by Fiona Starr
I kiss her hard on the mouth. “I want you.” My voice rasps and my throat feels tight.
She holds my gaze. “Take me. I’m yours.”
I don’t need to be told twice.
Chapter Seven
OLIVIA
The rehearsal dinner goes by like a crazy haze of fun and people and memories. Heather and Steve are glowing with excitement about their big day tomorrow and all of our friends from back home are here to celebrate together. Luke and I keep making eyes at each other as we move around the room, but there isn’t much time for playing.
Heather insists that I put my wedding planner hat to the side and celebrate with them. Once I make sure everything with the meal is done, I do just that and we dance and laugh as we remember the old days.
It’s a perfect night. Everyone is so happy to see everyone else and as we all catch up, there is no mention of Jesse, my wedding, or anything about my reasons for leaving town the way I did.
As the night goes on, I begin to feel the weight of all that Jesse baggage fall away. It loses its grip on me as I realize that my friends only care that I am well, and happy, and living a good life. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like maybe I can finally let go of the shame of my past. Or maybe I am realizing that there was nothing to be ashamed of in the first place.
I peel away from the dance floor make my way across the lawn to the chairs on the veranda. I drop into a seat and Heather follows me taking the seat across from me.
She’s all smiles. “Everything is perfect, Liv. Thank you.” She pours us both a glass of water from the carafe on the table.
I lean back in my chair and lift my hair off my neck, letting the breeze cool me after dancing for the past hour. “I’m so glad. I can’t believe this place. It’s perfect, and tomorrow is going to be absolutely beautiful.”
She crinkles her nose. “I can’t believe I am getting married!”
“I can. Steve seems really great. I know you’re going to be happy together.”
“God, I wish everyone could feel the way I feel right now.” She lifts her water glass for a toast. “To happily ever after.”
I clink my glass against hers. “To happily ever after,” I say, and I find a tiny beam of hope inside me for the first time in years.
I am up early the next day, working with Maurice on the seating arrangements in the main hall and with Michael and the florist on the placement of the flower arrangements and centerpieces. Guy and Tomas are going over the plan for the plated dinner service while Chef Dani goes over the final meal counts. The pastry chef has the cake and a dessert spread ready to go that looks too good to eat.
It’s clear that weddings at Little Perrin Island are in good hands with Luke’s crew. So far, every single detail I’ve worked on with Heather and then with Ginny has been executed to perfection. There are no surprises and everything is better than I anticipated.
I catch a glimpse of Luke as he hurries across the lawn behind the manor house. He’s talking on his phone to one of the wait staff managers about something and pointing back and forth between the main hall and the outbuilding that houses the kitchen.
He turns in my direction and smiles as we make eye contact. I feel my body flush from head to toe and I have to turn away so I can keep track of what Maurice is saying.
“Sunset will be at eight thirty-six tonight. The guests have been asked to arrive for cocktails between seven and seven-thirty. We’ll have all the guests seated by seven forty-five and begin the marriage ceremony at eight.”
Heather’s dream of a sunset wedding in Bermuda comes true. At twenty after the hour, she and Steve exchange the vows they wrote themselves and it’s really moving for all of us to witness such true love on display before our eyes.
I stand off to the side next to Luke, making sure everything goes to plan—which, of course, it does. My eyes well up with tears as I watch my friend pledge herself to the man she loves. Luke taps my arm and hands me a tissue.
I feel self-conscious. “Sorry. I always cry,” I whisper. “The vows are my favorite part.” I lean against him for a moment, wanting to make contact with him while I gush.
Luke places his hand at the small of my back, pressing his fingers into my skin in a way that makes the rest of my body heat up.
The sun touches the water at the moment the pastor announces that Steve may kiss his bride. He holds Heather with both arms and dips her gently, making sure the first time he kisses his wife, it’s one they will both remember.
I sigh as the crowd stands and cheers for the new bride and groom. The wedding party files out quickly for sunset photos as the guests are guided back to the reception for cocktails and appetizers before the meal.
I walk to the manor house with Luke, but as soon as we arrive, he’s pulled in one direction and I am sent in the other by small questions that need urgent attention.
When the deejay announces the arrival of the newly minted Mr. and Mrs. Greene, Luke is by my side.
He takes my hand. “I need to see you.” He leads me into the hallway between the main hall and the entrance. As soon as we turn the corner his lips are on mine and a fire explodes inside me.
He walks me backward until I am against the wall and he’s grinding up against me. He’s so hard and I want him to take me right now. “Someone will see us.” I whisper between gasps.
He devours my neck. “I don’t care. Today has been the longest day not having any time alone with you.” He moves his hand over my hips and down my thigh. “God, Olivia. You’re so beautiful. This dress was made for you.”
One of the wedding guests steps into the hallway and announces they are looking for the restroom. Another guest calls them back and they turn in the other direction before they can spot us.
