by Nell Dixon
He grinned. "I wouldn't dare!"
Back in the house he hung the dog lead up on the kitchen wall. "So do you want to order in or eat out?"
"I don't mind. Whatever you prefer." She wasn't sure about staying in with Nate. It sounded too intimate. On the other hand, she wasn't dressed up enough to frequent the kind of restaurant he probably went to.
"I know a good pizza place," he suggested.
Relieved, she smiled. "That sounds great!"
He grinned back at her as he zipped his jacket. "And after dinner, I'll teach you how to play pool."
She discovered he wasn't kidding. The place for pizza turned out to be next to a pool hall where Nate held a membership. After a delicious deep pan special with extra cheese, Jenni found herself in the kind of place she had been barred from for most of her life. The room was dimly lit with lots of tables, all illuminated by their own yellow overhead lamps. Groups of people were at each table, they talked together in low voices as they made shots and chalked the cues.
"Come on Jen, I'll show you how to play."
Nate demonstrated the hold and quickly potted a few shots. He showed her how to line up the ball and explained the rules.
She felt awkward as she attempted to copy how he had held the cue, and bent over the table to try a shot. He corrected her hold with a smile. His lean, deft fingers slid her hands around to place them in the right position.
Her hands shook as he removed his fingers. She bent again to take the shot. The ball ricocheted sideways and rolled to a halt in the middle of the table.
"That's not bad for a first attempt." Nate leaned in to take his turn. The ball slid effortlessly across the baize and connected to make the pot. "Try again, like I showed you."
She swallowed nervously as she took her time to position her hands on the cue before trying to imitate what she had seen him do. Oh dear heaven, he was coming to help her. Her breath stuck at the back of her throat as he came up close behind her. He slid his arms around her to guide the position of the cue and leaned with her as she lined up the ball.
"Try to keep the action nice and smooth, don't jerk." His breath blew warm and soft in her ear. "Relax Jen, it isn't going to bite you."
Her knees shook as she made the shot. To her surprise, it rolled cleanly across the table and hit the exact spot she'd been aiming for.
"There you go! Told you it was easy."
Nate straightened up with her to watch the shot. His expression turned sober, as if he realized just how close he had been to her. She pinned a cheerful smile to her face. "Not too bad, eh? You're a good teacher. So show me again how you held your stick thing."
The tense moment passed and he shook his head, laughing. "Cue, Jenni. It's called a cue."
The evening passed all too quickly. She soon discovered a natural aptitude for the game. Nate's praise for her blossoming skills filled her with a warm glow of pleasure. He also appeared to enjoy the evening. For once, the ever-present ghost of Cerys seemed to have left him. She wondered if the anniversary of the accident had been the real reason he hadn't wanted to be alone this weekend.
He refused to allow her to call a taxi and insisted on driving her home. The disappointment and grief of the afternoon's futile wait at the café seemed a million miles away, although her heart still felt sore at her mother's failure to show up. In many ways it had been like being left all over again. The feeling of not being good enough, which had been stamped on her from childhood, still lingered in her heart.
As the car slid to a halt, she realized they had arrived outside her flat. Now what? She had no experience of the etiquette for this sort of situation. Should she ask him in for coffee? It seemed rude not to, but Lorna had once said that coffee was a euphemism for other things. After what Nate had said earlier about other women's expectations, she didn't want to give him the wrong impression.
"Thank you for everything today, Nate."
He smiled at her, but his eyes stayed serious and businesslike. "It was my pleasure, Jenni. I enjoyed your company. I'm sorry your mother didn't show."
"Well, you did warn me not to get my hopes up." But the hurt resurfaced to settle like a stone in her stomach.
"I'd better get back to Rufus."
Relief tinged with regret swept through her. "Well, goodnight. See you Monday."
He leaned across her to open the door.
"Goodnight, Jen." His lips brushed her cheek. Her heart and pulse soared. She climbed down from the car with shaking legs and slammed the door shut. She steeled herself not to look back before she hurried across the road as if the devil himself were after her.
Chapter Three
It had been a lovely evening. Jenni had been nice, funny and a good companion before he'd spoilt everything and kissed her. She'd shot out of the car like he'd grown an extra head. It had only been a peck on the cheek! A gesture of friendship, that's all.
He pulled to a halt outside his house and switched off the engine. If being with her was a mere friendship thing, why did he feel as he if he had stuck his finger in a power socket every time he touched her? This was Jenni, for goodness sake, his secretary.
He sighed as he let himself into the house. Rufus padded up to meet him, pushing his nose into Nate's hand in a gesture of welcome. Nate realized for the whole evening he hadn't once thought about Cerys. He wandered into the lounge, snapped on a lamp and poured himself a drink. The raw edge of the scotch on the back of his throat made his eyes water. Cerys, beautiful Cerys, his perfect woman.
Nate sank down in a leather armchair. He swished the glass in his hand back and forth, watching the amber liquid swirl. Memories of the accident crept back into his mind. An insidious nightmare that refused to leave him. Cerys—tall, blonde and beautiful with her smiling face. He closed his eyes, but she still remained there, her green eyes bright with laughter. Then the memories of the accident came—the screech of the tyres fighting for a grip on the wet road. The sound of Cerys screaming, hands grabbing at the wheel, the struggle to control the inevitable, then an almighty crash, and silence.
