by Angela Peach
A little under a year ago, Tina had been delighted to start work in the hospital after requesting to be placed there. She had followed the story of Nicola X in the newspapers and had been inextricably attracted, her common sense over-riding her attraction by telling herself it was the academics of Nicola’s mind that interested her.
Tina began slowly. Every love begins slowly. Every hatred begins slowly. Sometimes there is no way of knowing whether it is love or hate that is beginning. There is little to separate love from hate, little to separate a love from a love…from one woman to another…from a Malena to a Helena…from a Nina to a Tina. Where do insanity and reality meet? They meet in hearts split by love.
Tina sat in the corner of Nicola’s room and she watched, listening to the heartache that was spoken in Nicola’s words. Tina saw a lot more than she had let on to Dr Hunter. Inside of Tina, there were a million stories that needed to be told.
Inside of Nicola, a million stories were telling themselves in her mind. What separates one mind from another when love can bond them?
Tina crept into the room of Nicola, almost a year since their first meeting and Tina waited, knowing the signs.
At midnight, Nicola would move from Nick’s Scottish accent to Nikki’s American one, her manner would jump from misery to optimism. Tina watched it all, her heart soaring and dropping as she found herself falling in love.
“I’ll hold your hand every night,” Tina told Nicola.
Nicola squeezed her hand.
“I’ll never let go,” Tina whispered.
*** *** ***
What comes first? The joy of love or the broken heart? Who is the lover and who has the broken heart? In life, you take a smile from another and you try to own it, to pretend that smile is for you but it’s always for them. The lover comes before the love.
That stupid heart that beats and breaks is a betrayal you’ll never stop because when your heart looks, it gives itself away, and there’s no coming back from where your heart has turned its stupid eyes.
Every love is stupid.
Every lover is filled with stupidity. Their heart will be broken, their mind will be twisted and what they once thought normal, will turn their veins cold with terror.
Every love is a terror.
*** *** ***
When I close my eyes, I am Nikki.
When I open my eyes, I am Nick.
In between, I am forced to be Nicola.
I have love and hate in the palms of my imaginary hands. I’ll never let this go because I’ll never be unhappy but I’ll never be fulfilled. There are only simple moments when I open my eyes and I can see everything. Every turn in my life that has lead me here, I can see. I can see every turn that has taken Nikki to find her love in Malena. I can see the road that Nick needs to walk down to find Helena again.
I hate them all. They make my heart break. Every fucking woman I have loved has taken my heart and thrown it into a shredder, while I stood and watched.
I have given them all me and they’ve taken me. Where am I?
Who will love me?
*** *** ***
The door opens slowly on number forty-seven’s room. There is a girl on the bed, her knees held up to her chest, wearing white loose trousers and a short-sleeved white shirt. She is staring ahead, as she rocks gently, mumbling to herself in the padded cell.
“It’s me again,” Tina tells her.
Angela Peach is the author of 47, The Blurring, In Reflection, Playing My Love, A Darker Kind of Love and a short story collection, Chill. Her next novel, Rhythm in my Heart is due to be published later in 2018.
You can contact Angela at:
Facebook — facebook.com/Angela-Peach
Twitter — @angelapeach1
Website — www.angelapeach1.com
S J Campbell is the author of Violet’s Story, The Knowing, Diary of a Broken Heart, The Strange Adventures of Mavis Street, Ishinnie and a short story collection, Little Whispers. His latest novel, currently untitled, is due to be published at the end of the year.
You can contact Scott at:
Facebook — facebook.com/AlbaScott1970
Twitter — @AlbaScott1970
Website — ringe709.wixsite.com/sjcampbell
Both authors also had a story included in the short story collection L Is For, released to raise money for the charity R U Coming Out.
If you have enjoyed this book, we ask that you please leave a review on Amazon and thank you for your support.
