Agnes blocked our way, arms outstretched, screaming, ‘She ain’t seein’ no doctor. I ain’t spendin’ good money on a doctor when it’s her busted my pump. Who’s gonna pay to fix that?’
To me their voices seemed to be coming from far away and I sagged against the door frame to keep myself from falling. Feeling was coming back into my finger and I was in an agony of pain.
Dimly, I saw Uncle Larry grab hold of Agnes, push her into her rocker and hold her there, his hands pressing down on her shoulders. ‘You-all go on,’ he called. ‘I’ll be right behind you.’
The Old Man picked me up and I noticed James hovering by the door looking white and scared. ‘Can he come with us?’ I pleaded, my voice little more than a whisper.
‘Why not?’ the Old Man said. ‘Be one less kid for her to beat up on.’
The next thing I remember was being in a little white room where an old man with white hair that matched the walls of the room was stitching my finger back together. That, and the sound of my own screaming. The Old Man was holding one side of me and Uncle Larry the other and through the prisms of my tears I could see James crouched in a corner on the floor with his eyes tight shut and his fingers in his ears.
An old lady was there, too. A kindly old lady. She was handing the doctor the things he needed and talking to me.
‘There, there, honey,’ she soothed. ‘Nearly done. There, there.’
When the doctor snipped the thread with the scissors she handed him, she said, ‘There! See! What did I tell you? Doctor Healey’s finished and guess what? You’ve still got your whole entire finger! Hold still now while I get you bandaged up.’
Uncle Larry dropped my arm and stepped back saying, ‘Lord God almighty, girl! Never heard such a racket in all my born days. Thought you Limeys was supposed to be tough.’
Doctor Healey told him finger injuries were very painful. ‘Nerve endings, you know….’ Turning to me, he asked, ‘And what’s a little English girl like you doing way out here?’
I was still too busy gulping and sobbing to be able to answer and Doctor Healey was too busy turning my head this way and that, fingering the multitude of cuts and bruises put there by Agnes, to notice. ‘Looks like you make a habit of running into things, doesn’t it, child?’ he said. ‘Head. Arms. Legs.’ He turned to the Old Man, ‘She a relative?’
‘It’s the wife,’ the Old Man muttered, ‘The wife takes in foster kids.’
‘Ah-ha!’ Doctor Healey said, as though that explained everything. Turning to me he said my finger was going to be good as new. ‘Come back Friday,’ he said, ‘so I can take a look-see. Maybe take some of these stitches out.’ He looked at the lady, ‘Maybe Mrs Healey will fix us some tea and cake that day,’ he suggested, ‘and we’ll have time for a nice long visit.’
‘Absolutely,’ Mrs Healey beamed. ‘Tea and cake it will be. And bring this brother of yours along with you.’
Walking back to the house, Uncle Larry told the Old Man that Agnes was plumb crazy. ‘I was you I’d get the hell out of there,’ he said. ‘Fast!’
‘I can handle her,’ the Old Man said.
‘Yeah, I noticed,’ Uncle Larry sneered. ‘You handle her real good, Wally.’
The Old Man was so dumb he took that as a compliment and smiled.
‘Me, I’m leaving just as soon’s we get back,’ Uncle Larry went on. ‘Couldn’t sleep knowing she’s running loose around the place. ’Sides, ain’t got nothing to stay for,’ he scowled at me. ‘Ain’t gonna have us no fun like we planned the way things has turned out. Jesus! And I worked my ass off two entire weekends on that damn well of yours.’
Just as he said those words, we came out of the woods and Uncle Larry stopped walking and let out a low whistle. ‘What’s she got going on there, Wally?’ he asked, nodding towards the porch.
James and I could have told him what she’d got going on. What was going on was one of Agnes’ favourite tortures. The one where she made kids kneel on the splintering planks of the porch, their hands tied tightly to the roof supports with rough twine. As a finishing touch, a rag filled with either soap, vinegar, or pepper was always added as a gag to each howling mouth.
Uncle Larry ran the rest of the way to the house with James and me close on his heels. Yanking open the screen door he strode into the office and confronted Agnes, gently rocking in her rocker, wearing her ‘smiley’ smile.
‘You can go to jail for that, woman,’ Uncle Larry roared, jerking his thumb towards the porch.
