by Lacey Wolfe
“Oh yeah, how so?”
“It’s hard to explain. Anyway, I was going to drop things and tell him this wasn’t a good idea, but he wants to go to dinner tonight.”
“So go. You might have a better time than you think you will. What’s his name?”
“Ryan Newell. He’s some fancy scientist.” As Kayla took a sip of her coffee, she noticed her friend’s face almost went pale for a moment. “You okay, Abbie?”
Abbie’s face went from shock to smirking. “I’m fine. Never been better.”
Chapter 5
The small Italian restaurant was packed this evening. It took Kayla several circles around the parking lot before she finally snagged a spot. She loaded her phone and keys into her purse then exited the vehicle. She rushed to the front door. She was late. And not just five minutes late, but forty. It wasn’t all her fault though. The battery in the clock had died.
Inside, the hostess greeted her.
“I’m meeting someone. A gentleman named Ryan.”
“He’s already seated. Follow me.” The young girl led Kayla through the crowded restaurant and finally to a table where she saw the drop-dead-gorgeous man who’d been filling her mind lately.
“Thank you,” she said to the hostess as she took her seat.
“You look beautiful.” Ryan stared at her with a longing in his eyes.
Her cheeks burned. There was no way she looked anywhere as good as he did. She almost wished they were alone so she could touch him just to make sure he was real.
“I hope you don’t mind, I ordered us both a glass of tea.”
“No alcohol tonight?” she teased.
He smirked. “It’s probably best I don’t.”
The waitress appeared to see if they were ready to order. Ryan said he was, and Kayla already knew what she wanted. Fettuccini alfredo. She could eat the creamy pasta every day and never tire of it. After they placed their orders, she took a sip of her tea.
“I’ve been doing some thinking about this set up. I’m not sure it’s a good idea,” she said.
“How come?”
“I do want to fall in love. I don’t want to just appease my parents like you seem to want to.”
“Love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You and I could be happy together.”
She laughed. “Exchanging emails is our only form of communication.”
“We would never expect any more. But if you’d like more, we can do that. We can actually date. But love will never be involved. We’d have to agree on that.”
That’s what she worried about. If sex was involved, it would be hard to keep her feelings at bay. “I don’t know if I can settle for that though.”
“And falling in love with someone who is only going to cheat on you one day when someone better comes along is worth it?” He grunted. “I don’t think so. Love messes things up.”
Whoever the girl was from him past, cheating must have been involved. “I see what you’re saying. But I’ve never experienced this phenomenon called love. I want to. And there is nothing to say my experience would be like yours anyway.”
Ryan took a garlic roll from the basket in the middle of the table. “How about this? You keep seeing me until that amazing man you’re waiting on comes along. There is no real reason to end this, is there? As long as we casually see one another, you won’t have any more blind dates from your dear parents.”
He had a point. “I suppose you’re right. But the kissing…”
He raised an eyebrow. “What about it? Don’t want to do it anymore?”
Kissing would cloud her judgment, but she wasn’t sure she could resist. “We’ll do our best not to, but it’s okay if we do.”
“I like you. This might work out well.” He tore off a piece of the bread, and before he popped it in his mouth, he added, “I’m glad we aren’t taking kissing off the table.”
Kayla’s cheeks burned again. She really should’ve told him no more lip-locking. But the man was talented. There was no reason she should punish herself by denying herself access to his skilled mouth. There should be benefits to the charade.
“Tell me a little about what you do,” he said.
“I’m a freelance editor.”
“Is the pay well?”
“If you have the right credentials, you’d be amazed what you can make. Though I’m sure as a scientist, you do better than I do.”
He shrugged. “Not necessarily. We aren’t rolling in dough either.”
“Currently, I’m editing a few books. I usually do magazine articles and such. But the world seems to have been taken over by eBooks.”
He laughed. “Before long everything will be digital.”
She wasn’t about to tell him digital and sexy. Some of the things she’d been reading lately had made her blush. “From my understanding, you’re a chemist, right? What kind of drugs do you usually develop?”
“The best kind—ones to help those who are ill. And it isn’t as easy as you think. One moment you think you’ve got it, then it all falls apart.” He motioned with his hands as he spoke.
“Whatever you’re working on right now, I hope you get it figured out. You were pretty stressed.”
“I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. We all have down moments.”
“Yes, but I called you there with one intention.”
Oh, she knew what that intention was. And it had taken everything in her not to let him take his frustration out on her. It would’ve been good. Her insides were still mad she hadn’t released.
“I’m glad you stopped it though,” he said, right as the server arrived carrying their dishes.
A blue plate was laid in front of her. The aroma of garlic hit her senses and she couldn’t wait to dig in. It had been awhile since she’d had her favorite dish. Hopefully she wouldn’t pig out and devour the whole thing in five minutes.
She looked over at his plate. Spaghetti with Italian sausage. It looked good too. Come to think of it, besides her snack with her gym friend, what had she really eaten today?
