by Tasha Black
It wasn’t the same, and they both knew it. He paused, hoping she would acknowledge this.
“Kirk, this could put you and your brothers at risk,” she said. “And it will end my dream of having a life outside of the world of science fiction.”
“This will end your dreams?” he asked, looking back down at the photograph and thinking how strange it was that their dreams could be so at odds.
“Yes,” Kate replied, placing her hand on his.
He handed her back the phone.
“I can’t leave you without protection,” he told her. “I’ll stay with you until someone else comes.”
“And then what?” she asked.
“My brothers and I can leave immediately,” he said.
“Don’t do that,” she told him. “You can stay with me until you figure out what’s next.”
“We will not impose on you,” he said. “We can find other lodgings quickly once you have protection.”
She swallowed hard.
He wished he could see her eyes. But her expression was impenetrable behind the dark sunglasses.
She began tapping into her cell phone so quickly he wondered if she could be forming actual words.
A moment later it buzzed back at her and she nodded, satisfied.
“Shall we?” he asked, indicating the sidewalk.
But her phone buzzed again.
She looked down at it and smiled.
“Perfect,” she cried, looking greatly relieved.
“What is it?” he asked. Surely the manager couldn’t have found another bodyguard so quickly.
“Cecily says that Solo will act as my bodyguard today,” she said. “You can help her at her booth. That way we won’t be seen together again.”
It was a smart plan. But it still stung to hear her excited about it.
“Guys,” a familiar voice shouted from behind them.
The others had caught up.
“Thanks so much,” Kate said to Solo immediately. “I really appreciate your help.”
“It is my pleasure,” Solo said stiffly.
Jealousy exploded through Kirk’s chest like a wind storm on Aerie in the bright star season. He had never experienced such an emotion. It felt like he was dying.
And Solo did not care for Kate. Kirk should not feel jealous.
Kirk was perplexed by both the intensity and irrationality of his feelings.
He watched as Solo accompanied Kate down the sidewalk, Cecily and Beatrix following and whispering animatedly.
“This is difficult for you, brother,” Buck said, putting an arm over Kirk’s shoulder in a friendly way.
“Yes,” Kirk agreed.
“But she is your mate,” Buck said.
“I am not sure that she will ever believe it,” Kirk admitted.
A woman walking the other direction did a double take at the sight of them.
Buck winked at her.
Kirk elbowed him.
“What?” Buck asked. “We were built to bring them joy.”
“Now that I have tasted jealousy I would not wish it on Beatrix,” Kirk grumbled.
“Perhaps a little jealousy would do her good,” Buck said with a grin.
“You can’t mean that,” Kirk said.
“If the movies have taught me anything about women, it’s that you have three choices when it comes to making things right with them,” Buck said.
“I’m listening,” Kirk said.
“Number one - they love flowers,” Buck said.
Kirk thought of Spencer’s flowers and shuddered.
“I don’t think that’s always true,” he said. “What else?”
“Number two - make them jealous,” Buck said. “If another woman notices your good qualities maybe she will too.”
That was unacceptable to Kirk.
“And number three?” he asked.
“Ah, that’s the hard one,” Buck said, shaking his head. “Number three is giving them space.”
“Like what we traveled through to get here?”
“No, brother. Not like that.” Buck said with grin. Kirk didn’t see what could possibly be funny.
“Like a room or an apartment, then?” Kirk asked. He did not know how much space cost, but he was sure he could not afford anything nearly as luxurious as what she had already.
“No, no, like space between you,” Buck explained. “Removing yourself from the situation and letting her have time alone to sit in front of a rainy window and think things through. And hoping that she decides that she would be better off with you than without.”
“That is difficult,” Kirk allowed.
He thought about what Kate had just told him.
What she was asking for was exactly this - space, distance between them - the one thing that would hurt him most.
But if she asked it, it was imperative that he give it to her. If he didn’t, he was no better than Spencer Carson.
And as much as he resented Solo sharing time with her, he knew his brother would keep her safe.
“I will give her space,” he said.
“Oh, my brother,” Buck said sympathetically, squeezing his arm around him more tightly. “I will try to help you pass the time.”
They had arrived at the Convention Center.
Kate looked over her shoulder at him before going inside with Solo. Kirk imagined that her eyes were sad, even though he couldn’t see them.
His heart ached, but he only nodded at her and watched her disappear. He had no wish to make this any harder for her.
19
Kate
Kate entered the convention center feeling unmoored.
Solo walked beside her, eyes roving over the crowds as if he expected someone to try to pick her off at any moment. Somehow, his vigilance was not as comforting as having Kirk by her side, even though he still turned as many heads.
On paper, Solo was exceptionally handsome with his cool expression and long, lean body.
But he lacked Kirk’s dancing gray eyes and the warm smile that made him out-of-the-ball-park gorgeous to Kate.
Chin up, you’re doing the right thing, her inner businesswoman said.
But it didn’t feel right.
