by Billy Lyon
16
“Hey,” Steven said after they had finished. “Isn’t this the part where I get up to make a sandwich and you get mad because I don’t want to cuddle?”
“Of course it is,” Anna Marie shot back. “You are a male vampire, aren’t you? Unfortunately, we only have a few minutes before we turn into pumpkins. Roasted pumpkins.”
Anna Marie picked a small bell off the bedside table and rang it. Almost immediately, an acolyte entered. This one was a spectacular redhead with runaway tits and the kind of ass that inspire men to write hip-hop.
Anna Marie, can we please, please, pretty please keep this one?
Maybe, if you’re a good vampire. This is Lisa, our personal acolyte. She takes very good care of me.
Before Steven could entertain any thoughts of what takes very good care of me might entail, Anna Marie continued. “Lisa, this is Steven. He joined the clan tonight and will be living with me. For all intents and purposes, he is your king. Would you please bring each of us 100ccs of morphine?”
“At once,” Lisa said, and left the room.
“Steven, are you hungry? If you are, I keep a few bottles of blood in the fridge for snacking purposes. It’s not nearly as good as the fresh stuff but it will hold you over until you get a chance to feed again.”
“I couldn’t drink a drop.”
“Then let me show you to your coffin.” She led him to the far wall of the bedroom, where a large marble stand stood. On top of it sat a statue of some type of dog/man holding a spear. Steven thought it represented one of the Egyptian gods but had no idea which one. Anna Marie titled the head of the statue back. A red light shone upwards through a glass oval.
“What the hell is that?” Steven asked.
“Fingerprint recognition. For security,” Anna Marie explained. “Right now it only accepts mine and Lisa’s prints, but we’ll have it reprogrammed to take yours when we’ve got more time.”
Anna Marie placed an index finger onto the oval. A hidden door opened in the wall. “Mr. Jameson, your casket awaits,” she said.
“Do we have a coffin built for two?”
“I wish, but every vampire is required to sleep alone during the day. It’s -”
“I know,” Steven said, “the rules.”
“Exactly.”
They crossed the threshold into the room that would protect them from the sun’s deadly rays. Why in the hell would a family of vampires want to live in Florida?” Steven asked himself. “Don’t they know it’s the Sunshine State?”
Steven halfway expected the room to resemble something from one of the old Hammer movies, and looked around for cobwebs and tarantulas, but was pleasantly surprised. If there was an underlying motif to the massive room, it was opulence. The walls were covered with a subdued beige paint interspersed with flakes of 18 carat gold, and hanging on them were pieces of art comparable in value to those he’d seen earlier in the Banquet Hall.
They crossed the Italian marble floor to the center of the room, where two massive coffins sat. The width of the coffins was at least twice that of an average human, and their height was just as exaggerated. Anna Marie walked to the coffin on the left. “This one is yours. I hope you like it.” Steven walked to it and placed a hand on top of the hard metal surface.
“It’s titanium,” Anna Marie said and opened the lid.
The interior of the coffin was draped in black silk. A thin lining of graveyard dirt lay along the coffin’s bottom. Steven examined the display on the underside of the coffin’s lid. It was as impressive and complicated as an airliner’s instrument panel. He whistled. “Damn, these must be the luxury models.”
“Nothing but the best. Okay, here’s the quick fifty-cent tour,” Anna Marie said as she pointed to the various knobs, switches, and digital displays. “Here’s the climate control, USB port, AM/FM, CD, intercom, and emergency exit switch. The lid automatically locks when you close it, and only Lisa or I can open it from the outside. If you want to open it from your end, you’ll need to enter a four-digit code like you would with an ATM. The code is preset to the year you joined us, but you can change it to anything you like later. There’s lots more neat stuff that I’ll show you later, but right now we have to go to bed.”
