Not That Kind of Girl

by Susan Donovan

  And that’s when Eli knew.

  Raymond Sandberg didn’t even acknowledge Eli. He certainly didn’t recognize him. Then he limped toward the hearing officer’s bench. Eli tried to listen to their conversation, but the words seemed to ebb and flow along with the pulse now pounding in his ears.

  Eli heard enough to recognize the deep, soothing tone of Sandberg’s voice. Then he noticed how Sandberg tapped the tip of his shoe onto the floor while talking. When the sergeant said something he found amusing, Sandberg lowered his head and bit the inside of his mouth. And there! Eli stared at Sandberg’s mostly bald head, and saw that the blond hair that remained carried a bit of curl in it.

  Eli stood. He was numb.

  “Are you going to get Lilith?” Roxie asked.

  He didn’t look at her. “Yes. I’ll be right back. Don’t let them start without me.”

  Roxie chuckled.

  Very, very slowly, Eli raised his eyes to his mother. What he saw on her face answered all his questions. He continued walking to the double doors. Their talk would have to wait. Everything would have to wait. He had a phone call to make.

  * * *

  “Hurry! Faster!” Ginger screeched.

  Lucio kept his voice calm when he responded to his overexcited wife. “You have spent our entire married life telling me how good it is that I’m slowing down and staying put, and you want me to go faster?”

  “Yes!”

  “Josie is not the only woman who is pregnant,” Lucio reminded her. “You also are pregnant, guapa, and I do not wish to crash the car into a light pole trying to get one pregnant woman to the bedside of another pregnant woman.”

  “But—”

  “You heard Rick. I put him on the speakerphone for this precise reason—I wanted you to know what is going on so that you would not worry.”

  “But, oh my God. If—”

  “Josie had the breaking of the water. They are on their way to the hospital. Everything is under control. This is not an emergency.”

  “And Roxie!” she wailed, not listening to a thing he said. “Oh, my God! Roxie’s going to have to deal with the dog hearing and Raymond Sandberg all by herself!”

  “She is not by herself. Eli is there. Bea is there.”

  “I’m texting Bea to tell her what’s going on.”

  Lucio took the longest, most lung-busting breath he could manage. “Put the phone down, yes? We can text her from the hospital, when we have information to pass on.”

  Ginger said nothing.

  “The most important thing is for you to calm yourself,” Lucio continued, taking the corner cautiously. “I do not want you to have the breaking water, too.”

  More nothing.

  “Right, pelliroja?”

  Lucio glanced to his wife. Her eyes were huge and her mouth was slack.

  “What is wrong?” he asked, terror seizing him.

  Genevieve nodded down toward her shoes. In a soft, scared voice she said, “My water just broke.”

  “¡Hostia! ¡No me jodas!” Lucio hit the gas so hard he nearly gave them both a case of whiplash.

  * * *

  “I don’t care what he’s doing. This is an emergency.” Eli waited, cell phone to his ear, shoving his way through the glass entrance doors and out into the parking lot.

  “Milton Horvath, here,” the deep voice said.

  “This is Eli Gallagher.”

  Silence.

  “I need you to answer one question for me—immediately.”

  “All right.” The man’s voice sounded strained. “But I think it might be better if we met for a drink somewhere. I’m free now. I can meet you wherever you are.”

  “No!” Eli caught himself, dragging a hand through his hair, spinning on the heels of his boots. This was no time to lose his balance, not when Roxie would be stepping into the ring in just minutes, not when he’d be handling Lilith’s leash in seconds. He steadied himself. “I need you to be completely honest with me.”

  “Look, Eli—”

  “Do you know Raymond Sandberg?”

  “Uh …”

  “What happened with my mother and Sandberg? Tell me what you know.” Eli fell against his truck with a thud.

  “Look, I can’t jump to any conclusions for you, Eli. I wish I could, but—”

  “What did you mean by ‘out of hand’? You told me things got a little out of hand with my mother. Was Raymond Sandberg ever involved? Did he have sex with her, too?”

  “Why are you asking me this? Why now?”

