by T. K. Chapin
“I’m doing good... These are my grandchildren.” Roy wrapped his arms around them. “Jess and Henry.” The pastor shook Jess’s and Henry’s hands.
“It’s good to have you all here this morning. Be sure to stay for coffee and donuts after service in the Fellowship Hall downstairs.” Johnny said as he patted Roy’s shoulder before they walked in.
Henry tugged on Roy’s shirt corner. “They’ve missed you?”
“I missed a couple Sundays,” Roy replied, opening one of the sanctuary’s doors.
“Really?” Jess asked. “Why were you pushing me to come then, when you don’t even come to your own church?”
Roy had been held up in bed with chest pains for a couple weeks prior to Jess and Henry’s visit. He didn’t go to the doctor for fear of what it could be, and he had kept it secret from his daughter Tiffany and his other kids, for fear they’d worry, especially Tiffany. After already losing her mother only a short time ago, he didn’t want to worry her. He kept his silence as he led Henry and Jess up the aisle to his pew. He sat four pews from the front, on the right-hand side. It had been where he and Lucille had sat their entire forty-two years of marriage.
“Good morning, brother Hinley,” Peter said, extending a hand. “Are these your grandkids?”
Roy and Peter went all the way back to childhood. Peter’s father owned the property next to Roy’s, and when they were boys, they’d sneak out at night and go play on the shared property on the hill. The moonlight and the stars were their companion as they would play through the late hours of the evening. “These are them.”
“Hi,” Henry said, quietly sitting in his seat.
Jess was quiet and didn’t say anything.
“Jess…” Roy said. “Shake his hand. This is Peter. Do you remember him?”
“Nope. Hi, Peter.”
Peter leaned over the pew, and closer to Roy. “You feeling better?”
Roy had called Peter and discussed what had happened with the chest pains. He was the one person he knew he could trust, but now he seemed to be about to blow the secret.
“I’m good.” Roy’s eyes widened trying to hint to Peter to be silent on the matter.
The pastor walked past the pew just then and headed up to the pulpit. “Good morning, everyone,” he said into the microphone up front.
The crowd of people began to settle down in their seats, and Peter turned to the front in the pew in front of Roy and the kids.
Chapter 19 ~ Levi
Unable to stop thinking about Jess while at the Mud Hole that morning, Levi wondered what he did to upset her so badly. Was it being at her Grandpa’s? I knew that was a bad idea.
Suddenly a plastic bottle of Dr. Pepper hit him in the side of the head. “Ouch, what the heck?” he shouted over at Billy.
“Dude, I said your name, like, three times…” Billy replied. “Where are you man? Cause you aren’t here.”
“I’m here…” Levi said, defending himself while he reeled in some of his line.
Chris chimed in. “Our boy is just upset about that prissy city girl not showing.”
“Shut up, man.” Levi shook his head. “You don’t get it.”
“Yeah,” Chris said, standing up on the rock that he had been sitting on off the bank. “I get it… It took me a while to snag Elly. These women… it ain’t like fishing.”
“No?” Levi asked with a shallow laugh. “Clint sure can reel them in.”
“Clint’s a joke, dude,” Billy said. “That guy can swoon any woman by flashing his wallet at them.”
“Jess isn’t like that,” Levi replied. “She’s different.”
“Why’s she hanging out with him today instead of you, then?” Chris asked.
Levi knew Chris had a valid point, but he just couldn’t admit to himself she was that into Clint. Levi knew he didn’t have much of a shot with her, but Clint surely couldn’t be a good fit for her.
“I don’t even get what you see in her…” Billy said.
“I feel drawn to her…” Levi said.
“Uh huh, like Dawn?” Billy replied.
Dawn was Levi’s high school sweetheart that he’d dated for over two years. He swore up and down, at the time, they were going to get married, have kids and live the American dream. Two months after graduation, she broke it off to date a guy she met at college.
“Why you gotta bring up my past, man?” Levi set his pole down against a branch off the bank. Then he fetched a bottle of water from the cooler next to him.
Chris laughed. “Why do you even have interest in her? Hinley’s are notorious for their Christian ties… she probably believes in God.”
“Maybe she does. Believing life goes on after death isn’t horrible,” Levi replied.
“Listen to yourself,” Chris said. “You know that religion and faith are bogus.”
“I don’t know that for sure.” Levi took a drink of his water as he watched his pole for a bite. “I’d love to have faith, but I just can’t see it to be real.”
Chris got up from his spot and reeled his line in. Plopping a seat next Levi on the rock he was sitting down on, Chris placed his arm around Levi’s shoulder. “This right here…” Chris said pointing out to the river. “This is real. Fishing, you, me, and Billy… You can see all this. You can’t see some magical God.”
Levi recalled the sunset he was admiring the evening before, and what Roy had said about God designing it. “What about sunsets? And the coolness of nature?”
“That’s just mother nature… You know that.” Chris shook his head. “I don’t know what your deal is lately, but you ought to not let this girl get up in your head so much.”
“She isn’t… Roy’s the one always dropping hints.” Levi took a swig of his water. “I just entertain the thought of God sometimes.”