Her eyes riveted on James and me, Agnes acted as though she neither saw nor heard him. Her slow, soft smile widening she spoke to us, saying, ‘I been waitin’ on you. Seems like we got some accounts to settle, don’t it? My animals ain’t had a drop of water this whole entire day on account of you bustin’ my pump. And my vegetables is out there wiltin’ … dyin’…. Go get haulin’. We’ll talk more when you get done.’
‘Yes, ma’am,’ we mumbled, backing away.
Uncle Larry stopped us with his hands on our shoulders and turned on Agnes. ‘Your fuckin’ pump ain’t busted, Agnes,’ he roared, ‘though I’ve a mind to go bust it right now. Shit, even a fool crazy as you oughta be able to figure that one out.’
Striding to the pump, he disentangled the dish towel, set the belt back on its runner and turned the tap. Water gushed forth. ‘That look like it’s busted?’ he sneered.
He walked to where he was looking down on Agnes again. ‘And another thing,’ he said, his hand on my shoulder, ‘this kid ain’t doin’ no chores. The doc back there give her somethin’ so’s she can sleep through the pain and that’s what she’s gonna do, Agnes, sleep.’ He pushed me towards the stairs.
Mounting them I heard Uncle Larry yell at Agnes to untie the kids on the porch else he’d have the cops out, but I felt so sleepy … so warm … I didn’t hear what Agnes said back. Besides, I couldn’t remember why … what … I was supposed to be doing up there. I lay down on the bed to try and figure it out.
TEN
Out of nowhere, it seemed, Cathy was beside me, hissing in my ear, shaking me, dragging me off the bed. ‘You gotta get a move on … get downstairs. Agnes has gone crazy-mad. Been screamin’ and yellin’ all mornin’ long. Poured boilin’ water on Sally’s hands ’cause she was washin’ slow and, boy, wait’ll you see the blisters….’
I couldn’t make any sense out of what she was saying. My head felt so fuzzy and my mouth so dry I couldn’t think at all. Cathy pulled me harder and I rolled over on my hand and instantly I remembered everything. The pump! The blood! My finger! Uncle Larry! Oh, Jesus! Oh, God!
‘He gone?’ I gasped, ‘Uncle Larry?’
‘Left yesterday,’ Cathy answered and paused a moment to smile. ‘Took time to give Agnes a black eye ’fore he left though!’
Oh, how I wished I’d seen him do that! And oh, how I wished he was still there to keep Agnes away from me.
‘What you s’pose she’ll do to me now?’ I gulped.
Cathy looked as scared as I felt. ‘Whatever it is, it ain’t gonna be nice,’ she said, pushing me towards the stairs.
From the bottom step I could see Agnes at the wash tub and quickly slid my bandaged hand behind my back. Agnes turned and saw me. ‘Hope you’re feelin’ rested bein’ all you done since yes’t’day is sleep,’ she growled.
‘Yes, ma’am.’
‘Hope you ain’t ’spectin’ no breakfast.’
‘No, ma’am.’
‘What’s that you got behind your back?’
‘Um … my hand, ma’am.’
‘Your hand, huh? Bring it here. I been wantin’ to have me a looksee. Cathy, go get me my scissors.’
Scissors? ‘No!’ I gasped, backing away. ‘Please, Mother….’
‘I ain’t your mother,’ Agnes snarled. ‘I was you’d be dead! It’s on account of you my own kids don’t come near! On account of you I had that pig, Larry, beatin’ up on me yesterday! Get over here!’
I struggled as hard as I could but she got my hand
out from behind my back and slammed it down on the table. Cathy handed her the scissors, then gave all her attention to the floor. Agnes cut the bandage away, tugging where dried blood had stuck it to my skin.
‘Why … this ain’t nothin’ but a itty-bitty scratch,’ she glowered staring at my discoloured, grossly swollen finger. ‘And that old fool put in four stitches? Jesus! Must think my name’s Rockefeller! Cathy, honey, let’s us take ’em out! Leastways, two. Go get me them little pointy scissors out of Betty’s room.’
More scissors? Little pointy scissors? While desperately trying to tug my hand free of Agnes’ vice-like grip, I begged her to leave them alone. ‘Please, ma’am … ’ I sobbed. ‘They already hurt real bad and the doctor said he’d maybe take a couple out Friday.’