She buttoned her lip and made her way through security with Solo.
“Now what?” Solo asked as they entered the main hall.
“I’ve got to go to the green room and change into my costume,” Kate said.
He nodded and stayed close as she slipped past the booths and out into the hallway with the circles on the carpet.
“This carpet is nonsensical,” Solo said.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Patterns in floor coverings often signify social status, tell the story of a great cultural myth, or even offer building directions,” Solo pointed out. “This pattern is nothing but meaningless shapes.”
“I never thought of that,” Kate said.
“Neither did the person who designed the hallway,” Solo scoffed.
They continued to the green room without further conversation. Kate changed clothes and they made their way back down the hallway to the main hall in silence. Just before they reached the door, Solo paused.
“I hope I did not cause offense with my remarks about the carpet,” he said.
“What? Oh. No, not at all,” Kate said.
“I’m a bit on edge,” he said.
“I’m so sorry,” she replied. “I don’t think Spencer would actually attack physically.”
“No, it’s not that,” Solo said, looking uncharacteristically uncomfortable. “It’s Cecily. I… I don’t feel right being far from her.”
Wow. Kate had picked up on the vibe between Beatrix and Buck, but she’d had no idea that Solo and Cecily were bonding.
“I’m so sorry,” she told him.
“No, it’s fine,” he said at once. “Everything is as it must be. I am happy to know you better.”
“That’s so sweet,” Kate said, feeling suddenly sympathetic to he
r formal new friend. “I’m happy to know you better too. Now let’s get in there and greet some fans.”
The meet and greet got underway, and she made it through the day without anything unusual happening.
Spencer never showed up, and although that should have made her feel better, it left her with an off-center feeling of anticipation all day, like arm hair lifting before a lightning strike.
On the other hand, the more hours that passed without seeing Kirk, the more she felt an impending sense of loss.
The fans were great though, helping to pull her out of herself.
When one or two asked about her boyfriend, she’d simply said she wasn’t seeing anyone. And although there were some raised eyebrows, no one argued.
Solo stood behind her, in a proper bodyguard manner. During their breaks, he gave her space in the green room while the other women who came in and out flirted with him shamelessly.
To Solo’s credit, he did not seem to even notice their advances, but rather engaged with them in an earnest and polite way that made it easier for Kate to understand why Cecily was becoming fond of him.
Solo offered to accompany her someplace for lunch, but he looked relieved when she told him she wanted to rest and urged him to go check in on Cecily.
“Just for a few minutes on the way back from retrieving our meals,” he assured her.
“Take your time,” she told him. “I’ll probably just nap.”
But as soon as he left, Beatrix arrived with two paper cones of bright pink cotton candy.
“Where’s Buck?” Kate asked.
“What the hell?” Beatrix said. “I hang out with the guy for like twenty-four hours and now we’re supposed to be joined at the hip?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” Kate wavered.
“Kidding,” Beatrix said. “I’m totally messing with you. He’s having fun out there. When I saw Solo go past I thought I’d sneak in here and see how you were doing. Any trouble today?”
“Spencer doesn’t seem to be here, if that’s what you mean,” Kate said.
“It’s not, but that’s good news,” Bea said.
“Fans are asking about the guy from the pictures, but they’re not giving me any grief when I say he was a bodyguard,” Kate said.
“Good.” Beatrix nodded.
“You’re here to see if I’m okay about Kirk, huh?” Kate asked.
“Houston, we have lift-off,” Bea said with a smile.
Kate pulled off a tuft of cotton candy and put it in her mouth. The sweetness melted away in an instant.
“I thought it was just an attraction,” Kate said. “But I kind of miss him today.”
“Yeah?” Beatrix asked, popping a big fluff of cotton candy in her mouth.
“How’s he doing out there?” Kate asked.
Beatrix shrugged. “Cecily is trying to keep him entertained. Her minions are flirting with him to beat the band. But he’s got kind of a hangdog look.”
Kate felt a little guilty about the relief that surged through her.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said. “But I know I’m doing the right thing - for both of us. He can’t get found out, or he’ll bring trouble on his whole family. And any hope I have of leaving Suspended in Space behind would be over if I were publicly dating an alien.”
“I’ve never understood that,” Bea said thoughtfully.
“What?” Kate asked.
“Most actors would trade anything to be a household name,” Bea said. “Why do you want to leave it behind so badly?”
“Because I want to make a difference,” Kate said. “I don’t want the world to see me as a gawky teenager forever.”
Bea shrugged and plucked off another tuft of cotton candy.
“Have you heard from the studio yet?” Kate asked, eager to change the subject.
“Yeah,” Beatrix said glumly.
“What now?” Kate asked.
Beatrix’s break-out graphic novel had been a hair’s breadth away from a movie deal for months. But the studio always seemed to want one more assurance that it would be a success.
“I got the investors they wanted,” Bea said. “Now they want a star attached.”
“Isn’t casting their job?” Kate asked.