  Eli gasped, the weight of the truth pressing down on his lungs with such force he could hardly breathe. He pushed up from the truck and did another half spin on his heels. He felt lost. Simply lost. He hissed into the phone. “Because I’m standing outside the animal control hearing room where the very same Raymond Sandberg is trying to get my girlfriend’s dog euthanized. I was staring at a man who looks like me, talks like me, stands like me. And my mother is in there—she came for moral support—and one glance at this Sandberg dude and she’s about ready to keel over.”

  “Oh, shit.”

  “I got ten seconds, Horvath. Then I have to walk back in there and deal with what is sizing up to be a huge fucking mess. Tell me everything. Now.”

  Milton sighed. He paused for a beat. “Oh, Eli. I don’t know how to put this.”

  “Now.”

  “Sandberg took a crack at her one night when I was done doing my thing.”

  Eli’s brain froze. “What did you just say?”

  “Look, I know it’s awful. But she didn’t even realize it at the time. She was pretty wasted.”

  At that moment the glass doors opened and his mother stuck her head outside, looking for him, tears streaming down her face. Eli slammed the cell phone closed and shoved it into his pocket.

  Eli reached her in seconds. He put an arm around her shoulders and guided her back inside to a bench in the hallway outside the hearing room. “You sit here. Don’t go back in there. Can you do that for me?”

  She nodded, hanging her head. “I’m … Oh, Jesus, Eli. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I didn’t even include him because … I didn’t think we ever …” Her head snapped up. “But I do remember him, son! Of course I do! I had a huge crush on him. But I swear …” She stared off into nothing and shook all over as she tried to catch her breath. “I don’t understand how this could be!”

  “I’ve got to get back in there,” Eli said. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk after.” He put his hand on her trembling shoulder. “I love you, Mom. I always will. Nothing will ever change that.”

  Just then, Sondra appeared in the hallway. “What in God’s name—”

  “Sit here with her. Don’t let her back in there.”

  Eli ran out to the parking lot again. He motioned for Lilith to come out. She jumped from the seat and sat obediently on the asphalt. He slipped the leash around her neck and began to walk. She stayed at his side. He went through the doors, past his sobbing mother and bewildered sister, and through the double doors of the hearing room.

  At just that moment, Sergeant Liu called the vicious dog hearing to order. Eli headed toward the defendant box. Roxie’s head swiveled, her eyes boring into him as he walked. When Eli finally looked at her he saw that fear and panic had deformed her pretty face.

  She’d figured it out, too.

  * * *

  No. No. No. This can’t be. I won’t believe it. It can’t be. This can’t be real. Oh, God. No. Please, no.

  “Miss Bloom, would you enter the defendant box with your animal, please?” The sergeant barely glanced up from the file opened in front of her. She riffled through pages. “Have a seat and I’ll ask you to come forward in just a bit. Bailiff?”

  Everything was a blur. The bailiff guided her toward the box where Eli stood, leash draped over his hand. She couldn’t look at him because he looked so much like his father. She couldn’t look at Lilith because it would make the dog anxious. She couldn’t look at
Sondra or Carole because they’d already run from the room as if fleeing from Satan himself. And she sure as hell couldn’t look at Bea, or she’d lose whatever tentative grip she had on her sanity.

  Roxanne sat. She let her arm go limp at her side so that she transferred no tension to the dog. She kept her eyes forward, staring at the Seal of the City of San Francisco, which hung on the paneling behind the judge’s head.

  The hearing started. Raymond had walked toward the bench and begun speaking. He handed some papers over. Roxanne didn’t hear anything. She could hardly see because her eyes were swimming with tears. Her only hope—Lilith’s only hope—was that a person in shock didn’t transmit negative energy. How could they? She didn’t even feel alive inside, and there was no energy without life, right?

  What had just happened? Had Eli lied to her? Or was he in as much shock as she was? And if Raymond Sandberg was Eli Gallagher’s father, whether he lied or not didn’t even matter, because she could never—never—find a way to deal with that.

  When this hearing was over, Roxanne was going to …

  “Miss Bloom?”

  Roxie blinked, suddenly realizing someone had said her name.