Luke takes my hand again and leads me to a room at the end of the hall. He opens the door and we slip inside. It’s the library. The room smells of wood polish and leather, and sound is muffled by the thick carpet underfoot. Pale white moonlight shines through the French doors along one wall, throwing us into stark light and shadow.
“I can’t get enough of you,” Luke growls as he kisses the tops of my breasts which peek out over the bodice of my dress. He nudges one free and takes me in his mouth, sucking and biting as I run my hands through his hair.
I want to tell him that he can have all of me. That I’m his for the taking. But before I can say a word, his mouth is on mine and we’ve moved to a desk in the center of the room.
We are all hands and mouths and flesh as I hike my skirt up over my hips and he undoes his pants.
A raucous cheer sounds from the reception and I remember that I am working. I shouldn’t be doing this, but my god he is irresistible.
Luke runs his hands up under my dress. “You’re not wearing any panties.” His voice is husky and low.
I smile, loving the way he responds to me. “The things we do for fashion.”
I’ve got my dress back in place and I straighten Luke’s bow tie and try to make us look put together.
He combs his hair with his fingers and then smiles. “I am so glad you came this weekend. I thought I would never seen you again. This has been the most incredible weekend. I will remember every moment for the rest of my life.”
I watch him fix his hair and check his tie in the small mirror near the door. Was that a goodbye? Oh my god, that was a goodbye. I am a fucking idiot.
Luke walks over to the door and holds it open, waiting for me to join him. I blink and let my mind race as I replay his words. I was hoping to stay late and catch the last ferry tomorrow afternoon… carve out some time for me and Luke to talk about everything, but now I think I’ve been given the shove off. I can’t believe it. Apparently, I’m a fool—but I know a goodbye when I hear one.
Chapter Eight
LUKE
My alarm goes off and I am up like a shot. The wedding is done, and I’ve said my goodbyes to everyone except Olivia. I didn’t get to see enough of her yesterday and I am hopin
g to convince her to stay a few more days…
My house is across the great lawn, opposite the manor house. I dodge the sprinklers as I run, not wanting to waste a second of this day away from Olivia.
When I get inside I have to force myself to walk. I pass by a couple of the guests and smile as I take the stairs two at a time. When I get to Olivia’s room, the door is ajar. I push it open and find Penny and Oscar from housekeeping stripping the bed.
“Oh. Good morning. I was expecting to find the guest in this room.”
“Hi, Mr. Morgan. Sorry. No guests here.”
I hurry down to the lobby and catch Maurice loading passengers on the shuttle to the ferry. One look inside tells me that Olivia is not on board.
“Maurice, have you seen Olivia this morning?”
“Miss Blaze was on the early shuttle. Said she was hoping to change to an earlier flight home.”
My mind races. Shit. What happened? I thought everything went well between us. I thought I made my feelings clear? I look at my watch and try to recall the flight times back to the mainland. If I hurry, I might just make it. “Do you have room for one more?”
The ferry ride cruises at a snail’s pace. As soon as it docks I hop over the rope barrier and run up the ramp to the street. Thankfully, the sidewalk is lined with cabs waiting to take our guests to the airport.
I hop in the first cab. “If you can get me to the airport fast, I’ll pay you double.”
Chapter Nine
OLIVIA
My ears are ringing as Beth shouts at me through the phone. “Are you kidding me right now? What the hell are you doing at the airport, Olivia?”
After telling her what happened this weekend with Luke, I expected her to sit with me in my pity party, not start screaming.
“What? What was I supposed to do? Wait around like a puppy, hoping that he wanted me to stay? He didn’t invite me stay, Beth. He did the opposite.”
“Olivia. Oh. My. God. Do you even hear yourself? Ok, so forget about the fact that I am just now learning about your history with Jesse and being left at the altar. You are not forgiven and it will require a full report at a later time.”
“I promise. And I am sorry.” It feels so trivial now. And I have no urge to hide it.
“But back to this island guy.” Beth is seriously angry with me.
“His name is Luke.”
“Fine, Luke. This Luke is the guy who kept his feelings to himself for years because he didn’t want to upset you? This Luke is the same guy who was too polite to tell you how he felt because you were dating his best friend? And then after his best friend dumps you, and you disappear, only to show up on his private-freaking-island three years later… this Luke is the guy who professes his long-held torch for you over a weekend of hot sex and steamy romance and you think he doesn’t want you to stay? Are you deranged?”
Hearing her run through it like that makes me doubt myself. “Oh god. I don’t know what to think.”
“Olivia! Don’t you see? He’s letting you drive. I think maybe he wants you to make the choice.”
“I can’t make up his mind for him, Beth!”
“Jesus, Olivia. You know I love you. I don’t know this Luke dude at all, but it sounds like the two of you are so afraid to step on each other’s toes that you’re willing to suffer in silence forever. If somebody doesn’t say something you two are going to die alone, eating cat food, and pining for each other with your last breaths.”