Chris stood up and looked down at Levi. “Maybe if Roy stopped giving so much money to God he could pay you better.”
“The pay is fine,” Levi replied. “… I mean, honestly, it’d be nice to believe.”
“You best shut your mouth, Levi! You’re smarter than this God business.”
“What? Are you threatening me?” Levi stood up and looked Chris in the eyes. “You think you’re smart because you don’t believe in God? That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard.”
Chris pushed Levi back, causing him to fall into the muddy hill behind him. Billy jumped over from his rock and pushed Chris back. “Chill out, dude!” Billy said.
Levi found himself defending a God he didn’t believe in. “You hate it when people think we are stupid.”
“It’s different,” Chris said. “Christians are naïve to scientific facts.”
“Whatever,” Levi said reeling in his line. “I’m leaving.”
Levi felt anger he hadn’t known to exist inside of him; he was on fire, mostly directed at his longtime friend, Chris. On the drive back to his parents’ house, Levi kept thinking about God and Christianity. How could people hate Christianity so much? What’d the religion ever do to them? After Levi had calmed down, he came to a realization. A religion, a faith, a God, that has withstood so many years of people trying to wipe it out of existence must have something going for it. He wanted to learn more, so he went to the one man he knew could help. Roy.
After dropping off his truck back at his parents’ farm, Levi trekked down to Roy’s place. After checking on the calf for the second time that day, he sat on the picnic table, awaiting Roy’s arrival back from church.
When Roy arrived home, the sound of the suburban crossing over the bridge set Levi’s heart rumbling in fear. He wasn’t sure what he was afraid of, but the fear grew as he saw Roy looking at him curiously as he approached down the sidewalk.
“Levi,” Roy said stopping at the picnic table.
“Can I talk to you?”
“Sure, have a seat.” Roy turned to Henry and Jess and motioned to go ahead into the farmhouse without him. Sitting down at the table, Roy waited for the porch door to shut completely.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m…” Levi’s voice trembled as he searched for the words. He stopped and sighed heavily. “I felt angry today when my friends were bashing God and I don’t know why.”
Roy smiled. “Well, what do you think the reason is?”
“I don’t know… I just don’t think it’s right of people to talk poorly about anyone who isn’t like them.”
“Is that why you came here to talk to me?”
“Well, no. I just want to understand your God more…”
“What do you want to know?”
“Why do people hate Christianity? It baffles me.”
Roy looked to the farmhouse for a moment and then back at Levi. “Let me get us a glass of lemonade, and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. Including why people don’t like Christianity.” Roy left and returned a few minutes later. Taking a drink, Roy wiped his mouth. “They hate Christianity, or if you want to get more specific, Jesus, because darkness hates light. He was killed on a cross, and he was hated then, and he’s hated now. People don’t want to bow a knee to anybody… they just want to rule their own lives.”
Levi looked confused, “I hear many of the same people say, though, they think Jesus was a good teacher and had taught good morals.”
“Which doesn’t make much sense since He declared Himself to be the Son of God… That was the core of His teaching. He was the salvation for the entire world.”
“How could one person save everybody?”
“Not everyone entirely, but everybody who comes to a saving knowledge of Him. He was perfect and never sinned in His life. He was the ultimate sacrifice.”
“But wait, I’m a pretty darn good person…”
“You are a wonderful boy, but next to perfection? It’s black and white when it comes to God’s expectations. If you fail or sin once, you are like a filthy rag. God’s son Jesus had to be sent.”
“And this belief angers people?”
“Yes…” Roy took a sip of his lemonade. “People don’t think they need saving.”
Levi felt something in that moment. He felt that he knew everything Roy was saying was true. Everything about Jesus and God was pure and about love and joy, yet his friends, who didn’t believe, were the ones showing the hatred, not God or Roy.
“I don’t get why God could take my sister though…”
“God didn’t take her.”
“Who did then?” Levi asked.
Roy came to Levi’s side of the bench and put an arm around his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “Nobody took her, Levi. It was just her time to go.”
“But why? Why does God let these bad things happen?”
“Do you know why people die?”
“No…”
“It’s because sin entered the world, back in the Garden of Eden. The punishment for sin is death. Every person must experience a physical death. And the reason sin showed up was because we have always had a free will. God created us, Levi, and loves us as His creation. Pure and perfect love has to have a free will to choose.”
“So she died because she had to? That doesn’t make sense. It was an accident.”
“True, it was an accident. But, God can always use accidents, or whatever events life throws our way, for good in our lives.”
“I need some time to process this all.”
“I understand,” Roy replied rubbing his shoulder. “God is a perfect gentleman; He’ll never force you or bug you to do anything.”
Chapter 20 ~ Jess
Jess wasn’t surprised in the least bit that Levi was at her grandpa’s when they arrived back from church. She didn’t care this time; she had other things on her mind, like Clint, and getting ready to go see him. Picking up the home phone, she dialed his phone number from the napkin she had written on and put into her purse at the restaurant.
“Hello?” Clint answered.
“Hey, it’s me,” Jess replied.
“Who?”
“Uhhh… really?”
“I’m just kidding, Jess. How are you? Are you sure you can get here?”
