by Lacey Wolfe
Would he even come home? Where else would he go?
She groaned. Enough with these thoughts. It was torture. She’d sent the email, and she’d meant every word of it then, but now she was second guessing herself. When she sent it she wasn’t thinking about the fact that he lived there. He slept in the same bed with her—usually. And now she’d have to face him after telling him she didn’t want to be with him anymore. What was she thinking?
It had to be done. That’s why. She couldn’t do this anymore. She was tired of the lies. Sick of telling herself that as much as she liked him, she couldn’t love him. She had to face it—she liked him...a lot. Was it love? Maybe, but she hadn’t let her heart or mind go down that path yet.
Oh man, she’d made a bigger mess of an already big mess.
She heard his car in the driveway. She jumped up and down. Why was she doing that? Seriously, what the hell was wrong with her? His car door closed.
Should she greet him? Run to the bedroom and lock herself in? Or she could turn on the TV and pretend she was engrossed in whatever show was on. She ran around the couch and grabbed the remote, turning it on just as she heard the doorknob turning.
The screen flashed on and her eyes got wide. The nature channel was on and two animals were going at it.
“What are you watching?” Ryan closed the door.
She changed the channel quick. Smooth…now it looked like he’d caught her watching animal porn. Where the hell was that stupid do-over button?
“I just turned it on.”
He laughed. “Sure.”
Ryan set his laptop bag in the usual place he did. Her heart raced as she waited to see if he’d come over and kiss her the way he always did. Ryan walked around the couch and stopped in front of her. She glanced up as he was leaning down.
His lips were inches from her and she closed her eyes in anticipation for them to meet hers. Instead, he brushed them against her cheek. Opening her eyes, she saw him walk away toward the kitchen.
She wanted a kiss. Not a peck. Damn it, she’d really made a muck of this. Breaking up was hard, but it was torture when you lived with them. No wonder her dad had moved out. How could her parents bare to be in the same house if it wasn’t working anymore?
Kayla hopped off the couch and followed him into the kitchen.
“I wasn’t sure when you’d be home, so I didn’t make dinner.”
He grinned. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to have dinner waiting on me. I’m a grown man.”
She chewed her lip.
“I had a great day.” He leaned against the counter.
Maybe he hadn’t read her email.
“I hit the breakthrough I’ve been needing at work, got rid of Abbie, and have big plans for the future. Let’s go out.”
“That isn’t a good idea.”
He shrugged. “I’m going to go change and then go out and try that new sushi bar on Third Street. I’d love to spend the evening with you, but I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want.”
Ryan left the kitchen. She sighed. The day had been great for him. Maybe he was relieved she wanted to break things off.
A moment later, he returned in a pair of dark jeans and a white button-down shirt. Damn it, he looked hot. She wanted to be on his arm as he entered that restaurant.
“Last chance. Are you coming?”
She shook her head.
“Your loss.” He moved closer to her and once again kissed her cheek. As he left the kitchen, he turned back toward her. “Enjoy the nature channel.”
* * * *
Ryan parked his car in his parents’ driveway. He took a deep breath then raked his hands through his hair. He’d much rather be sharing sushi with Kayla right now, but instead he was at his parents’ to ask for advice…about love. Oh man, they were going to have a field day with this.
He climbed out of the car and made his way up the brick steps. He lightly tapped on the front door before pushing it open.
“Mom, Dad,” he called.
“Ryan!” His mom appeared from around the corner. “What do I owe this wonderful surprise to? Where is Kayla?”
Watching animal porn. “She’s at home.”
“I can tell by your tone something’s wrong. What is it?”
“Can we eat first? I’m starved.” He rubbed his stomach.
“You’re just in time.” She wrapped an arm around his waist. “Joseph, Ryan’s here.”
In the kitchen, his father was pulling out a casserole dish from the oven. From the aroma, Ryan could tell he’d picked the right night to stop by. Mozzarella Chicken. Yum!
“Where’s Kayla?” His father set the glassware onto the stove’s burners.
Damn, were they supposed to be joined at the hip? “She’s at home.”
He nodded. “We’re glad to have you here. Set the table.”
Ryan busied himself with the task and a few minutes later, they were all seated around the table. He filled his plate with as much food as it would allow. He loved his mom’s cooking. They ate quietly for the first few minutes, which happened rarely with his parents.
He was the first to speak. “So I finally made the breakthrough at work I needed.”
“Oh, great.” His dad took a sip of his drink.
“Yeah, tell me about it. Just in time too. Kayla’s parents are paying for a weekend away for the two of us.”
“I heard it again.” His mom set her fork down.
“Heard what?”
“Your tone when you said Kayla. Are you two okay?”
He could never get anything past his mother—ever. Even as a teenager, when he thought he was being smooth, she was always two steps ahead of him.
“It’s a little rocky at the moment.”
“Living together is a big adjustment,” his dad added.
“Yes, it is.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to be honest and admit that I need help fixing this.”
“Of course.” His mom wiped her mouth with the cloth napkin.
