by T. K. Chapin
Walking up to the farmhouse, they came up to the picnic table and Brandon turned to the two of them. “Hi, Elly. And where’s Clint?”
“Clint dumped me and then ditched me out on the back roads.”
Brandon stood up and shook his head. “Clint dumped you?”
“Yep, no idea why, so don’t ask…”
“Okay, I won’t, but I’m going to kill him.” Brandon headed for Roy’s work truck. “Screw driver in there?”
“Dad! Please don’t!” Jess shouted, chasing after him.
“That boy needs to learn a lesson. You don’t treat a lady like that!”
“You aren’t okay with abandonment?” Jess asked purposely to jog his memory of his hiatus.
Brandon stopped and turned to Jess. “That was different… But I suppose I’ll keep myself out of jail for you and Henry…”
“You’ve never fought a day in your life,” Roy said with a grin from the picnic table.
“True…” Brandon replied coming back over. Looking over at Jess, he continued, “Your mom is going to be here in a bit. But she is still a couple hours out. Were you going to stay to meet her, Elly?”
“Sure.”
“I thought she’d be here sooner than that; you don’t have to stay,” Jess said.
“No, it’s fine. I don’t have to be down to the convenience store for a while and my Dad has his annoying sister at our house, so I’d rather not go there!”
“Great, we are going to have a barbeque here in a bit once she gets here,” Brandon said. “There’s cold soda and lemonade inside--help yourselves.” He turned and sat back down to the picnic table and started talking with Roy.
Jess and Elly walked into the farmhouse to go get drinks. “I didn’t get a chance to talk to him much before, but your dad seems really cool.”
Jess nodded. She used to idolize her dad until she found out the real reason for the split between her parents. She still loved him, but it had changed into this strange thing where she saw him differently. Almost as if she saw her dad as another human, with flaws and problems, just like everyone else, and not the super hero that would fly her around in his arms while she wore a cape. “He’s pretty cool.”
“Are you looking forward to getting back to Seattle?” Elly asked, as Jess opened the fridge.
“This place has kind of grown on me… but yeah, it’ll be nice to get back to Seattle. I was hoping to transfer and stay, but with the whole Clint thing, I don’t see a point.”
“What am I?” Elly asked smiling. “If you like it here, you should try to stay. It’d be cool, we could be seniors together.”
“That would be cool. I am still getting to know you but can already tell you’re more real than half my friends combined in Seattle. I just don’t know if I could risk seeing Clint around Chattaroy, I mean I was way off in my thinking the entire time if he just viewed it as a summer fling… And then there is the risk of seeing Levi… I won’t lie, seeing Levi today brought back some memories with him. I don’t really know what that day we had meant to him, but obviously it meant more to me.” Jess’s eyes welled up with tears. “I’m just so confused about him!”
Elly wrapped her arm around Jess’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay…” Giving her a hug, she continued. “He’s just one fish in the sea. You don’t need him if he’s going to treat you like that.”
“Wait, who do you think I meant by saying I was confused? I was thinking about Levi…”
“Oh dear…” Elly laughed. “Well, whomever, you don’t need them if they don’t want to make you a priority.”
“Thanks.” Looking into the fridge, Jess asked, “You good with cola?” Elly nodded. Grabbing two bottles of cola, she handed one to Elly. Popping the lid off on the edge of the counter, Jess looked out the kitchen windows towards the barn and thought about Levi again. I wonder why he was walking, I wonder what he’s doing.
Going back outside, they saw Henry staring up at the bug zapper as it hung on the edge of the roof on the patio. “What are you doing, dork?” Jess asked.
“Waiting… for something to get zapped. It’s cool-looking when a bug runs into it.”
“You miss your cable TV, don’t you?”
Henry shrugged. “I just like watching bugs get zapped.”
“There’s no way we are related, I swear.” Jess walked over to the picnic table with Elly.