Jess flipped the napkin over that had Clint’s number on it. He had made a map on how to get to his house from her grandpa’s farm. “I think I got it…”
“Okay, you on your way?”
“Shortly, yes.”
“See you in a bit,” Clint said.
Jess hurried off to the bathroom to finish getting ready. As she was putting on her eye shadow, Henry walked in.
“I need to go to the bathroom…”
“Can’t you go outside? I’m busy.”
“I don’t think Grandpa would like it if I pooped on his lawn.”
“You’re so gross!” Jess said. “I’m not letting you stink up the bathroom. Just hold it.”
“C’mon Jess! I need to go really bad...” Henry said bouncing up and down.
Jess ignored him and started applying her mascara, while she began to think about Clint again. He was perfect. He was the type of guy who was going places in life. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Henry sitting on the toilet. “Gross!” she shouted as she jumped back. Rushing out of the bathroom, she slammed the door shut. “Ugh!”
Waiting a minute, she began pounding on the door. “I have to go! Hurry up!”
“So there’s a line?” Levi asked, walking up to her. Looking over at him, she noticed a stain on his jeans; it looked like the milk replacer for the calf.
“Sure is… How’s the calf?” she asked.
“Rose is good.”
“You named her?”
“Yes.” Levi turned to leave. “Let me know when the line dies down, will you?”
Jess ignored his comment while she waited by the bathroom door. Levi lingered for a moment, appearing to wait for a response. When he got none, he said, “It’s no wonder why your mother dropped you off in the middle of nowhere for the summer… I’d get rid of you too if I could.”
Levi’s words cut deeply into Jess. It tore through every layer of defense and stung. He was being cruel and for no reason. “Why are you being mean to me?” she asked.
Levi extended his arms out with a surprised look on his face. “Really? You blew me off, Jess. And for what? Some tool?”
“I had church; I didn’t go on a date.”
“Oh come on Jess, we both know why you didn’t want to go fishing.”
“Get over yourself, Levi. I went to church earlier, and yes, now I have plans with Clint, but that is honestly none of your business!”
Jess sighed heavily in agitation with Levi. Why are men so full of themselves?
“You blew me off, just admit it…”
Henry came out of the bathroom, and looked at the both of them awkwardly with raised eyebrows. “Could cut the tension with a spoon,” he said, walking between Jess and Levi.
“It’s a knife, not a spoon,” Jess said sharply. Levi burst out in laughter, and Jess couldn’t hold back a smile that was hinting on the corner of her lips.
“Don’t hold back your laughter. It was funny,” Levi said.
“It wasn’t that funny. Don’t be immature.” Jess went into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She was relieved that her brother was kind enough to spray the bathroom down with air freshener. Continuing with her makeup, she heard a knock from the door. “Yes?”
“I really need to use the restroom…” Levi said on the other side of the door.
“Just a second, I’m finishing up.” Jess continued to finish up her makeup and then came out of the bathroom to find Levi had already left. Grabbing her purse from the counter in the kitchen, she saw Levi sitting at the picnic table through the kitchen windows. He was out conversing with her grandpa again. It reminded her of the longwinded talks that she and her dad would have. Those talks mostly consisted of her dad explaining the meaning of life and how something she did or did not do would have an impact on the rest of her life. He would go on for hours, but he was always wise with what he said.
Suddenl
y the phone rang, breaking her concentration. Checking the caller ID, she saw it was Clint.
“I’ve got to get into town for a meeting with R & H.”
“What’s that? And on a Sunday?”
“That’s the meat packaging company I work with… My boss works seven days a week. I’m sorry, but I’ll be in touch...”
Jess hung up the phone. Leaning her head against the doorway in the kitchen, she felt the disappointment drip down the back of her neck in the form of sweat. Nobody had closed up the windows and doors that morning, which resulted in a very warm farmhouse. “I’ve got to get out of here.”
Walking out to the front yard, she walked past her grandpa and Levi without a word, heading directly for the barn.
“Bathroom open now?” Levi asked.
“Sure thing,” Jess replied without stopping.
“Have fun with Clint…” Levi said.
Jess didn’t respond and wasn’t going to explain the situation to Levi and her grandpa. She felt embarrassed to take so much time getting ready and blowing Levi off just to end up getting blown off herself.
As she walked, she thought about Clint. I wonder if he’s upset as I am about not getting to hang out. Jess always started out thinking every guy she met was amazing, but the more she got to know them, they’d eventually all let her down; she just hoped Clint was different. She was tired of the same old issues. She was eighteen and ready for the real world, and a real man. She didn’t know what Clint’s deal was, but she hoped this wouldn’t become a habit.
Coming up to the stall that had Betsy and Rose in it, Jess draped her arms over the stall. Rose was lying right up next to her mother. She wasn’t sure if animals had feelings or not, but she saw a mother and a daughter in perfect unison with one another. While the calf was unable to feed from the mom, she was still lying close to her mother. Jess had longed for a relationship with her mom that was close her entire life, but never was able to find it. She had always gravitated towards her dad, and when she needed him most he took off with a broken heart. It wasn’t fair.
