by Pandora Pine
“The way I heard it, you walked away from him too.” She raised an eyebrow in challenge. “Besides, who cares?”
“Who cares, is starting to sound like a mantra.” Dec grinned.
Peg laughed. “It might just be. You boys were having a ball up in the mountains. What happened to end it?”
Peg was the first person to ask that question. Ben had hugged him and promised to be there for him and Knox had just shaken his head. No one offered any advice. “We agreed to use the week away as a test run, of sorts.”
“Sounded to me like you both crossed the finish line as winners. What happened to throw you both off into a ditch?”
“Rem never said what he wanted to happen next between us.” It still killed him that Rem was content to just let their week end and then had the nerve to get mad at him for walking away.
“Did you tell him what you wanted to happen next?”
“No. I figured his non-answer was an answer.”
“God, you boys are stupid.” Peg shook her head.
Dec burst out laughing. “Thanks, Peg. Good talk.”
“You have no idea what Remington wanted to happen next, right?”
“Right.”
“What if he wants you and by walking away, you broke his heart?”
“Rem’s fine. He’s got Gemma.”
Peg blew out a sigh. “Rem isn’t fine, Declan.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nash said he looks like shit. He isn’t eating and it doesn’t look like he’s been sleeping very well. None of the boys know what to do to help him. They don’t know what to do to help you either.”
Dec was stunned. Why would the other guys want to help him?
“What’s worse is that Gemma’s struggling too.”
That got Declan’s attention. “What do you mean she’s struggling?”
“That little girl saw both of you as her parents. She might not have been calling you guys ‘Daddy,’ but you were her family. She’s lost her spirit, Declan. She didn’t even do that after her mother died. All of the yelling and fighting with Remington was her way of trying to control a situation she had no control over. Now she’s just given up. Kind of like you and Rem…”
Declan’s heart broke all over again. He’d figured Gemma wouldn’t miss him at all. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you love him?”
Dec nodded, feeling tears pricking at the back of his eyes. “I always have.”
“And I know you love our Gemmy.”
“More than my own life.”
“So call him. I know you’re hurt and its possible Rem might not want to talk to you, but you need to try.” Peg wrapped her arms around Dec’s shoulders. “Do you want to know what I see? I see two men who are crazy in love with each other, but neither of you are willing to fight for that love.”
He knew Peg was right. It had been on the tip of his tongue to tell Rem how much he loved him on that last day in New Hampshire, but he’d been too afraid to say it. He reached back into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. “I’ll do better than calling him, I’ll go by the school and ask him to have dinner with me.”
“That’s my boy.” Peg hugged him again.
“What if he says no or won’t see me?” Dec felt the old doubt start to creep back in.
Peg whacked the back of his head. “You fight for him.”
“I will.” What was the worst that could happen? He was already alone and missing Rem and Gemma so bad it was hard to catch his breath. He’d fight and fight hard for the man he loved and the little girl he wanted to be his own.
17
Rem woke up eager to start the day. After a week of only catching brief cat-naps throughout the night, he’d slept like a rock. Today was going to be the day he was going to get Declan back.
He’d known now for a few days that’s he’d never really fallen out of love with his ex. Rem might have been mad and deeply hurt by Declan for the last two years, but the love was always there, hiding in plain sight.
“Gemmy! Time to wake up, sweetie!” Rem sing-songed to the small lump hiding under the covers.
Gemma grumbled something unintelligible.
“Today’s going to be the best day of our lives, so you’ve gotta get up!”
Gemma threw back the covers and shot Rem an angry look. Her dark, messy curls hung over her eyes. She flipped her head and looked at Rem. “We don’t have Dec. How can today be a good day?”
Gemma had a point. Every day for the last week had been a bad day without Declan in their lives. Rem could admit now what a stubborn son of a bitch he was. He should have told Declan he loved him that last day in New Hampshire instead of stomping out of the room.
“We’re gonna get Dec back today.” Rem sat on the edge of her bed.
“We are?” Gemma’s eyes widened and she crawled into Rem’s lap. “How?”
