“Then why were you looking for a drug dealer?”
“Oh,” she said. “I was going to kill him.”
* * * * *
“So what is it?” asked the Prince.
“She was looking around the Bottom for a fellow named Finn Blackwood,” said Bob, looking pensive. “The only problem is that he’s been dead since before she was born.”
“Who was he?”
“He was the head of the local drug cartel, completely controlling the white opthalium trade in Brech City. When she found out he was dead, she began searching for his replacement, currently a bloke named Simon McCleary.”
“Why was she looking for him?”
“I don’t know, Your Highness, but I can make a supposition.”
“Just tell me,” said Clitus, annoyed.
“It’s possible that Blackwood sold white opthalium to her father when he was living here in Brech.”
“Her father was an addict?”
“Yes. Her mother too, though I gather she was able to recover.”
“Kafira’s blood!” The Prince slammed both his fists to the sides of his head. “I’m so stupid!”
“Your Highness?”
“I was making jokes about people on white opthalium, and here she was dealing with the effect it had on her own parents.”
“You didn’t know,” said Bob. “I suspect she forgave you for just that reason.”
“Ugh, I’m a terrible friend.”
“You’re a good friend, Your Highness, and you can be even an even better one.”
“How?”
“We can make this Simon McCleary disappear.”
“Can we?”
“It’s easily done, Your Highness,” said Mr. Meanie, up until now, sitting quietly in the corner. “The problem is that Blackbottom is a cesspool. It’s only a matter of time before some other piece of shit floats to the top.”
“At least I won’t have to worry about Lady Terra being arrested for killing him.”
Chapter Fourteen: The Talisman
Lord Augustus Dechantagne sat in a chair at a conference table in The Office of Lizzie Affairs. Around him were seated Mr. Millard Tomley Esq., Mr. James Dawes Esq. and Amoz Croffut, the three of them, with the exception of two secretaries, the entire complement of the organization. The young lord flipped through the papers in front of him and blew air between his lips.
“I don’t think you gentlemen understood what I wanted.”
“You wanted to expand,” said Tomley. “We’re planning to more than double our staff.”
“Two more lawyers and four more secretaries.”
“Exactly,” said Dawes.
“Look,” said Augie. “Up until now, all you’ve done is help the lizzies here in Port Dechantagne when they’ve come afoul of our laws and customs. There’s nothing wrong with that. Yes, you need more help in order to fulfill that mission. You should definitely hire these additional people. But I want this office to keep track of all the lizzies in and around Birmisia Colony.
He looked at Amoz Croffut.
“You’re a military man, Croffut. When I need intel on the lizzies, I want to be able to come to you and for you to have it.”
“You mean you want it available for Governor Staff, don’t you?” said Croffut.
“I mean both of us.”
He pulled a paper out of his breast pocket, unfolded it, and handed it across the table. Croffut read it over and then handed it back.
“All right. So you have the full authority of the Governor.”
“Yes, so when I tell you to hire the people you’ve found, you should do it. You should also get more secretaries, at least one statistician or accountant, a military liaison, a linguist, and at least one anthropologist… or would you call it a reptiologist?”
“The term would be cultural herpetologist,” said Croffut, “but I don’t think there is such a thing.”
“Well find someone. I’d recommend Tiber Stephenson as your liaison, but hire whoever you want.” He looked up through the glass wall that separated the conference room from the outer office, and a smile broke across his face. “You’ll excuse me, gentlemen. My other appointment is here.”
Zoantheria stood at the far side of the large room in a beautiful sleeveless sky blue day dress. It was decorated across the breast with white lace and trimmed down its length in blue bows. She had a smart white boater atop her curled blond hair. She grinned when she saw him hurry across the room to her. When they touched, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Then she licked his chin, neck, and finally his ear.
“You are so yummy!” she said. “I could just eat you up.”
“Did you have an extra large breakfast this morning?” he asked, pulling back a bit.
“I did. I ate a two young iguanodons.” She cocked her head and raised a brow. “You don’t think I would really eat you. Do you?”
“Of course not, my love. Still, better to ask the question than to assume the answer.”
“Are you done with your meeting?” she asked, excitedly. “Are you done? Are you done? Are you?”
“It so happens that I am done for now. What is it that has tickled your enthusiasm?”
“I have to show you. It’s so wonderful.”
“Well then, let’s go,” he said. “I assume you’re driving.”
Grinning, she led him by the hand out of the office building to where her car sat steaming away. He climbed up into the passenger side, as she got behind the wheel. Seconds later, they were zipping up Bainbridge Clark Street, and through the gate in the Emergency Wall.
“Where are we going?” he asked, as the vehicle careened around the corner of Shadow Street.
“I met some new people,” she said. “They just bought a house at the west edge of town. They’re from Arbrax.”
“Arbrax? Are they polar bears?”
“No, silly. They’re perfectly nice people, and they said I could visit their house any time.”
She brought the car to a stop in front of a new home. It was constructed in the recently popular all wood style, with a high sloping roof. Zoey hopped out and ran around back to release the steam. By the time Augie stepped out of the car, she was there to take his hand and lead him down a walkway that led past the south side of the house and into the back. The property didn’t seem to have a proper garden, just a carefully placed path that led through pine trees as thick as anywhere in the colony.
