“Good enough to be your date now?” She asks with a grin. I find myself nodding, having to hold back from saying what I’m thinking.
She looks good enough to be a whole lot more than a date.
I pay, despite the managers' insistence that there’s no need, before leading Zoe out of the store by her hand. It seems appropriate, given that we’re supposed to be acting like a couple. Plus there’s the bonus of getting to keep her near me and letting any potential admirers know that she’s off–limits.
I shouldn’t be thinking like that. I know. But with her hand in mine, something feels different between us now. It’s the first time in a long time that we’ve been outside of work together, and I can’t stop my mind from wandering to what life might be like with her.
***
Our shopping spree takes us from store to store, as Zoe tries on dress after dress. I can tell she’s reluctant to admit that she likes any. I’d buy her anything she wanted if she would just ask, but even she can’t hide the look on her face when she next steps out of the dressing room. A gorgeous silk wrap dress, three–quarter sleeves, in a stunning jewel–green. It hugs and skims her curves in all the right places. I can’t take my eyes off her. I don’t even try.
“I think we found the one,” she says with excitement, turning to look at herself in the mirror. She looks back to me and mistakes my expression for something else. “Oh, don’t worry, we’re done now. You’ll be free to go and get back to work. I know what you’re like.”
I don’t want this to be over. The thought pops into my head, and I know I have to find some excuse to extend the evening together. “Well, I mean, no – you’ll need the full package, of course. Shoes, purse, jewelry. Even lingerie, I suppose.”
“Lingerie?!” Zoe balks at the idea, throwing the curtain open as she emerges once again, dressed in her slacks and a button–down shirt. But my mind can’t shift the image of that dress, the way it hugged her breasts and highlighted her cleavage. I’ve always preferred curvy women, and Zoe was certainly one of them, but I’d always made an effort not to think of her that way, certain that she didn’t feel the same. But now, after that, I can’t think of anything but.
“I thought you said you wanted this done properly,” I tease, taking the bag from the saleswoman.
“Yeah, but… Is that necessary? I mean, it’s not like we..” She gestures between us, and it doesn’t do anything to help the picture of her I have in my mind right now.
“Well, no. I mean, you said so yourself, you don’t sleep with guys on the first date.” I give her a friendly nudge with my elbow, hoping some humor will help to defuse the sexual tension.
“Hmm, well, that’s true. Though buy me a nice enough piece of jewelry, and you might get lucky after all.” She grins, linking her arm in mine as we walk. It’s just me overthinking this whole situation. I can’t help feeling happy that she’s having fun, but there’s a part of me now wishing it could be so much more than that.
A part of me that I worry I won’t be able to control for much longer.
6
Zoe
* * *
Our trip through some of the richest streets in New York finally seems to be coming to a close, with Blake carrying several bags, and his card having taken quite a beating – although it’s probably barely even a scratch on his bank balance – when he suddenly stops me, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“A practice run!” He says as if the idea only just occurred to him.
“Hm?” I mutter, his words coming out of nowhere.
“Yeah, I don’t know how I didn’t think of it before. We’ll need a practice date, you know. Make sure we’re able to sit at a table together to eat dinner without being awkward.”
“I know it might be hard for you to picture me away from a desk, but I do know how to sit and eat food.” He gives me that look he reserves for when I’m being a smartass.
“I meant so that we can make sure we know everything about each other. Eric isn’t easily fooled, you know. He’s going to be practically interviewing the both of us to try and catch us out.”
“Oh, well. That’s easy for me. I already know everything there is to know about you. I don’t think there’s anything left to surprise me at this point.”
He pauses to think for a moment before nodding slowly. “You’re right. I hadn’t thought of that. I guess you do know me pretty well.” But then his face puts on that familiar smirk and he leans in to whisper, “But I bet I can still surprise you when it counts.”
***
Blake decides the ‘practice run’ should be dinner at his apartment, and he’s right, he does surprise me – I didn’t know he could cook.
As we step out of the elevator, I’m in awe of the place. I’ve been there a couple of times before, but I’ve never really looked, only ever stopping by to pick up dry cleaning at the door or drop off a package for him. Now, as I take my time walking from room to room while Blake gets to work on dinner, I can’t help noticing how the place looks so good, it’s almost impersonal. It’s as if he hasn’t even been living there, it’s just a hotel he’s staying at. Which, I suppose, is true enough. He does spend so much time at work, that he hasn’t had the chance to make his house a home.
“Hey, Zo, come taste this would you? I can’t tell if it’s terrible, or it’s so good I’ve wasted my life in publishing.” I come out into the kitchen to find him with his jacket slung over the counter, stirring a pot of something that does smell rather good. “Spaghetti,” he continues, like the pot of boiling noodles didn’t give it away. “Pretty much the only thing I know how to make.”
He brings the wooden spoon to my lips, just like in the movies. “Salt. And basil. Let me help. My grandma couldn’t cook anything else either, but she did make a hell of a spaghetti.” He goes to a cupboard which barely has anything in it, searching through little jars of dried herbs for a second.
“I know it’s frowned upon, but will dried basil do?” He asks, holding up one of the jars.