“I’m gonna call him after we get to school and invite him to dinner. We’ll go to the grocery store after school and get all of the ingredients for his favorite meal.”
“What if he doesn’t wanna see us?” Her chin quivered.
That was the rub, wasn’t it? What if Dec was done with him forever? Rem shook his head as if he could knock that ridiculous thought out of his skull. “I’ll tell him in the message how much we both miss him and that we want him back.”
“And that you’re sorry for being mean?” Gemma asked hopefully.
“That too! Now, let’s get a move on. We’ve gotta get out of the house early today. I need to stop at the grocery store and grab muffins for the teachers, like we do every Friday.”
“I wish we could get muffins for the kids too.” Gemma kissed his cheek and bounced off his lap on her way to the bathroom. He could hear her calling for Blackie. For whatever strange reason, that cat loved to be in the bathroom with Gemma.
What Gemma didn’t know was that Nash’s annual Significant Mothers’ day was coming up next week and there would be a big party to celebrate mothers and others. Nash had come to him the first year they’d been at Little Wonders Montessori and asked if he could put on a Mother’s Day pageant where the kids would make crafts and put on a skit. The mothers would bring finger sandwiches and desserts and would join the class for the afternoon.
Rem had loved the idea, but living in such a diverse town as Newburyport, thought the day should be extended to “others” who weren’t necessarily mothers. There had been a child in the other kindergarten class whose mother had died in childbirth and there had also been a little boy being raised by gay fathers. There was no way he wanted to exclude those kids from participating.
Nash had loved the idea of hosting mothers and others. One night over apps at The Blue Chicken, Knox had come up with the name Significant Mothers and it had stuck.
Rem knew Gemma was going to have a ball at the party next week. He planned to invite Peg McKinnon and hoped Declan would want to come as well.
Just thinking about Declan set his heart racing and sent butterflies rioting in his belly. He needed to figure out the right words to use to apologize to Dec and to get him to consider coming over for dinner.
“Uncle Remy, what do you think of my dress?” Gemma spun around for him, sending the skirt of her ladybug dress twirling.
“I love that dress, Gemmy. I think Declan will love it too.”
“It’s my new favorite because you bought it for me.”
Rem swept the little girl into his arms and danced with her around the room. “I love you so much, my little ladybug.”
“I love you too.” Gemma peppered his face with kisses.
“Get your backpack together and put your shoes on and I’ll make us some cereal, okay?”
Gemma nodded and ran off to do what Rem had asked. Only a few weeks ago Gemma would have refused and thrown some sort of a tantrum.
It warmed Rem’s heart to see how far she’d come in such a short period of time. He knew part of the credit for Gemma’s turnaround had to do with Dec
lan. He’d make sure to thank him again for all of the amazing changes he’d helped bring into his and Gemma’s lives.
Twenty minutes later, Gemma was strapped into her car seat, happily singing along to the song on the radio. Rem grinned at her and buckled his seatbelt.
It was a ten minute ride to the supermarket which would give him plenty of time to figure out how the hell to apologize to Declan for being such a jerk that last day in New Hampshire. He’d tell the impossible man that he was sorry for not telling him sooner that he loved him and wanted him in his and Gemma’s lives permanently. Lastly, he’d tell Declan that he wanted them to have a big, splashy summer wedding on a beach somewhere. Rem refused to even think that Declan would say no.
Rem stopped the car at the light at the intersection of Low Street and Route 1.
“Uncle Remy, turn it up! I love Katy Perry.” Gemma yelled from the backseat.
Rem did as Gemma asked. He watched her dancing in the rearview mirror as she belted out the words to Roar.
“Sing too!” Gemma urged.
Rem joined in with his deep voice, laughing at how ridiculous he sounded singing the song. He couldn’t care less. Gemma was happy and later this morning he was going to get the man of his dreams back in his life. The light turned green and Rem tuned the wheel to take a left onto Low Street.
