by Vivian Wood
“Well. I could have told him that,” Renee said.
“Don’t be a bitch!” Lily said with a laugh.
“I’m not, I just know you! I mean, I don’t think working with people has ever particularly been your strong suit.”
“Well, fortunately even though Jean-Michel said that, he’s still happy with me. He’s still super French even though he’s been in this country for fifteen years. He thinks Americans are too fake happy. So apparently my snobbishness, as he calls it, is an asset in his shop.”
“Yeah, I can see that. You’d do well in Paris,” Renee said. “Maybe that’s where you should be. Italy, though, you have to be really aggressive as a woman.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, when you first get there? As an American, I mean? It’s a serious ego boost. The guys are all over you. It takes you awhile to realize it’s not you. They’re just like that with any woman who’s even remotely attractive.”
Lily nodded. Honestly, it did sound nice. She’d never have to wonder if someone was into her.
“So, no game playing?” she asked. “It’s just all out in the open?”
“Oh, believe me, there are games,” Renee said with a laugh. “It’s just that the rules are totally different than over here.”
“Ugh, is it different anywhere?”
“Probably not,” Renee said. “But you know what helps? Ice cream.”
“From BJ’s?”
“Obviously. Hold up, I’ll go get it.”
Lily listened to the slap of her friend’s feet on the hardwood.
Funny, how some things feel the same forever.
Sitting here in the room where she’d spent so many afternoons as a teenager, the sounds of spoons clanging in the kitchen, for a moment everything felt simpler.
“Ta-da!” Renee said in the doorway. She held up two spoons and a quart of ice cream. “Jamaican fudge.”
“The one with all the rum? Thank God, I could use it.”
Renee jumped on the couch, grabbed the purple furry blanket off the back, and used it to cradle the ice cream between them.
“Alright, I’ve watered you. I’m feeding you. Now spill,” Renee said.
“Spill what?”
Renee elbowed her hard in the ribs.
“You know. Cade. What happened at Redd’s? After that shitshow on the dance floor when he knocked down that creep, you disappeared! I mean, what the hell, was he raised in a barn?”
Lily shook her head vehemently. “No, it—he had a rough childhood.”
“We all did,” Renee replied.
Lily gave her a look. “We’re sitting in your parents’ half a million dollar house. I think your childhood was fine.”
“Point taken.”
“But Cade, he was … he was a foster care kid.”
“No shit.”
“Yeah, he hung around Elijah a lot, and I think … you know, I think my dad was the closest thing he ever had to a father.”
“That sucks,” Renee said. “But, I mean, for you—I just hope you’re not trying to save him or something. You know that never works out.”
“I’m not,” Lily said. “It was never like that.”
“So, do you think that’s partly why he’s such a ladies’ man?” Renee poked around in the ice cream for the biggest ribbon of fudge.
“What do you mean?”
“You know. Like, trying to make up for the love he never had by spreading it around everywhere he can.”
Lily wrinkled her nose. “I never thought about it. But if men sleeping around is caused by them not being loved as children, it seems like there’s a hell of a lot of unloved little boys out there.”
“True,” Renee said. “But still, I don’t think you can be a foster kid and not be fucked up on some level. That’s got to mess with you, right? I mean, how many foster houses was he in?”
“God, I don’t even know,” Lily said. “I mean, I was younger and it’s not like he or Elijah ever talked about that kind of stuff to me or in front of me. But I think it was a lot. I remember he seemed to always be living somewhere new when we were growing up.”
“You’re in a tough spot, Lil,” Renee said. “I just … you know, I hope you’re taking care of yourself. Protecting yourself.”
“I knew he was … a player, or whatever,” Lily said. “But I thought he and I had a real connection. You know? The potential for something real.”
“Yeah, but everyone thinks that. We let our heart get in the way and then we get stupid,” Renee said. “Trust me.”
“What makes you such an expert all of a sudden?”
Renee sighed. “I’m not just not going back to Italy because of the money. That’s part of it, but I could always make it work. It’s—well, Marco dumped me.”
“What? Renee, I’m so sorry. How—”
“Over texts, even.”
“What?”
“He said he’s too young to be tied down, and he loved the time we had together, but now it’s time for us to both move on to whatever comes next. Fucking coward. I know he had this planned, but he was too much of a freaking baby to say it to my face when I was there. You know he took me to the airport? Gave me this long, drawn-out kiss and made a big show of it.”
“Men can be such jerks,” Lily said.
“Yeah, but not all of them. I’m still hopeful about that. That’s why you should talk to Cade before you call it quits. I mean, it seems like you’re really into this guy.”
Lily nodded slowly. “You’re right. I am really into him. And this has gone on long enough. I mean, talking to him, what’s the worst that could happen?”
15
Cade
“Thirty feet, thirty feet!” Cade yelled to the crew. The two newer recruits sweated profusely, eager to show off their strength and dedication. “Rodriguez, does that look thirty feet from the shed?”
The young man stood up and wiped his brow as he tried to calculate the firebreak from the shed.
“I guess?” he called.
“Twenty, at best,” Cade said. “Alright, let’s break. Grab some water and meet me back here.”
