She didn’t have any children of her own and I was her only family.’
Carissa nodded sympathetically. Teal could tell that Carissa had more questions but social manners dictated she didn’t probe too deeply.
‘My mother would go insane in this place,’ Carissa said thoughtfully. ‘She wouldn’t know what to do with herself.’
‘What does she do for a living?’
‘She’s an escort,’ Carissa said matter-of-factly.
Teal stifled a laugh. ‘Sorry, I really wasn’t expecting that. I thought you were going to say that she was an estate agent or a teacher.’
‘Oh no, that would be too mundane for my mum.’ Carissa brushed absently at the hair that fell over her forehead. ‘She swears she doesn’t sleep with her clients. She’s just a companion for men who need someone to accompany them on special occasions.’
Teal wondered if she heard a touch of resentment in Carissa’s tone or if that was simply her imagination. ‘Do you believe her?’