That had been the worse part. The silence. It had seemed to go on forever before a welcoming tide of darkness had taken him over and he had woken in a hospital bed. He opened his eyes and took another swig of whisky. A sick feeling of guilt overwhelmed him. Only yesterday he had taken flowers to her grave. He had no right to be out with another woman, even if it had only been Jenni.
He swallowed the rest of his scotch in a single gulp and turned off the lamp, then headed upstairs to bed with Rufus trotting at his heels.
* * * *
Jenni watched from the window as Nate's car rolled out of sight, before letting the curtain drop back into place. Her cheek burned as if she had been branded and her skin still tingled from where his lips had touched her. Anyone would think she'd never been kissed before. Well, not many times before, but those had been on the lips, and hadn't made her feel so...
Jenni paused in her self-analysis, not sure she wanted to go there. It had been a long day. She had been over-emotional. Nate had taken pity on her. He must kiss lots of women in the same way. It was just a sociable gesture. She ignored the niggling ache in her heart which betrayed her true feelings.
After she changed for bed, she replaced her precious photograph back in her keepsake box. Jenni wondered if she would ever hear from her mother again.
She woke the next day with a mild headache and a discontented, out-of-sorts feeling. She thought back to the previous night and searched for what had triggered the restless, dissatisfied mood which had her in its grip. Irritated with herself, she flung open the wardrobe doors and gazed at her clothes.
"You know an invitation to dinner means just that." Nate's words haunted her. In other words, she wasn't the kind of woman men saw as a desirable dinner date. And he could have a point. She wasn't over-run with offers, was she?
Maybe she should take Lorna's advice and revamp herself. Enter the dating game. It wasn't as if she was ugly, just dowdy. Jenni d
idn't have much cash, but she did have a sewing machine and she knew how to use it. Before she could change her mind, she started to pull the hangers from her closet. She tugged out her sewing machine from the bottom of the cupboard.
Later that night, Jenni surveyed her day's handiwork with a satisfied smile. A few alterations on seams and hems had made quite a difference, but she would need some advice from Lorna about her hair and make-up. Lorna always looked smart, and she bought all the latest fashion magazines. Her friend would be bound to have some good ideas.
* * * *
Jenni felt self-conscious of her appearance as she walked through the revolving doors of the office building the next morning. The seams she had altered showed her slim waist to advantage and the shorter hem revealed long, shapely legs. It was a respectable and appropriate outfit for work, but in the glass atrium of reality, she felt over-exposed.
Lorna waved to her from the reception desk and Jenni hurried over.
"You look different," Lorna announced. "I don't know what you've done, but you look great."
"I'll tell you everything at lunchtime." Jenni automatically smoothed her skirt.
Lorna lifted an immaculately pencilled eyebrow. "Sounds interesting! What have you been up to over the weekend?"
Jenni caught sight of the time and cut her friend short. "I promise I'll tell you later. I've got to go. It's the monthly meeting and I daren't be late."
She squeezed in to the lift as the door started to close. The other occupant was a member of the accountancy team, a young man who appeared to blush as much as she did.
"It's Jenni, isn't it? Mr Mayer's P.A? I'm Mike, I work in accounts." He stammered a little as he spoke. Jenni couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him. She knew what it felt like to be shy.
"Yes, I'm Jenni. I thought I saw you at the meeting last month."
The lift door opened and he followed her out onto the landing. "I, erm, just wanted to say you look very nice today," he called after her.
Jenni knew she must be as scarlet as a poppy. She paused, feeling awkward, her hand on the office door handle. She called back, "Thank you."
The door opened in front of her before she had time to turn the handle, taking her by surprise. She cannoned into Nate's chest and bumped her nose against his chin.
"When you've finished flirting, Jenni, we've got a meeting."
Her breath whooshed out of her at his sudden appearance. Shaken, she stared up at him. All the small pleasure of Mike's compliment evaporated along with most of her good mood.
"I'll just be a minute," she heard herself say as she slipped past him into the office.
The door slammed shut behind her and she heard the deep rumble of Nate's voice through the wall as he greeted the other staff in the boardroom.
* * * *
The meeting passed by in a blur. The workload was fast and furious as they had a prestigious job to tender for in New York. Their American agent had done as much as she was able to, so now it depended on the reception their designs and prices received.
"You'll need to check your passport is valid if this project goes through, Jenni," Nate remarked as she tidied up the post meeting debris.
She almost dropped her stack of cups. "I don't have a passport." She blurted the words out before she even thought to ask him why she needed one. Nate had such an expression of incredulity on his face she almost laughed out loud.
"No passport? You mean you've never left the country or that it's expired?"
She carried on placing the dirty cups on the tray. "I've never had a passport. I've never been abroad, unless you count the Isle of Wight when I was three."
He stood staring at her in disbelief. She returned his gaze with a hint of a challenge, daring him to make something of it.
