by Alexis Angel
Settling back on my chair at the head of the desk, I look at my Chief of Staff, Curtis. He’s sitting next to Michele, my Press Secretary. He was the one who scheduled this meeting, anxious to stop this situation from reaching the point of no return. Going down the road of sitting down with Tina Ling—who I don’t trust and know is lying. But he seems to think there’s no other recourse. So he summoned her as well. The most important members of my cabinet drove up to the NY State Executive Mansion, and now here we are, huddled in a room as we decide on the fate of Vivian Hawthorne.
I want to solve this as much as Curtis does, but I’m not sure I like what I see in Tina’s eyes: blood lust. We have become like the Spanish Inquisition, deciding who we are going to set fire to. There are no acquittals or assumptions of innocence; someone will have to burn, that much is a given... And my job is to make sure it isn’t the Governor’s office going up in flames.
“It might not be pretty, but…” Curt starts, fidgeting with his thumbs. He has that look in his face, the same one people have when they’re trying to figure out if they should turn left or right at the intersection. On one hand, he’s my Chief of Staff, but on the other… He just can’t hide how much he agrees with Tina. “Mrs. Ling is right. This is our way out. This is our opening… And we should take it.”
I look from one to the other and then around the table, anxiety in everyone’s eyes; they’re ready to pile up the wood, grab the pitchforks and light the torches. All they is need my nod and Vivian’s body strapped to a pole. When did the Governor’s cabinet turn into a lynch mob?
All in all, there are thirteen of us around the table—an oddly fitting number for such a somber meeting. Everyone’s waiting for me to say the word. They have no idea what they’re asking of me. And if they do, they just don’t care. After all, their careers are on the line as well… At least, that’s one of the points Tina has been hammering on since this meeting started. She’s trying to rouse my cabinet and undermine my authority, and she isn’t even hiding it.
“Is that what everyone thinks we should do? Go after the Senator?” I ask, my throat feeling as dry as summer wood. There’s a nervous silence in the room, and then Curtis clears his throat.
“It’s the only way,” he starts, flat certainty in his voice. “We take her out, lay the blame at her feet. Once she’s out of the Senate, we might just be able to place someone more… amiable in her position.” I stare at him in silence, trying to clear my mind and think through what he’s saying. This is my job after all—to make tough calls. I’ve made countless decisions since I assumed the title of Governor, a lot of them hard ones, but this one towers above all others. For the first time in years, I have no idea on what I should do. Throwing Vivian under the bus would be the easy way out, but I’m not sure if I’m the kind of man capable of doing such a thing.
“You’re the Governor, Carter, and these people are not your friends,” Tina starts, and I can see almost everyone around the table nodding in silent agreement. “This is politics, you’d do well to remember that.”
“She’s right,” Curtis agrees, although somewhat hesitantly. He always hated this part of the job, getting me to agree on something he knows I don’t want to do. He sounds sour and hesitant, but still he pushes through. “There’s a lot at stake here. We can’t let personal feelings get in the way.”
What he’s really trying to say is that I can’t think clearly. That I've allowed my feelings to stop me from seeing what should be done. And, as much as it pains me to admit it, he’s right. Because what they’re asking me to do isn’t a simple political call. They’re asking me to throw the woman I love under the bus. The woman I love, I repeat the thought to myself, letting it echo inside my head. The woman I love.
“Carter,” Tina says, taking my silence for weakness. Her hunger for blood is so overpowering that she doesn’t mind who she buries her fangs in. “Do it. Everyone knows this is the right call,” she continues. Do it, bury her, go for the kill; her eyes tell me. Beautiful as she might be, right now she looks like a wolf, laying low with a snarl and baring its teeth as it sneaks toward its prey. She knows my own cabinet is taking her side, and she’s positioning herself as their unofficial speaker, trying to press me to the give the order.
I never liked being pushed around.
“No,” I say, going up to my feet and staring at her. Whatever happens, whatever the consequences, I won’t go after Vivian, even if it costs me my career. How could I do it when all these memories still linger in my mind? When I can’t forget the way her skin feels under my fingertips, or the way our eyes lock when our bodies are pressed together… How could I go after the woman I love? No, I won’t do that.
Tina leans back against her chair, her lips pursing as a scowl takes over her face. Her eyes have gained a hard edge, and I can’t help but think of her as lacking a soul, her slender body and delicate smile nothing more than transportation and cover for a sociopathic demon. My Chief of Staff looks from me to her, but he remains in silence; no words are being said, but he’s smart enough to know that a battle of wills is going on between me and this mysterious woman—Communist Party member, China First Bank representative, even Mayor of Shanghai. Even though he might think she’s right, Curtis is loyal to a fault and won’t take part in a cabinet revolution.
“You have no idea what you’re doing, Carter,” she hisses, going up to her feet. There’s more than just anger in her voice; there’s hatred. “Look around you; even your own cabinet knows that you’re a shame to the Governor’s office. And all because of that woman!”
