by Barbara Gee
“I don’t know,” Maddy said slowly, not convinced. “I’ve told him over and over he’s not to blame for what happened.”
“I know you don’t blame him, dear, but you wouldn’t have been hurt if he hadn’t made a terrible enemy by way of his work with the FBI. That’s the truth, and Tucker knows it. I think that’s a risk he’s not willing to take again.”
Maddy sighed. “And the only way around that would be for him to give up a job he feels called to do. Which would bring a different kind of guilt.”
Kay gave her a sad smile. “Quite a conundrum, I’d say.”
“He’s made his choice, though, that’s pretty obvious. And it wasn’t me.”
“My guess is he’s still struggling with that choice,” Kay replied. “Actually it’s more than a guess, going off the fact that he calls me at least every other day and the first thing he asks is how you’re doing. He’s starving for information about you, Maddy.”
Maddy closed her eyes. “But it doesn’t matter, Kay. He still didn’t choose me.”
“All I’m asking is that you don’t make it so easy for him to convince himself he made the right choice.” Kay leaned down and pressed a fond kiss to the top of Maddy’s head. “Call him, Maddy. Call him.”
“I’ll think about it,” Maddy promised. “Thanks for caring, Kay.”
“Always, Maddy. I only want what’s best for my kids. And that includes you, my dear.”
Chapter 25
Maddy made it upstairs all by herself and took the longest shower of her life. The warm water felt incredible falling on all of her body parts. She didn’t have to put on wraps, and she could wash her hair with both hands. She lathered and scrubbed and shaved, and then just sat there letting the water pound on her skin. Incredible.
It was all kinds of wonderful to be able to get dressed by herself, too. She put on shorts and a tank top and then laughed out loud because it felt so crazy good to be self sufficient again.
It was easy getting into bed with the trapeze to help. A few minutes later Libby stuck her head in to make sure everything had gone okay.
“You’re officially off nursemaid duty,” Maddy told her cheerfully. “You were great, Libby, so great, but I am once again able to take care of myself.”
“Good for you, girlfriend. And it’ll only get better from here. Jolene is awesome, huh?”
“I like her a lot.”
Libby walked over to the bed and perched on the edge. “So, Maddy girl, are you going to call Tuck and let him know how things went today?”
Maddy bit her lip. “I don’t know if I have enough nerve, Lib. I haven’t talked to him in three weeks.”
“I know.”
“Don’t you think it would be best if you called him?” Maddy asked hopefully.
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s just plain sad that you two are too scared to talk to each other.”
“I’m not scared,” Maddy disagreed.
“Prove it,” Libby urged. “Call him.”
Maddy glared at her friend. “I’m not scared, Libby. It’s self preservation. If I talk to him, I’ll just miss him more. And you know what? It hurts to miss him so much. I haven’t seen him in five weeks and I still miss him just a much as I did the first day. It’s not fading at all.”
“I understand that, I really do. But I haven’t given up on you two yet. He misses you, too. Make him face that. Don’t make it so easy for him to walk away.”
Maddy cocked her head. “Have you been talking to Kay?”
Libby frowned. “Not about you and Tuck. Why?”
“Just wondered.” Maddy sighed. “I’ll think about it, Lib.”
“He deserves to know that you’re cast free. He’ll be so relieved.”
Maddy nodded. “I know.” She sighed heavily. “I’ll call him.”
“Good girl. I’ll see you in the morning.” Libby patted her hand and left with a smile.
Maddy picked up her phone and opened her camera roll. She had snuck a picture of Tuck the last day he was at the ranch, but she hadn’t allowed herself to look at it since their last phone call. She brought it up now, and caught her breath when his face filled the screen. He was so very, very handsome. She had snapped the photo when they were playing Euchre, and he had been smiling at Libby, teasing her about being so far behind. Maddy zoomed in on the photo so she could see the twinkle in his blue eyes.
Tucker. Don’t you know you’re the man of my dreams? Don’t you know I will gladly accept whatever risks being with you might pose?
Taking a deep breath, Maddy brought up his number, counted to ten, and then tapped to dial.
He answered on the first ring, making Maddy wonder if he’d been waiting for her to call.
“Hey, Maddy.”
Her heart fluttered and her breath caught. “Um, hi, Tucker,” she finally stammered.
“I was hoping you’d call.” His voice sent a shiver through her.
“I, uh, wanted to let you know how things went today,” she said quickly, before she could give in to the urge to tell him how freaking wonderful it was to hear his voice.
“Please tell me you got the casts off.”
“I did. Both of them. I still have to wear a brace on my knee, but I can remove it when I shower and when I’m in bed.”
“Are you actually walking?”
“So far I can only shuffle a few steps to get in and out of my chair. But I’m starting PT tomorrow at 7:00, and I hope to at least graduate to crutches in a few days. I just need to build up some strength and try to loosen up my knee.”
“Maybe we can plan a wheelchair burning ceremony.”
“Make it a donation ceremony and I’m in. It would be kinda wasteful to burn it, but I’ll gladly give it to an organization that needs it. I never want to see it again.”
“I’m happy for you, Maddy. I know you have a lot of work in the weeks ahead, but you’re ready for it.”