"Well, you'd better get one sorted out quickly. If this all goes ahead, which I feel sure it will, you'll be coming to New York with me in January."
She wasn't sure what to say. The prospect of travelling excited her, but to go so far away, and with Nate. A mixture of emotions whizzed through her brain with irritation surfacing that he took it for granted that she would come.
"A little notice would have been nice," she suggested.
He frowned. "This isn't something new, Jenni. I know I haven't asked you to travel before, but we did discuss the possibility when you took the job. Are you telling me you don't want to go?"
She paused with the tray in her hands. "No. It's just that, well, I might have had plans."
A trace of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Just let him laugh, she thought, as she banged the sugar bowl down.
"And did you?" he asked, his voice smooth. "Have plans?"
She could see amusement glinting in his eyes. She gathered up the tray and her self-esteem with as much dignity as she could muster. "As it happens, I haven't anything definite."
She swept into the tiny kitchen where the conference supplies were kept and whacked the tray down hard on the counter. She threw the cups into the sink, then scrubbed them with a ferocity they didn't deserve before going downstairs to meet Lorna for lunch.
She filled her friend in on her weekend over a cheese salad sandwich in the café down the road. For the first time in ages, she didn't feel guilty at the expense and splurged on chocolate muffins for dessert. Lorna rewarded her with undivided attention as Jenni told her about her mother and her evening with Nate. The kiss part she kept to herself.
"I've been telling you for ages to make more of yourself, Jen. I didn't know you were so good on the sewing machine though. A night out with the boss too. Things are looking up!" Mischief danced in Lorna's eyes as she smiled at Jenni.
Jenni sighed and sipped her tea, ignoring Lorna's teasing. "You don't think I'm making a fool of myself, then?"
Lorna stared at her. "Why would you be making a fool of yourself? You're entitled to a life, Jenni. You're young with a fantastic figure, a pretty face and a great personality." She grinned and licked a piece of chocolate from her finger. "Mike from Accounts really likes you."
Jenni shook her head in reproof at Lorna's blatant hint. "Yeah right! Like he'd be interested in me! Come on, look at the time. I daren't be late twice in one day."
* * * *
Nate watched Jenni depart in a huff along the corridor. He wasn't quite sure what was different about her today. She looked the same. Well, almost the same. But he didn't remember noticing she had such great legs before, or the way her skirt fitted so very nicely over her hips.
No wonder Mike Walker had started to pay her attention. Jenni deserved better than some wet-behind-the-ears moneyman, but she had shot off to lunch pretty quickly and Nate couldn't help but wonder who she had been lunching with.
He heard Jenni sneak back into the office after her lunch break. The tell-tale squeak of her chair as she slid it out from under the desk gave her away. He looked at his watch, realizing she had taken the full hour and had just about made it back in time. Jenni never took her full break. Maybe she had been to meet Mike. For some reason, the thought didn't please Nate at all.
* * * *
"Did you have a nice lunch?"
Jenni gave a guilty start as Nate entered the office. Had he noticed she'd been a few minutes late?
"Lovely, thanks." Nate in a bad mood could be very trying. She wished he would go back to his own office. She hated it when he kept hanging around. It made it so hard to concentrate on her work.
"Go anywhere nice?" He drummed a pen against the top of her desk.
Her temper rose. What on earth was the matter with him today?
"Only to the café down the road. Did you forget something, Nate? I need to get on." She kept her fingers poised over the keyboard and willed him to go away.
"I just wanted to let you know that we have a hectic time ahead of us. I'm afraid it will mean a lot of late nights and some weekend work."
She looked at him and tried to interpret the expression on his face. He didn't often bother telling her they needed to do e
xtra hours. "That's okay, I could use the money," she said.
"What I mean, Jenni, is it might not be a good time to, you know, get involved with anyone." He stopped the irritating drumming to lean casually against the desk.
Now he really had her beat. She was horrified. Was he hinting that she shouldn't get ideas about him? Of all the conceited...
"I wasn't aware my private life was any concern of yours, and if you think for one moment I would be interested in you, then you can think again."
He drew himself up to his full height. She knew by the frosty look on his face she had said something out of turn.
"I was referring to your friend Mr Walker," he announced in a glacial tone. Before she had time to respond, his door slammed shut and he was gone.
"Well, that told you," she muttered.
How to completely humiliate yourself in one easy lesson. It was just as well she'd never thought of Nate in a romantic light. Well, except for one very nice dream she'd had the other night.
She switched off that particular memory.
Nate's door exploded open. "Have you done those memos yet?"
"Almost," she lied, and started to type, forcing herself to concentrate on her work.
* * * *
The morning turned into a long and horrible afternoon. By the time she'd finished her work, the cleaners had started to vacuum the carpet in the corridor outside her office. Her head pounded with the noise.
She switched off her monitor with a sigh. Nate remained in his office, hard at work. Darkness had fallen outside, and as she turned off her desk lamp, she realized she felt both tired and hungry. She rapped on Nate's door, then pushed it open and carried on in. "Nate, I'm going home now. Are you done yet?"
