by Cassie May
“Out, I was out. I don’t have to tell you where I am every minute of the day. Tell me what’s going on. Why didn’t you call?”
Sighing Federico pours himself a shot in the tumbler in his hand. “It is because of Clara.” Raising one eyebrow I sit down in the chair next to my brother. “She is bitching because of the party tomorrow. You know her, she wants the luxury that comes from our business, but she hates the Family. I don’t know what I have seen in her for the first place.”
Crossing my arms in front of my chest I look at my miserable brother. “I told you, she is a bitch from the beginning. No one knew what you wanted from her and I am sorry to say that, but you are stuck with her. You can’t divorce her, brother. The Family would never allow this.”
Federico nods. “Yeah, I am stuck with her, I know. The only thing that makes it tolerable is the fact that I don’t have to see her naked anymore. That stuck up bitch refuses to do her marital duties for a while now.” He sips his whiskey and looks at me for the first time since I entered my condo. “What about you? You look different, somehow relaxed. Have you solved the problems with the fraud in the clubs already?”
“Not completely, but I am close to finding the bastard and I am bringing a date tomorrow.”
Federico coughs the rest of his whisky on the floor and even Luca can’t hide his snort. “You. What?”
“I am bringing a date tomorrow. She would be alone on Christmas otherwise and I wanted to make her smile. No one should be alone on Christmas, don’t you think?” I smirk when I see the stunned faces of Luca and Federico. “Yeah, you don’t have to answer that question.”
Chapter 2
Valerie
After closing the door I slump down on the floor shaking like a leaf. I need something to eat. Rushing to the kitchen I open the fridge and look inside. Grabbing the leftover Mac & Cheese from yesterday I shove it in my mouth with a big spoon. After finishing the pot I rinse it in the sink and make my way over to the pantry to find something sweet to calm my nerves that are still jiggling like crazy.
Half an hour later I awake from my haze and look around. Empty chocolate papers, bags of chips and cookies are spread around me. Gasping I realize that I have once more lost the battle against myself. My stomach clenches painfully at the sight of all that junk food and I jump up and rush to the toilet. “Fuck!” Tears well up in my eyes while I am bend over the toilet and empty my stomach a second time today.
When I am able to lift my head without spilling vomit all over the place I hear someone opening the door. Stumbling steps enter the house and then I hear the familiar slurred voice of my roomie. “Val? Are you here, yet? What happened?”
“I am here…” My voice sounds hoarse and Jess stumbles around the corner. She looks terrible. Her make up is smeared all over her face, her clothes are crumpled and her tights are torn and have big holes in them. Her eyes widen when she sees me on the cold tile floor and she stumbles toward me.
“Val, what happened?” She sounds and looks like shit, yet she manages to worry about me. Her kindness makes new tears rise in my eyes.
“And what happened to you? Has somebody hurt you?” She shakes her head and grabs a washcloth.
After soaking it in water and pressing it in my neck she wraps her arm around me. “Nope, no one hurt me. Just the usual, Val. You know me. I drink too much and hook up with a random guy. Well, tonight there were three guys and they liked it a little bit more rough. It took me a while to regenerate and I think I am still a little bit drunk.”
That makes the corners of my mouth lift. “You think? I could still get drunk from the smell that comes out of your mouth.”
She gives me a playful shove and grins. “Bitch.” The sudden movement makes the bile rise again in my stomach and I bend over the toilet again. After emptying the last bit of the Mac & Cheese I try to force the tears down that are streaming down my face.
Jess rubs my back in soothing circles. “Shhh… What happened today, Val? You were doing so good. It has been three weeks since the last time you gave in.”
“Twenty-Five days, Jess and I had a really shitty day. That happened.” My best friend nods and pushes herself off the floor. After helping me up she presses the wet cloth in my hand.
“I am going to make some tea after I take a shower. You should take one, too. After that we meet in the living room with Channing and you tell me what happened.”
“But…” She lifts her hand and pushes me upstairs.