“When Kayla and I began our relationship, we decided we’d do it to make you and her parents happy. We agreed to never fall in love and just live life together. With her parents divorcing—”
“What? The Ames?” His mom stared at him. “You’re kidding? I never… No, you have to be wrong.”
“You’re more worried about her parents than the fact we lied to you.”
His parents shared a smile at one another before his mom spoke. “Dear, if you’re here because you need help, my guess is your plan didn’t go as according to plan.”
His dad laughed.
“Yeah.” He took a bite of his chicken.
“Let me guess, you fell in love with her and now you aren’t sure if she loves you?” his father asked.
They were smart. “Pretty much. This thing with her parents has her really torn up.”
“It has me in a fit too.” His mom wiped her mouth with her napkin. “She loves you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “How do you know?”
“I’m a woman, I know these things. Don’t question it.”
His mother knew everything. Hell, he could probably ask her what color his boxers were and she’d know. She was freaky like that.
“How do I fix it?”
“What needs to be fixed?” His dad scooped noodles up on his fork.
“She wants to break up. She said she doesn’t want to do this anymore. Something about her not wanting to go through life in a loveless relationship.”
“But it isn’t loveless anymore. You two are in love.” His mother grinned. “You two just haven’t figured it out.”
“Why don’t you tell her?” his dad suggested.
“You mean, just come out and say ‘I love you, Kayla’? Are you nuts? I’m thinking I can show her on that trip her parents have planned, if I can convince her we should go.”
“There isn’t much we can tell you to do, son. Other than get her up to the cabin and tell her how you feel.” His mom retur
ned to her meal. “I still can’t believe the Ames are getting divorced. I’m gonna have to call Valerie in the morning and see how she’s doing. They were so happy at our dinner the other week.”
Ryan chuckled and went back to eating.
* * * *
Ryan opened the door to the house. It was quiet. Guess Kayla had gotten her fill of the animals humping. He smiled, thinking of the look on her face when he’d walked in.
“Kayla,” he called out softly.
“In the kitchen.”
He found her at the small kitchen table with a bag of chips and dip. “I hope that wasn’t your dinner.”
She shrugged. “It wasn’t as good as sushi, but it’s filling.”
Ryan took a seat. She pushed the dip closer and turned the bag so he could have some. As much as he’d love to snack with her, he’d loaded up on his mom’s food.
“Did you get my email today?” she asked.
“I did.”
“So you’re happy?”
Happy? Where had she gotten that crazy idea. “No. I don’t want things to end between us.”
“I don’t either, but—”
“Kayla, I feel…” Oh, this was harder than he thought, opening himself like this. “I feel very strongly for you.”
She bit a chip and stared at him, obviously waiting on him to talk more. Damn it, he hated all this feelings shit.
“I’ve fallen for you.”
She shook her head. “So you, the man who claims he will never love, suddenly loves. You don’t have to lie to me. Hell, you could’ve begged me on one knee and I might’ve agreed to keep this going. But now I feel disrespected that you used the word love.”
“Disrespected? What?” He took a deep breath. “Let’s go on this trip together. Please.”
“I’m not going away with you, Ryan. We can’t keep doing this.”
“Why? I want to be with you. I want the whole thing.”
“But without love,” she added.
He hated fighting with her. Why didn’t she understand? “I want love.” There, maybe that would make it crystal clear to her.
She stood and started to put her snack contents away. “You only think you love me now because I want to end this.”
He got up and followed her out of the kitchen. She leaned against the wall in the hallway that led to their room, to the bed he so desperately wanted to be in with her. But he knew that wasn’t happening.
“Your parents booked this trip. Let’s take it.”
“Maybe they should take it. You know, they were having dinner together the other night when I thought Dad was with Abbie. Turns out, she lied. Go figure. I’m just done with this. All the drama. I want my simple, quiet life back.”
He groaned. “I want to be in it. Be honest with yourself. You want me, right?”
She laughed. “You’re so cocky.”
“But you like it.”
“I don’t know what I like anymore.”
He wanted to beat his head against the wall. Were women ever rational? “If you won’t go on the trip with me, you should go. Take the time to figure us out. Because I’m not lying. Love has entered the equation. We tried to keep it away, but I think we both failed.”
She stared at him; he could see her mind was moving a mile a minute. Was it finally clicking?
“I’ll think about it.”
“Thank you. That’s all I ask.”
“Maybe the distance will be good. It’ll give you time too.”
At least she was going. He’d rather be there with her, but if this was the only way they could move forward, he’d take it.
“Good night, Ryan.” She turned and went into the bedroom, closing the door.
He let out the groan he’d been suppressing. He fisted his hands, trying not to punch anything. Damn it, he didn’t want to sleep on that damn couch with the rabbit staring at him.
Love was complicated. How the hell had he let himself go down this road again?
Chapter 17
Kayla dropped her suitcase down on the creaky wooden porch. She pulled the key from her pocket and unlocked the door. Before entering the cabin, she glanced around. This place was certainly secluded. Maybe she should’ve brought some sort of protection.