“Well, I’m pretty sure they won’t let you into Italian heaven, but it’ll do for tonight.” While I’m stood at the stovetop, I can feel Blake’s eyes burning into the back of my head. When I turn back to him to offer him a taste, I catch him staring at me with a strange look in his eye. Something I can’t quite place, but that still takes my breath away. We both paused for a moment, the spoon suspended in mid–air, and I feel… no, no, I’m being stupid. “You know what, I think it tastes great. Let’s eat.”
I begin plating up while Blake remains silent. What was that? I’ve got butterflies in my stomach, and I can’t shake the way he was looking at me like he wanted to say or do something, but he was afraid to. But as usual, I’m probably just projecting my feelings onto him. All this fake date stuff is starting to get inside my head.
7
Blake
* * *
I’ve gotta sort my head out.
As I watched her cooking in my apartment, I couldn’t shift the feeling of how I would enjoy spending time here so much more if she were always around. She lights up the room with her smile, her energy, and I have to question if that’s the real reason I’ve been so focused on work in recent years – because that’s where Zoe is.
We sit down to eat, and Zoe finally pulls me from my thoughts when she asks, “So, is there anything you need to know about me?”
“Well, uh, I don’t know. What kind of things do people who are dating even talk about?”
“I guess, where you grew up, what your relationship is like with your parents, what you wanted to be when you were growing up… You know, the basics.” She takes a bite of her neatly twirled spaghetti, moaning in delight.
“In that case then, I grew…”
“Up here in Manhattan, you went to school at Yale, your mom ran benefits and charity events while your dad worked too much. Your mom and dad split up because your dads work, and you see your mother for brunch every Sunday morning.” Zoe reels off my answer for me, almost do
wn to the letter. “See, I told you I knew you. But what did you want to be when you were growing up? I don’t think you’ve ever really mentioned.”
She tucks back into her food as I’m left wondering how Zoe could know me so well that she can almost read my mind. “Well…” I exhale through pursed lips, pushing food around my plate. “I don’t know. I don’t think I ever wanted to be anything. Things just sort of happened to me.”
She gives a sympathetic look, tilting her head. “But I mean, you wanted to launch Substyle, right? That was your baby, you always say how proud you are.”
“Yeah, but, it was just easy for me, I guess. I didn’t have to think about whether I wanted to pursue it or not. I just got lucky that it took off in the way it did.”
Zoe is quiet for several moments as we eat, and I realize what I said is true. I’ve never had to want for anything. Everything just happened to me in the way I assumed it would. One after the other. A life on rails.
“Well,” she says, breaking the silence. “It doesn’t sound like a bad life, I suppose. At least you’re happy, you’re successful. A lot of people work their whole lives for what you have.”
For the first time, it hits me that I want something that I can’t have. That’s what I feel when I look at her – I want Zoe. A drunken kiss and five years later, here we are, eating dinner together in my apartment, and I don’t want her to leave.
8
Zoe
* * *
To say today has been a weird day is one hell of an understatement.
Blake is staring at me with a look that has my stomach in knots and my nipples hardening under my shirt. I tell myself I'm imagining it, that I'm just seeing what I want to see. Perhaps this was a terrible idea. Perhaps I’m just opening myself up to getting hurt by Blake all over again. I made a fool of myself at that party years ago, and I’m convinced I’m doing the same thing right now.
Once dinner is over, I realize we haven’t exactly gone over where I grew up, or what my parents are like, but I have to get myself out of his apartment before I do something stupid. “I should probably call a cab then,” I say as I stand, nervously playing with the hem of my shirt. Blake just nods with his back to me.
I knew it. I’ve made this night weird and now he’s too embarrassed to even look at me. He’ll probably cancel the whole bet just so that he doesn’t have to spend another awkward evening with me. I go to gather my things, wondering just how far–reaching this whole mess will be.
Until his hands are on my waist, turning me towards him, and his lips are pressed against mine.
I can’t help it. Despite everything I’ve told myself, every thought I’ve had to try and convince myself of what a terrible idea this is, I find my body melting against his, wrapping my arms around his neck as his hands roam from my waist, down my thighs over my ass. He presses us closer together, and I do the same, desperate to be near him.
Without stopping, he lifts me into his arms, and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning against his ear, he moves his lips across my jaw, down to my neck, one hand between us as he pulls at my shirt, sending buttons scattering across the floor without a care in the world.
It’s happening so quickly, I barely have time to catch my breath. He drops me down onto the bed, pulling his shirt off as I kick away my pants. I don’t know where this has all come from, I don’t even have time to consider if it’s a good idea or not – I don’t fucking care.
“Fuck me,” I gasp, my breathing frantic and my voice heated. He shifts me up on the bed, kissing me again with a ferocious hunger, quickly disposing of my bra and panties. He stands back to look at me as I prop myself up on my elbows, my creamy curves laid bare for him. I’ve never felt self–conscious about the way I looked. I made peace with my size 16 curves long ago. But with Blake’s eager eyes drinking me in, I feel like a fucking goddess.