Chapter 40 ~ Roy
“Time seems to stand still in moments of great impact. Whether it be love, sadness or… tragedy. In mere seconds our world can change forever. When Tiffany was born, that was a moment that everything I knew changed forever. Fatherhood has a way of doing that to you. I also remember walking her down the aisle…” Roy paused for a moment and pulled out his handkerchief to dab his eyes while he looked over at Brandon. “I thought giving her away to another man would be the last big change I would go through with her…” Roy stopped; he wasn’t able to continue as he lost control of his emotions.
Roy stepped down from the podium and up to the closed casket. Kissing his fingers gently with his trembling lips, he touched them against the coffin. With trembling words, he uttered, “I’ll love you forever my Winnie.”
Disoriented from the events of the day, Roy took his seat in the front pew of the church with the rest of his family. He sat right between Brandon and Jess. Bowing his head, he wished for the day to be over before it had barely even begun. Tears streaming down his face as he stared at the floor, Brandon put his arm around Roy’s shoulders.
Tiffany had only been minutes away from Roy’s farm when a deer ran out into the road. Veering out of the way to avoid the deer, Tiffany swerved in front of a truck that had a drunk driver behind the wheel. He was in a hurry going somewhere down Elk Chattaroy Road. Both the driver of the truck and Tiffany were pronounced dead at the scene.
Looking up at Brandon with tear filled eyes, Roy tried to speak. “I’ve lost everything I hold dear to me… my wife and now my eldest daughter.”
Brandon rubbed his shoulder. “You still have other children, and your grandchildren, and others who love you dearly. We will get through this, together.” Brandon hugged him closely as Roy’s heart ached over the loss of his daughter.
Roy’s two other children had their reasons for not attending the funeral. Scotty was too wrapped up with a business deal overseas, while Monica lived paycheck-to-paycheck and had no way of being able to take time off to come to the funeral. Roy felt the city life ruined his kids, and them not making it to the funeral re-enforced that belief he held.
As the pastor, Johnny Ray, made his way back up to the front of the church, Roy could hear cries and sniffles across the crowd. Many of the people who attended the funeral knew Tiffany growing up. Spending most her life out on the farm, Tiffany had made friendships with many of the people around Chattaroy. Even Mr. Cosen, Tiffany’s high school art instructor, made it out to pay his respects.
“Thank you for your words and your strength during this difficult time Roy. It should serve as an inspiration to us all. And while we on earth here lose a wife, a mother, and a daughter, let us not forget that heaven is where Tiffany is now, and will be forever our sister in Christ. Before we close, I’d like to leave the microphone open for any last words that anyone might want to share.”
Chapter 41 ~ Jess
Jess’s hands were trembling, and the piece of notebook paper between them was stained in tears, both from last night as she wrote it, and today as she re-read it. She didn’t know how this could happen to her. She hadn’t even graduated from high school, and she had already lost one of her parents.
After finding out the truth about her dad, Jess had spent hours talking to her mom on the phone over the past few months. They’d share each other’s days, talk about the weather in Seattle and out Chattaroy. There wasn’t much that wasn’t communicated between the two of them, all the way up until her death. Jess had in fact spoken to her mother just before the accident when she had stopped at the convenience store for a bottle of water. She wa
s grateful that she had been able to grow closer to her mother over those phone calls, but she felt she had wasted so many years in her youth hating her mom.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Jess sniffled and rose up. Walking up to the front of the church, she stood behind the podium. Adjusting the microphone so she could speak into it, she peered across the sea of people all in black clothing.
“The last time I saw my mother in person, one of the things I told her was that I hated her.” Jess paused for a moment. “I didn’t even say bye or anything… I just said I hated her.” Tears were a constant as she tried to find the courage to continue. I can’t back out now… otherwise the only thing I said at my mom’s funeral was that I hated her. “She was such a strong and brave woman… she didn’t let others get looked down on for their imperfections.” Jess looked at her father.