“I am. Oh, and I met Jolene today and I like her a lot. Thanks for arranging for her to come.”
“You’re welcome. I hope the two of you hit it off.”
“I’m pretty sure we will,” Maddy said. “What about you, Tuck? How are things going in Charlotte?”
“It’s been a busy couple of weeks, Maddy. I have a lot to tell you.”
Maddy sat up straighter, gripping her phone tighter. “What happened?” she asked anxiously.
“Do you think you can you wait until morning to find out? I’d like to tell you in person.”
“In person?” Maddy felt her heart start to pound as she realized what he was saying. “You’re coming here?” she squeaked. “Tomorrow?”
She heard him chuckle softly. “I just landed in Grand Forks, so I’ll be at the ranch in a couple hours. I’m going to call Kay and have her leave the door unlocked for me. You get some sleep, and I’ll give everyone an update over breakfast.”
Maddy closed her eyes. Tucker was coming back to the ranch! After five weeks apart, she was going to see him again in the morning.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep now,” she admitted.
“Try, Maddy. You’ve had a long day, and you’ll have another big day tomorrow with Jolene.”
“Is it something bad, Tuck? Is that why you want to tell us in person?”
“Nope. It’s all good.”
Maddy released the breath she’d been holding. “Thank God. How long will you be staying?”
“Just a couple days. I need to get back to Charlotte soon. But we’ll talk about all that tomorrow, okay?”
Maddy pressed a hand against her chest, feeling the excited beating of her heart. Rest? Not likely.
“Okay,” she said anyway. “Drive safely.”
They hung up and Maddy immediately texted Libby, asking her to come back over to her room, then she filled her in on what Tuck had said.
“Oh my gosh, Maddy! Do you think he's going to tell us he caught Jimmy Callahan?”
“Well, he
said it was good news, and I don't know anything else that would get him to come all the way out here. But I'm afraid to get my hopes up.”
“It has to be that.”
“At least we know it's positive, whatever it is. I just can't believe he's coming. I didn't expect to see him for a long time yet.”
“Is it going to be awkward between you two?” Libby asked worriedly.
Maddy shrugged. “I don't know. It was fine talking to him on the phone—a lot easier than I expected. That's a lot different than seeing him in person, though.”
“I wish you two could work things out. I still think you're meant to be together.”
“I'm not the one who needs convincing,” Maddy said softly. “Man, Lib, it was so good to hear his voice again. I can’t even tell you how good.’
“I'm praying about you two,” Libby said a little sheepishly. “I'm definitely not an expert at it though, so it might not help anything.”
“I love hearing you say you're praying. It makes me happy.”
“It's mostly because of you, Maddy. That first night you were in the hospital, Tuck told me what had happened to you. He said he couldn't believe how brave you were the whole time. I told him I didn’t think I would have been able to be that strong, and he said at one point, when they were watching the video, they could tell you were praying. He thought maybe that helped.”
“I prayed almost constantly,” Maddy confirmed. “I’m not saying I wasn’t scared, because I was terrified most of the time. But I knew I wasn’t alone. God was with me the whole time, and I knew Tucker was looking for me. That gave me the hope I needed. And it gets me through now, too, when my mind goes back to that time. My faith really does give me peace.”
“That’s what I want,” Libby said thoughtfully. “I want to know I’m not alone, that I’ll have the courage to get through anything, and do the right thing when I face a tough situation.”
Maddy grinned. “I’d say you’re on the right track, Libby. Keep searching, keep reading your Bible, and keep talking to others. I’m sure Pastor Kemper would be happy to meet with you if you want. I think he would be pretty easy to talk to, and from the few sermons I’ve heard, I think he knows his stuff.”
“I think I will try to set something up with him,” Libby said. “I want what you, Tuck, Kay and Virgil have. You’re my favorite four people in the whole world, and I figure you can’t all be wrong.”
“Not a chance,” Maddy laughed.
“Okay, I’m going to bed now. I hope I can get to sleep. I’m exhausted after today, but wondering why Tuck is coming has me all riled up.”
“Me, too. Good night, Libby. See you bright and early in the morning.”
“With bells on, baby,” Libby said, waving over her shoulder as she left the room.
Maddy fluffed her pillow, turned off the lamp, and lay there staring up at the ceiling for a long time. She could hardly fathom that Tuck was so close, and getting closer by the second. She closed her eyes, reliving the last time they had laid side by side on her bed.
Thankfully, soon after her lips met his in her memory, she fell soundly asleep.
Chapter 26
Tuck let himself into the quiet ranch house and walked straight to the stairs. He was beyond exhausted and ready to crash. After a quick shower he crawled into bed, hoping to fall asleep quickly.
Now that he finally had the opportunity to get some much needed sleep, however, he found he couldn’t relax. Only a wall separated him from Maddy, and in a few hours he would see her again. How was he going to handle it? Would he be able to keep a nice, safe, platonic distance, or would he be unable to resist the allure of Madison Harper?
