by Lisa Wingate
I nodded, my mind racing ahead. The real estate lady was out of town for a family emergency? That explained why no one had come knocking when the rent was due. “Okay . . . well . . . I’ll let you know if we have any problems, thanks.”
I was hoping he’d leave, but he lingered there, surveying the rafters.
“Lil’ seekahsah, he got ’im a nest up there. Better take you some spray and knock it down.” He motioned to a lacy paper wasp nest in the corner.
“I’ll do that.”
“You be interested in doing some cleanin’ in the big house? Get the food and trash outta there, pass a broom around the floors, few things like that? Maybe we pull it off in rent here?”
I should’ve been overjoyed, but it took me a moment to answer. I had a feeling that Brother Joe Guilbeau knew a whole lot more about me than I wanted him to. I wondered what my kids might have told him in Bink’s. This felt way too much like a handout. But when it’s a choice between feeding your kids and watching them go hungry, you do what you have to do. “Sure. I might be interested in that.”
He nodded, the sun glinting off his large, round head, making it seem more disproportionate in size than it already was. “Nine tomorrow mo’nin’, you come by the church office. We’ll see, can we work up somethin’?” Then he exited the porch, studying Iola’s house as he crossed the yard.
In the driveway, Paul Chastain was loading the riding mower into his pickup truck. Brother Guilbeau stopped to help. Then the two of them shook hands, and Brother Guilbeau strode off across the field in front of the tumbledown stable, headed back to the church parking lot.
The pickup was finally leaving when the kids pulled into the driveway in the decked-out ragtop Jeep belonging to Zoey’s new crush. Paul Chastain pointed a finger at them, I guess to let them know they’d made the turn too fast. Zoey’s date waved back like he didn’t get the point.
Rowdy Raines fit his name, from what little I could tell about him so far. He was built like a tank and filled with high school swagger. Being the new girl in school, Zoey was excited that he liked her. She’d had to leave a boyfriend behind in Texas without even saying good-bye. Now that she’d made friends in Fairhope, I was hoping she’d see that leaving Dallas without a word to anyone was our only way out. If Trammel knew what I was planning, he would have found a way to stop me.
Oyster shells crunched under the Jeep’s tires as it rolled up in front of our cottage. J.T. hopped out as soon as he could, and Zoey followed, her flip-flops scuttling across the shell gravel. Rowdy waited in the vehicle, leaving it running.
J.T.’s oversize shorts flopped around his skinny legs as he hurried toward the front door, his stick-straight blond hair bobbing. “You have fun?” I asked, snaking an arm out to stop him. He dodged it and went on up the porch steps. “J.T., did you have fun?”
One hand was clasped on the screen door handle when he finally stopped. “Yeah.” The usual one-word answer, with a side of nine-year-old disinterest.
“Did you play with Rowdy’s brother?”
“Yeah.” His nose wrinkled under the freckles.
“Did you tell Rowdy and his brother thanks?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you say anything but yeah?” I wanted to dig down inside J.T. and find the chatterbox who used to talk about dinosaur bones and snails he discovered in the dirt outside the riding arena and zoo animals he learned about on TV and how earthworms eat. These days, he didn’t say anything unless he had to, and he didn’t do anything but sit in front of the TV with his video games. Somehow during these last few years, he’d learned to make himself invisible, and I hadn’t even noticed the change. Between trying to keep things on an even keel with Trammel and the haze of pills that had started after the accident, I’d missed a lot.
“Mom, I was supposed to be on Zago Wars twenty minutes ago. I’m missing the battle!” J.T.’s favorite thing about the cottage wasn’t the beach just blocks away or the hiking trails of Buxton Woods nearby. It was the wireless Internet installed for vacationers and the video game system he’d crammed into his backpack when we left Trammel’s house.
“Oh, well, excuse me. I hope the zombies didn’t attack while you were gone.”
He smirked then, his big blue eyes twinkling with a hint of the little teddy bear he used to be. “It doesn’t have zombies.”