As if on cue, Lisa entered with their dope. Anna Marie took a vial of morphine and a syringe from the golden tray and embraced Steven. “I’ll fix when I get inside. That way Lisa will have plenty of time to give you your shot. Thanks for coming into my life, Steven. You gave me the gift of believing in love again.” She kissed him, got into her coffin, and closed the lid behind her. Steven missed her already.
Lisa took his arm and quickly injected the morphine. As the calm, warming effects took hold Steven sank back into the soft lining and barely heard the lid close before he succumbed to a deep, restful sleep.
This time there were no nightmares. In fact, Steven felt like he’d only closed his eyes for a few seconds before waking up. What time is it? He shook off the last remnants of sleep and looked around, getting his bearings.
A mild fluorescent light illuminated the darkness around him. Classical music began to play from unseen speakers and a computer-generated female voice began to speak in a succulent upper-class British accent.
“Good evening, Steven,” the invisible vixen said. “Today is Monday, June the twenty-second. The local time is 9:16 PM and the outside temperature is eighty-three degrees Fahrenheit with a relative humidity of ninety-two percent. The forecast for tonight is for clear skies until shortly after midnight, when a low pressure system from the West…”
Steven pushed up on the coffin’s lid and when it didn’t budge, he remembered that he needed to punch in a code before it would open. He racked his brain until his head hurt, but still couldn’t remember what the damned thing was. Just as he was resigning himself to being stuck for the night, the lid opened on its own. Anna Marie stood above him, looking beautiful.
“Good evening, Sleepyhead,” she said, smiling.
Steven climbed out of the coffin and gave her a kiss. “Good evening yourself. So what’s on the agenda for tonight?”
“How would you like to spend some time with me, Handsome?” asked a voice coming from the doorway. Steven looked and was pleasantly surprised to see Teresa. He walked over and hugged her.
“You know I’m always down to spend time with you, Teresa. What have you got in mind?”
During his initiation ceremony Anna Marie had called Teresa one of the clan’s fiercest warriors, but try as he might, Steven still couldn’t see it. To him she would always look more like a mall rat than a vampire, yet he enjoyed her company immensely.
Tonight she was dressed almost the same as she had been the last time Steven had seen her. She still wore combat boots, jeans and a black t-shirt, but this time instead of Black Sabbath her t-shirt said The Gits. Pinned to the front of the shirt was a button that said Question Authority. A studded, black leather bracelet adorned her left wrist, and her hair, which had been red and black the last time he had seen it, was now lime green. She was different, to be sure, but different was what Steven liked. He’d always felt that normal was another way of saying boring. “Have you told Steven what we’re going to be doing tonight?” Teresa asked Anna Marie.
“Nope. I was just getting ready to when you knocked.” Teresa reached into the pocket of her dress and withdrew a crumpled pack of cigarettes. She withdrew one, lit it, and inhaled deeply. As she exhaled she offered the pack to the other two vampires.
As the three of them stood and smoked Teresa said, “I’m a little bit early, I know. Sorry about that.”
“No reason to apologize. It’s good that you take your job so seriously,” Anna Marie said in between puffs.
“So what is your job exactly, Teresa?” Steven asked.
“Well, tonight it’s training you.”
“Training me? What am I, a dog?”
Anna Marie laughed. “Sit, Steven, sit. Teresa is going to teach you some of the basics. Remember
the Vampire 101 I told you about? I’ve got some stuff to do so I won’t be around for a while but I’ll catch up with you guys later.”
“You ready?” Teresa asked.
“Almost,” Steven said and gave Anna Marie a kiss. “Love you.”
“You too.”
Teresa looked at them and grinned. “How sweet.”
17
Even though Florida gets around two hundred and fifty days of sunshine a year, Steven was glad it served as the clan’s current home. He might be deathly afraid of the sun, but he still loved the heat. A scorching blast of air so humid that you could suck it with a straw met him as they walked outside. It felt wonderful after having been cooped up inside for the past two days with the AC stuck on 65 degrees.
“So tell me about yourself, Teresa,” Steven said as they walked out of the mansion and onto the front lawn. What did you do before you joined the clan?”