He was grateful to the captain for letting him lead and instruct firebreak training, but he was rusty. It had been a long time since he’d tried to herd together a crew that he didn’t know.
It didn’t help that this particular crew didn’t know who the hell he was.
Hell, some of them probably think I’m that guy who’s on payroll and doesn’t do jack shit but talk to some shrink about my “feelings.”
As the men gathered around him, Nalgene bottles in hand, he gestured for them to stoop down.
“Next drill, this is going to be a slope over twenty percent,” he said. “So what does that mean?”
They looked at each other, unsure.
“Means the defensible closed-in space is extended to one hundred feet,” Elijah said as he sauntered up to the group.
“What he said,” Rodriguez piped up.
Cade sighed. “Yeah. Thanks for that, Elijah.”
“Unless, you know, we’re talking about California chaparral,” Elijah added as he showed off. “And the slope is still over twenty percent. Then it’s two hundred feet.”
“Yeah, yeah, we got it,” Cade said. “Are you in this training session?”
“Nope, don’t need to be.”
“Alright guys, that’s it for today. Thanks, good work.”
They dispersed quietly and Elijah clapped Cade on the back.
“Captain got you working hard, huh?” he asked.
“I asked for it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I asked him if I could be involved. Somehow, anyhow, and this is what I got.”
“Damn, dude. That’s rough. Most of us can’t wait to get out of training the fire virgins.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t know this is what he’d give me. When Crane told me, it was all I could do to not roll my eyes. But now that I’m here… I don’t know, man. I
’m actually enjoying it.”
“For real?”
“Yeah. Being with the new guys—or crew, I guess I should say. Shit, Horst hates it when I call her a guy. But you know, it’s better than nothing. It’s better than being stuck in an office with that doctor while he tries to piece together what the hell’s wrong with me.”
“So the new recruits are alright?” Elijah asked. “If I’m honest, I haven’t gotten to know them.”
“They’re actually pretty awesome,” Cade said. “Seeing that excitement again? How hard they work? I miss that. I remember that.”
“Hey, you saying we’re old? Jaded?”
“You, maybe. I didn’t say we,” Cade said with a wink. “But nah, honestly I’m surprised by how much I like teaching them.”
“Whatever you say, Professor Charles. My shift’s up in an hour, wanna go for a beer then?”
Cade shrugged. “Maybe. Two of the recruits are up then too, and I told them I’d go over—”
“Shit, dude, you’re not their babysitter.”
Cade laughed. “I know that. But there’s something about their dedication that’s addictive, you know? It’s renewed my own interest in the whole game. Like new growth after a fire’s made a landscape barren.”
“Whoa. That’s like, some Robert Frost shit right there.”
The two of them walked toward the firehouse from the practice area. Cade watched as the four new recruits huddled together and stared at Rodriguez’s phone.
They burst out laughing en masse, and even from a distance Cade could hear the music from a popular meme featuring a firehouse Dalmatian that had made recent rounds.
“Were we ever that green?” he asked Elijah.
“I dunno, man. They’re pretty helpless, though. I guess that innocence is kind of sweet. Hey, you remember that first month we were here? And my dad ordered—”
“—the wrong gear for the event at the fair?” Cade finished with a laugh. “Yeah, I remember.”
Elijah shook his head. “His first time ordering online instead of calling it in, and what does he do? Somehow orders his whole crew bright pink everything. Shit, I can still remember the looks we got at that event.”
“The girls loved it, though,” Cade reminded him. “Remember they kept telling us how ‘cute’ we looked? And you stole that rodeo saying—”
“Real men are tough enough to wear pink? Fuck yeah, I stole it,” Elijah said. “Think I told some girl I was trying to hook up with that we were doing it as part of breast cancer awareness, too. I thought for sure that was going to work, until she told me both she and her mom had breast cancer.”
“Oh, shit,” Cade said. “I didn’t know that. But wouldn’t that work in your favor? I mean, if she thought you were supporting breast cancer—”
“I don’t know, dude. I felt kind of bad about lying then. And then I started to think, well, what if she doesn’t have any tits, you know?”
Cade burst out laughing. “I mean … couldn’t you tell?”
“Hell, by then I didn’t want to just blatantly stare at her chest. I mean, I think she had them? But what if they were fake?”
“That’s never stopped you before.”
“True. But what can I say? I’m a purist. I like ‘em natural.”
“Hey! There you guys are.”
Cade looked up and saw Lily as she approached from the firehouse. In her work clothes, black slacks and a white blouse, she was covered in flour dust.
“The hell happened to you?” Elijah asked. “You know you’re supposed to get the cake mix inside the bowl, right?”
“Ha ha,” Lily said with an eye roll.
Cade bit his lip. How is it possible that even covered in flour, she still looks this sexy?
“I came by to see if you guys are interested in getting coffee.”
“I’m still on shift another hour,” Elijah said. He punched Cade lightly on the shoulder. “But Cade is free. He’s been relieved from babysitting duties.”
“Babysitting?” Lily asked, confused.
“Nothing,” Cade said as he glared at Elijah.
