by Abby Gordon
“Don’t say it,” he said wearily. “I know.”
“You couldn’t be a bigger asshole unless you planned to be,” she scolded. “Honestly, Sean, what made you do that to her? And right here? Are you trying to drive away the best thing in your life? Because from where I’m standing, you’ve done as much a number on her the past two weeks as her grandparents have. And you’ve had less time. Well done, well done,” she praised him with a sneer. “She was probably just getting to the point of living life again when they gave that marriage ultimatum, wasn’t she? So she runs away, survives magnificently on her own, and here you come to screw it all up for her again. I wonder which of all of you managed to break her heart in more pieces?”
“Charlotte, don’t. I don’t think I can take anymore.”
“Don’t even start that with me. You can’t take anymore? What about her? She didn’t plan that night two weeks, and you fucking know it. You did that,” she growled. “You need to take care of Jessica. If there can be one perfect person for someone, she’s yours and you’re hers. If you haven’t fucked it all up beyond repair.”
“I know,” he whispered.
Lifting Jessica in his arms, he didn’t think she’d ever been so fragile or out of his reach. Everything she’d been through because of him and he’d blamed her for all of it. Charlotte didn’t even know about Walt. Or his other plans. Deception? Lies? He’d be lucky if either woman or Maisie talked to him again.
“Now,” she went around them to the door and opened it. “Take her to your apartment. Grovel until she forgives you. If she does, breakfast will be at seven. Maisie will want you there. But,” Charlotte gave him a hard glare as he reached her with Jessica in his arms, “don’t come without Jessica. And her forgiveness.”
Sean nodded and crossed the hall. It wasn’t easy to enter the code into the security pad, but he managed. One of the building staff had brought up his briefcase and their two small suitcases, placing them just to the side of the entryway. Pushing the door closed, he carried Jessica down the hall to the master bedroom, set her gently on the bed, and sat down next to her.
“Jess?” he whispered, stroking her hair off her face. “Baby, I’ll be right back. I just have to lock the door and set the alarm.”
Eyes still closed, she shook her head. “Don’t touch me. All the groveling in the world won’t earn my forgiveness.”
“You weren’t asleep,” he deduced.
“I figured Maisie had seen and heard enough,” she sighed, finally opening her eyes and looking at him. “She heard everything. And probably saw most of it around the corner of her door.”
For a long moment, he just stared at her, then slowly dropped his head and shook it. “Fuck me,” Sean muttered.
“I don’t think so,” Jessica enunciated precisely.
He snorted and got to his feet, pulling her coat from her grasp. “I’m going to lock up. Then I will grovel. Then I will make you dinner.”
“So if you manage to make up any ground, you’ll lose it in the kitchen,” she murmured. “Good plan.”
As he turned for the door, Sean allowed himself a small smile. If she was giving him a hard time about his plans to cook, then he might just have a chance. In the front hall, he flipped locks and bolts, put the chain in place, and set the alarm. Hanging up Jessica’s coat, he realized he’d left his in Charlotte’s apartment.
“Great,” he sighed. “I’ll have to grovel to her. And Maisie.” He put his back to the door and closed his eyes. “Well, this is a fine mess you’ve got yourself into, Livingston. Let’s go see if you can talk your way out of it.”
Sean picked up the suitcases, smiling at the memory of Jessica’s fussing as she’d packed. Walking slowly down the hall, he had a feeling it would take more begging than he’d done in his entire life. Or, he paused at the bedroom door, more truth than he’d ever given anyone. The bed was empty and he briefly panicked until he saw the light under the bathroom door. Putting his suitcase down, he crossed the room and knocked.
“Jess?” he called softly. “I’ve got your suitcase.”
The silence scared him, then he heard her padding across the tile and the door opened enough for him to see her slender body. She’d taken her boots off and seemed very vulnerable.
“I didn’t mean to lie to you or deceive you,” she told him softly, tears in her eyes before her chin dropped. “And I never planned that night or anything that happened after.”
“I know,” he breathed, heart stopping as he realized what he’d done to her. Her shoulders slumped and her head was bowed. All the energy and life had disappeared from her.
“The whole time at the island, I kept telling myself I had to tell you the truth about my family, but I was so scared. I was just getting over what Ted had done and the trial. And every time I got the courage up to tell you, you would touch me and every rational thought disappeared. All I wanted was more of you. I told myself that I had to store up every memory, so when you got tired of me, I’d have something special to remember. One precious time that was just mine and no one could take away from me.”
“I couldn’t get tired of you,” Sean managed to say.
“No?” Her question was heavy with her doubts. “You say I planned that night…”
“No,” he protested in a strangled voice.
“How do I know you didn’t plan Walt coming to scare me off?”
He’d been half-expecting it, knew he deserved it, but it pushed him over the edge anyway. Sean pushed the bathroom door open. Jessica reeled back against the counter from the sudden force. He put the case on the floor and stalked toward her.