  “Yes?”

  “Did you hear my question?”

  “No, Your Honor, I’m sorry. Could you repeat it?”

  And there it was—Raymond’s smarmy, self-righteous laughter, floating through the hearing room. Right on cue.

  “That’s enough, Mr. Sandberg,” the judge said. “I would think of all people here today you would be capable of behaving with decorum.”

  “Yes, of course,” he said, clearing his throat and sitting down.

  “Miss Bloom, I asked if you had any witnesses?”

  “No, Your Honor.”

  “Are you prepared to respond to Mr. Sandberg’s claim that he”—she picked up a piece of paper and read it aloud—“ ‘suffered grave physical and mental injury by the unprovoked attack of a vicious dog’?”

  Roxie couldn’t help herself. She chuckled. She felt so hollowed out and dead inside that she couldn’t think of much else to do.

  “Sure, I would like to make a statement about that,” she said. “Do I need to stand?”

  “No, Miss Bloom, not until I ask you to come forward with your animal. You can speak from your seat.”

  She nodded. “As you can see from the evidence I submitted to the court, the attack was not unprovoked—quite the opposite.”

  The judge smiled kindly, clasping her fingers together on the raised table in front of her. “It’s not a court of law, Miss Bloom. I am not a judge, so you can call me ‘Sergeant’ or ‘Officer.’ ”

  “I’m sorry Your—Sergeant,” Roxie said.

  “And as far as your evidence goes, I have read the documents you filed with animal control but I’d like to hear it in your own words.” The sergeant smiled at her patiently.

  “Sure,” Roxie said, nodding. She took a deep breath. Miraculously, she felt some life returning to her. Her face felt hot. She felt her hands begin to tremble. The only problem was, she didn’t want to feel alive. She didn’t want to feel anything.

  “Uh, Mr. Sandberg and I were in a relationship for about a year. It ended when I overheard him talking about me to a group of his friends, and what he said about me was … it was very hurtful.”

  The sergeant tipped her head, looking puzzled. “This took place in public?”

  “Yes. At the Havana Club downtown.”

  “All right. Who were these friends of his?”

  “Other lawyers. I covered courts for the Herald at the time, so I had working relationships with many of them.” Roxie didn’t intend to, but she looked at Raymond. Yes, he was smirking. Yes, his eyes were burning with smug hatred. But suddenly, he looked pitiful to her. What had Eli called him just last night? “A sad, angry, lost guy, running around chasing phantoms …”

  “You know, Sergeant, it really doesn’t matter to me anymore.” Roxie shrugged, realizing it was true. “What happened with Mr. Sandberg isn’t important. The only thing that is pertinent here is that our relationship ended badly, Mr. Sandberg was very angry with me, and he came to my home uninvited the night of the incident. I went to answer the door. It struck my head when Mr. Sandberg busted it off its hinges. I fell back. Mr. Sandberg called me names and threatened to kill me. My dog attacked him before he could get his hands on me.”

  “Pardon me, Sergeant Liu,” Raymond said from his seat. “I would be remiss if I did not inform you that I am pursuing a tort claim against this woman for defamation of character.”

  “Really?” The officer frowned. “But you were the one who defamed her.”

  “Of course,” Raymond said. “No! I mean, no. I did no such thing! I am referring to my future civil claim in which I shall seek damages from Ms. Bloom.”

  “For what?”

  “For publishing on her commercial Web site a series of malicious, false, and defamatory statements about me that have harmed my reputation.”

  “She mentioned you by name on this Web site?” The sergeant looked back and forth between Raymond and Roxie, fascinated.

  Raymond pushed himself to a stand, looking somewhat unsteady. “No, but that is not—”

  “Then how can you claim she injured your reputation?”

  Raymond smiled and shook his head, as if amused by a child’s mistake. “How about we leave that point to a real judge?” he said, his voice dripping with disdain. “Someone who understands the many nuances of the law, such as the fact that vilification can occur even without the use of the injured party’s name.”

  “Interesting,” Sergeant Liu said, nodding. “Of course, since I’m not a real judge, you’ll have to explain to me how she managed to defame you without naming you. This is all way over my head.”