“I knew that,” I joked, and he rolled a doubtful look my way.
Zoey glared at him and huffed, “He hardly even did anything with Rowdy’s brother, he was so worried about stupid Zago Wars and whoever he’s playing with online. There’s a party down at the pier, but we had to leave to run the dorkface home. Next time, I’m not bringing him with us. Anyway, we’re going back down to the beach.”
“Who’s having a party at the pier?”
Zoey’s eyes flashed wide. She wasn’t used to me asking questions. She pretty much ran her own life, like another adult in the house. Zoey had been taking care of herself since before she was old enough for school. There was a deep-down part of me that knew it was because there were so many times she’d had to.
“Rowdy’s friends, okay?” A nervous look flicked toward the car, and she shifted her hips to one side to let me know she didn’t have time for this. She was already mad at me for not telling her when Iola Poole died. Three days had passed before she’d heard about it at school, and then she’d come home in a panic, worried that we’d be moving in with Ross. I’d lied to her and told her I had enough money for another month’s rent.
“Maybe y’all could just hang around here. . . .”
Her eyes went cold. When Zoey looked at me like that —like everything in her that cared about me had turned to mortar and stone —I wondered if I’d already lost her for good.
“We’ll be back later.” She started toward the car. “I’ve got a stupid biology test tomorrow, and dorkface there screwed up his math homework too. I’ll help him redo it when I get home.” She left without bothering to ask me to help J.T. with his math, and even that hurt a little. She knew I’d always been good with numbers.
Rowdy’s car pulled out of the driveway, and J.T. opened the screen door, his shoulders rounding forward as I followed him inside. He hated it when Zoey was mad at him.
“I could help you with your math.”
“Zoey knows how to do it.” The bits of driftwood decorating the cottage walls rattled slightly as he ran to the enclosed back porch, where he’d been sleeping on an old foldout sofa bed. It was the only room in the house with an extra TV where he could play his video games to his heart’s content.
“You want something for dinner?” My stomach was growling. I’d been skipping lunches to save a little on groceries. “A hot dog or mac ’n’ cheese or something?”
“I’m not hungry too much. We ate at the beach.” His answer came with the closing of the door.
I sat down on the flowered chair in the living room, let my eyes fall shut, and felt the walls closing in around me. Sometimes it seemed like no matter how far away we went or how much I tried, Zoey and J.T. would never let me back into the world they’d built, the place where the two of them huddled together as the storms went on around them.
The phone rang while I was sitting there trying to decide whether to get something to eat or just skip it for the night. I answered and Ross was on the other end, home from a week of delivering processed, pressure-treated Carolina pines. I loved it that he always called as soon as he was back home. Guys like that don’t come along every day. Especially guys who look like Ross. On top of the fact that his parents owned a lumber company and vacation rental houses all over the Banks, he was a competitive amateur surfer in his off time. What girl wouldn’t have her head turned by a guy who took on massive waves and made it look like art?
“So, c’mon over.” His invitation was smooth like the purr of a kitten. “I’m at one of the houses in Salvo for a couple days while it’s empty. It’s lonely around here.” The thick, seductive tone pulled a delicious, warm feeling from deep inside me. It fel
t good to know that a man like him could want me. After listening to Trammel for six years, I’d started to believe no one could.
I was off the sofa and on my way to the kitchen, giddy inside, before I even had time to think. The sound of laser guns and explosions in J.T.’s room caught my ear as I crossed the hallway. I groaned, “Ohhh . . . J.T.’s here and Zoey’s gone.”
“So what. He’s got his face in a video game so much, he probably won’t even notice you left. The kid’s old enough to stay by himself.” Ross’s answer was sharp enough that I stopped moving toward my shoes.
Ross was right, of course. J.T. kept to himself whenever he could. He’d probably be right there in front of Zago Wars all evening.
“I know, but there’s the whole thing about the cottage. If somebody shows up here and tells him we have to get out, he’ll be scared to death. He won’t have a clue what to do.”
