“Like what?” He smiled at the sound of her voice and held her closer.
“All kinds of things. Buy the house in the country, fix it up a little. Go to Europe … have a baby …” She turned her face and smiled at him, nose to nose.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me.”
“I’m not so sure I did. Are you serious?”
“I think so.” She smiled mysteriously and kissed him.
“What brought that on?”
“A simple process, darling. I’ve grown up since I saw you last. And it’s just something I’ve been thinking about lately. And I realized something else. I don’t just want ‘a baby.’ I want your baby. Our baby. Ian … I just want you, with kids, without kids, with money, without … I don’t know how else to tell you. I love you.” Two huge tears slid down her face and she looked at him so intensely that he wanted to hold her forever.
He threw his arms around her and held her to him with a huge smile on his face. “You know what’s going to happen, Jess? Any minute, some asshole with a flashlight is going to walk up to me, it’s going to be two in the morning, and I’m going to wake up, holding my pillow. Because this can’t be real. I’ve dreamed it too often. It’s not happening. I want it to be, but … tell me it’s for real.”
“It’s for real … but you’re breaking my left arm.”
“Sorry.” He pulled away from her for a moment and they both laughed. “Sweetheart, I love you. I don’t even care if you want a baby anymore. I love you, in that ramshackle empty house you got yourself, or in a palace, or wherever. And aside from that, I happen to think you’re nuts. I don’t know what made you come back, but I’m so damn glad you did.”
“So am I.” She threw her arms around him again, nibbled his ear, and then bit him. “I love you,” she whispered it in his ear, and he pinched her. It had been so long since he’d even touched her, held her, felt her. Even pinching and biting felt good. It was all such a luxury now. “Christ, Ian, what’s the matter with you?”
“What do you mean?” He looked suddenly worried.
“You didn’t even yell when I pinched you. You always yell when I pinch you. Don’t you love me anymore? ” But her eyes were dancing as they hadn’t in years. Maybe as they never had before, Ian thought.
“You came up here for me to yell at you?”
“Sure. And so I could yell at you. And hug you and kiss you, and beg you to get the hell out of here and come home, for Chrissake. So will you please, dammit? Will you!” Jesus. Twelve hours ago, she hadn’t even been sure he still wanted her. But he did! Thank God he did!
“I will, I will. What’s your hurry? What do you have, snakes in that place? Spiders? That’s why you want me, right? The exterminator—I know your type.”
“Bullshit. No spiders, no snakes, but …” She grinned.
“Aha!”
“Ants. I walked into the kitchen the other night to make a peanut-butter sandwich, and I screamed so loud, I … what are you laughing at? Goddam you, what are you laughing at?” And then suddenly she was laughing too, and he had his arms around her and he was kissing her again, and they were both laughing through their tears. The war was over.
And eight weeks later, he was home.
Published by
Dell Publishing
a division of
Random House, Inc.
Copyright © 1978 by Danielle Steel
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law.
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eISBN: 978-0-307-56671-3
June 1985
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Now and Forever Page 41