Picking the luggage back up, she went inside and locked the door. The place was small and rustic. It had that country charm she imagined it would. The couches were a blue and green plaid pattern, and the floors were hardwood, matching the walls. The whole place was mainly one room. The living area, kitchen, and dining. A doorway was to her left and she imagined it held the bedroom and bathroom.
She walked over to the sliding glass door in the dining area. Outside was nothing but trees. The scenery was beautiful, she supposed, if one liked green. If only the back door had blinds or something. Her mind began to wander and she shivered. Someone could be hiding in those trees watching her.
She moved away quickly into the main house. Later, she would pull the sheet off the bed and hang it up there somehow.
She wandered mindlessly through the cabin. The bedroom was large with a king-size bed and a jetted tub in the room. She snickered that it was heart-shaped and red.
Now she had to decide what to do on this vacation. If she’d let Ryan come, he’d probably already have her stripped naked on that big bed. Which would’ve been better than standing there and fantasizing about it.
He’d told her he wanted more. He was ready to take that step. And yet, she told him no. She was beginning to wonder what the heck was wrong with her.
She sat down and ran her fingers along the cool comforter. This weekend she needed to get her head on straight and figure out what to do about all of this. She’d told Ryan right before she left that if he chose to move out while she was gone, he could. Now she dreaded returning home. She liked having him there. And it had been awhile since they’d shared the bed. She missed his arm around her as she drifted off to sleep.
Kayla groaned. Why had she rejected him? She stood and began to pace. Her parents, that was why. She was so mixed up about their marriage ending, that one minute she believed in love and the next she didn’t. And Ryan didn’t help that. He’d been so adamant that he would never love again and love was out of the question for them. Yet he fell for her. He’d been the one who’d convinced her they shouldn’t fall in love, so she never expected he would. Sure, she fell for him, but she’d never really believed she wouldn’t. Especially with them living together and having sex.
She hit the mattress then stood. This weekend was going to drag. It had been a mistake to come there alone. All she had were her thoughts and they wanted to tell her what a dumbass she’d been.
In the living room, she grabbed her bag, debating about leaving and going home. She dropped her luggage back to the floor. No, she wasn’t going home. Somehow, someway, she would enjoy this.
She grabbed her purse and dug out her phone. The first thing she would do was call and order pizza and wings. She unlocked her screen as she went in search of the menus these places usually stored somewhere. It was then she noticed she’d received a new email from Ryan.
Just wanted to make sure you arrived safely. Message me and let me know.
-R
She sighed and responded.
I’m here. Thanks for checking.
-K
She placed the phone down as she opened the drawers in the kitchen. Finally, in the drawer by the refrigerator, she found what she was looking for. She called and ordered her food, then decided to watch a movie while she waited.
As she flipped through the channels, her bracelet caught her attention. She held her wrist up, staring at the silver broken heart. She hadn’t taken the bracelet off since Ryan had given it to her. And if her memory served her right, he still wore his as well. She moaned. She had a broken heart now and it hurt.
Laying her head back on the couch, it dawned on her that she’d only been at the cabin maybe forty-five minutes. This was going to be the longest vacation of her life
.
* * * *
Ryan stared at the rabbit as it gazed at him. He still wasn’t used to Bunny. Why Kayla didn’t have a normal pet like a cat or dog, he didn’t know. All this pet did was twitch its nose and look at him. It almost freaked him out. Every corner he turned, there was Bunny staring at him. And the damn rabbit never blinked.
Kayla claimed the rabbit was litter box trained, and usually he believed her. But ever since she’d left, the rabbit had been dropping pellets throughout the living room. He was getting tired of cleaning it up. So he’d told the animal it was going in the cage. He would swear it understood English, because now he couldn’t catch it. For the last ten minutes he’d been chasing it around the small living room like an idiot.
“Come here, Bunny. I have a carrot for you.” He waved it in the direction the rabbit sat. He was only inches from being able to grab it when it hopped off. “Damn it!”
There was no way he could take care of this rabbit while she was away. Obviously Bunny didn’t like him. It was time to admit defeat, even though he’d claimed taking care of the animal would be no issue. Kayla had left her mom’s number on the kitchen counter. He typed the numbers into the phone and waited her for to answer.
“Hello,” she said breathlessly.
What had she been doing? “Hey, it’s Ryan. I need help with Bunny. Think you can take her for a few days until Kayla gets back?”
“Why aren’t you with Kayla?”
Shit. He hadn’t thought about that. “Uh.” What did he say?
“I’m waiting, Ryan.”
“I, uh…” Why wasn’t his brain working right? Where was the excuse? “I had to work.”
“On a weekend you’re supposed to be away with my daughter? I’m really disappointed.”
He cleared his throat. “Kayla needed some time to think. I’m giving it to her.”
“You guys aren’t having problems, are you? I talked to your mom the other day and she said things were going great.” She paused. “And yes, she told me about this sham the two of you put on, but instead you’d fallen in love.”
