“I know what you’re saying is true, but we can’t give up hope.” Jayce pointed out across the water. “There are a lot of seals with pups out there. The fishing has been decent, and now that we’ve located the area where the birds are building nests, we can have eggs. All of these things will keep us alive and well fed, even if they don’t offer the balance the good doctor wishes us to have.”
Jacob shook his head. “My teeth are loose. My gums are spongy.”
“Mine too,” Jayce admitted. “So we have scurvy. It’s to be expected.”
“It’ll kill us if we don’t find better food or someone to rescue us.”
Jayce shrugged. “We can’t sit around worrying about it. Someday something is going to kill us. If we just dwell on it, we’ll only manage to hurry it along. Frankly, I think we’ve come through Arctic winter in good order. I honestly believe help is on the way. We’re going to make it.”
“I can only hope and pray that we’ve gotten through the worst of the weather,” Jacob muttered. “I know for sure we can’t go through another winter unless we prepare.”
“We aren’t going to need to go through another winter,” Jayce declared. “You agreed to the compromise. If rescue hasn’t come by the tenth, then we’ll head out.”
Jacob tried to imagine making it back to Alaska. “Jayce, do you hear what you’re saying? Do you understand the dangers and the near impossibility of such a trip with these sick men?”
Jayce grinned. “But you taught me that we serve a God of impossibilities. Are you suddenly changing your mind?”
Jacob sighed. He felt wearier than he’d ever been in his life. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m tired, and like I said, I’m not thinking clear. I think heading out will be death, but I can’t blame them for wanting to get home.”
“We all want to get home, but we need to make sensible plans,” Jayce said, matching Jacob’s stride. “We can do this, but as you’ve said over and over, we need to work as a team. If you desert us now, the team will fall apart.”
“But what happens if no one comes for us by the tenth?” Jacob looked at Jayce without stopping, then just as quickly turned his attention back on the hill they were climbing. “Those men will expect me to produce a miracle. A miracle I simply do not have.”
“Since when have you ever been in the miracle business?” Jayce asked sarcastically. “You aren’t God, Jacob. Stop trying to be Him.”
This caused Jacob to pause. He felt his anger rise as his hands automatically balled into fists. He wanted to punch Jayce, but just as quickly he calmed, knowing that Jayce had done nothing wrong. He’d spoken the truth. Jacob squared his shoulders and walked a few more steps to the ridge. “If no one comes, we will load up the boats and head out. But to where? To what? How will we make our way if the storms come? You can’t ride out a late-season blizzard in an umiak.”
“I don’t have all of your answers, but we can pray and trust that God will send us what we need. If not a rescue ship, then surely Latimore can be of help. He’s sailed the waters of the Bering before.”
“If Latimore survives he might be able to offer some insight, but by his own admission, he has never been in this area. We may be in the Chukchi or even East Siberian Seas. There’s no real way for us to know.”
At the top of the hill, Jacob sat down on a rocky outcropping. “I keep looking for a sign—something to tell me where we are. Are we on Wrangell Island or Skeleton Island or something else entirely? We found signs of that one camp, but we don’t know that it had anything to do with the men of the Karluk. I was under the impression that some kind of marker had been left behind.”
Jayce eased onto the rock with a bit of a moan. Jacob had forgotten that Jayce had twisted his back just days earlier as they wrestled a seal onto the shore. He seemed to still be quite sore, and that only made Jacob feel more guilty for his rapid ascent to the top of the ridge.
“How’s the back?”
“It’s better. Truly.” Jayce added the latter as Jacob cast him a look of doubt. “I think a nice hot bath would help.” He grinned. “Maybe a Turkish bath with steam and eucalyptus branches.”
“And a soft bed,” Jacob added.
“And Leah to give me backrubs.” Jayce picked up a rock and gave it a toss. “I miss her more than anything else. I can’t help but wonder what the little ones are doing now.”
“They aren’t so little is my guess,” Jacob countered. “They’re a year old. I thought of that the other day. If we’ve managed to keep proper records, then they’ve had their first birthday.”
“I know. I realized that too,” Jayce’s voice was filled with longing.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. When we get back … I’m leaving Alaska.”
