Not That Kind of Girl

by Susan Donovan

  She’d followed all his instructions, however. She’d taken a thoroughly muzzled Lilith for a long walk to relax her, which didn’t really work because they encountered other humans and dogs. Roxie even had to endure a few choice comments from the Sweeping Lady, including this tidbit: “The police came around the other day, asking about your pit bull. I told them she wasn’t normal.”

  Swwsssh. Swwwssh.

  Once they were home, Roxie removed Lilith’s muzzle and let her relax for about a half hour, as instructed. Then she fed the dog some cooked chicken and brown rice, just the way Eli told her to. Next Roxie sat quietly with her on the living room floor and stroked her fur and rubbed her ears, which was her all-time favorite thing.

  “You both need to be comfortable and relaxed when I get there,” Eli had told her. “Roxanne, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for you to come to the door without any anxiety. Please breathe deeply before you open the door. Greet me in a soft and friendly voice. Don’t shout or move quickly.”

  “It sounds simple enough,” she’d said.

  “Simple isn’t always easy.”

  “So they say.”

  “But here’s the single most important thing to remember—whatever happens, do not interfere. I can handle whatever Lilith might do. Do not reach for her or yell at her. In fact, do not look at her or talk to her at all. Remain still and calm and let me handle anything that comes up.”

  “Of course.”

  “I will not hurt Lilith. I might have to restrain her as a way to communicate with her, but nothing I do will hurt her. Please do not interfere. Do you hear what I’m saying?”

  Oh, she thought, so he thinks I’m the slow-learning type of sociopath. “I understand,” she’d assured him.

  “Even if she gets aggressive.”

  “She won’t do that.”

  “Be sure to keep her muzzle off.”

  “What? Are you completely whacked? She’ll eat your face!”

  Eli had paused for a moment, somehow keeping himself from pointing out her contradictory logic. “You cannot be afraid she’ll hurt me, Roxie. This is very important. You cannot come to the door worried that the worst will happen. If you do, she will pick up on your apprehension, and she’ll make your worst fears a reality.”

  His deep-river voice made all the psychobabble sound like it made sense. Someday, Roxie would tell Eli that if the dog whisperer gig didn’t work out for him he could talk people off ledges for a living. Or negotiate for the release of hostages. Or be the host of Cowboy Masterpiece Theater.

  “But above all else,” Eli had said, “you’ve got to let go of your own anger for just a moment. Do whatever you need to do so that when I arrive at your house, you’re not thinking about your old boyfriend, or the vicious dog hearing, or anything anxiety-provoking.”

  “No problem,” she’d said, once again wondering why the hell he’d turned her down for lunch six months before. God, that had pissed her off.

  But that entire exchange with Eli had been a couple of hours earlier, and she’d already let it all go, just as Eli had suggested. And now, as she sat cross-legged on the living room rug with her doggie all sweet and sleepy in her lap, she really believed she could do this.

  She would be calm. She would be relaxed. She would radiate stability.

  Roxie glanced at Lilith. She loved those little prickly hairs that formed her eyebrows. She loved the white stripe that ended at her little dark brown nose. She loved her white back paws and soft white belly. She loved the muffled noises she made in her dreams, where she ran free through open fields with her dog friends. Maybe someday that would be more than a dream for her. Maybe, with Eli’s help, Lilith would one day be a happy dog.

  She suddenly sat up straighter, tears in her eyes. How could anyone have been so cruel to this little animal? How could some man have tied her up the way he had, and hit her with his fists, and just left her to starve the way he had? That asshole was the one who should have gone to jail, not Lilith! What was wrong with people, anyway?

  Breathe. Breathe. Let it go.

  She checked her watch. Eli would be there in a couple of minutes. “Okay, Lily Girl,” she whispered, still stroking her ears. “Let’s wake up, all right? You’re going to get to meet a new friend. You’ll like him, I promise.”

  Roxie stood, taking a deep breath. Lilith got up, too, stretching and yawning as she looked up at her owner, excited about whatever wonderful thing they were going to do next. Lilith wagged her tail.

  That’s when the phone rang. Roxie picked it up. Then there was a knock at the door. Lilith barked.

  “Hello?”