“Bring him with you. He can watch TV here, same as home.” His tone conveyed that it was a big sacrifice. After just getting back, he probably wasn’t in the mood to have a boy underfoot. The video game noise drove him nuts, anyway.
“He has some kind of math homework to do tonight.”
“Well, I’m not helpin’ him with that.” Ross let out a rueful laugh. “I get enough math all day, dealing with orders and invoices. I just wanna kick back, crack open a cold one, and get close to my baby.” A low moan sifted through the phone, like he was already stretching out on the sofa in some rental house that was probably eye-popping gorgeous. I pictured him combing his fingers through his dark hair, his coffee-colored eyes falling closed. I wanted to be right there with him, curled up in his arms, knowing I didn’t have a thing to worry about because he would take care of me. Ross made me feel that way.
“Come on, darlin’, it’s been a long trip. Come hang out in the hot tub with me. Ocean view, and I need me some welcome home.”
A heady feeling wound around me in a way I couldn’t resist. Ross could fix so many things for the kids and me. He had a house, a family with money. At thirty-nine, he was only six years older than me, so unlike with Trammel, we had things in common. He made me feel good about myself, attractive and wanted. He’d come along like a knight in shining armor, just when I needed one.
Looking down the hall at J.T.’s door again, I tried to decide whether to take him along to Ross’s or leave him here to wait for Zoey. Ross would like it better if I let J.T. stay behind, and so would J.T. Evening was setting in. Surely no one would stop by about the house anymore tonight. . . .
The sound of boots on the porch outside broke up the thought. Maybe Brother Guilbeau had changed his mind.
“Ross, I have to go. Someone’s here.” I started toward the door.
“You know what, Tandi? If you don’t wanna come over, just be straight about it.” Ross was strangely touchy this evening, mad right away. “I’ll go down to Captain Jack’s and hang awhile.” Captain Jack’s was one of his favorite dives, a nothing-fancy place where local boys went to get a cold beer and shoot pool. One of Ross’s ex-girlfriends worked there. He knew I knew that, of course.
“Listen, I’m not making it up. There’s someone here. I have to —”
He didn’t even wait for me to get the rest of the sentence out. He just hung up.
I set the phone down and pulled in a breath, smoothing my hair back before going to the door. When I opened it, no one was there.
CHAPTER 1
The more time that passes before it happens, the better. Usually that isn’t the case on any given day of any given week. Life is all about running breakneck, half-exhausted, from one thing to another—the kids, the job, the bills, the PTA, the school concession stand, the cheerleaders’ fund-raiser garage sale, the marriage . . .
Sometimes I wonder if she’s sleeping under there—the old Elizabeth Gallagher, the woman who seemed to have it all together. Or was she always just a fantasy? A figment of the hype she created eighteen years ago, when an unexpected pregnancy led to a hurried marriage between high school sweethearts? She was so determined to show all the naysayers that she could make a go of it, defy the statistics. Create the perfect family. A life to be proud of.
Pride is a steamroller. It’ll clear the path for a while, but sooner or later it’ll shift into reverse, and then . . . look out. Maybe everyone else saw it coming, and that’s why they’re backing away lately.
And now this.
I gaze out the bay window of the house that was supposed to be our dream home. Even the oak trees have grown up now, resolving our original objection to building on two acres of centennial family farmland deeded to us as a wedding gift. The trees, once they grew, were supposed to make life in this house picture-perfect.
Fall leaves blow across what we lovingly call the family compound, the bits of seasonal color dancing into the yards of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Unfortunately, a layer of pretty colors can’t fix what’s wrong here. Nor can it remove the For Sale sign across the street—the one that makes me feel like a drugstore mannequin in a 1950s government staging area, about to unwittingly take part in a nuclear test. I’m just waiting for the bomb to drop. I know it’s coming.
It couldn’t possibly hit the mark on a worse day.