For the first time in days, I feel peaceful. Hesitation has finally given way to clarity. Tina Ling—who does she think she is? And why is she even sitting here? She doesn’t care about New York, but I do, and in their own way, so does Liam and Vivian. We might not agree on everything, but our purpose is the same. And here I am, listening to Tina as she tries to pit the people who care about this state against one another.
“Tina, don’t take this the wrong way…” I say, a polite smile on my lips as I stare her down. “But you can go to Hell. I’m the New York’s Governor, and you’re no longer welcome here.” I’m not even mad right now. I feel at ease, my course of action suddenly becoming self-evident. I can’t believe I’ve let a foreign politician string me along for so much, but there’s still time to fix my mistakes. There’s a way out of this.
“I know you came once and I told you to go,” I say to her. “And I know Curtis invited you again and I heard you out completely. I can safely say now that I truly want nothing to do with you. Ever.”
There’s silence.
“You’re going to regret this,” she seethes, pushing her chair back. Her body is tense, her petite frame charged with the fury of someone who just had her prize snatched away at the last minute. With one final look of contempt, she turns on her heels and storms out of the office, slamming the door on her way out. Curtis’ eyes follow after her, an oh-shit expression plastered all over his face. No one in the room says a word, but I feel their eyes boring on me like nails.
“Thank you for letting me know where you stand,” I start, slowly addressing each one of the members of my cabinet. “Let me assure you; there’s a way out of this, and it won’t require for us to sell our souls in order to save our careers. Your trust in me is, and has always been, well placed. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” I head for the door, buttoning my jacket on the way out, “I have work to do.”
Heading straight for the courtyard, I feel my resolve hardening with each step I take. My driver is smoking a cigarette, leaning against the car with a wistful look on his face, but he puts it out the moment he lays eyes on me, straightening up almost as if he were a soldier who just saw his commanding officer.
“Get the engine running. We’re moving,” I tell him as I step inside the car. I’m going to solve this—whatever it takes. I tell my driver the directions, and it doesn’t take long for the car to be rolling down the highway.
91
Liam
“There are of course multiple ways to look at this situation,” my attorney, John Barlow, is telling me as he leans back in the chair in my library. “But the only way that’s going to get you through it is by looking at it from a perspective of saving yourself.”
I shake my head and take another sip of the scotch. Honestly, I have no fucking clue what’s going on anymore. Every time it seems like I’m making some progress or even Vivian and I are getting somewhere or Carter and I are patching things up, something seems to drop and make things even worse.
I mean, this has been a litany of getting slapped around by life, if you ask me. Talk about what could go wrong actually going wrong? I'ss as if someone sat down and made a list of all the bad things that could happen to us and then actually made them happen. All so someone else could read about it and be entertained.
Well, as much as I hope you are entertained, I hope you fucking know that it's not fun being impeached by the people you used to call your friends.
Or watching the woman you love being forced to stay the fuck away from you.
Or watching someone you could have gotten along with pretty well end up stabbing you in the fucking back.
So, yeah, I hope you’re entertained. Because my life is a piece of shit right about now.
“I don’t even know if I can save myself right now, John,” I say, taking a deep sigh.
He looks at me and says, “Sure you can, Liam. You’re just going to need the mental discipline to be able to follow through.”
I look at him with a puzzled expression as he continues. “You’re going to need to follow along with what Carter is going to do and blame everything on Vivian Hawthorne. How you were working toward a deal with Carter before Vivian came in the picture. How the only reason you spoke to Tina Ling was to get all possible viewpoints. Remember, Tina and Vivian were at some fundraiser a couple weeks ago put on by China First Bank. That’s where you snare that sumbitch Carter too. How because you don’t play the money game they’re trying to get you out.”
I’m fucking shocked as I look at the lawyer sitting in front of me.
“Jesus, you want to take a breath in between stabbing people in the back that many times, John?” I ask my lawyer. “I don’t think Vivian or Carter would ever fucking work with Tina Ling, and I don’t see how Vivian could ever have led us to the shit show that’s going on right now.”
John shrugs. “It doesn’t matter,” he says looking at me with an almost open expression. “What matters is that we start getting it out there and get the media to start smelling for it. Before you know it, they’ll have done most of the work for us. They’ll dig out a story, but more than likely they’ll put enough allegations and half-facts that they find out there that it’ll cloudy up the waters enough to get you out of the predicament you’re in now.”
Jesus fucking Christ. John leans back in his chair, satisfied with himself for coming up with a brilliant approach.
“How long you been doing this, John?” I ask. He’s supposedly one of the best political operatives there are in the state. And I can see why. The man has the compassion of a snake.
“Fifteen years,” he beams at me proudly. “I’ve helped too many politicians through too many scandals. I can’t even remember what they are anymore.
John is the type of consultant and operative that people call when shit really starts hitting the fan hard. He’s the person they call when they need someone to fix up a giant and colossal fuckup that they may have committed.
He’s also probably right. Muddy up the waters. Confuse people. Give them a common enemy to get angry at. And they’ll devote less of their energies toward trying to crucify me. It’s a model that politicians on both sides of the aisle have used before. And they’ll use it again.
