“I can’t be with you because I’m in love with you.”
It’s obvious he doesn’t understand, and why would he?
“I love you, and it would kill me to be with you because you’re you. I can’t change who you are, but I don’t have to let it hurt me so badly.”
“Rashida, I don’t underst— “
“Do you love me, Marcus?”
Damn. I didn’t see that coming. It just sprang from me before I could stop it.
His lips part slightly, and his eyes shift in their sockets as he searches his brain for the answer. Too late, though. I needed an immediate answer, one that he didn’t have to think about or rationalize.
I wanted to hear it from his heart, not his mind. Had he said yes immediately, I’d have had to reconsider everything.
Tears streaming down my cheeks, I inhale to try to regain my emotional equilibrium. Then I lean across the car and press my lips to his, kissing him fiercely. Our tongues play, dancing briefly together as if they were created solely for that purpose. Then I put a hand on his chest and push back, forcing myself away from him.
Marcus is still confused, still trying to answer the question.
“Rashida, I…”
I put two fingers across his lips to stop him. I try bravely to form a smile.
“It’s okay, Marcus. Really, it is. I get it, you are who you are. But I can’t be with you. It hurts too much.”
Without giving him time to respond, I open the door and run back inside before I can change my mind.
I stand in the hallway, wiping the tears from my eyes and trying to make it not quite so obvious that I’ve been crying my eyes out. It takes a full ten minutes to accomplish that. I spend the rest of the night in the living room with my parents, mindlessly watching TV while wondering if I’ve just made a horrible mistake that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
29
Marcus
Back in Oakland, I spend a few days closing things out with my trainer and squeezing in a little more time with my mom and Macie. My sister will be returning to Berkeley for her senior year and I feel bad about leaving Mom on her own, but she keeps reassuring me that she’ll be fine and that Macie and I need to get on with our own lives. Every time she says that, I hear my dad’s deep voice, saying, “Son, if you ain’t got family, you ain’t got nothing.”
That in turn makes me think about Rashida and Jayden. I need to find some way to make this work. But how?
The day before I’m scheduled to fly back to LA, I’m surprised by a call from Claire.
“Cancel your flight,” she says. “You’re meeting me in Beaverton tomorrow.”
“Where the hell is Beaverton? And why?”
“It’s a suburb of Portland, and that’s where Nike’s headquarters are. You and I have a meeting with Chance Gainey. It’ll be just the three of us, discussing an endorsement deal.”
As Claire tells me about the meeting and how important it is that I “put on my best face,” it dawns on me that Mason is not included in this phone call or the meeting. Mason must really trust his woman to turn her lose on an account this big, with one of his best friends as the client. If Mason trusts her, so do I. The Armani suit I wore to my dad’s funeral is still here, and I send a prayer to him, telling him that I’m going to wear it to the meeting for good luck.
The following morning I fly into Portland International Airport, where Claire is waiting for me. A limo drives us to Nike World Headquarters just west of Portland. During the half-hour drive, Claire goes over the talking points with me, but mostly tells me I need to be as charismatic as I’ve ever been. As she says, the difference in just the right smile could be a hundred million dollars.
At Nike, Claire and I are treated like royalty, and from the moment I walk through the front door, I’m all smiles and charm. Chance Gainey is younger than I expected for someone in such a powerful position, Executive Vice President of Global Marketing. Claire tells me they went to USC together, and I know she’s only about thirty years old. He barely looks it, even in suit and tie. He has thick black hair and a look that inspires confidence. The meeting takes place in Gainey’s office.
“So, Marcus, Claire tells me you’re going to be a free agent in another week,” Gainey says as we get down to business. My Adidas contract is about to expire, and the lowball renewal offers they’ve given me were so insulting that I instructed Mason and Claire to tell them I was going to look elsewhere. Ever since we made the playoffs and I started getting good publicity, Adidas has been pestering Leviathan and calling my cell phone every few days, but we just ignore them. Even if they doubled their offer, it still wouldn’t be enough to interest me.