‘You ain’t goin’ no place Friday, girl,’ Agnes snarled. ‘What? Pay that old fool extra when if I’d had my say I’d have just lopped the top of that finger right off. For free, too! Damn them interferin’ men!’
Over the racket of my screams and sobs, Agnes, frowning and squinting and complaining loudly at how tightly they were swollen in, picked and poked at the stitches with the points of the scissors, causing fresh blood to spurt and twice the pain the doctor had when he originally put them in.
‘Damn your noise,’ Agnes said at the last, shoving me aside. ‘Get out of here. Don’t want to see your face, hear that ugly voice no more today. Git!’
Once outside, blinded by tears and racked with sobs, I blundered forward intent only on putting as much distance between myself and Agnes as I could. I came to a confused halt at the sound of my name being called.
Squinting through my tears I looked around but saw no one. There it was again, ‘Sarah!’ and still I could not locate its source. On the off-chance it was my guardian angel, I looked heavenwards even though I knew in my heart that guardian angels were one more thing Mummy had been quite wrong about. If they were real, wouldn’t mine have kept me from falling on the pump yesterday? And would it have let Agnes beat me up and pull my stitches out just now? Come to think of it, why had it let James and me come to this frightening, dangerous place to live when, if it was doing its job, it could just as easily have found us a nice little home like the ones across from Bill’s store?
And that was just my angel. What about James’ angel? If mine was busy, his could have helped, couldn’t it?
Again I heard the voice, ‘Sarah!’ and that time I saw an arm waving from behind the barn.
All three boys were back there and I let out a little chuckle when I saw they were smoking. Next to candy, cigarettes were a favourite item with all us kids although we only got hold of them when the Old Man passed out. Without being asked, James reached out and let me have a puff of his.
‘We didn’t get but the three,’ he explained when I asked for one of my own, ‘on account of leaving him one in the pack….’ His voice trailed off and his eyes widened as he noticed my uncovered, hugely swollen, purple, black and blue finger still leaking blood. Wordlessly he pointed it out to Danny and Andy.
Cringing at the sight, Danny felt enough pity for me to let me have a puff of his cigarette and then, albeit reluctantly, Andy did the same.
Danny said, ‘Cigarettes wasn’t the only thing we got ahold of last night when the Old Man passed out. Take a guess at what else.’
‘A quarter?’ I ventured.
Barely able to restrain his mocking laughter, Danny said, ‘How about ten bucks?’
‘Ten bucks! I don’t believe you.’
‘It’s true!’ James said. ‘And we’re going to use it to run away!’
‘Yeah!’ Danny said. ‘She’s not beatin’ up on us no more!’ He pointed to an angry-looking black and blue welt running along his left jaw bone. ‘That’s where she got me with the mop handle yesterday. Right there!’
Andy, who rarely spoke, held out his arms and legs for me to look at and I saw dark, angry red welts all over them. ‘An’ we never even done nothin’!’ he muttered.
For a brief moment I stopped feeling sick and hungry and scared. ‘Let’s leave right now,’ I said. ‘We could get far, far away!’
‘You’re not goin’,’ James said quickly. ‘This is just us guys. Soon’s we get jobs and a place to stay, we’ll come back in the night and hide in the woods till we can sneak in and rescue you girls.’
‘That’s not fair,’ I gasped. ‘Us girls has to go now, too, else she’ll make us do all your work and I’m scared of the hogs and that crazy Suzy cow. And if I don’t do everything just right she’ll hit me. Right on my finger. You know she will.’
The boys stared at me and they stared at my finger and James said, ‘She’s right. We got to wait till her finger gets better.’
Just then I remembered something I had been told long ago and I said, ‘Remember, James, how Mummy used to say if ever we were in trouble or needed help to look for a policeman? If you went and found one and told him how wicked and cruel Agnes is, I bet he’d come right out and take us all away at the one time.’
Danny rolled over backwards laughing at me. ‘I can’t get over you’re that dumb,’ he chortled. ‘Nuts as well. Cops is grown-ups. We go talk to them alls they’ll do is bring us right back. Tell us we don’t know when we’re well off!’
Andy startled us by speaking again, ‘Ain’t nobody bringin’ me back, boy! They try, I’ll jump out the car. I’m goin’ tonight.’
‘No, you ain’t,’ Danny said. ‘You’re stayin’ put. We go, we go together.’