Out of nowhere a black SUV ran the red light and t-boned Rem’s car. Glass shattered and started flying as the car spun. Rem could hear Gemma screaming as he fought the wheel to stop the spin. He was helpless to do anything as the car slammed into the guardrail. The last thing he noticed before the blackness pulled him under was that Gemma had gone silent.
XX
Declan felt like he was on top of the world. He dipped his nose down into the fresh bouquet of flowers he’d gotten at the local florist shop for Rem. His ex was especially fond of roses and Declan had gotten him two dozen of the most gorgeous coral-colored blooms he’d ever seen.
He knew he was taking a risk showing up at Little Wonders to surprise Rem with his gift and apology, but he was hoping Rem would at least give him ten minutes in his office to plead his case.
Breezing through the front doors, Dec headed for the main office where he could see two of the secretaries along with Nash and Knox gathered together. It looked like everyone was upset. “Why all the long faces?” Declan hoped there wasn’t something wrong with one of the kids.
“Have you seen or heard from Rem this morning?” Nash was nibbling his bottom lip with his teeth. His iPhone was clutched in his left hand.
Dec shook his head. “No, I haven’t spoken to him since we came back from vacation.” Guilt flooded through his body. He’d been so stupid to have let things get to this point with Rem where they weren’t communicating with each other. He’d been given a second chance with the man of his dreams and he’d thrown it away.
“I haven’t seen him since we left school yesterday,” Knox added.
“Me too,” Nash shot Declan a guilty look. “We’ve all kind of been laying low with him since we got back from vacation. He’s been upset and we weren’t quite sure how to help.”
None of that mattered now. What did matter was where Rem was. “I take it Gemma isn’t here either?”
Nash shook his head.
“Have you called his cell phone?” Declan handed the flowers to Knox and dug around in his back pocket for the phone.
“We’ve all been trying to call him for the last hour.” Nash exchanged an uneasy look with Knox. “His phone is going straight to voicemail.”
“Has anyone called Ben Wagner in case something is wrong with Gemma?” Dec looked back and forth between Nash and Knox.
“No. I’ll do that now.” Knox set the bouquet of roses on the counter and pulled out his phone. “Hey, Ben, sorry to bother you at work.” Knox rolled his eyes. “No, this doesn’t have anything to do with plans to go to the Blue Chicken tonight. It’s Rem. He’s over an hour late for work and no one can get in touch with him.” Knox shook his head at Nash. “Okay, well, can you let us know if you hear from him?” Knox pushed the end button. “Ben hasn’t spoken to Rem since that last day of vacation.”
Declan could see the panic rising in everyone’s eyes. “Okay, let’s not jump to conclusions here. I’ll go over to his house. I’m sure Rem forgot to set the alarm and he and Gemmy are sleeping in. Why don’t you go back to class and I’ll be in touch when I get to the house.”
Neither Knox nor Nash looked relieved.
“Guys, I’m sure everything is fine. I’ll just run over there. I still have a key from when I was kind of living there a few weeks ago.”
“Are the flowers for Rem?” Nash fingered one of the delicate peachy petals.
Dec nodded. “I was a complete fool. Your mom stopped by last night and put the fear of God in me. I never stopped loving him.”
“We know.” Knox offered a small smile. “Now get moving. The quicker you get over there, the sooner we all can relax.”
“I’ll be in touch.” Dec didn’t want to show that his own panic was rising as well. He managed to walk slowly out the front door of the school, but once he was out of sight of the main office, he broke into a run.
Rem was never late for anything. He never forgot to set his alarm. Dec knew the reason Knox and Nash looked so scared was because they knew it too. Dec climbed into the car and put his seatbelt on. His right hand shook as he tried to put the key in the ignition.
Any number of things could have kept Rem from getting in to work on time. Maybe the car wouldn’t start or Blackie got lost. Or they’d been in an accident…
No! Declan wasn’t going to think like that. If there was a problem with Blackie, Rem would have bolted for the vet without a thought to his job or Gemma missing school.
Even though he was driving the speed limit, it felt like he was moving in slow motion. Trees and street signs seemed to pass like they were standing still instead of being their usual blur of color.