  “You fucking stupid bitch! Do you really think you can put anything past me? This is Raymond fucking Sandberg you’re fucking with! Don’t you get it?”

  Roxie froze.

  “You were a lousy lay, did I ever tell you that? I’d have gotten off better with a blow-up doll.”

  She felt the rage begin as a tight ball in her chest, spreading to her head, her arms, her feet …

  Lilith was at the door snarling like a guard dog at a prison break. She was already frothing.

  Roxie exploded. “Go to hell, you prick! I hate you!” Then she threw the phone across the room.

  There was another knock.

  Lilith went insane. On reflex, Roxie reached for her collar. Her hand shook with rage. She tried her best to drag her dog away from the door.

  Oh, shit. I wasn’t supposed to do that, was I?

  Roxanne screamed over the barking. “Lilith, no!”

  Oh, shit. I wasn’t supposed to do that, either.

  Roxanne tried to salvage the moment. She took another breath, then opened the door just a crack. Fuck Raymond! Just fuck him, she thought, as she slipped off the door chain.

  “Hello,” Eli said.

  “Hi,” Roxanne said, wiping the hair from her face, hoping she sounded stable, hoping to God that in a few seconds there wouldn’t be another massacre. Her mind flashed with the image of Raymond lying on his back clutching his throat, spewing obscenities and blood in equal measure.

  Roxie let go of Lilith’s collar. Oh, God, she hoped Eli hadn’t noticed how she was shaking, or how unraveled she was, or the mistake she’d made by holding on to Lilith’s collar in the first place. Or shouting at her. “Come on in,” she yelled over the barking.

  Eli stepped inside.

  Roxanne had a very bad feeling about this.

  * * *

  Bea rapped her knuckles lightly on the door to Room E-451 of the Neurology floor. She waited a moment, then heard an unfamiliar voice say, “Come on in.”

  Bea pushed at the door, peeking around cautiously. She didn’t know what she expected to see when she entered that hospital room. But it wasn’t this.

  A tall, lovely woman stood up from her seat next to Gloria’s hospital bed. The woman’s eyes were a strange brownish-green color, but instead of looking muddy or bland, they were luminous. She had a nice, wide smile. Her hair was streaked blond and gray and it looked soft as it settled down in choppy layers at her jawline. She was dressed comfortably, but there was a sense of fun to what she wore. It was probably the funky earrings and the silk scarf wrapped around her neck.

  “Thank God you’re here,” Gloria said from under the blankets. “Would you please take Rachel down to the cafeteria for coffee? I need my rest.”

  Then it hit Bea—Rachel was Gloria’s daughter, the lawyer. Gloria had spoken of her often. A lot more often than her other three kids, now that Bea thought about it.

  “Rachel, this is Beatrice Latimer, my apprentice. Bea, this is my eldest, Rachel Needleman, attorney-at-law.”

  Whatever was in that IV drip at Gloria’s bedside had to be making her delusional. An apprentice? An apprentice to what? The only thing Bea knew about being an apprentice was what she’d seen on Donald Trump’s reality show, and that shit wasn’t for her.

  But Bea managed to put a smile on her face as she stepped forward, holding out her hand to R
achel. The hand that found hers was soft but firm, and it was infused with a deep and warm strength that nearly knocked the wind out of Bea. She tasted a mix of vanilla, lemon, and cinnamon-sugar on her tongue.

  What the fuck was that?

  Bea tried to speak. Nothing came out. She cleared her throat. “Uh, hey. Hi,” was what she came up with. Bea was mortified. The only other time she’d been at a loss for words was when she’d interviewed Michael Phelps in Beijing’s Olympic Village. And she’d always considered that the peak experience of her life.

  Until right this second.

  “Oh, sure! Hello, Bea. Mother told me you might stop by. That’s very kind of you.”

  Bea nodded, swallowing hard.

  “Excuse me, but did you think I was joking?” Gloria asked, staring at Bea. “I need my rest. Take her out of here before she makes me so crazy that they transfer me to the psych ward.”

  Bea snorted. “I’m glad to see you’re in good spirits, Gloria,” she said, arriving at the side of the bed across from Rachel. Bea stole a quick glance and saw Gloria’s daughter smiling at her.

  Wow.

  Gloria reached out and patted Bea’s hand. “I am glad you came, Beatrice.”