“Are you sure we’re allowed here?”
“They said I was welcome anytime.”
The path came to an end before what appeared to be a tiny version of the house. It was constructed of pine and stood at full height with the same sloping roof, but was no more than twenty by twelve feet in dimension. Zoey opened the door and stepped inside, pulling Augie along with her. Inside was a small anteroom with hooks and cubbyholes presumably for the temporary storage of clothing. Beyond that, was an unadorned wooden wall, with a wood door that had a twelve by twelve inch window at face height.
“Take off your clothes and hang them up,” said Zoey.
“What is this?” he asked.
“I’ll explain it all when you’re naked.”
“Um, explain it to me now.”
“It’s a sauna!” she squealed. “It’s, well, it’s a hot room.”
“Yes, I think I’ve heard the term before.”
“Udo me,” she said, turning her back.
With a shrug, he began working the two dozen buttons on the back of her dress. As soon as he had most of them unfastened, she shimmied out of it and began to doff her undergarments. Augie pulled off his jacket and hung it on a peg, before taking off his trousers. He had one leg out, when the door burst open and a shotgun entered, followed by the middle-aged man who was carrying it.
“Who are you?” he growled.
“It’s me, Mr. Björgan. It’s Zoey.”
“Zoantheria?” he asked, squinting at her.
“Yes, it’s me.”
&n
bsp; “Oh. Well then, you go right ahead. Sorry about the gun.”
He stepped back out and closed the door. Zoey turned to Augie, revealing that her over-the-bust corset had slipped down, exposing one bosom.
“Hurry up.”
Shedding the last of her underclothes, she picked up a heretofore-unnoticed coalscuttle, opened the inner door, and slipped inside. Augie finished undressing and, careful to fold and safely store his clothes, followed her.
“Holy Kafira! It’s got to be a hundred degrees in here.”
“I know. Isn’t it wonderful?”
She poured the new coals over a bed of older white remains that were arranged in a special furnace, next to which was a bucket of water with a ladle. Then she bent down with her face right near the furnace and blew. With several more deep breaths, she brought the level of heat up as the new coal caught fire and burned, and at the same time, gave her companion ample opportunity to observe her naked bottom. At last she turned around with a grin, scooped out a ladle full of water and poured it onto the now glowing coals. Immediately, the room filled with steam.
She sat down next to him, and wrapping her arms around him, pulled him into a naked embrace. Between the heat, the steam, and her, Augie was feeling overwhelmed.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this warm,” he said.
“It’s wonderful. You’re sweating,” she observed, and then licked his upper lip and then his forehead. “Mmm. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good.”
* * * * *
Zoey stepped into the parlor to find Senta entertaining two of her friends. Thirty-one year old Gabrielle Drake and her younger sister Abigail sat next to one another on the sofa, while Senta was draped across the overstuffed chair just to its side. Both visiting women were radiantly beautiful, with sparkling blue eyes and ash brown hair. All three women sipped tea.
“You’ve finally decided to come home?” asked Senta.
“It’s not dinner yet,” said Zoey, glancing at the clock on the mantle. “Are you ladies staying?”
“We thought if we stayed long enough that she’d invite us,” said Gabby, “but so far it hasn’t worked.”
“You’re both invited, of course,” said Senta. “I trust you don’t mind eating toads and spiders.”
Gabby laughed musically, but Abby looked unsure of whether that was a joke.
“Cheery!” Senta called the butler. “Tell cook four for dinner.”
Zoey sat in the chair opposite Senta.
“Zoey,” said Senta. “I was just telling Abby here that she needs to get out and find a man.”
“It’s not that easy,” said Abby. “There are lots of men around, but its are to find a good one.”
“And it’s good to find a hard one,” said Senta. “You should lure in Lord Dechantagne.”
“He’s taken!” snapped Zoey.
The two visitors looked startled at her tone.
“Zoantheria is under the illusion that she is a human being and a woman,” said Senta, “and that she will marry Lord Dechantagne, and live happily ever after.”
“Maybe she could make it work,” said Gabby. “She does make a very convincing person, and I’ve heard that our young lord is taken with her.”
“What do you know about it?” glared the sorceress.
“He’s too young for me anyway,” said Abby.
“There’s a lot to be said for a younger man,” said Senta. “All that stamina.”
“There’s a lot to be said for an older man,” said Gabby. “Not that Kaspar is that much older than me, but experience does count.”
“That is true too,” admitted Senta, thoughtfully.
“If you wish to see me in dragon form,” said Zoey to Senta, “you should be up early in the morning. Come to the garden and I shall be very happy to eat you.”
“Idle words from an idle dragon,” said the sorceress, waving her hand dismissively. “Why will you be in your natural form in the morning?”
“I will be leaving by wing and will be gone for a fortnight. I won’t be taking this form the entire time I’m gone.”
“You’re visiting that monster again?”
“Yes, I will be visiting the monster… in Yessonarah.”
Senta’s face broke into a smile.