“Yes,” I tell Gainey, then break into a grin. “But hopefully I won’t be when I leave here.”
The negotiations take about two hours, all told, and I’m totally engaged during the entire process. Claire and Gainey have had preliminary discussions about the incentivized contract. At first Nike wasn’t interested, but after my Q-Rating shot up in April and stayed there all summer, they became receptive to the idea, and now they seem extremely happy to add me to their stable of big-name spokespersons.
At the end of the meeting, Gainey shakes my hand and welcomes me to Nike. That’s the moment I remember something important.
“Chance, there’s one extra clause I want added to the contract when you draw it up.”
Claire shoots me a look, but I smile at her and continue. “I’ll need five hundred pairs of the Marcus Jennings signature shoe as soon as they’re produced. In a variety of kids’ sizes. For my favorite charity foundation in LA.”
Gainey grins. “Not a problem at all. We’ll include it as part of the big media push to introduce the new shoe. Everybody wins.”
Claire breathes a sigh of relief. She and Gainey agree that we need a big press conference to announce the deal, and it should take place in Hollywood on Friday of next week. That’ll be the official signing of the contract, after the lawyers have had a chance to produce the complicated document. Not coincidentally, it’s the day after my Adidas contract expires. Apparently, Nike doesn’t want to risk the possibility of me signing with someone else and would like to lock me down as soon as possible. Having a big press conference like this already scheduled would dissuade me from thinking twice.
I pose for pictures with Gainey and a few other employees, then Claire and I take the limo back to the airport. She’ll be returning to LA while I go to Oakland to say goodbye to my family before I return.
In the limo, I ask Claire where the press conference will be held.
“I’m not sure. Some place that’s media-friendly. The Leviathan offices don’t have a big enough room.”
“I’d like to suggest the Sunset Grand Hotel. I’m sure they can handle it.”
“Sure, I’ll check into it.” She looks at me, a smile crossing her face. “Is this because of Rashida?”
I’m caught off-guard. Claire met Rashida at the 4gotten Kids Foundation gala at the hotel months ago, but hearing her say the name surprises me. I quickly realize that Mason knows what I’ve been going through and he’s certainly shared that info with Claire.
I laugh and nod. “Is it obvious?” I ask.
“A little,” she replies. “But don’t worry, Marcus. Love looks good on you.”
30
Rashida
Just when I was finally beginning to get over Marcus, he shows up at Jayden’s party and ruins everything. Then came that talk in his car, with me admitting to him—and to myself, for the first time—that I was in love with him. Now I feel I’m right back to square one, missing him fiercely and unwilling to give in because I’m scared to death he’s not the kind of man who can commit to one woman.
Fortunately, after his return to Oakland, I haven’t heard anything. It’s been a week since Jayden’s party, and I return to work hoping to busy myself and forget about Marcus Jennings for a few hours.
The moment I see Yvette in the doorway of my office,
I know that will be impossible. The look on her face is beginning to be all too familiar, and I know immediately that this is about Marcus. She knows I broke it off with him because of the Lexi Snow incident and that I’ve been struggling to hold to that decision.
“I just got a call from someone at Leviathan Talent,” she says. “They booked the larger of the two meeting rooms for a press conference this Friday.”
I wait for the shoe to drop, but Yvette just bites her lip. What does this have to do with Marcus?
“Nike is announcing the signing of Marcus Jennings to a huge endorsement contract. He’s going to be here. I thought you would want to know.”
So, it is about Marcus. I hadn’t misjudged Yvette’s look after all.
I try not to look surprised, anxious, unhappy, or anything other than normal. “Okay, thanks for telling me.”
I lower my head back to my work, but I can still see her busty shape in the doorway. I look back up to see if there’s something else.
“The representative from Leviathan specifically requested the hotel manager’s presence at the conference, to make sure everything goes smoothly. Are you going to be okay?”