“Would you believe me if I told you I was a Roman soldier back in the day when there were gladiators and Christians were cat food?”
Steven tried to hold back his laughter but couldn’t quite pull it off. “Sorry, Teresa. I don’t mean any disrespect. It’s just that you’re so -” Before he knew it he was flat on his back, wondering how Teresa had moved from where she was standing, knocked him on his ass, and then shot back to her original spot so quickly that he hadn’t seen her move.
“You were saying?” Teresa asked as she helped him back onto his feet.
“Well I was going to say ‘you’re so small’, but it’s probably a much better idea if I just keep my mouth shut and listen from here on out.”
“No hard feelings,” Teresa said. “I just like to get that out of the way right off the bat. Everybody thinks that I’m too small to be a warrior when they first meet me, but I usually manage to change their minds fairly quickly.”
“You’ve changed mine for sure,” Steven said as he rubbed the sore spot on his ass. “So what was it like being a soldier?”
“I loved it. The army wouldn’t take me because I was a girl, but Dad was a soldier his entire adult life. When he wasn’t off fighting, he taught me everything he knew about close combat.”
“Well, he obviously did a good job,” Steven said. “Do you mind if I ask how you became a vampire?”
“Not at all. My Dad was killed fighting the Picts. I took his death hard and swore revenge. Even though I was a girl, my tits and ass hadn’t really filled in all that much and I could pass as male, so I faked a birth certificate, cut off my hair, and enlisted. My skills served me well, and I sent my share of Picts to hell. Unfortunately, I injured my back during one particularly bloody battle and could no longer fight. After leaving the army the pain was so bad that I wanted to die, and I probably would have killed myself if I hadn’t discovered opium. I quickly became addicted and would have most likely died that way, but Anna Marie showed up out of nowhere and changed my life. The rest, as they say, is history. What about you, Steven? What’s your story?”
“Nothing nearly as exciting. I was just bumming around some back alleys looking for trouble when I ran into Anna Marie.”
“Well however you got here, I’m glad you did, but listen. I’m dying to know what happened between you and Anna Marie last night. Are you guys in love?”
The sudden change of color in Steven’s face gave him away. Teresa punched him on the shoulder. “I knew it! Congratulations, Steven, that’s so cool! Things have gotten way too stale around here, and this will be just what we need to shake things up. I can’t wait to see the look on Eric’s face when he finds out.”
“He already has,” Steven said, and told Teresa about Eric catching him in bed with Anna Marie.
“Oh my God! I would have given anything to have seen the look on his face!” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a good-sized baggie of dope. “How about we partake a little bit before we get started? You can’t have too much because I want you sharp, but a little taste couldn’t hurt.”
“A little taste can never hurt,” Steven said, and snorted a small bump. “So what’s this training all about?”.
“Well, Anna Marie was joking when she called it Vampire 101, but in reality that’s not that far from the truth. Tonight I’m going to be teaching you the basic skills you’ll need to survive as a vampire. We’ll start with shapeshifting.”
“Shapeshifting? What the hell is that?”
“It means turning from a vampire into something completely different, like a dog, a bird, or a human. You can even go old school if you want and turn yourself into a bat. It’s one of my favorites. We’ll begin with something simple.
The underlying principle behind any kind of transfiguration is visualization. Learn how to visualize effectively and everything else comes easy. Now close your eyes.”
Steven complied, and Teresa guided him through some simple relaxation exercises. The tight knots in his muscles slowly unwound, and a warm feeling came over him that began in his stomach and spread outward until his body was filled with warmth.
“Relaxed yet?”
“Oh, yeah. I could fall asleep just standing here.”
“Good. That’s just what we want. Learn to recognize how your body feels when it’s perfectly at ease. With some practice you’ll be able to enter this state with no effort at all. Now stay relaxed, and picture yourself holding your arm out in front of you. Make the image of your arm as detailed as you can and hold it in your mind’s eye.”
