by Cassie May
She shakes her head and a smile curls her lips. “Actually I felt more alive tonight than in a long time. It was scary, yes and for a moment I feared for my life when Clara accused me of all this shit, but then. Feeling you standing up for me again and Federico believing me. It was awesome. I am not used to people believing me anymore. And no one besides Jess stands up for me. Ever.”
“So you still want to go out with me again? Is that what you are saying, because I would totally understand if you don’t want to anymore. I would not hold a grudge. You don’t have to keep your promise.”
She shakes her head and laughs. “Well I have one condition when I go out with you again.”
“Name it and it is yours.” I don’t hesitate. At this point I would do everything to make her go out with me again and make it up to her.
“Please make sure that Clara doesn’t come with you or the people you bring with you. I would like to bring Jess with me and understand if you have to bring your brother or someone else you have to bring, but please not Clara.”
Closing my eyes I feel the relief washing over me. “That is an easy condition. Clara never goes out with us and I will personally make sure that she doesn’t even know about our second date. I don’t think Luca or Rico would even come. They are not very fond of going out.”
She nods and her eyes sparkle with excitement. “So tell me, what clubs do you people own? Where are we going? It has been a damned long time since I was out, but Jess tells me everything about new and old or in clubs here in the city.”
“We own different clubs with different purposes. There is Wrath, where we hold some show MMA fights from time to time, then Vainglory and Sin which are normal clubs and Lust which is a more burlesque kind of bar club. I would take you to Sin, because it is the biggest and I want you to experience everything I have to give you.” Without purpose I let the sexual innuendo lace my words and Valerie blushes fiercely.
“You really do? That means a lot to me, Matteo. Thank you. I think no one really wanted me to experience life since…” She trails off and her eyes cloud over with pain and sorrow.
Wanting to comfort her I squeeze her hand. “Since when, cara?”
“Since my parents died.” Her voice is quiet and I curse myself for forcing her to spill this. She sounds pained and I stop the car on the curbside to give her my full attention.
“I am so sorry, Valerie. I didn’t know. Do you want to talk about it?” She shrugs and turns to me.
“Can you hold me for a second? I need… I think I need to feel something other than the pain.”
Immediately I pull her on my lap and hug her to my chest. Why she feels safe or comforted in my arms I can’t understand, but I don’t question it when she sighs quietly and closes her eyes a lone tear slipping from her eyes. “My parents died years ago in a car crash. They left me the house and a life insurance that paid for my college and made me able to start the bakery. I still have a lot money left, tied in funds. It is enough to let me live a comfortable life for as long as I live, but I wanted to do something. Ever since they left me I felt like I didn’t fit in this world anymore. I had depressions for a long time. Gorged myself on junk food and gained weight. I lost a lot of it after I went to therapy, but I am still not as thin as I was. I always feel as if I let my parents down, because I was too weak to come to terms with their deaths on a normal way.” More tears are streaming down her cheeks and I feel helpless. I never had to comfort a woman and this is twice in two days that I find myself in the position with her.
“Shhh, cara. I am sure your parents wouldn’t be disappointed. I am sure you loved them very much what makes their deaths even harder on you. Everybody grieves in another way. Look at me. The day someone shot my dad I had to step up to be second in command if I wanted it or not. That day changed me. I became cold hearted and didn’t care for anybody besides my brother and my mother. When my mother couldn’t face the changes Rico and I went through she went back to Italy. That day she told me I should not become like my dad. I should keep my humanity and open my heart to someone who is waiting for me to be found. I changed again this day. I fought the bitterness that filled me and tried to give something back to the world. I know it sounds crazy coming from a made man that he wants to do something good when I am selling guns and shit, but I also donate to charities all over New York. It may be hypocritical, but it feels right.” She turns in my arms and looks at me.