“I remember this one time, we were going to the grocery store, and when we pulled into the parking lot, she stopped and gave the homeless guy who was begging a twenty-dollar bill. When I asked her why she would do that when she knew he was notorious for being a drunk, she simply smiled and responded ‘I know, but today could be the day he changes.’ ” Stopping again, Jess panned across the people sitting. She saw Levi come into the sanctuary and linger by the back. Her heart felt suddenly heavier and fluttered at his presence.
“She was just a really good person… and I’m going to miss my mom so much!” Jess’s tears were flowing, and her heart felt like it was breaking over and over again. Making eye contact with Levi at the back of the church, she remembered Betsy and Rose. “This summer… I spent some time on my grandpa’s farm.” Jess looked over at Roy, before continuing. “I didn’t want to go there, I didn’t want to be there, but I am so glad my mom made me go.” Jess dabbed her eyes with the tissue in her hands. “She said it was for my own good, and I didn’t believe her… but.” She paused to take a breath, and then looked up at Levi. “But I was wrong, she was right, she usually was.” Looking at her casket, Jess covered her mouth with a hand and said, “I love you, Mom! I always will!” Then she ran from the podium back to her seat. She begun to hyperventilate, as she couldn’t calm herself down, and her dad and Henry wrapped their arms around her.
On the way back to the farmhouse from the gravesite in the Spokane Valley, the suburban was quiet except for the occasional sniffle. Henry was in the backseat with Jess and kept looking over at her. Every time he did, Jess felt the pain of her mother’s absence grow. Jess wasn’t sure what was worse, her mother being gone, or the intense pain she felt for everyone around her. It was as if she could feel everyone’s loss all at one time, and it hurt her deeply.
“Jess…” Henry said.
“Yeah…” Jess replied softly.
Henry pulled his backpack up from the floor of the car, and unzipped one of the zippers. Jess looked over to see him pull out a canister. “Can you teach me how to play Pogs?” Henry asked popping the lid out and sliding the stack of Pogs out from the container.
“How inappropriate…” Jess replied.
“I know you liked Pogs… and I thought it’d help take your mind off everything.”
Jess smiled and looked her brother in his eyes. “Thank you… and yes, I’ll show you how to play.” Using a book from the floor of the vehicle, they made a platform and Jess taught her brother how to play Pogs on the way back to the farm.
That car ride back was a bit more bearable for Jess. It turned out that Henry was right, and it was just the thing to help ease her racing mind that was pained by the death of her mother.
Getting back to the farmhouse, everyone remained rather quiet as they began to bring in the groceries that they had picked up on the way home in preparation for the wake that afternoon.
Walking back out to the front yard where the suburban was parked, Jess saw Levi walking up the hill from the path that led by the root cellar and under the willow tree. She wondered what he was doing there as she walked over to him. The warm August breeze pushed her hair in the wind as she walked over to him.
“Hey…” He said, with his hands in his pockets.
“What are you doing here, Levi?” Jess asked softly.
Levi looked over her shoulder at the farmhouse, and then back to her. “I just wanted to see you, and give you my condolences.”
“Thanks… but I haven’t seen nor heard from you since you took off a couple months ago. That was messed up to never to reach out or anything after that day we had...”
“What do you mean?”
Brandon came outside with the cordless phone. “Jess, phone.”
Jess walked up to the patio and took the phone from her dad. It was Elly.
“I got a hold of my cousin down at the Sheriff’s office. He said Clint was the drunk driver in the truck. They haven’t been able to reach his family back in Missouri yet, that’s why they haven’t released his name to anyone.”
Mortified, Jess remained silent for a moment, but found the calmness to speak so she could find out the truth. “I thought his mother lived in Spokane?”
“She had died that morning Jess… and the police got a hold of him out on his ranch only an hour before the accident. He had to have downed an entire bottle of liquor after hearing she passed and then got behind the wheel.”
Jess hung up the phone without saying another word and handed the phone back to her dad. She felt her world crumble into a million different pieces as tears filled her eyes. She walked past Levi, and just kept walking.