“No but, girlfriend. Something happened. Something really bad or you wouldn’t have caved. I want to know what, so that I can help you.” She sounds determined and in times like these I hate that she is majoring in psychology. She sees way too much in other people. Just her own problems stay buried. Buried so deep that the person that really wants to help her out is going to need a power shovel to dig out every problem she has. Her solution to solve them is to swallow them down with booze and try to forget about them with sex. But who am I to judge her? After all I am eating my problems just to vomit them out afterwards.
Without another word we both shuffle upstairs in our rooms. When I am standing under the hot shower the water melts my tensions away and makes my tears come back. Sobbing I am sinking on the floor and let the water pound on me. Wrapping my arms around my legs I lay my head on my knees and stay in the shower till the water turns cold and I hear Jess hollering from downstairs.
“Come on, your tea is getting cold, lazy ass!”
Wrapping myself in my comfy robe I yell back. “Coming! Don’t stress me, bitch!”
I rush downstairs and grab the mug that is waiting for me on the kitchen table. I don’t see any wrapping paper from my binge eating flash from before and exhale. “I cleaned your junk up. You don’t have to thank me, I know what it does with you if you see the remains of your… you know what I mean.” Jess trails off and I nod.
“Thank you anyway. You truly are my best friend.”
“Never forget that, girl.” She winks at me and pulls me toward the couch. “Now spill and then we’ll watch some yummie guys on Netflix.”
Taking a deep breath I sip the slightly bitter herbal tea and avoid looking at my friend. “The barbies were in the bakery again, today. They… they said awful things to me and then there was this guy, he stood up for me and it went really ugly. I sort of flipped out and had another episode. I ate nearly a whole batch of cream filled pastries and, well you can imagine what happened then. The guy, he came in the kitchen after he made them leave. He comforted me. He found me bend over the toilet and comforted me, because he thought I had a stomach bug. I couldn’t tell him. He was so nice, so strong, Jess, he invited me over for a Christmas dinner tomorrow. Can you imagine that?” Finally I lift my eyes to look at her. Her blue eyes are wide and she opens and closes her mouth without saying a word.
Her next words are only a whisper. “Oh my god. What did you answer him?”
“There was not much asking from his side. He merely told me that no one should be alone on Christmas and that I don’t get to choose, because he drove me home afterwards and now I can’t escape him.”
“Wow, is he hot? He sounds all hot and growly alpha male. He must be hot. Is he?” I shrug. I don’t want to think about Matteo’s good looks or the kiss that still burns on my cheek. I feel Jess staring at me. “Oh. My. Gawd. There is more between you two, you are blushing!”
“He kissed me when we were standing in front of the door.”
“Are you shitting me? Why were you bend over the toilet then? He sounds awesome!”
“I… I don’t know what I should do. You know what happened with the last guy I trusted. The outcome was horrible and…” I hesitate. Can I tell my best friend what I know about Matteo? Is she going to be in danger? She squeezes my hand and I come to a decision. “Matteo is part of the Mob.”
Jess spits her tea all over our floor. “Fuck. Me! He told you that?”
Snorting I shake my head. “Not really. His name is Matteo Luciano and I gues
sed it. He never denied it and now I have to go to a Mob party tomorrow. What if I say something wrong and I raise some kind of blood oath between his family and someone else? What if someone finds out that he knows me and comes to us? Oh my god. What have I done? Why couldn’t I say no to his invitation? This is so fucked up! We are going to be in danger, maybe we will die, because I can’t say no!”
Jess grabs my hands and presses them affectionately. “Take a deep breath, Val. He took care of you, didn’t he? He defended you against those awful bitches and drove you home. He kissed you. Do you really think he would’ve invited you if it would be dangerous? Maybe he doesn’t know that you have a roommate, but he can’t expect you to not tell anybody where you are going tomorrow. I know where you are and if I don’t hear anything from you till the morning I am going to call the police, okay? You have nothing to worry about, do you hear me?” Jess sounds concerned and strokes my hands in a calming gesture.