Declan turned onto Rem’s street. He could see the house from halfway down the block, but couldn’t tell if Rem’s car was in the driveway.
As he approached the driveway, Declan’s heart sank. Rem’s car wasn’t parked there. It wasn’t unheard of for him to park it in the garage if there was bad weather coming. Today was sunny and almost seventy degrees, warm for the end of April.
Dec got out of the car on shaking legs that he felt weren’t going to hold him up. He ran full-out to the front door, fumbling with his keys as he ran.
After the third try, he was able to slip the key into the lock and slide the bolt back. “Rem?” Dec panted. “Gemma?” He ran into the kitchen and saw signs of breakfast, two cereal bowls were sitting in the sink.
His heart was beating so loud in his hears he could barely hear himself think. He ran to the bedrooms and saw Rem’s neatly made bed and then Gemma’s partially made bed. Blackie was curled up in a ball on Gemma’s pillow.
Sweet Jesus, where the hell could they be? Dec checked the empty bathroom before running to the garage door. Yanking it open, he could see it was empty as well.
Sinking to his knees, Dec pulled out his phone. It was obvious whatever happened to Rem and Gemma happened after they’d left the house for the morning. The only thing left to do was to call the hospital or the police to see if there had been any accidents reported.
He wasn’t strong enough for this. How the hell was he going to call the hospital to find out if Rem and Gemma had been hurt or worse? Not that the person on the other end of the line would tell him much anyway since he wasn’t family.
Declan was about to look up the number to the hospital when his phone rang. It was a local number, but one he didn’t recognize. He cleared his throat. “Declan O’Toole.”
“Mr. O’Toole, my name is Thelma Waters, I’m an emergency room nurse at Massachusetts Mercy Hospital in Newburyport.”
“Oh, my God. Is it Rem and Gemma?” His voice was a raspy whisper.
“Yes. They were in a bad automob
ile accident this morning.”
“Oh Jesus, no. Are they…” Dec didn’t want to think it, let alone say the words out loud.
“Gemma is perfectly fine, but Mr. James was hurt pretty badly. He had a broken leg and head trauma.”
“Head trauma! What does that mean? Is he brain damaged?” What would happen if Rem wasn’t Rem when he woke up?
“We don’t know. Mr. James is having a CT scan. We’ll know more when the results of that are in.”
“D-Did you call his school to tell them too?” Christ, there were so many other people to call. Top on his list, Rainier and Peg McKinnon.
“No, you were listed as his emergency contact, so I called you.”
“You said Gemma is okay? Who is she with?”
“She’s sitting with one of the nurses, but we’ll need someone to come for her or I’ll have to call-”
“Jesus, no! Don’t call social services. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Declan hung up the phone and ran for the door. He would make the calls he needed to make in the car on the way to the hospital.
18
While Declan had driven to the hospital, he’d used the Bluetooth feature in his car to call everyone. The first person on his list was Ben Wagner. He wanted a familiar face with Gemma as soon as possible. His next call was to Knox, knowing he’d be the stronger of the two and would break the news to Nash.
Then he’d called Rainier. After losing his sister only a few short months ago, it was a heartbreaking call to make. Lastly, he’d called Peg McKinnon, knowing Gemma would want her there. Hell, he wanted Peg there. If Declan ever needed a surrogate mother, today was the day.
Declan circled the parking lot at the hospital looking for an open spot. Finally finding one way out in the back of the lot, he got out of the car and sprinted to the emergency room doors. He ran inside and saw Ben pacing the hallway with Gemma cradled in his arms. “Gemmy!” Declan yelled.
“Dec!” Gemma reached her arms out to him.
He took the little girl from Ben’s arms. She clung to him like she was never going to let him go. Dec couldn’t help noticing the shallow cuts marking her arms and face. Her dress was hard and crusty in spots. Looking down at her, Dec could see it was blood. “Jesus, Ben. Is she hurt? The nurse who called said Gemma was fine.”