“I planned that night in London. Not you. I was wrong to say that to you. I didn’t plan or invite Walt to the island. I would not and will not ever share you,” he growled, hands catching her shoulders before she could try to slip past him. He gave her a little shake. “Jessica, think, dammit. I broke the nose of some punk for saying something about my ex-wife. Whom I never shared.” That had her staring at him. He nodded, seeing she understood. “What the hell do you think I would do to a man who assaulted the woman I love? Especially when she’s in my bed. You have any idea how fucking hard it was not to blow his brains out right there? The only reason I didn’t was because I didn’t want you to have to deal with that as well. But I swear to you, if I’d been a few seconds slower in getting to you, if he’d…” He closed his eyes at the thought, his fingers squeezing her shoulders. “God help me if he’d penetrated you, if he’d raped you, I’d have killed him. I damn near did. JW and Quincy stopped me.” He opened his eyes and saw that she was staring up at him with emotions he couldn’t sort. He smiled slightly. “I think Samuel punched him a few times. Something about hurting ‘our Miss Jessica’.”
“Samuel likes me,” she murmured, dropping her gaze.
“I didn’t invite Walt,” he repeated, desperate for her to believe him. “I was wrong, so wrong, to say what I did in Charlotte’s apartment. Like she said, I was an asshole.”
“I won’t argue with you on that,” Jessica replied with a small nod.
“Thanks,” he drawled. “Will you forgive me?”
“You had a right to be angry,” she answered. “I didn’t tell you about my family, and they contacted you directly. That blindsided you. I’m sorry.”
Sean dragged in a breath. “The pieces were coming together a little bit,” he admitted, risking moving one hand from her shoulder to cup her jaw. His thumb brushed over her bottom lip. “I’m not a complete idiot. Little things in my memory. I just wasn’t sure how they fit together or if they did. And I didn’t care.”
That startled her. When she met his gaze, he nodded.
“I don’t understand,” she said in confusion. “Everything you said. You were so cruel.”
He winced. “I deserved that, but I said that because I knew that what I’d done was possibly worse.”
“You didn’t know that anyone at the hotel would—”
“What I’ve been doing th
e past week,” he corrected her.
Jessica snapped her mouth shut and frowned up at him. “The past week?”
“When Charlotte called and told me what was happening to you,” he started then glanced around. “Can we move this into the bedroom? I’d rather not explain all of it in the bathroom.”
“You’re too easily distracted in the bedroom and too good at distracting me,” she countered, shaking her head.
“Baby, no room is safe,” he reminded her with a smile, pushing his thumb into her mouth. His body trapped hers against the counter. “I could distract you right here and now if I wanted to, couldn’t I?”
He watched her eyelids flutter shut and the way her pulse quickened.
“Sean,” she breathed. “Damn it. Please.”
“All right,” he decided. “Right here then. When Charlotte told me, I knew I had to protect you, take care of you. At first I was too busy to think, but once on the plane, after we left Teterboro, I realized why. And I knew I would do anything and everything to keep you with me.” His mouth brushed her temple, her cheek and the tip of her nose. “I think I knew what I was doing when I told everyone about that first night.”
“What?” she gasped, jerking her head back to see his face.
“I didn’t plan it consciously,” he defended himself. “But some part of me probably knew what would happen. That it was the only way I could get you.”
Her shock was palpable. “Sean, how could you?”
“Oh, that’s not the worst of it,” he warned her.
Jessica swallowed.
“Not the worst of it?” she breathed. “You just admitted that you subconsciously planned to ruin my life, to embarrass and humiliate me in front of the world. What the bloody hell could be worse?”
“I wanted you to get pregnant.”
“Shut up,” she snapped. Her mind spun and she turned around, not wanting to look at him. Everything at the island made sense now. “Pregnant,” she echoed, half in disbelief.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “From what you said—”
“Why?” She swallowed, staring down at the marble. Stop being a coward. Deal with it. Face it now. “Why did you want me pregnant?”
“Call it my caveman side,” he finally replied. “I wanted you in my life, and I was desperate enough to do anything to keep you in my life.”
“It never occurred to you to talk to me about it?”
Sean sighed. “My life is complicated.”
She laughed shortly and shook her head. God save her sanity with this man. “So is mine.”
“I didn’t know that at the time,” he told her, hands slowly going up and down her arms.
For a long moment, they were both quiet. Finally, she lifted her head and met his gaze in the mirror.
“Did you mean it?”
“Which part?”
“About why you would kill a man who assaulted me.”
The relief and light in his eyes, the slow smile that curved his lips, was nearly all she needed. His hands slid down her arms and wrapped around her as he moved closer, holding her back to his chest. His cheek glided down her head so his mouth was at her ear.
“Jess, I love you,” he whispered. “I wanted you to get to know my world a bit before telling you.”
“While doing everything you could to trap me.” She felt a bit of satisfaction at his flinch, but had to relent. “Ben said he was worried about you being slow about it,” she told him.
“Slow about what?”
“Admitting you loved me. He figured you’d be a bit slow about it, but that once you figured things out there’d be no stopping you.” Her lips quirked. “He didn’t realize you’d already figured it out and were steamrolling me.”
“He was right,” Sean agreed. “Once I realized I loved you, I wasn’t going to be stopped in getting you and keeping you.”