She walked down the hill, under the willow tree and over the bridge. Levi followed beside her as she walked, without speaking a word. I could have stopped this… if only I would have not been stubborn and drove the truck back… Jess stopped when they arrived at Levi’s driveway.
“Want me to go?” Levi asked.
Jess nodded without saying anything. When he tried to hug her, she pushed him off, and continued her walk down Elk Chattaroy Road. Coming to the scene of the accident, she dropped to her knees at the wooden cross that her grandfather had made; it had balloons and flowers attached to it, along with a picture of her mom.
“Why’d you have to go? Why couldn’t I save you?” Jess asked as the tears broke through and started trailing down her cheeks. The wind blew strands of her hair into her eyes. Wiping her cheeks of the tears, she kept crying as the wind continued to gust.
Turning, she peered across the road and into the field of wheat that was on the other side. Another gust of wind blew, and an approaching car pulled over to the side of the road.
Out stepped an elderly woman with a bouquet of flowers in hand. She walked up to Jess and past her. Walking over to the cross that marked where her mother died, the woman brushed off the dead flowers and replaced them with the fresh bouquet that she had brought.
“Thank you,” Jess said softly.
The women smiled back at her through the wind. “Were you of relation of the woman that died?”
“Yes… I was… am her daughter, Jessica.” Jess wiped her eyes as another gust blew. The women’s eyes widened.
“You’re Jess?” the woman asked eagerly grabbing her hand.
Jess was taken aback by her touch and replied, “yes, why?”
“I have something for you.” The woman ran back over to her car and popped open her trunk. Pulling out a bundle of letters, she handed them to Jess. “I’ll be honest… I read every one of them. After the first one, I couldn’t help but read the rest. That boy loves you dearly.”
Jess looked down at the letters and glanced at each one. They were all from Levi, and addressed to her over the time he had been gone. “He wrote me…”
“He did, and he sure has a way with words my dear.”
“Thank you. But how did you get these?”
“I live right up the road. I was on the scene of the accident before the paramedics. I was the one who called it in.”
Forgetting about the letters, Jess asked, “You were with my mom? Was she still alive when you saw her?”
�
�She was alive when I got here. Not for much longer unfortunately, but I did hold her in my arms while she passed.”
Jess moved closer to the stranger. “Did she say anything? What was going on?”
“She was hurting but then suddenly she begun to smile and then she was gone in an instant. She didn’t say anything my dear.”
“She was smiling? So you think maybe she was happy when she went?”
“I have a firm belief that when people transition into the next life, and when the pain becomes too much, they already have moved onto glory. The body just takes a bit longer to stop.”
Jess’s eyes began to water and tears streamed down her cheeks. She had worried that her mother’s final moments were alone, but they weren’t, they were with this woman. Jess hugged the stranger as another gust of wind blew.
“I best go,” the stranger said.
“What’s your name?” Jess asked.
“Sally,” she replied.
“Thank you Sally,” Jess smiled through her tears. “Thank you so much.” She pressed the letters up to her chest and began walking back down the road. Taking the first one off the top, she opened the letter and began reading it.
Jess,
This will be my final letter to you. I’ve written you several times with no response, so I suppose you have no interest in me. I’ve spilled my heart out in the form of ink and paper for you, and I cannot go on anymore. I wish you the best in this life, even if it’s not with me. I meant it Jess when I said you make me want to be a better person, not because we’re together, but because I simply have known you.
Love,
Levi
Jess was confused as she glanced up through the wind towards Levi’s house. Make me want to be a better person, not because we’re together, but because I simply have known you… That sounds like what Clint said to me. Opening more letters, she discovered the sweet serenades of Clint were all actually stolen from Levi’s letters. Walking along the side of Elk Chattaroy Road, with trembling hands as she held the tear-stained letters, she realized Levi was always the one for her. She had fallen in love, not with Clint, but Levi. It was his words, his emotions, and his way of seeing the world. Jess began picking up her speed, until she was in an all-on sprint down the road.