During the five weeks they’d been apart, Tuck had spent a lot of time trying to sort out his feelings for her. Unfortunately he had ended up just as conflicted as ever. He truly wanted to do what was best for Maddy, and logically that meant he should ignore his attraction and let her move on with her life, without him. His prayer had been for the strength to do just that, but his decision to let go brought him no peace, and his feelings for Maddy remained as strong as ever. What was he to make of that? What was God trying to tell him?
As he lay in the comfortable bed, Tuck knew if he hadn’t figured it out in five weeks, he wasn’t going to in the next few hours. He would just have to wing it tomorrow. He closed his eyes and forced himself to take slow, deep breaths while focusing on individual muscle groups, willing them to relax. Eventually, he drifted off, with Maddy on his mind and, as usual, in his dreams.
When his alarm went off the next morning, Tuck cursed. He felt every bit as tired as when he’d gone to bed. But then he remembered where he was, and who was in the room next door, and that was enough to get him up and going. He got out of bed and went directly to the shower, leaning against the tiled wall while letting the hot water pound his weary muscles.
He’d pushed himself to the limit the past couple of weeks, and he knew he desperately needed to take some time to rejuvenate both his body and mind. Instead, he’d spent yesterday traveling all the way from Charlotte to North Dakota, simply because he wanted share his news in person with the person it affected the most. Yeah, he was dead tired, but it had been the right choice.
Tuck got dressed and left his room. He intended to walk right past Maddy’s door, he knew he should walk past, but in the end he simply couldn’t make himself keep going. Instead he tapped on her door and listened, hoping she hadn’t already gone downstairs.
“Come in, Libby. Did you forget I can get up by myself—” she broke off when she saw him enter the room. She had been wheeling herself out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for the day, but now she stopped the chair abruptly, her blue eyes wide.
“Oh, hi, Tuck,” she breathed, her gaze sweeping over him from head to toe. “You’re here.”
“I am,” he said, trying to hide the effect seeing her again had on his heart. “You look great, Maddy.”
She held up her right arm, a shy smile curving her sweet lips. “Look, mom, no casts,” she joked.
Tuck walked over to her and gently took her wrist, pushing up the loose sleeve of her shirt. He knew that the break caused by Jimmy’s vicious booted stomp had been close to her elbow, and four screws had been needed to hold the fractured bone in place. Now he ran his fingers lightly over the faint scars left from the surgery.
“Can you straighten it all the way?” he asked.
“No, but the doctor said that’s almost always the case. He said PT is really important when the break is that close to the elbow, otherwise I’ll never be able to get it completely straight.”
Tuck tugged her sleeve back down, then straightened up, his hands on his lean hips.
“Can you stand up for me?” he asked hopefully.
Maddy pointed to her bed. “Grab my knee brace over there. I need to put that on first.”
Tuck picked up the jointed brace and squatted down in front of her. When he reached out to raise the leg of her sweat pants, Maddy quickly stopped him. When he looked at her questioningly she shook her head.
“My leg is really skinny and gross,” she said self-consciously.
He wrapped his big hand around her calf. “Of course it’s skinny, Maddy, you haven’t been able to use it for nine weeks.” He smiled. “It won’t last. You’ll be running marathons before you know it.”
Maddy looked at him in horror. “Oh my goodness, I hope not! I hate exercise, remember? My goal is to get back to where I was, not to run marathons!” She held out her hand for the brace. “I can put this on on top of my pants.”
He watched her fasten the brace, then he stood up and held out a hand.
“Ready?”
She put her hand in his and slowly stood up, her smile proud and happy and so beautiful he forgot to breathe for a moment. He cleared his throat and looked her up and down.
“First time I’ve ever seen you upright,” he said, grinning. “You’re a tiny little thing.”
“I’m five five, that’s
not so tiny.”
“It’s pretty tiny,” he insisted. Their eyes met and his smile slowly faded. Before he could think about it, or talk himself out of it, he stepped forward and slid a hand into the silky fall of her hair, cupping the back of her head.
“Tiny but perfect. I’ve missed you, Maddy,” he said softly.
Maddy leaned into him, sliding her arms around his waist and pressing her face against his chest.
“I missed you more,” she said against the soft cotton of his shirt. “My ‘no contact’ rule was really dumb, Tuck. If anything it just made me think about you more.”
He closed his arms around her, drawing her tightly against him, her slight form warm against his body. He had lectured himself endlessly about being careful and not letting this kind of thing happen. Over and over he had told himself he had to keep his distance from this girl who had tied him in knots from the first time he’d seen her on that dreadful video.
But in spite of his determination, as soon as he’d walked into her room he had known there was no way he could keep from touching her. He held her close for one bittersweet minute, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head and gradually loosened his hold on her.
“I should let you sit down.” He pulled her wheelchair into position and watched as she reluctantly sat.
“You won’t need this much longer,” he said. “Jolene will see to that.”
Maddy cleared her throat, “Um, speaking of Jolene, I have ten minutes before our first session is supposed to start.”
“Why don’t you call her and delay it for an hour so I have time to talk to you guys,” Tucker suggested.
She looked up at him searchingly. “Okay. And it really is all good news, right? You didn’t say that just because you wanted me to be able to sleep last night?”
“It’s good news, Maddy. Trust me.”