With both hands she frames my face and her voice is steady when she begins to talk. “You, Matteo Luciano are the most selfless person I know. You saved me without knowing me yesterday and you saved me again today. I can’t say that I don’t care about the guns or whatever else it is you do, but to me you have only ever been a gentleman. You are a good man.” Her words open something in my chest and it feels as if liquid gold fills it up. It warms me from the inside out and for the first time in forever I believe someone saying these words to me. Before I can say anything I feel her lips on mine in a desperate kiss full of sorrow, pain and hope. Kissing her back I pull her even closer and tangle my hand in her hair. We both fight for the control, pouring our feelings in this kiss as if it would be the last time we see each other. Tongues tangling, teeth clashing and desperately tearing on each other’s clothes to feel even closer. To feel skin on skin, but my car is too small and for a moment I curse the tiny sports car I chose to drive for tonight. I force myself to end the kiss and we both look at each other, panting for air and need in our eyes.
“That was…” I start the same moment Valerie says. “Wow.” After that we both start laughing and she tries to smooth her hair back in place while sliding over to her seat. The tension leaves the car and I put my hand on her thigh.
“Do you feel better now, cara?”
She blushes again and nods. “Much better, thank you. But please, don’t think I wanted to take advantage of you. It just… I was caught in the moment.”
“Don’t worry, cara. I enjoyed it as well if you didn’t notice.” More than I want to admit, so I try to discreetly adjust my rock hard cock, but she notices it anyway and blushes again. “Let me tell you something, cara. I wanted to kiss you from the moment I took my first step into your bakery and saw you.”
Her eyes grow wide and she shakes her head. “But that was months ago, Matteo. I never thought someone like you would give me even a second glance.”
“Cara, look at me.” I wait till she does like I tell her and continue. “I wanted you. I would never lie to you, Valerie. You are beautiful, no matter what you do or think. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I am going to make sure that you see this. Are we clear?”
She bites her bottom lip and nods. “Good, now do you want to go somewhere else? I think I promised you dinner and we haven’t even eaten, yet.”
She shakes her head. “No, thank you. I think I would like to go home now. It was an eventful evening and I have to catch up some sleep. I didn’t sleep very well last night.”
I nod. I think I have lost her with my speech, but I refuse to give up. She is going to need time to understand that I won’t ever let her go again after this kiss. She is mine and I am going to make damned sure that she stays with me.
I stop in front of her house that has still lights on and turn around to her. She chews her bottom lip again and refuses to meet my eyes. Finally she looks up and the uncertainty in her eyes is nearly killing me. “Do you… I mean… Do you want to come in?”
I exhale. She doesn’t want to tell me to go. Thank fuck. “I would love to come in with you, cara.” Her face lights up and I get out of the car to open her door.
Before she can pull out her keys the door is yanked open and her roommate glares at me. “You! I might have been distracted by your good looks earlier, but let me tell you one thing mob boy. If you let that bitch talk to my girl like she did earlier, you will wish that you were never born, do you understand me? Valerie doesn’t need this shit in her life. She already suffered from too much. Do you understand m
e?”
Valerie
I look at my fuming best friend and don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Thanks for that, Jess. There is no way he still wants to come inside now. His soft chuckle surprises me and Jess as well if her stunned face is any indication. “Don’t worry. I think my brother made sure that the bitch never talks to Valerie again and even if she would I am going to make sure that she never hurts her.”
That softens Jess’ features and she steps aside. “Well then, welcome.” She looks at me and I know exactly when she realizes what we have done, because her mouth falls open and she yanks me inside. “You. Me. Kitchen. Now.”
I don’t protest and Matteo’s chuckles follow us till we enter the kitchen and Jess closes the door. “What happened, girl? You look like you have been kissed. And not just kissed, but K I S S E D from someone who knows exactly what he is doing.”
When I nod she squeals in excitement and hugs me. “Tell me everything. When did that happen and why are you here and not with him in a bed or something like this?”