  “Well, of course I came! I came as soon as I got your message.” Bea looked at Rachel again. “What exactly happened? Have the doctors found anything yet?”

  “Yes,” Rachel said, her voice straining to be strong. “It seems Mother had a ministroke, a ‘TIA,’ they called it.”

  Bea thought the floor had been pulled out from under her. She blinked. The image of Rachel’s face became blurry in Bea’s tears. “Is she going to be okay?”

  “Well, she should be all right,” Rachel said, trying to maintain a pleasant smile. “They’re a little concerned because of her age and the weakness she experienced in her legs, so they’re going to do some more tests.”

  Bea nodded, trying to take it all in without morphing into a snot-soaked mess. She felt weakness spread in her own legs. This could not happen to Gloria. In the short time Bea had known her, she’d become incredibly important to her. She was a dear woman. Bea sometimes saw her as the mother she’d always wished she’d had.

  “How long will she be here?” Bea asked Rachel.

  “We’re not sure.”

  “What is the next step?”

  “Hello?” Gloria called from the bed below. “Would you mind going down to the cafeteria before you start discussing my burial arrangements? I would like to take a nap.”

  Bea saw Rachel laugh and shake her head, then watched as she bent down and kissed her mother on the cheek. “We’ll be back to check on you in just a bit, bubeleh.”

  Bea squeezed Gloria’s hand. She squeezed back. Hard. Her eyes looked into Bea’s with an intensity that didn’t seem right coming from a woman who’d just had a stroke.

  “Yes?” Bea asked, leaning in close to hear the crucial information she was sure Gloria was about to convey.

  “Have a nice time,” was all she said. Then she smiled a little, closed her eyes, and folded her hands over her chest.

  Bea walked out with Rachel at her side. Gloria’s daughter was as tall as she was. She guessed that she was about her own age, as well. She looked like she could have been an athlete, too. She wondered what sport—lacrosse? Tennis? Diving? Suddenly, Bea felt there wouldn’t be enough time in the world to find out everything she wanted to know about Rachel Needleman.

  The first bit of information came quickly. Bea glanced down and discovered there was no wedding ring.

  It was a start. A start of what, she couldn’t say.

  * * *

  He let it unfold.

  The dog rushed him, but Eli set down his duffel bag and kept walking. With his eyes on Roxie he took a few steps into the foyer. Lilith barked and nipped the air near his hip and arm, but there was no physical contact. Eli didn’t acknowledge the animal or her level of aggression.

  He gently touched Roxie’s arm. He saw the fear in her eyes, and he couldn’t say he was surprised. Being calm was a lot to ask of her. He knew this was one assignment that couldn’t be rushed—it would take however long it took.

  “How are you today?” he asked Roxie, paying no mind to the mixed-breed Tasmanian devil now delivering a clear warning. He heard a chest-deep growl and then the sound of his shirtsleeve being shredded as she bit the fabric.

  “Shh!” Eli hissed matter-of-factly, giving Lilith the human equivalent of a growl. At the same time, he pressed two fingers into the side of her neck, his version of a bite. With that, Eli had leveled the balance of power: her one growl and bite to his one growl and bite. They were even.

  Lilith didn’t much like that arrangement. She immediately jumped up and clamped her teeth onto Eli’s forearm, ripping the fabric further and puncturing his flesh.

  Roxie screamed. Not exactly the calm reaction Eli had asked for. He squatted, flipped Lilith on her side, and pressed her body into the floor, all while Roxie repeatedly gasped in shock.

  “Please remain calm,” he told Roxie, his gaze soft and focused toward the kitchen at the end of the hallway. “I am not hurting her, Roxanne. I am not angry with her. I am putting her in a down position because it’s the best way to communicate the fact that biting me will not be tolerated, that I am the leader here.”

  “But—” Roxie groaned. “God, she looks so upset! And you’re bleeding all over the place!”

  Eli briefly noted that she was right about that last bit. It would have to wait. “Just breathe, Roxanne,” Eli said. “I’m breathing steady and deep, see? Watch me. Try to keep in rhythm with my breathing, okay?”

  “Huh? What the hell good is that gonna do?”