“You would think so,” Beatrix said. “But I’m learning that nothing in Hollywood is that easy. They want a star behind it and one who is willing to work for SAG minimum to make it happen.”
There was a tap on the door.
“Kate, it is me, Solo,” came a loud whisper. “Are you awake?”
Beatrix snickered.
Kate elbowed her.
“Come in,” she called to Solo.
“I’ve gotta go before Buck gets into trouble,” Beatrix said. “Text me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Bea,” Kate said, wrapping her arms around her roommate in an impulsive hug.
Bea hugged her back, then quickly scooted out the door as Solo was coming in.
“I’ll tell Kirk you said ‘hi’,” Beatrix called over her shoulder as the door shut behind her.
Kate shook her head. She didn’t want to encourage Kirk, but there was something nice about knowing Bea would try and cheer him up.
“I did not know enough of your dietary habits to discern which you would choose.” Solo said, laying out wax paper packages along the make-up counter. “So I brought eight sandwiches for you to examine.”
“If anything ever happens to Carol, I’ll know who to call in for the celebrity treatment,” Kate said with a smile.
“I do not know what this means,” Solo replied.
“It means thank you for the sandwiches,” Kate told him gently. “I’m glad you’re here.”
20
Kirk
Kirk sat obediently at Cecily’s booth while she ran to grab lunch.
The items in the booth were very interesting. Cecily made masks and prosthetic attachments that could transform a human into all manner of fantastical creature, from a fairy to a zombie, or even an alien - although the human imagining of aliens was unlike anything Kirk had ever encountered.
Her makeup area held bowls of tiny scales and shimmering jewels in addition to pots of creams and potions in every color imaginable.
A display of photographs hung along the back of the booth. Most were black and white shots of actors wearing her creations. He had asked her why the photographs weren’t in color when her creations certainly were, and she had shrugged and told him it was tradition.
He hadn’t had time to ask many more questions. The booth was busy nearly every moment, either with fans wanting to buy a signed copy of her memoir Make-up Sex, or with actors from different films and televisions shows she had worked on stopping by to visit.
Kirk had discussed human behavior with Dr. Bhimani back at the lab. He was fascinated by how differently the people of Earth interacted with their world.
By Dr. Bhimani’s estimation, he was pretty sure Kate would be described as an introvert, in spite of the fact that she spent so much time interacting with so many people.
Cecily, on the other hand, seemed to grow more energetic the more people she talked with. The Con didn’t seem to exhaust her the way it did Kate - instead, it appeared to fuel her.
Kirk admired her extrovert strength, but secretly preferred Kate’s quieter demeanor, which was more like his own.
The day passed slowly, as every woman’s smile made him think of Kate. He missed her horribly, which made little sense as he had only met her a few days before.
He was amazed to find that his sadness was not merely a state of mind, but also a physical affliction, causing him a tightness in his chest and a hollow feeling in his stomach.
Though he had felt moments of regret on Aerie, he had never felt this way, turned inside out with grief, and he wondered if the emotions were part of the physical body.
Inwardly though, he knew it wasn’t true.
He had chosen Kate as his mate.
And she had rejected him.
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He should be torn apart with sadness. He would never know human happiness now, never click into his human form for good.
Dr. Bhimani had explained to him that humans could lose a lover and find happiness again one day. But he knew instinctively that this wasn’t true for his race. Kirk and his brothers had a single choice, a single chance.
His only hope now was that Kate might change her mind.
Though it was hard for him to wish for that, if he used his head instead of his heart.
She was right - if it came out that he was an alien, things would go badly for everyone back at the lab in Stargazer.
And beyond that, if being mated to him meant she had to abandon her own dreams, then he was willing to live with this sadness and let her go.
He hoped that if he made himself useful to the gentle inhabitants of this planet, he could have a worthwhile life, even if it was a lonely one.
Assuming his other brothers were successful enough to convince the rulers of Aerie that the Earth was worth keeping intact.
The downside now was that while he had felt useful guarding Kate, he was completely useless at Cecily’s booth. He could see how Solo had been a help setting up all the various items that were heavy and too high for her to reach, but at this point she could handle everything herself.
“Hey, Kirk,” Cecily said, handing him a white paper bag. “There’s a turkey sandwich in there and a Coke.”
“Thank you, Cecily,” Kirk said politely. “Do you need my help this afternoon?”
“Not really,” she admitted. “Though my fans definitely appreciate your company.”
Kirk laughed.
“No, I’m fine,” she said. “Go explore the Con or do whatever you want. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Cecily,” he said. “I’ll check in with you in a while in case you need me later.”
He waved to her and headed out, bag in hand, to check in on Kate.
Her line was closed, as he had expected. She was likely on her lunch break too.
He headed out the paneled door and down the hallway to the green room.
Light streamed in the windows and he caught his breath at the beauty of the city skyline. It filled him with wonder to think that in each room of all those buildings were people, minds filled with the complicated beauty and pain of life on this mysterious planet.