She spun around to confront him and realized that was the wrong move. Before, his semi-hard penis had been nestled in her ass crack through the dress. Now, hardening with every breath he took, his erection rubbed her pussy.
“Talk, Sean, you have to talk,” she told him, knowing she had to speak quickly because she knew that, within minutes, they’d be tearing each other’s clothes off. “You don’t get to decide a person’s life. If you love someone…”
“If?” he protested.
“You can’t just decide everything in that person’s life. Not if they’re an adult,” she corrected herself. “You have to include that person in planning things, in deciding things.”
“I’ll work on that,” he promised, his hands stroking her back. “Like what kind of things?”
Jessica groaned, letting her head fall forward to land on his chest. Seriously, the man could wind her up faster than anything. And he knew it. Enjoyed it. And so did she, if she was honest with herself. He could make her smile, laugh, cry, and simply feel more than anyone else.
“Like day-to-day stuff and long-term stuff.”
“Like where you live, what’s for dinner, where you go on vacation?” he suggested, sounding pleased with himself.
“Exactly,” she replied.
“Well, how about we live in New York City? Dinner will be anything but frozen bricks, and we go to the island for vacation?”
Sighing, she lifted her head. “Sean, it’s more than that.”
“I know, but it’s a starting point, right?”
The hope faded and she just nodded, lowering her gaze so he couldn’t see her face. She should have known better. He knew her better and caught her chin.
“Don’t do that,” he warned. “I might not be the best at relationships, but I do know that you have to talk. I have it on very good authority.”
“Since when have you talked to me about anything?” she retorted. His smirk just then was irritating.
“I’m talking now,” he reminded her.
“All right then talk.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest in protection.
“Tell me what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, because right now I’ve got the feeling that whatever progress I may have made the past few minutes is slipping away through my fingers.”
“No, no,” she managed to stay calm, refusing to let herself break down. Seriously, she’d had more crying jags the past two weeks than she had since her parents died. “Everything’s fine. Your plans sound doable. Live in New York City, no frozen bricks and the island. Sounds lovely.”
“Fine. Doable. Lovely,” he repeated slowly, cradling her face with his hands. “That’s pretty good bullshit. Do you believe any of it?”
Keeping her eyes closed, Jessica swallowed. After a moment, Sean sighed and his lips brushed hers. That’s when she realized she was crying.
“Dammit,” he muttered. “I didn’t want to do this here. I tried to at least get you in the bedroom. In the bathroom, for Christ’s sake. Well, when people ask, remember to tell them that I wanted to be in the bedroom.”
Jessica sighed. The man simply wasn’t making sense anymore.
“What are you talking about now, Sean?”
His body shifted against hers and then lowered. Startled, her eyes flew open and she realized he was on one knee. Her mouth fell open as he gently took both her hands in his. Her heart thudded and she couldn’t breathe.
“Jessica, I love you. You are the most perfect woman for me in every way possible. I need you in my life like I need air to breathe. Will you marry me and let me strive every day for the rest of our lives to be the perfect man for you? To take care of you in every way possible? To hold you as you sleep? To hold you when you laugh or cry? Will you marry me?”
She stared at him, hardly daring to believe the words she was hearing. When he repeated the question, she squeezed his fingers and tugged him back to his feet. He surged up, his strong hands cradling her face. His thumbs wiped her damp cheeks.
“Jessica, baby, don’t cry. I can handle just about anything but your tears.”
“I love you, Sean,” she whispered
, pressing her mouth to his.
“Oh, thank God,” he groaned, hauling her roughly to him and ravishing her mouth.
A bubble of laughter at his reaction was muffled by his kiss. Jessica closed her eyes, relishing the feel of his hard body against her.
“That better have been a ‘yes’,” he growled, finally lifting his head slightly.
“It’s a ‘yes’,” she laughed, throwing her arms around his neck. She put her mouth near his ear. “It’s a ‘yes’, if your cock is inside my pussy before I count to ten.”
“Ten?” he mocked, hands already at his belt. “I’m faster than that.”
“One, two, three,” she said steadily.
His fingers flew to the button, to his zipper.
“Four, five.”
His pants and boxers slid down his thighs, jangling on the floor around his feet.
“You’re not going to help me?”
She shook her head, smiling at him. “Six, seven.”
Sean grinned, shoved her dress up around her waist, and tore her panties off.
“Thank God, Charlotte sent you these thigh high things,” he growled.
“Eight, nine, te…”
His hands caught her hips, spun her around and bent her over the counter. Lifting her slightly, he guided his cock to her opening and drove into her fully. She gasped as his torso pressed her to the marble. His right hand tangled in her hair. Immediately, her pussy clenched around his length.
“Now,” he growled in her ear. “Let me show you what happens to slaves who try to top from the bottom.”
“Promise?” she pleaded, wide blue eyes on his face. “Promise always, Master?”
“Oh, baby,” Sean breathed in her ear. His left hand moved around her hip and teased her clit. She moaned. “I promise to love you, to fuck you senseless, to make love to you until you’re exhausted, and to make sure you always know who your master is.”