Shaking my head I grab two beers from the fridge and point to the door. “Not now, Jess. I asked him to come in and now he is there alone. I am going to tell you everything tomorrow, promise.”
She nods and a smirk curls her lips. “Do you want me to leave? I can totally sleep in a hotel tonight, if you want me to. You know, the walls are thin in this house.” I grimace when I think how thin these walls really are. In the past I heard more from Jess’ lovers than I care to admit.
“No, nothing like this is going to happen tonight. I am not ready for that. Maybe I never will.” Jess’ eyes soften and she grabs a beer as well.
“Okay, but I am going upstairs and I won’t disturb you two.” I am utterly grateful for her selflessness right now. I know it is going to be awkward with Matteo after Jess’ outburst and I don’t need her to witness all this. She would try to lighten the mood and I can’t have that now. I have to start fighting my own battles. We exit the kitchen and Jess heads upstairs. I go further in the living room where Matteo has waited patiently. I hand him the beer and take a mouthful out ow my own bottle.
I don’t really know what to do. I have never brought a man in this house before. Matteo seems to pick up my nervousness and stands up. “Valerie, what do you expect from me now? I can leave if you are uncomfortable with me being here. You already agreed to a second date and that is more than I hoped for after we left my brothers penthouse. I would be okay with leaving right now.”
I don’t want him to leave. I don’t want this crazy evening to end now, but I am helpless about what to do with him. “I… I don’t want you to leave, Matteo, but I don’t know what to do either. I have never brought a man here before. I… I am not very experienced with men.”
With two big strides he stands next to me and wraps me in his arms. “I didn’t dare to ask you, but I noticed.”
I sense the deeper question he doesn’t dare to ask either. “I am not a virgin, you don’t have to worry about this.”
He chuckles and his arms tighten around me. “I have never been in this situation either, cara, but I let you call the shots. You tell me where you want me. I can stay, we can talk, have sex, whatever you want or need or I can leave and we see each other in a few days at the club.”
I shiver when I think about having sex with him. There is no way I am ready for that step. I don’t want him to see my naked body. I have stretch marks and my breasts sag without a bra. No way he can find this attractive. Nevertheless I want him to stay. In a spur of the moment decision I push him on the couch and snuggle on his lap. “I want to get to know you. The real you. Tell me something about you nobody knows.”
He strokes my hair and laces his fingers through the curly strands. “I am scared of birds. My brother knows that, but he is the only one next to you who knows.” He sounds thoughtful and massages my head with his fingertips. I can barely suppress the moan at how good this feels. “I have a second brother no one knows of. We never talk about him anymore, because he decided to leave the Family to pursue a career as a professional rugby player. I haven’t talked to him or about him for five years now.” His voice is quiet, thoughtful, as if he has completely forgotten that he is with me right now.
“I am sorry, Matteo. That sounds awful. Do you miss him?”
He looks down at me and I get lost for a moment in the depths of his eyes. “I don’t know. He was almost always gone for his training. One day dad demanded that he chooses between his family and the sport. Antonio turned around and left. He never called, never contacted us again, not even when dad was murdered. It nearly killed my mother. I think that was one of the reasons my mother went back to Italy. That and the murder of my dad of course. Those two have been so in love.”
He looks like a lost boy for a moment and I can’t resist. I wrap my arms around him and hug him hard. “I’m so sorry, Matteo. That sounds awful and now you have me putting a strain on your relationship with your remaining brother as well. I’m sorry.”
He frames my face with his hands and I feel his breath on my lips. “Don’t be sorry, cara. Nothing is going to put a strain on the relationship between my brother and me. Everything is okay. There are only two people in this world my brother trusts completely. I am the first and Luca is the second and I can assure you, he already trusts you more than he trusts Clara. I trust you.” And then I feel his lips on mine. This kiss is different than the one we shared in the car. This one is soft, slow and full of promises.