What’s even more fucking telling is that John doesn’t have any sort of allegiance to the fucking truth. The truth is to him whatever he fashions and other people believe. If all of a sudden people started believing in ghosts, John would probably accept it. But he’d have a plan ready to get people to start believing anything else as well.
There’s nothing fucking real about this man. It’s all 100% fake.
That’s not what I got into politics for. There’s nothing fake in how I grew up. Nothing fake in the misery of being poor.
“John?” I ask, walking towards the hallway as I head out the library.
“Yeah, Liam?” he answers, curious as to why I’m walking away.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” I say to him.
There’s a pause. I hear him sigh and shuffle some papers in the other room and slowly get up and walk down the hardwood floors till he comes to the hallway.
“You sure?” he asks with a pained expression. “It’s only going to get uglier.”
I shake my head. “I don’t care how ugly everyone else gets,” I tell him. “I didn’t get into politics to start throwing people under the bus.”
John nods. “You’re a good man, Liam,” he says to me as he walks out the door. He pauses and looks at me. “Maybe too good for this game.”
I close the door and take a sip of the scotch I’m still holding. I got home to take this meeting with John and decided midway through that I needed a drink. I just didn’t want to deal with the level of fucking bullshit that saving myself was going to entail.
And that’s the thing, isn’t it? I could maybe save myself. Throw some people under the bus. Owe a few favors.
But then what? Someone else would come knocking looking to get back at me for fucking over their friends. Like a fucking vendetta. And someone I owed favors to would collect. And I’d be building more fucking alliances and spend even more time protecting my fucking back.
This is what our politicians do all fucking day. No wonder shit is so fucked up.
But I mean, am I any different? Sure, I came into this job determined to help people. I didn’t want these people in New Kingston to keep going on with their lives without someone hearing their voices. Because it’s one thing to be poor in America; this country still gives you the chance if you want to pull your shit together and make a living somehow to give your kids a better life.
But it’s another thing to be powerless and voiceless in a fucking democracy. When no one can hear your voice calling out in pain, no one is going to stop doing it.
But once you’re heard, you’re 90% of the way there.
Maybe I could have done things differently is all I mean, you know? Maybe I was being just like the people I’m complaining about when I sat there and told the press that if Carter had a problem with the factories he could just fuck off.
Why the fuck did I do that? Because he stopped on the way to the city to tell a small town mayor what to do? Because he made me feel small—that he fucking owned me—and I wanted to show him?
And Tina Ling. Why couldn’t I just go and come out and let people know what was going on with her? How she was trying to fucking bribe me, and maybe even fuck me. Oh, right. Because I was worried what Vivian would think. But it all came out in the end anyways, didn’t it? Now everything is fucked up.
But it doesn’t have to stay like that, I think.
What? You think it can’t get any worse, right? I bet you’re even wondering how we could ever get to a HEA from here.
Well, I don’t know the answer to the second question. Or even the first.
But I do know that Carter and I were on the cusp of something close. We had something worked out almost. But we let it all fall to shit.
I think I know how I can bring it back again. No, I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you. You’ll find out soon enough.
Don’t give me that look. Just know that it’s going to be fixed soon. And no, I won’t tell you even if you suck my cock, so please don’t fucking try it, babe.
I head once more from the library where I was sitting and finishing my scotch to the hallway where I open the door.
I need to get to New York City where I can find Carter and Vivian
.
I open the door.
That’s when I see Carter walking up the steps to the deck that leads to my front door.
His motorcade is quietly waiting for him in my driveway.
“We need to talk, Liam,” Carter says. “I think we need to figure out a way to fix this now that they’ve started attacking Vivian.”
I nod. And smile—slightly.
“I’m willing to work with you if it means protecting Vivian,” I say to him. I mean it.
I was angry at Carter for talking down at me. But I can’t let anger cloud the…love…I feel for her.
“I think I would agree if you said, ‘We’re going to make those fuckers sorry they ever fucking bothered to fuck with us’,” Carter says with a smile.
“What the fuck? You think I’m 12 years old or something, Carter?” I ask with a smile.
“No,” Carter says, extending his hand. “But I’m willing to work with you to find a solution to this mess. Because I can’t the two of you out of my head.”
It’s a good sign if we’re already thinking the same fucking thing.
Carter walks inside. We’re going to have a lot of talking to do.
92
Vivian
I’m staring out of the window as the car cruises through NY traffic. It’s rush hour, and I should be using the time to go through the dozens of emails sitting in my inbox. Or maybe I should return a few phone calls and try to find a foothold in this New Kingston debacle. But tired as I am, all I do is look out the window, taking in the moving view of the city.
The sidewalks are full with people going on about their day, the intricate Albany politics nothing more than a footnote to their personal lives. It never ceases to amaze me how the fate of millions are decided by a handful of people, and how little everyday Americans actually care about it. But that’s why people like me exist; as a Senator, it’s my duty to carry their burden, doesn’t matter how heavy.