Steven tried, but quickly found the process to be much more difficult than he would have previously thought possible. It was easy to conjure a reasonably detailed facsimile of his right arm in his mind’s eye, but almost immediately after, stray thoughts would pop up out of nowhere and cause the image to disappear. The harder he tried to keep the unwanted thoughts out of his mind, the more frequently they came.
Teresa sensed the difficulty he was having. “Don’t force it, Steven. If you think too hard about what you’re trying to do it will never happen. When the distractions come just let them bounce off your brain.”
Steven closed his eyes and tried again. This time, when his mind began to wander he concentrated on sliding back into the relaxed feeling he’d started with instead of forcing the picture of his arm. After a couple of times the stray images left and stayed away for good.
“Good job. Now that you’ve got that down pat we can move on,” Teresa said. “Have you ever been to the beach at night and seen a really thick fog roll in from the ocean?”
Steven nodded only slightly, so that the movement of his head wouldn’t destroy the phantom limb he had created in his mind’s eye.
“I want you to imagine such a fog covering the picture of your hand. Make it thick, so thick that it conceals your hand so completely you can’t see it.”
Once Steven had done as she asked, Teresa continued. “Now take things a step further and make the fog not only cover your arm, but dissolve it. Feel the fog blend with your flesh until it becomes one with your arm. Once you’ve done this make it all disappear. The only thing you should see in front of you is an empty space.”
It took a bit longer to get this last part right but he was eventually successful.
“Open your eyes,” Teresa said.
“Holy shit!” Steven’s arm, his real arm, was invisible.
“Good job!” Teresa said, smiling. The next step is to make your entire body disappear, which isn’t nearly as hard as it sounds. Just do the same thing you did with your hand.”
Within forty-five minutes Steven could not only make his body disappear, but could do it in less than a second.
Over the next two hours, Steven learned to use the powers of visualization to not only disappear, but to create other creatures in his mind and infuse his consciousness into them. He ran through the woods as a wolf, flew through the sky as a bird, and even swam in the ocean as a fish before changing back into his vampire body.
“That was fun!” Steven held out his fist, and Teresa bumped it.
; “I’m glad you had a good time,” Teresa said, “because that was the easy part.”
“Uh-oh, you sound serious,” Steven said nervously.
Teresa laughed. “Well, no one is going to die or anything. The next part is more difficult, but you’re a fast learner so I’m sure you won’t have any major problems.”
“What is the next part?”
“Did you ever do any hunting as a human?”
“Only my dealer.”
“I’ve done my share of that,” Teresa said, laughing. “Well, it doesn’t matter. I prefer a blank slate when I’m teaching anyway. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how important it is for vampires to be able to track and kill prey. If you want to eat you have to be able to find food.”
“Yeah, I get that, but why couldn’t I just fly down to International Drive and snatch a tourist whenever I get hungry?”
“You could, but don’t you think doing so might cause a bit of stir? It’s best to hunt humans using stealth and take only those who won’t be missed. Fortunately for us, there has never been a shortage of runaways or hookers in the world. Life is simpler that way if we stay hidden, and we can spend our time pursuing our own interests instead of hiding from vampire killers. Make sense?”
“Sure,” Steven replied. “How often do we hunt? Anna Marie mentioned something about bottled blood.”
Teresa scowled. “Yeah, we’ve got that stuff, but most of us avoid it unless there’s nothing else available. A hundred cases of bottled blood could never match the taste of the real thing as it spews out of a dying human’s throat. Even if it could, drinking blood from a bottle makes vampires lazy, which is a definite no-no because we have to always be prepared for war. Has Anna Marie mentioned the Draconians?”
“Only briefly.”
“Well, they’re the Yankees to our Red Sox.” We try to maintain an atmosphere of détente with them, but sometimes we have to kick the shit out of them just to keep their respect. And if it’s not the Draconians, it’s the Bible-thumpers, and if it’s not them it’s an overzealous reporter. Get the idea?”