“But what is he seeing in me? I am a nobody, Jess. I have a small bakery and more problems than any man could want. Especially this man. You were right, Jess. He is hot. Hot with a capital H and I know that I can’t keep up with him. Not now, not tomorrow, not anytime in the future.” I can’t seem to stop my rambling and I see a small smile playing around Jess’ lips.
“Stop. Stop right now! You are a gorgeous woman and I know exactly what he sees in you. You are twenty-five and already owning a good going bakery. You have a body that is to die for, though you never seem to see how many men are watching you when we are going out. You. Are. Beautiful. And it is time for you to finally realize that you finally deserve something good, do you understand me?”
Snorting I shoot her a glare. “What, you mean like you deserve more than a string of random fucks?” A shadow rushes over her face and I see her walls going up immediately. Fuck. I am really an asshole Jess is the only one that is still with me and now I have hurt her far worse than I am hurting. She hates to be called out, especially on this topic. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like this. I am sorry.”
Jess’ walls are still up and I know I have lost her for the evening. I should’ve known better than calling her out on her bullshit, but this is new for me. I don’t have men chasing me, no matter what Jess says. Shaking her head she stands up. “It’s okay, I think I am going to bed. It was a long night and I need to rest. Good night, Val.”
Fuck. This is bad. “Jess, please don’t do that now. I am sorry for what I have said. Don’t be mad at me, please.” I feel the tears in my eyes and blink them away. “You are my only friend and I need you, Jess. I just think you could do better as well. You deserve happiness, Jess, no matter what happened to you. It was not your fault and what he did was wrong, so wrong. Please. Stay with me.”
Her face softens and she slumps down next to me again. “Shut up, Val. Please just shut up. I know where you come from, but please just accept my help. You cannot help me, no one can. Just let me handle my problems on my own. You have enough on your platter already.” Her voice is a hoarse whisper and she seems on the verge of tears. “I know you want to help me, too, but it is just going up for you. You met this hot guy who wants you to be his date for his family’s Christmas party. Just go with the flow of your life now. I know I can come to you if I am ready to accept your help, but this is not right now. Maybe it is not ever, but believe me. Only the thought that you would help me makes me stronger. Thank you, Val.” Now the tears are flowing and I wrap my arms around her.
“It is okay, Jess. I am going to back off. I will never mention it again. I love you.”
She swallows hard. “Love you, too. Sorry I am such a drama queen.”
“It’s not a problem. Come on, I think Magic Mike has to wait for another time. We need to go to bed.” Jess just nods and that is my clue that she is really tired. I drag her upstairs to our bedrooms and drag her in my room with me. We cuddle together on my king size bed like frightened children afraid that our fears are going to get to us in the night. “I love you, bestie.” I whisper in the darkness and feel Jess hugging me tighter.
“I love you, too, Val.” With that I close my eyes and will the sleep to come.
Chapter 3
Valerie
The next day I am standing in my room and it looks as if a bomb has exploded in my closet. I am already showered and currently wearing a fluffy robe while searching for something I can wear for a family party. Finally I give up. “Jess? I need your help right now!”
She comes running in my room when she hears my panicked voice and raises her eyebrows. “Wow, desperate much? Where’s the fire?”
“I don’t have anything to wear, Jess. I want to look good, but not too eager. I mean it is a family dinner after all.” My eyes widen when I realize something. “Oh my god. La famiglia. Jess he didn’t mean his family. He meant the mob. I can’t go there. No way. This is too much. I don’t care how hot he is. Or that he helped me against the bitches. I can’t go to a mob party.” I feel the panic rising in me again and start hyperventilating. Jess is immediately right by my side and holds my face in her hands.
“Val, look at me. Look at me and take a deep breath. In. Hold. And out. You can do that. He won’t endanger you. This is the mob, not some satanic cult, you know? I know where you are. You are going to send me your location as soon as you arrive there.” I have calmed down a little and nod to everything she says. Smiling she pushes a red wrap-dress in my hands. “That’s my girl. You are going to wear this one. It looks great on you and you won’t be overdressed. Believe me. Now you are going to take this on, paint your face and I am going to clean up your mess a little.”