“Ma’am,” the waitress said. “Fresh cheese?”
Kayla blinked twice and realized the lady was standing there with a cheese grinder. “Yes, please.”
“Just tell me when to stop.”
After a light layer was added, Kayla held her hand up.
They ate silently. Kayla stole glances at Ryan and caught him doing the same. She wasn’t really curious about his work. More about the woman who broke his heart in two. If Ryan was hers, she’d never have cheated on him. What better could’ve come along?
It was thinking like that she needed to avoid. He wasn’t her future. He technically wasn’t even her present. Until she found someone, she’d put up with this sham. She just hoped it wouldn’t take years. Maybe when she got home, she’d set up a profile on a dating website.
Right. And the next date she had would be with a serial killer. In fact, last night on the news they were talking about one on the loose. And some dating site was the way he was attracting his victims. Never mind. She wasn’t desperate enough to date a serial killer.
“Is your food okay?” Ryan asked, staring at her with an amused expression. “You’re lost in thought.”
“It’s really good. Thanks for asking. How’s yours?”
“Great. I’m glad you suggested this place. I’ve never been here. We’ll have to come back sometime.”
“Don’t get too comfortable with me.” Kayla waved her finger at him.
He laughed. “I know. You want the whole love package.”
She grinned at him. “And I deserve no less.”
Ryan took a bite of his food. “I hope you get it.”
“You know, Ryan. There’s still hope for you too.”
* * * *
It was Sunday. Family dinner.
Kayla wasn’t looking forward to it—less than usual. Today the conversation was going to be all about Ryan. Her parents were going to want to know each a
nd every little detail. She wasn’t sure she had it in her to go on with this charade. She could see Ryan’s reasoning for continuing and even kind of agreed. But the more time she spent with him, the more she liked him. And she wasn’t supposed to like him.
When they’d finished their meal the night before, he’d asked if she wanted to keep the evening going. Of course she did, but she quickly declined. They were drawn to one another like magnets and the night would end with them tangled in his sheets again.
They almost kissed at her car. He’d stood close. Very close. She’d been able to smell his aftershave. His eyes were almost black with passion and he’d licked his lips. The moment was going to happen. But then she’d stopped him. She lifted a hand up and it was over. He’d returned to his car, and she got into hers. They went their separate ways.
How much longer could they do this before one of them fell for the other? And obviously it would be her. He was certain he’d never love again. She was going to have to start the man search ASAP or else she would be falling for yet another commitment-phobia man.
When she arrived at her parents’, she let herself in and heard the sound of clattering coming from the kitchen. Making her way through the house, she found her mom staring down at the floor.
“Mom, is everything okay?”
Her mother looked up, tears running down her cheeks. “I just dropped the pan and it hit my toe.”
“Let me help you.” Kyla bent down and began scooping up the potatoes and placing them back in the pan, not caring that the food burned her fingers the whole time.
“Thank you so much, dear. I don’t know what happened.” Her mom’s voice quivered.
“Accidents happen. Don’t worry about it.”
Once the food was back in the pan, Kayla carried it over to the trash and dumped it. She set the pan in the sink and glanced around to see what else her mother might need help with. She noticed they were having her dad’s favorite meal—beef roast, green beans, crescents, and au gratin potatoes—or would’ve been.
“What can I do to help?”
Her mother was still frozen in the same spot. Kayla began to worry. She’d never seen her mom so upset. And why over the food?
Kayla opened the pantry and found two bags of instant potatoes. Everything else was ready and perhaps she could work some magic on these to make them taste good. She measured water and placed it in a pot to boil.
“He doesn’t like those,” her mother objected.
“It’ll be fine. He’ll understand.”
“No he won’t.”
Kayla looked over her shoulder. Something was definitely off. “I’m going to make these the best potatoes he’s ever had. You go back to finishing up. It’ll be fine. I promise. And we’ll tell Dad I’m a klutz and dropped the pan.”
Her mom was silent, but did as Kayla requested. Fifteen minutes later, the food was on the table and they were all taking a seat. They passed the dishes around and once everyone had filled their plates, they began to eat. Neither of her parents spoke. This was new. Had they had a fight and her mother was making this dinner as a type of apology?
Kayla had to break the ice. “I’ve been out a few times with Ryan. I had a lovely time.”
“So glad to hear that. We really enjoyed our dinner with him the other evening.” Her father cut off a piece of the roast.
“Yeah. He had a good time too. Last night we met for dinner.”
“I hope this one works out.” He took a bite.
Kayla set her fork down. What the heck was going on? Her mother wasn’t wanting every single detail and her father was picking at his food. “You’re both acting really off. What’s going on?”
Her father cleared his throat, but said nothing. Just continued to cut his meat. Her mother, however, had tears in her eyes.
“Mom, what’s going on? Is someone sick? Was there a death?”