That’s strange. Normally a hotel’s event planner, in this case Yvette, would see to all the details of something like this.
“I’ll be fine, Yvette. Don’t worry about me.”
I ask her to shut the door behind her, and when she’s gone I allow myself to collapse on my desk. It will be hell seeing Marcus again, but it’s my job and I’ll just have to bear with it.
I can do this.
By Thursday, the day before the conference, I’ve decided that I can’t do it after all. I have severe doubts about my ability to remain professional in Marcus’s presence because my chest still physically hurts and I start to tear up every damn time I think of him. After lunch, I stop by Yvette’s office and tell her that she’s going to have to run the event without me, just like she normally does. I explain that I’ll call in sick that day and avoid the press conference altogether. I have complete faith in Yvette and know Leviathan will be happy with her performance.
The next morning, Jayden and I have a leisurely breakfast together. He probably thinks it’s the weekend and doesn’t question my not taking him to daycare. I smile as I watch him dig into his waffles. In another month, my boy will be starting first grade and Janet, his friend Evan’s mother, and I will be hiring a sitter to watch the two of them after school until one of us gets off work.
My stomach is knotted up all morning, knowing what’s taking place today at the hotel. The press conference is scheduled for two o’clock and is being carried live by NBA TV, although I have no intention of watching. My discipline fades by ten minutes after two and I feel compelled to turn on the TV.
I find the channel and see Yvette’s typical press table set up, with five people seated, each with a microphone on the table before them. I immediately recognize two of them as Mason and Claire, the owners of Leviathan who Marcus introduced me to at the 4gotten Kids charity gala. Two others are unfamiliar and I assume they’re representatives from Nike. And squarely in the middle is Marcus, in a gorgeous, understated gray suit with a pale blue tie.
“That’s Marcus!” Jayden says, pointing at the TV.
“I know, sweetie.”
A younger man with thick black hair is speaking. “… at Nike have had our eye on Marcus for a while now and jumped at the chance to do an endorsement deal with him. Marcus is an All-Star and All-NBA player, and as you know, this year led the Lakers back to the playoffs and a strong first-round showing against the eventual NBA Champion Houston Rockets. He’s also very active in his community and especially in his work with children’s charities.”
Marcus looks calm and confident, a relaxed smile on his face. He is so devastatingly handsome it makes my pulse race just looking at him sitting there. Then I remember what took place in the kitchen right behind me, and in the bed in the next room, and I can feel myself flush.
“Why is Marcus there? Why isn’t he playing basketball?” Jayden asks.
“Because the season hasn’t started yet.”
“…so, let me turn the mic over to Nike’s newest elite partner, Marcus Jennings.” The man extends a hand to shake with Marcus, but the room erupts in laughter when Marcus instead grabs him in a big bear hug, lifting him off the ground. Once things settle down, Marcus leans into the microphone.
“I can’t tell you how blessed I am to work with the greatest sportswear company in the world, and how appreciative I am that they’ve agreed to put their confidence in me.”
Just as in his interviews, Marcus is very composed and well-spoken—atypical of professional athletes. He’s really turning on the charm today. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him look so happy on camera before.
“I promise I’ll work very hard to repay that confidence and will do my best to earn every dollar they pay me.” He breaks into a grin. “And that’s going to be a whole lot of dollars.”
When the laughter dies down he continues. “Seriously, this is a big day for me and I want to say hi to my mom and sister in Oakland. This day would be perfect if my father hadn’t passed away earlier this year…” He pauses, trying to hold his emotions in check. The room is so silent you could hear a pin drop, then Marcus wipes a single tear from his eye before resuming. “I just wish Dad could have lived to have seen this. Thank you, Nike, for helping to make my dreams and his come true.”