“Thanks, Jess. You know I love you, do you?”
She just laughs and begins to pick up my clothes. “Of course you love me. What’s not to love here?” She motions up and down her body and I can’t hide my grin. She is awesome and the best friend a girl can wish for.
In the bathroom I step out of my robe, massage my body lotion in my skin and wrap the dress around my body. Starting with my eyes I apply the make up so that they look big and shiny. My lips get a red color that matches the dress. Finally I spray my perfume on my neck and step out of the bathroom in a now clean room and towards a smiling Jess who motions for me to turn around.
“You look stunning, girl and I am sure Matteo will think the same. When’s he coming?”
Taking on some jewelry I look at my watch. “Any minute. He told me he would pick me up at six.” It is five minutes to six and I feel the nervousness rising again. Jess grabs my hand and squeezes it affectionately.
“Everything will be good.” Taking a deep breath I nod and we both go downstairs when the doorbell chimes. “Oh my god, here we goooo.” Jess singsongs and skips to the door. She opens the door while I try to get my nerves together.
“Hi, I am looking for Valerie. I thought she was living here.” Matteo’s voice immediately sends shivers down my spine and I step forward.
“Well, she does, handsome. I am just the roommate. I am Jess. Val is ready. Do you want to come in?” She steps aside and Matteo comes in looking even better than yesterday. He wears a dark blue suit with a light blue shirt. His eyes rest on me and a smile curls his lips.
“You look beautiful, cara. Are you ready?”
Nodding I step forward and he grabs my hand. “Can I help you with your coat?”
“Yes, it’s the blue one. Thank you.” He grabs the coat from the rack in the hallway and helps me putting it on. His hands rest on my shoulders and I feel his lips on my neck before he opens the door again and ushers me outside. He opens the door to his sports car for me and helps me inside.
Matteo
I don’t know if it was a great or dumb idea to invite Valerie to the family dinner. Yesterday I couldn’t help myself. Today, with her in the small room of my car, her flowery scent wavering around me I hope it was not a mistake. As the second in command I am the most eligible bachelor in the family and now I am bringing someone from the
outside to this party. The women are going to rip her into pieces and it is all my fault.
“Hey, is everything okay? You don’t seem too eager to get to your family, Matteo.”
Shaking my head I look at the beautiful woman next to me. “How can you say that, cara?”
An amused smile curls her lips. “Well, for starters there is the fact that you haven’t even started the car. Then you haven’t really talked to me since your question if I need help with my coat. I don’t have to come with you, Matteo. I understand that this is awkward now and that I am not really the kind of girl you want your family to meet. I can just stay at home. It is not a problem. I understand that. I am a complete stranger after all.” She starts to open the passenger door and before I can think better I press the button to lock the doors.
“Oh no, cara I promised to take you with me. I just… I begin to realize that it may have been better to go on a date with you first. My family is… well they are not the easiest persons and actually I am a little bit worried that they may scare you away from me.” There. Wasn’t so hard, was it? Why the fuck am I so damn insecure around her? When her caramel colored eyes widen even more I take a deep breath, preparing for the outburst that has to come.
“Are you kidding me? That is your excuse? Matteo, either you want me to come with you or not. It is that easy. If you really want me with you, I come with you no matter how they are going to treat me.” Her eyes sparkle with anger, but she shivers in the cold car.
Taking her cold hands in my warm ones I make her look at me. “Valerie. I want you with me. But you have to promise me, that you go out with me after that. Maybe after the holidays? I want to take you to one of the clubs I co-own.” She hesitates and I see doubts clouding her beautiful eyes. Without waiting for her response I start the car. “It’s okay. I just thought it would be nice to meet again in a more neutral environment after I drag you to the nuthouse today, but I see you don’t want to. I understand that. You don’t know me.” I force a smile on my face and then I hear her soft voice.