Her dad set his fork and knife down and looked at her. “Your mother and I are getting a divorce.”
“You’re what?” Had she heard him right?
Her mother got up from the table and left the room crying. Kayla expected her father to run after her, but he didn’t. He just sat there showing no emotion whatsoever.
“Why?” Was this some sort of joke? She glanced around quickly, wondering if she was on some candid TV show.
“I don’t want to discuss it right now.”
“Just last week you guys were all lovey-dovey. You’ve been together for years. What went wrong? I don’t understand.”
He set his napkin on the table and stood. “Feel free to box your meal up and take it with you. I’m not in the mood to eat this right now.”
He walked out of the room, leaving Kayla stunned. Maybe Ryan was on to something. Maybe love really didn’t exist and she was living in a fantasy world.
Chapter 6
Ryan was taking the day off—or at least from the lab. Being there would do him no good. At home, he was relaxed and might be able to get more work done.
He poured another cup of coffee, then took a seat in his small office and booted up his computer. Kayla crossed his mind and he wondered how her dinner had gone with her parents. His mother and father were mediocre compared to hers who meddled like crazy. He was sure there would be an email from her with updates about things she’d told them.
For the most part, this set up was going well. How much luckier could he get to have a beautiful woman agree to dinner here and there and not expect much else. No ring, no living together, no kids. Perfect. And sure, one day Kayla would move on, but for now she was his and he’d enjoy her while he could.
He checked his email program first—finding this as a new habit. Nothing from her. A bit of disappointment coursed through him. He liked hearing from her.
He opened a new message and decided he’d check in with her.
Kayla,
Hope Monday finds you well. Anything I need to know about after your dinner? Such as details on us.
-R
He pressed the send button. As he scrolled through his messages, answering all work related ones, he found himself waiting for the quiet ding that alerted him to new emails. But it didn’t come. He clicked refresh several times. Maybe she wasn’t up yet. Or not at her computer.
He sighed. What was wrong with him? He was acting like a boyfriend, which he wasn’t. She didn’t have to reply right away. She could take a whole day if she felt like it. He took a sip of coffee, and as he set the mug down, the sound he’d been waiting for happened. And a message had arrived from Kayla.
Weekend was fine. Nothing to share.
That was it. She didn’t even sign it. Crap. Was she upset he’d tried to kiss her again? But she’d said kissing was on the table. So what was the problem?
Everything okay?
-R
Before he could wait for a response, his cellphone rang from the other room. He grunted and went to answer it.
“Hey, Max. What can I do for you?”
“Have you seen the orange notebook with safety procedures that we keep in the lab?” his coworker asked.
“Uh.” Ryan scratched his head as he tried to recall the last time he’d used the binder. “Did you ask John yet? He was in the lab most of Friday.”
“He isn’t answering his phone.”
“Is there a problem?”
“Chemical spill. Wanted to double check the correct way to clean it up.”
Ryan laughed. “When in doubt, use paper towels.”
Max chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. You coming in today?”
“Nope. Working from home. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
“All right, man.”
The call was disconnected. With phone in hand, Ryan went back to his office. Kayla had responded.
Yes.
He didn’t believe her for one minute. She was always chatty. A one word answer wasn’t going to fly. After he got some work done, he might just have to pay her a visit.
* * * *
Kayla redressed in a fr
esh pair of sweatpants and a baggy shirt after her shower. She shouldn’t be letting the news of her parents’ split affect her the way it was, but she was honestly feeling devastated. They’d been pushing her for years to marry and start a family. But why? What was the reason? They obviously weren’t as happy as they’d claimed to be. Her mother always said the best thing that happened to her was getting married to the man she loved. She’d claimed that getting to spend each day of her life with him had been a gift from God. And of course, Kayla being born was the icing on the cake. Kayla just couldn’t make sense of how all that changed.
She needed to email Ryan and tell him this was done. Over and done with. She didn’t have time to pull the wool over her parents’ eyes anymore. She had to figure out what had gone wrong and fix it. Maybe her mom would sit down and tell her. She’d been the most upset. Her father had been almost cold about it, like he didn’t care.
Was he the one who wanted the separation?
Kayla was startled from her thoughts when the doorbell rang. She peeked through the peephole and it felt a little like déjà vu. Ryan stood there with a bag in his hands again. Unlocking the door, she opened it.
“What are you doing here?”
“I brought you lunch.”
She sighed, not feeling up to company. “Why?”
“You seemed down in your email.” He brushed past her into the house.
Closing the door, she followed him into her dining room where he was already pulling out the food. Mexican. Another favorite of hers.
“Sit.” He pointed at a chair.
She did and he pushed a plate full of food her way. He set the chips and queso dip between them and plopped down next to her.
“This was really sweet of you. Thanks.”
He picked up his taco. “Tell me. What’s going on?”
She took a bit of the beans. “Just family stuff.”