Just then the bell at the house rang for lunch and the boys took off running. James stopped and called back to me to hurry. I answered saying I couldn’t. I said, ‘Agnes said she didn’t want to see my face no more today.’
‘Come with me,’ James said. ‘I’ll take care of you!’
Yeah, sure. If he could take care of me we wouldn’t even be here, would we? I went with him anyway, partly because I was too hungry to stay behind, and partly because I thought Cathy or Sally might have done something to make Agnes mad at them and she’d have forgotten about my ugly face.
Something, indeed, must have happened because the Agnes sitting at the table was talking excitedly and didn’t even notice me, while my only thought was to eat my sandwich as fast as I could before she snatched it away and threw it in the hog slops.
Swallowing the last bite and once more able to pay attention to what was going on I saw that Agnes was glaring at Danny and I guessed she must have asked him a question he didn’t know how to answer. Cathy cleared her throat. Danny blinked and smiled a big, fake smile.
‘What’s the matter with you, boy?’ Agnes asked. ‘You’ve heard of a birthday party before, ain’t you?’
Danny made his smile go wider, ‘A birthday party!’ he exclaimed. ‘For me? Gee! Wow!’
Agnes’ smile came back and everyone giggled with relief. Agnes pushed her chair back from the table saying, ‘You girls clear up this table. Me’n the boys are gonna go get started building us a bar-be-cue like this here one I found,’ she waved a picture torn from a magazine. ‘Sally, run on down to the store pick up what I already called in.’
Alone in the kitchen with Cathy, I voiced my misgivings, ‘It don’t seem natural for Agnes to be doin’ somethin’ fun and nice for a change. It ain’t like her.’ I paused to let out a sigh. ‘Not but what she won’t still beat us up. Anyway, I figure I already missed my birthday this year, but if they’re fun and nice like they are in England I could pretend like I didn’t and maybe get one, too.’
Cathy looked worried. ‘We all got birthdays comin’ or goin’ and ain’t none of us dumb enough to talk about ’em. Not till we see what-all happens at Danny’s. How’re we supposed to know how to act, huh?’
‘In England,’ I began, ‘you play games and get presents and a cake and you get to blow out the candles on your cake and make a wish and everyone sings Happy Birthday to you.’
‘This ain’t England, remember?’ Cathy said with a roll of her eyes. ‘Shut up till we see….’<
br />
Under the trees in the orchard, Agnes and the boys were putting together a kind of low, square wall with some old bricks. Nearby, the door we used to pluck and gut the Saturday chickens on had been turned over on its stand to its clean side. Sally was standing next to it, her arms protectively cradling a package of hot dogs, a package of buns and a bag of marshmallows.
Cathy and I stared in disbelief. We were going to get to eat all that food? When we just ate lunch? Could Agnes be in a good mood?
Agnes was holding up the picture from the magazine for the boys to look at. ‘Look at it good,’ she urged. ‘Stack them bricks right and leave spaces in between ’em like it shows. If it works like it’s supposed to we’ll cement the bricks together next time we got left-over cement from makin’ another path.’
Following Cathy’s lead, Sally and I tried to find the correct stance for a barbecue birthday party. Hands behind our backs or arms folded in front? Behind our backs felt best.
We tried out different faces. Frowning and serious? Smiling and happy? How about surprised? As if watching Agnes and the boys was really surprising? Nah…. We looked down at the ground and that felt safest.
‘We’re going to light the fire now,’ Agnes announced. We faked big, excited smiles and moved forward. Agnes handed a packet of matches to Danny. ‘Bein’ you’re the birthday boy,’ she said, ‘you get to light the fire.’
Even though Danny’s hands were trembling a little from all the unaccustomed attention he was getting, he managed to strike a match. He touched it to the paper and twigs but it went out. ‘You got to blow on it, dammit,’ Agnes growled.
Danny struck a second match, touched it to the paper and blew and blew. A puff of smoke appeared but no flames.
‘Give me them matches!’ Agnes growled, ‘Jesus Christ! How come I have to do every damn thing around here?’ She stepped forward quickly, lost her balance and would have fallen heavily if Danny hadn’t grabbed her by the elbow and steadied her.
Pushing her glasses back up her nose, Agnes smiled down lovingly on Danny. ‘How come you just tried to trip me, boy?’ she purred.
A Home in the Country Page 12