Lily made a face. “Actually, I’m—”
“Oh, come on, Lil,” Elijah said. “Why you gotta always be so unfriendly? You really miss hanging out with your big brother that much? Go on, consider Cade my stand-in.”
Cade watched as Lily’s face grew even more sour, and tried not to laugh.
“Your brother’s right, I’m not that bad,” he said.
“Shit, I gotta go,” Elijah said. “I forgot, Crane wants to meet with me about something, and if I’m even a minute late he’ll tar and feather my ass.” Elijah ran toward the firehouse and left Cade with Lily.
“How about a grown-up drink instead?” Cade asked. “I could use something a little harder than coffee.”
Lily scowled, but grabbed his arm and pulled him around the side of the building to the parking lot.
“Have you literally forgotten what happened a couple days ago?” she asked, teeth clenched. “Or is it that you think I’ve forgotten how you shut me down after we banged?”
“Jesus, Lily, calm down,” he said. “You know your brother could walk around the corner any second? And no, I haven’t forgotten. Believe me. And I’m sorry that I froze you out. Okay?”
She probed his eyes.
“It isn’t enough to just be sorry,” she said. “It’s not like this is a one-time screwup on your part. Our part.”
“I’m really sorry. I just … you know that we can’t be a thing. You know that.”
Lily sighed.
“And yet, here you are, inviting me out for ‘something harder than coffee.’ What the hell kind of message are you trying to send? You know, I didn’t come here to ask you out. I came to hang out with Elijah because he’s freaking never home anymore with these shifts he’s been working. So if you think this is some kind of ploy I’ve cooked up just to see you, you’ve got a serious ego—”
“Hey! Calm down.” Cade ran his hand through his hair and let out a frustrated growl.
“I’m sorry to make things so impossible for you,” Lily said. “It must be really hard.”
She turned to walk away, and he saw the smear of a flour handprint on her ass where she must have wiped away the dust at the bakery.
Cade couldn’t help himself. He grabbed her by the waist and whirled her around. With her pressed against his chest, he leaned down.
“You don’t have the slightest idea, Lily. You don’t know how much I crave you. It—fuck, it keeps me awake at night. You’re in the back of my mind all the goddamned time. If I could have you without Elijah freaking out, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
He watched Lily’s gaze travel to his mouth. It was clear what she wanted. What he wanted. Lily tilted her head up, an invitation he couldn’t resist.
Cade lowered his lips to hers, and the taste was familiar, intoxicating. He couldn’t get enough of her.
You can’t do this. You know one taste won’t be enough. But her mouth was sweet as honey…
“Hey. Hey! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Cade pulled away from Lily at the sound of Aiden’s voice in the distance. In sync, he turned with Lily toward the parking lot as Aiden slammed the door of his truck shut. He stormed toward them as his gear bag trailed on the pavement behind him.
“Aiden, I can—”
“Shut the fuck up,” Aiden growled as he approached.
“Aiden—” Lily started.
“Lily, I swear to God,” Aiden said. His voice shook, the rage below barely contained. “You do not want to test me right now.”
“Aiden, it was nothing—” Cade broke in.
But before he could continue, come up with some kind of excuse, pain raced through his jaw. It was so acute, so sudden, that it didn’t register as real pain but instead just paralyzing shock.
He realized Aiden had punched him, and somehow the asphalt clawed into his cheek.
“Aiden!” Lily screamed, somewh
ere far away.
He felt fists as they battered his chest, and one solid punch into his throat that stole the breath from him. Cade tried to look up, tried to explain to Aiden, to say he was sorry, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“Aiden, stop!” he heard Lily scream.
Overhead, she eclipsed the sun that blinded him. He watched as she inserted herself between him and Aiden.
Lily, move, he wanted to say, but all he could do was try and curl into the fetal position. There was no way he’d hit Aiden back.
You deserve this. Just stay down and take it.
“Stop it!” she yelled. He could hear the tears in her voice.
“Fine,” Aiden said finally. Cade could feel the warm trickle of blood from his nose and mouth. “I’ll stop. For now. But you’re coming with me, Lily.”
Cade squinted upward as Aiden glared down at him.
“And you,” Aiden said to Cade as he leaned down. “You just wait until Elijah hears about this.”
“Aiden—” Cade choked out, but his voice was cracked.
Aiden stormed off with Lily gripped by the arm.
You’re a fucking idiot for kissing her. And in such a public space—at the fucking firehouse.
Cade craned his neck and tried to see the entrance to the firehouse. But all he could make out were the new recruits, silent and shocked as Aiden dragged Lily toward the firehouse. Their mouths were open and they took a step back as Aiden charged forward.
“Elijah!” he could hear Aiden yell. “Where the hell are you?”
16
Lily
Cade heard a flurry of knocks at his door and knew it was Lily. He picked up the ice pack he’d held to his face all morning and pressed it to his jaw.
“Are your brothers around?” he asked when he opened the door.
Lily’s eyes grew wide.
“Oh my God,” she said. “It’s bad.”
“Thanks.”
Cade knew he looked pretty rough, but seeing Lily made him feel instantly better. It didn’t hurt that she was also in a skintight racerback tank, a thin scarf, and jeans that were so worn through they were about to fall apart.