  From his squat, Eli slowly tipped his head and raised an eyebrow at her. Words were not needed. She got the message just fine.

  “Sure. Right. Here I go. I’m breathing now.” Roxanne raised her nose toward the ceiling and inhaled loudly.

  “Excellent,” Eli said, hiding a smile. “Just keep breathing. Observe what is happening. Stay detached.”

  “Yeah, sure, but it looks like you’re strangling her.”

  “I’m not,” he said. “This is standard. I held her collar, twisted it slightly, and pressed her head toward me and down to the floor. Then I pressed my fingers into her hip, flipped her, and pulled her so that her back is up against my legs. Now I’m keeping my fingers pressed into her neck, which is the closest thing I can do to mimic a bite to her throat.”

  “How long are you going to do that?”

  “Until she relaxes.”

  Roxie laughed. “Seriously? But she’s stiff as a board!”

  “Yes, and she’ll stay that way until she accepts my dominance. The instant she does, she’ll be allowed up.”

  Just then, Lilith began to squirm and growl. Her compact and muscular body was strong, and she was nowhere ready to give up her position as top dog. “Shh!” Eli said again, pressing his two fingers deeper into her neck while adding the pressure of his other fingers to her hip.

  “Maybe you should have a seat,” Eli suggested. He watched as Roxie slid down the wall and sat cross-legged about six feet from Eli and her dog. “Remember not to look at her,” he said.

  Roxie nodded, closed her eyes, and let her head fall against the wall. It gave Eli a chance to study her. Such a lovely contrast between her pale skin and dark hair. A perfectly straight nose. Such a beautifully formed mouth, pouty, pink. He watched a single tear travel down the swell of her right cheekbone, and wondered why she was crying. He had a feeling it was more than Lilith’s display of one-upmanship.

  About ten minutes into the hold, Eli felt Lilith’s body go from a rigid board of resistance to a soft pile of surrender. And thank God—ten minutes in a squat had Eli’s knees throbbing.

  “Such a good girl,” he said, stroking Lilith’s body as he released the pressure from his fingers. As he did so he noticed that blood had coursed down his forearm and pooled between the fingers of his right hand.

 
Lilith jumped to all fours. She blinked. She yawned. She looked at Roxie.

  “You can pet her now, too. Tell her how good she is,” Eli said.

  Roxie called her dog and Lilith went right to her, burrowing her head into her owner’s side. Roxie stroked Lilith’s head, rubbed her ears, and praised her dog for her bravery, all while raising doubtful eyes toward Eli.

  “She’ll be fine,” he said, offering Roxie his non-bloody hand and pulling her up to a stand. “Now I need you to tell me you’re pleased to see me, and welcome me into your space. Then lead me toward the kitchen.”

  “But …” Roxie quickly glanced down at Lilith and her dog looked back at her, the sudden anxiety in the animal’s eyes a mirror reflection of her owner’s. Roxie caught her mistake and let go with a whine of regret.

  “Go on as if nothing happened,” Eli coaxed her.

  “All right, well, come in, then.” Roxie announced this and swept her arm up a little too wide and a little too fast. “Welcome to my space!” she shouted enthusiastically.

  This startled Lilith. She growled again, but Eli kept walking. He headed into Roxanne’s kitchen, and immediately saw two steel dog bowls by the back door. He would get to them in a moment.

  He started with the cabinets over the stove, and slowly, mechanically, he began to open and close every single cupboard door in the place. Lilith circled, slowly at first, then gaining momentum as her growling intensified. She wasn’t ready to give in, apparently. Of course not. Lilith was Roxie Bloom’s dog.

  “Is there anything I should be doing?” Roxanne asked meekly from the kitchen doorway.

  “Yes.” Eli kept his tone friendly as he crossed to the opposite bank of cupboards. “You can relax, please. Speak with a confident but calm voice.” He took out a single drinking glass.

  “Okay,” she said, obviously trying hard to sound calm. “But you’re still bleeding and I don’t know what the hell you are doing going through all my cabinets. If you wanted something to drink I could have gotten it for you.”

  Eli chuckled a bit, moving to the refrigerator and taking out what looked like a pitcher of iced tea. “But then Lilith wouldn’t learn anything, Roxie. This way, she’ll get to see me help myself to your food supply.”