He slips off his pants, and his cock is already hard. He strokes his palm down the length, squeezing the head as he groans through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he moans, a drop of pre–come leaking from the head, and my pussy quivers.
“You won’t. It’ll be worth it. I want you.”
“I need you,” he replies, pushing me back down on the bed as he parts my thighs with his body. I look down between our bodies to see the size of his cock, the throbbing head pressing against my lips. I throw my head back as Blake clasps his hands either side of my head, and almost fills me to the brink with one deep, powerful thrust.
I moan out as I wrap my arms around his torso, clinging on to Blake as he begins thrusting in slow but rough pulses. He presses his face into my neck, nipping at my neck between low, primal grunting. He’s like an animal, and I’m his prey, and I never want to fall victim to anyone else like this.
“Fuck,” he groans against my skin, as I feel my orgasm building. I put my legs around his waist again, and Blake lifts my upper body off the bed. Every time he pulls back, I can feel my pussy trying to pull him in deeper, desperate to feel that huge cock filling my tight pussy.
“Look at me,” he commands, pulling back to face me. He continues thrusting deep, and I know he can tell I’m close. There’s no mistaking it now, no room to overthink anything anymore – his eyes are filled with nothing but pure lust. “Come for me,” he says, out of breath and barely holding on himself.
Like a switch, I do. Moans turn to screams, and I worry for a second that I’m hurting Blake by digging my nails into his back, but he only thrusts harder still as my pussy clenches and climaxes around his dick. And then I simply can’t think at all anymore, a trembling, stuttering asp running through my body as Blake cradles me, and it’s only then that I realize he came at the same time, having been too lost in the blinding pleasure.
As we both come down from our highs, Blake lays me down on the bed, our bodies slick with sweat, and the smell of sex hanging in the air. He’s still buried inside of me, and my eyes widen when I feel him growing hard again, almost instantly.
“Already?” I gasp, out of breath.
“You have no idea how good that felt baby.” He runs a hand across my stomach, kneading my flesh. I see a smile tug at his lips when I arch my body towards him, as his hand comes to squeeze my breast.
God, I need him. I pull his head down, kissing him as I moan against his lips, “Then do it again.”
9
Blake
* * *
Fuck me.
She shouldn’t have said that.
It unleashed something primal and animalistic in me, and I had to have my cock deep in her pussy right then. It’s like I couldn’t get deep enough, couldn’t get close enough to her, pressing her body against mine just to feel those perfect big breasts bouncing.
I could feel her arousal pulling me deeper with every thrust like she was begging for my seed. Who was I to deny the lady what she wants? And to feel her exploding around me, her body vibrating with pleasure, I couldn’t have held back even if I wanted to.
We fuck and fuck, our bodies crashing together over and over again until neither of us can take any more. We finally collapsed onto the bed together after hours of the most intense fucking – no, it’s not that, it’s more than that, we’re making love – Zoe huddles her body against my side, spent and exhausted.
Neither of us wants to address what’s just happened, I can feel the tension in the air. It feels like only moments ago that she was getting ready to leave, an awkward silence separating us as I thought over everything that’s happened in the past five years.
Don’t do it, I’d told myself. Don’t ruin this. Don’t drive her away. Don’t kiss her.
But I couldn’t not. I couldn’t stand to hold off for a minute longer. Five years of feelings that I’d kept hidden away came rushing to the surface, and there wasn’t a force on earth that could have kept me from taking her into my arms.
She didn’t stop me. She didn’t pause. She didn’t even hesitate. She wanted this just as much as I did. And it’s her little gasp of
‘I want you’ that is the last thought to cross my mind, as I finally slip over the edge and fall asleep with Zoe in my arms.
***
I’m the first to wake up in the morning. There’s a brief moment of panic before I feel the weight of Zoe on the other side of the bed. I sit up to watch her with a contented sigh. I can’t believe she’s there, sleeping in my bed – but I also can’t believe I’ve let it take five years to get to this point.
I’d be more than happy to just sit here in silence, watching her, but her groggy little morning voice has me grinning.
“I didn’t want to wake you.” She rolls over to face me, looking more beautiful than ever in the morning light.
“Fancy seeing you here.” She laughs into the sheets before sitting up, wrapping it around her. I almost reach out and pull it away, not wanting her to cover herself, but I figure I should at least give her a moment or two before I unleash myself on her again.
“So…” She begins with a long, slow inhale. “You never did ask me what I wanted when I was growing up.”
I settle into a more comfortable position and clear my throat. “Okay then. What did you want when you were growing up?”
She reaches out to touch my arm, her eyes filled with sincerity. “You. I’ve had a crush on you since I was like, 15. I always told myself I was being stupid, that it would never happen, but oh my god…”
“You had a crush on me?” I tease, admiring the way her cheeks blush. “Well, you didn’t have to go all the way through college, come get a job for me, kiss me at an office party, wait five years, and then finally admit it after having crazy, insane sex with me. You couldn’t just write me fan mail like every other teenage girl does.”
But I can’t make fun of her. Not right now. There’s something real and raw about her confession, and I lean in to steal a kiss before she pulls back sharply.
His Love Page 2