“That’s a little extreme, Beth.”
“Um… Red Alert! This is an extreme situation, Olivia!” She says my name like she’s taunting me. “You need to turn around and go back. Tell him how you feel.”
Chapter Ten
LUKE
The taxi drops me at the terminal and I throw a twenty at the driver. It’s three times the fare, but it’s all I have and I don’t have time to wait for the change.
The first flight out leaves in twenty minutes. I have to find her. I have to get to Olivia before it’s too late. I race to the ticket counter and buy a round-trip ticket to Baltimore, which was the only flight that has seats available.
She’s flying to New York and then to St. Louis, but it doesn’t matter what my ticket says, I just need to get through security.
I run through the terminal, grateful that it’s so early and security isn’t too crowded. It takes a few minutes to get through but once I am on the other side, it’s a straight shot to all the gates.
When I get to the gate for the New York flight, they’ve closed the doors already. I plead with the gate agent to ask Olivia to get off the plane. But they aren’t having any of it and when they realize my ticket is for a totally different flight, they threaten to call security to have me removed.
I watch the plane push off from the jetway and its like a punch in the gut.
I blew it.
Chapter Eleven
OLIVIA
Beth’s tirade echoes through my head as I hail a cab. I can’t believe I am actually doing this, but she’s right. I won’t forgive myself if I let more time go by without making sure of Luke’s feelings.
I have no idea what I am going to do… I checked my bag and it’s already on its way home. Maybe Beth will have mercy on me and go pick it up at the airport for me.
When a cab finally arrives, I hop in and tell the driver to take me to the Little Perrin Island Ferry. This weekend was amazing. Luke was incredible. Could it be that I misread his meaning in the library? I cover my face with my hands as I brace myself to go back.
I don’t like feeling so unsure. I don’t like setting myself up for another humiliation. I don’t know what to do. I hope I am making the right decision; it’s hard to tell with all the fear clouding my head.
The driver stops at the ferry dock and I give her the fare and a tip.
I just missed the boat, and the next one doesn’t arrive for another hour.
Oh well. I grab a seat on a bench and use the time to think through everything.
Chapter Twelve
LUKE
The cab drops me at the marina just as the ferry is pulling in. I pay the driver and hop out, but I don’t run; the ferry needs time to unload and reload before it takes off again and it’s not a long walk. And honestly, I don’t feel like hurrying back.
I feel like I lost something important today and I don’t know how it happened. I replay the events of this weekend, and last night in the library over and over, looking for where I went wrong. I thought Olivia and I were on the same page.
I head to the back of the line of passengers waiting to board the ferry to Little Perrin and the other small islands that pepper the Great Sound that sits in the hook of Bermuda.
“Luke?”
I turn and find Olivia standing near the sidewalk.
“Olivia.” I am so surprised and relieved to see her. “I thought you were on the early flight? I tried to catch you but I just missed it.”
“I got off the plane. I couldn’t leave like this. I had to see you one more time.”
“I am so glad. I—”
“Are you? Because last night in the library, that felt like you were saying goodbye.”
“Goodbye? No. God, no.” I blow out my breath. “After talking to you the other day, and this weekend… I have been thinking so much about all the time I wasted by not speaking up years ago—by not pushing things. What you said about me acting like I don’t deserve what I want… you were right. I do act that way. But the thing is, I know what I want, and I know I do deserve to have those things, but…”
“But what?” She steps closer and puts her hand on my arm and her encouragement makes me push through the awkwardness.
“This is hard for me.” I want to turn away and pretend this isn’t the conversation we have to have, but that’s been my problem all along. “My dad—my biological dad—he was not a nice man. He pushed my mom around and made sure everything went his way. If you didn’t like it, tough. He pushed everything on her, on me. By force, if nec
essary.”
She looks heartbroken. “Oh, Luke, I am so sorry.”
I shake my head but I don’t look away from her. I want to face this and I want to change it, but I don’t know how. And yet, this is starting to feel like an opportunity to do things differently. “It’s all right. He died when I was in grade school. My step-dad is the one who raised me. But my point is that seeing the way my dad pushed my mom to his will… how scared she always was, how scared it made me feel as a kid… it stuck with me. I can’t do it. I can’t push you, Olivia. I won’t.”
“Luke, you’re not like your father. Not at all. And there’s a difference between forcing someone to do things and telling someone what you want.”
“I know I’m not like him. But after this weekend, talking about everything from before… I realize that I’ve let myself back off a little too much. I’ve let things slide because I won’t speak up at all. I am so afraid to push you away that I didn’t hold on tight enough.”
“I think I shoulder some of the blame with that,” she says.
“No. You don’t, Oliv—”
“Yes. I do. For me, I am so prepared to be pushed away that I just take it without question. I thought you were saying goodbye last night, so… I changed my plan and left early. I didn’t fight for an explanation.”