Wrapping my arms around his neck I straddle his lap and immediately feel his hard cock on my hot core. I can’t suppress the moan that escapes my lips and I feel Matteo’s whole body stiffen. He pushes me away and looks suddenly serious. If it wouldn’t be for the hard dick I feel on my pussy I would think he doesn’t want me. “Cara… I never intended for it to go this far tonight. I don’t want you to think I only want one thing from you, because that would be a lie. I want to get to know you more. You have to tell me something no one knows about you.” He winks at me and I have to laugh.
Now way. No way can I tell him my secrets. They are dark, darker than the things he told me. I try to come up with something to distract him. “Would you stay for the night anyway? I like how I feel when you are with me.” Closing my eyes I hope I don’t come across too bold. “We don’t have to… I mean… Have sex… Just… I would love to sleep in your arms tonight. You don’t have to stay. I understand that this is awkward for you. I bet you never had a woman ask you this.” I start to get up from his lap, but he holds me in place.
“Cara, I would like this. You are right, no woman ever asked me to just hold her. And I never had the need to do so but with you everything is different. Special. Let me put you to bed.” He grabs my ass and lifts me up as if I weigh nothing.
Wrapping my arms around his neck I try to protest. “Matteo, I am too heavy. Let me down, please. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“Never, cara. Where’s your room?” I point upstairs and then to the direction of my room. He opens the door without looking and turns around to place me gently on the bed. “Where do you keep your pajamas?” I don’t even try to protest this time. I point only to my drawer and wait for him to give me sleep shorts and a tank top. He points to the bathroom. “I’ll get ready in there. Call me when I can come out again.”
I nod again and he grins. After a quick peck on my lips he disappears in the bathroom and I am still sitting on the bed. What happened? How can someone like me deserve a gentleman like him? The mob or not, I have never met a man like him. Obviously he likes to take care of me, even though I have never given him a reason to hope to take this further. Well, besides the kiss in the car and me nearly offering myself to him on the couch. I feel the heat rising in me when I think back to those moments. This is not usual for me. I don’t have sex with strangers even if they are hot like Matteo. Taking a deep breath I let it go. He said he would be okay with not having sex and if I need too long he is going to ask if something is wrong. I quickly cha
nge in my sleep wear and dim the light so he can’t see too much of my body. I crouch under the covers and call for Matteo to come in again. When he opens the door to the bathroom and the light shines on him I can’t stop the gasp coming from me. He is absolutely stunning. Several tattoos cover his upper body. He looks like he’s in good shape, but not too much. All lean and muscled but not over the top. His sixpack ripples when he comes closer and I see that most of his tattoos are written in another language, Italian presumably. When he stands next to the bed I see the first scar.
It looks like a white sun on the right side of his stomach. “Oh my god. You were shot?” Without another thought I trace the scar with my fingertips. The soft skin under my fingers tenses and Matteo grabs my hand and places a delicate kiss on my fingers.
“Shot, stabbed and beaten more than once, cara. But that shouldn’t be a topic for tonight. Let’s just go to bed, because if you keep going to do that I may not have enough resolve left. Now move over so I can hold you.” I see the bulk in his boxer shorts growing and blush again. It seems as if I can’t do anything more when he is with me. Without another word I move over and he snuggles behind me under the covers. Pressing a soft kiss on my neck he murmurs. “You can discover my body another time, cara. Now sleep, I am going to make sure nothing’s gonna harm you.” After that he wraps his strong arm around me and I feel my eyes close.
Chapter 5
Valerie
A few days later I am standing in my bakery again and I know I am daydreaming. Nothing happened between Matteo and me that night and unfortunately not in the morning. The moment we woke up his phone rang and he had to leave. Something urgent from the Family. Since then he called twice to fix our date in the club but other than that no sign of him. No message, no other calls and no visits. It is more than pathetic that I am waiting every day for him to come in the bakery. I save him a piece of my Panettone every day and every day I eat it on my own and am on the verge to puke it in the toilet in the evening. But till now I have been strong enough.