  Raymond looked up to the ceiling and rolled his eyes, then suddenly winced in pain. He cupped the back of his neck with his good hand. “Look, Officer, Roxanne Bloom provided a detailed description of my person, my position in the community, and various personality characteristics that left little doubt as to whom she was referring. Can we get back to—”

  “How did you describe him exactly?” The sergeant was looking at Roxanne. “I’m real curious.”

  “Well,” Roxie said. “I called him ‘San Francisco’s most successful criminal defense attorney and all-around champion pig-faced, misogynistic asshole.’ ”

  Bea’s snort of laughter could be heard reverberating through the hearing room. The pizza boy slapped his knee and howled with appreciative laughter.

  “What’s the name of this Web site?” The sergeant had her pen poised at the ready.

  Roxie sighed. “It’s www.i-vomit-on-all-men.com. It’s hyphenated.”

  The sergeant’s mouth fell open. “Lord have mercy,” she said, taking notes as she shook her head slowly. “You two must have made a lovely couple.”

  Raymond sighed loudly. “I would really appreciate it if we could simply—”

  “You know what I’d appreciate?” the officer asked, looking at Raymond as if he were a bug she was about to squash. “I’d appreciate it if you kept your piehole closed until I ask you a direct question. You think you can handle that, Mr. Sandberg, Esquire?”

  He blinked at her, offended. “Certainly.”

  “Super.” She turned to Roxie. “Now, I’ve read the police reports about the state of your front door. He must have been pretty ticked off to bust it down like that.”

  “He appeared to be, yes.”

  “What type of physical condition was he in at the time? I ask because the man I see right now sure doesn’t look like someone who could bust down a door.”

  “He seemed to be healthy and strong that day.” Roxie refused to look at him.

  “Out of curiosity, did Mr. Sandberg ever physically abuse you?”

  “No,” she said.

  “Verbally?”

  “Objection, Your Honor!” Raymond shouted.

  “Objection to what, Mr. Sandberg?” Th
e sergeant was clearly furious. Her skin was splotchy across her cheeks and all the way down into the neck of her patrol uniform. “You just objected to a question I asked a defendant in my own hearing room, which would be bad enough, but objections aren’t even permitted here. This is not a court of law. There are no juries here. This is my hearing room. I make the decisions here. Got it?”

  Raymond’s mouth fell open and no sound came out.

  “Miss Bloom.” She turned her attention to Roxanne once more. “Did he verbally abuse you on a regular basis?”

  She shrugged. “He often insulted and threatened me. But it’s all in the past. Raymond Sandberg was a huge mistake, but I’m not living that mistake anymore.”

  “Uh-huh.” Sergeant Liu pulled her lips tight for a moment. She looked at Raymond. “Mr. Sandberg, I see no reference to a cervical collar or broken bone in your medical records. Are those injuries related to the dog attack?”

  Raymond paused thoughtfully, nodding. “I would have to say yes, due to the fact that my underlying physical strength was compromised in the vicious dog attack, leaving me susceptible to—”

  “He’s lying.”

  Everyone’s heads whipped around.

  “And who might you be?” Sergeant Liu asked, craning her neck to the back of the hearing room.

  A petite blond woman in her early twenties took a step into the center aisle. “My name is Dustan D’Urberville, ma’am. I was Mr. Sandberg’s personal assistant at the time he received the injuries in question.”

  Roxanne felt her eyes grow big. Raymond’s phantom woman was real!

  Chapter 20

  Sergeant Liu groaned. She wiggled her fingers impatiently to direct the girl toward the bench. “Come on up here and tell us what you know about the complainant’s injuries. Let’s get this over with.”

  She walked slowly and deliberately, giving Raymond enough time to lodge a protest. “This is preposterous! She has no place at this hearing! I must object in the strongest possible—”

  “Would you put a sock in it, Sandberg?” Sergeant Liu’s eyes looked like they were about to pop from their sockets she was so angry.

  Bea snorted again.

  “All right, let’s have it, miss. Were you present at the time he received these injuries?”