I’d like to get the kids off to school before it happens. See if I can cajole a hug—one that doesn’t feel like it’s just me hanging on. But chances are, if they can slip by and get to Jessica’s car, they’ll be gone like bank robbers on the lam. They’ll probably be rushing, in danger of getting a tardy, Micah complaining that his big sister has made them late by lining her deep-blue eyes and fluffing her golden curls. She reminds me so much of myself in high school, it almost hurts. Exchange the blonde hair for brown, and our cheerleading photos would’ve been almost interchangeable side by side.
As they swerve out of the driveway, she’ll give her brother a dirty look, just like I would have. She’s frustrated with him for horning in on her senior year by choosing to take extra courses and graduate while he should still be a junior. She doesn’t want him in her car, and he’s only there because we force her to drive him. She saved her money for the car, but we pay for the gas and the insurance.
The kids most likely won’t even notice the sign across the road. The one that will bring a blinding explosion and a mushroom cloud of family fallout as soon as Uncle Butch sees it. There’s no way he’ll sit still for his sister selling that property.
I let my head sink to the table, let my eyes close next to the bowl of steel-cut oatmeal that is both breakfast and supper after working a night shift. Something mild that won’t make me throw up once it hits my stomach, which has been churning since 3 a.m., halfway through my work hours.
There’s a little girl missing this morning, and if I’d only been quicker, if I hadn’t screwed up, vapor-locked for the first time ever, my mind whirling in a pool of exhaustion and family issues when the call came into the 911 dispatch center, that girl might be home right now. Safe in her mother’s arms.
Instead I’m petrified that the worst has happened, and it’s my fault. If a child isn’t found within the first three hours, the chances are immeasurably less.
I hear the call again as sleep mist floats over my mind. I re-create the moment in my thoughts, try to alter events, to fix the damage.
The caller is sobbing, panicked, alone in the Cappie’s Quick Mart parking lot, except for a kindly trucker who has seen her screaming hysterically and stopped to investigate the problem.
“Sh-sh-she was h—!” The word here disappears into a moaning howl, animal-like. “Jus-s-st you . . . Sh-sh-she . . . she was . . . sleeping . . . in the seat. In back, with . . . with the babyyyy. I only went . . . just one mm-minute . . . Mm-maybe two . . . in . . .”
I try to calm her down, to discern what has happened, exactly. She’s been hysterical for several minutes, difficult to work with, though I’ve managed to get her name, the name of the store, and that this is a possible abduction, then send the information through Computer-Aided D
ispatch. Response units are on the way, but the Cappie’s Quick Mart is out on Old Collier Road, not close to anything. It’ll take a while.
The caller is slurring her words. I’m beginning to suspect that she’s drunk or on something. But she could just be emotional. I do the thing that 911 operators are trained to do. I use her name, Trista. She sounds incredibly young, and so much like my Jessica. I wonder if she is the missing girl’s sister or babysitter or friend or mother. I’m still trying to establish what has taken place.
There’s adrenaline rushing through me, but my mind hasn’t kicked in the way it should. It’s like a disk drive spinning and spinning but not coming up with the correct response. I reach for the scripts on the shelf above the desk—the ones we use with new operators doing on-the-job training.
So many of these instances turn out to be nothing, I think. I’ve said it to trainees before. Often the child either has been picked up by another family member or has wandered off to play or is in trouble and is hiding to avoid punishment.
Please let this be nothing. The words in my head seem to drift into empty space. Even that seems wrong. I used to know those words were going somewhere. That someone was hearing them.
I read off the script instead of winging it. I know it’s slower, but it feels safer tonight. There’s something wrong with me, and the truth is, I’ve known it for a while. I’ve been afraid something like this would happen.
This is my nightmare, playing out.
I ask her if there’s anyone else I can speak to. Anyone who was with her when the child disappeared. There is only the trucker, and he knows nothing, other than that he’s found a crazed woman in a parking lot at three in the morning. In the background, traffic whizzes by. The trucker tells me that the people in the convenience store didn’t see anything either—just a woman going hysterical in the parking lot a couple minutes after she left the store.
I ask him to give the phone back to Trista, then please go check on the car and keep an eye on the baby, if there is one. Do we have two missing children here or one?