There’s another hug and it looks like they’re about to wrap things up when Marcus takes the mic again. “I have a couple more things I’d like to say before we conclude. First of all, I want to give a big shout-out to all my good friends at the 4gotten Kids Foundation and to let y’all know that this man here”—he gestures to the man from Nike, then breaks into a huge grin— “my friend Chance Gainey, has promised me that every single one of y’all is gonna get a brand-new pair of Marcus Jennings shoes when they come out in early December, plus lots of other Nike clothing and products. Santa will come early this year, thanks to the generous people at Nike.”
Marcus lets the gesture sink in for those watching, then looks down at the press table for a second. When he looks up again, he’s suddenly serious.
“Lastly, I want to take a moment to apologize to someone I care very much about, and whose feelings I took for granted. I didn’t realize it at the time, and it took a few months to get it through my thick skull.” He smiles and raps his knuckles against the side of his head, eliciting laughter from the reporters. “But now I’ve learned my lesson and wanted to say how sorry I am for my selfish actions.”
I’m watching in stunned, breathless silence. Mason and Claire exchange a confused glance, and the Nike reps also look like they weren’t expecting this. Marcus has obviously gone off-script. He can’t possibly be referring to me, can he?
“I was hoping she would be here with us today, but she’s apparently not feeling very well. Hopefully, she’s watching from home.”
My heart is in my throat. I don’t believe what I’m hearing.
“So, Rashida Blanchard, please accept my sincere apology.”
“He said your name, Mom!”
I grab Jayden and pull him close to me, my eyes riveted on the screen but watering rapidly.
“You asked me a question a few days ago, but didn’t give me time to respond. So, I thought I’d take this opportunity, in front of all these people and everyone watching at home, to say…”
I can’t breathe.
“… yes, Rashida, I do love you. More than you can possibly know.”
“Mom!” Jayden shouts. I hear murmurs from the reporters on the TV and see smiles on the faces of everyone on screen.
Marcus concludes his remarks. “That’s all I’ve got. Thank you all for coming, and once again, thanks to Nike for putting their faith in me.” He laughs, then says, “Rashida, it’s your turn now.”
I’m suddenly crying my eyes out and can’t stop.
“What’s wrong, Mom?”
Jayden is concerned that his mother is losing her mind. I smile at him through my sobbing.
“Nothing, baby. Nothing at all.”
The press starts calling within minutes. Unfortunately, I’m probably the only Rashida Blanchard in the world, so my number is easy to find. I make the mistake of answering the first few times, then hanging up after telling the reporters I’m not interested in talking. After some two dozen phone calls from numbers not in my contacts list, I see “Sunset Grand” pop up accompanying a ring. It’s the hotel’s receptionist, letting me know that reporters keep calling the hotel requesting information about me.
The rest of the day is just as crazy. Clips from the press conference show up on ESPN and other sports shows, and everyone seems quite taken by Marcus’s earnest statement to “the woman he loves.” NBA TV even manages to get an interview with his Lakers teammate, Demarius Crawford, who grins and says, “Our guy Marcus is an unpredictable dude. No telling what he’ll do next, but it’s guaranteed to attract attention.”
My parents call, as well as people I haven’t heard from in ages. By dinner time, I just turn off my phone altogether. The downstairs intercom even buzzes a few times, but I don’t recognize the faces I see in the viewer so I don’t respond. For the rest of the evening, while Jayden watches TV, I wonder whether I should call Marcus, or maybe send a text. I’m still so confused by all of this and have no idea what to do next. Eventually I get in bed without reaching out to him, telling myself I’ll figure things out in the morning when I’m more clear-headed.
I barely sleep at all, with so many thoughts running through my head. After tossing and turning all night, I finally give up and climb out of bed at six in the morning—on a Saturday, no less.
Things aren’t much better in the morning. I turn on my phone briefly and see that I have more than twenty voicemail messages and several dozen texts. With no desire to wade through all this nonsense, I turn it back off.
Hollywood Bad Boys Club: Book 3: Marcus Page 20