“That’s my girl! You see? I can’t stay cross at you when you behave properly.”
“You mean, when I do what you want me to do.”
“The two are the same,” said Senta. Then noticing a signal from the lizzie butler, “Dinner is served, ladies.”
* * * * *
Early the next morning, Zoey climbed out of bed and stood naked, before the cheval glass, examining herself. She enjoyed looking at her human form. She constantly found new ways to add to the verisimilitude—a dimple, a mole, a wrinkle. She didn’t bother getting dressed, but walked downstairs to the garden. Senta wasn’t up and Zoey hadn’t really expected her to be. Stepping out into the center of the garden, the dragon released her enchantment and transformed into her true self.
She stretched out her wings and fanned the air. The diminishing space of the garden told her that she had grown quite a bit even since the beginning of summer. Leaning her head down, she examined her image in the reflection of the glass door. She had to admit, she was the most beautiful dragon in the world. He coral tinted scales reflected the morning light that reached her from behind the house. The horns around her head, and the spikes down her back had grown longer, as had the whiskers around her mouth. With no effort at all, she launched herself into the sky, and within minutes was shooting out over the coastline and above the deep blue ocean.
The air above the ocean was cooler than it was over the land, but Zoantheria didn’t mind it. The feeling of freedom more than made up for it. She looked down into the water below. Her dragon’s eyes could see so much more than any other creature’s. They could see far into the infrared and high into the ultraviolet, as well as the invisibile and magic, and she could see, in what to a human eye, would seem like complete darkness. No darkness was ever complete. Now, she could see schools of schools of fish in the water below being preyed upon by sharks and xyphactinus, and great long-necked marine reptiles being chased by kronosaurs as big as she was. And below them, barely moving, as they filtered their food from the water, were fish larger than any human eye had ever seen—larger than a human brain could even imagine. Below them were creepy crawlie monsters, resembling nothing more than the bugs one might find in a typical Brech garden, but the size of dinner tables.
Nothing looked appetizing. Then she saw them—a pod of platypterygius swimming a mile to her right. Twenty-five feet long, the marine reptiles had the body shape of a large shark, but with a long, beaked mouth in front. This particular group had nearly two dozen full-sized adults, and nearly twice that number of smaller juveniles. With a flick of her wing tips, she shot toward them. Swooping down low, she came up on them from behind, as they shot through the water like torpedoes, porpoising up every hundred yards or so to catch a breath.
She lined up with a large one, matching its speed, until it came of for a breath. She grabbed it with all four limbs as her wings sent her back up into the sky. A quick flick of her tail barb knocked the platypterygius’s brains out, literally and figuratively. Though the aquatic reptile was almost half her weight, she carried it easily enough. Four miles to the northwest, she came upon a familiar rocky atoll, and sat down with her breakfast.
Platypterygius didn’t taste quite like anything else. It wasn’t as gamey as the kronosaurs. It tasted fresh, like the sea, and its meat was dark red and filled with blood. Zoantheria stripped off a huge filet with her razor sharp claws and stuffed it into her mouth.
“Mmm.”
She was on her second bite when a shadow passed overhead. This alone wasn’t cause for concern, for while there were many large flying creatures, including the quetzalcoatlus that was nearly her size, none of them posed any danger to her. It was the prickly sensation of magic that instead alerted
her. Dropping down toward her was a dragon larger than herself, nearly the same size as Bessemer. Like Bessemer, this dragon’s scales were like shiny metal. In fact, the scales of this dragon were much shinier than those of the steel dragon. When the sun reflected off them, it was almost painful. She jumped aside, but the stranger came to a slow stop above the rocky islet and hovered.
“Greetings Zoantheria, Goddess of the Sea, Navigation, and Commerce.”
“Commerce, eh?” said Zoey. “I do enjoy shopping. Who the hell are you and what do you want?”
“I am Argentine and I bring you greetings from Lord Aurium.”
“Who the hell is Lord Aurium?”
“He is the great gold dragon. Do you mind if I land? I was waiting to be invited, but it seems that someone is lacking manners.”
With a wave of her hand Zoey indicated that he could, and Argentine dropped lightly onto the rocks.
“Would you like to eat some of my lunch too?” she asked, sarcastically.
“Thank you,” he said, ripping off the entire head and biting though the platypterygius’s beaky snout. “I’ve worked up quite an appetite.”
Zoey leaned forward and looked the dragon over. Yes, his scales were bright, but there was more. His spikes were long and pointed, his whiskers were carefully groomed, and his face was so expressive. For a moment, she thought that he must be the prettiest dragon in the world. No, that was silly. He was the second prettiest. She was clearly superior in beauty.
“So you’re not gold… you’re silver. Silver in service to gold? Isn’t that a bit on the nose?”
Argentine shrugged.
“So what does old gold want with me?”
“He wants your allegiance, of course. Your dedication to the cause of good.”
“What good?” wondered Zoey.
“The good that is good. Aurium leads the good dragons. Voindrazius leads the evil dragons.”
“Good compared to what?” wondered the coral dragon. “Evil compared to what? What is evil to one person may be good to another.”
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