“What?” Jayce shook his head. “What are you talking about? You told me Alaska was in your blood—that you’d never leave.”
“Helaina Beecham’s in my blood too,” he answered softly. He had her face emblazoned on his memory. “She’s all I think about—she’s all I really care about.”
“But leave Alaska?”
Jacob leaned his arms against his knees. “She said Alaska was too hard for her. That life there was too isolated. How could I go seeking her as a wife, knowing that she’d only be miserable there?”
“But to give up your life for the love of a woman—that’s kind of dangerous. You know it could spell trouble in the years to come. When things are hard, you’ll blame her. You might even end up pining away for what might have been and come to resent her for taking you from all that you knew.”
“I could never feel that way about her. Could you feel that way about Leah?”
Jayce sighed. “That’s a bad question to ask me—or maybe I should say a good question. I’m the one who avoided a relationship with her not only because of her age, but because I figured she’d leave Alaska and I didn’t want to. Even the summer before we married she was talking of going to Seattle to hunt for a husband. That put me at odds again. Would she really leave Alaska? Would she ever come back? I knew I would never have planned to be at odds with her if we married and she suddenly wanted to leave the Territory. Neither would you set out to feel that way toward Helaina, but it could come later in life. You have to be realistic about this and not just think about it with stars in your eyes and your heart all aflutter. You’re talking about a life change that you would never consider for any other reason.”
“But I love her,” Jacob said softly, and in his heart he could only think of his need—of the emptiness without her in his life. “I was so happy when she came to believe in Jesus. Her anger and misery over the past was like a burden that weighed her down. She blamed herself for her family dying— for her husband’s death. She carried that inside and it nearly killed her. She wanted only to be free, but she honestly believed it was her punishment—her grief to bear for eternity.”
“Sometimes we torture ourselves with things like that,” Jayce agreed. He shifted ever so slowly, and Jacob worried that perhaps his friend was in more pain that he’d let on. “Sometimes we choose to take on the responsibility of something when God never expects or wants us to.”
“You mean like my leaving Alaska for Helaina?”
Jayce shrugged. “I mean only that you should be certain that it’s the Lord’s leading and not your loneliness. Once you make a decision, you will have a price to pay no matter what.”
“I have prayed about it. I continue to pray. I’ve told God that if I get out of this alive, I’ll do whatever I can to win her over.”
“You told God, huh?” Jayce grinned. “What happened to asking Him what He wanted for your life? You used to tell me that was the most important thing for a man to do.”
Jacob blew out a loud breath. “I know, and I’m not saying that I haven’t asked. It’s just that … well … the Bible also talks in Proverbs about making your plans and trusting God to direct you. I have to believe that the plans I’m making are His direction. They seem right. They feel right
.”
“I’m not saying they aren’t right,” Jayce said, stretching to rub the small of his back. “I’m just cautioning you. Take it slow and really think things through. Otherwise you may be sorry. Sorry in a way that can’t be fixed in a day or two.”
Jacob thought a great deal about Jayce’s words long after they’d returned to camp. He knew his friend was only concerned with his well-being. He didn’t want to keep Jacob in Alaska for his own purposes or desires. He cared about Jacob like a brother and wanted him to make the right decision.
“But what is the right decision?” he murmured, glad to be alone in the shelter. He yawned and leaned back onto his pallet. With the worst of winter weather having eased, they had moved camp and set up new dwellings. The room around him had only recently been created using some of the boxes and tent canvas that they’d brought with them from the Regina. The doctor had thought this good for the health of everyone. Jacob had thought it good to keep them occupied.
Now he wrestled with what to do and how to do it. Jayce had offered wise counsel. Jacob felt that a lack of good food and decent living accommodations had left him addlepated at times. Could he even make the right decision?
The decision had to include Helaina, he told himself. If she wasn’t a part of the matter—then his life wouldn’t be the same.
But why would you want her if the Lord doesn’t also want her for you?
The thought came unbidden, and no matter how hard Jacob tried, it wouldn’t leave his mind. What if Helaina wasn’t the right woman for him? Would he really want to impose her with a life of misery if he weren’t the man for her?
Jacob fell asleep with these troubled thoughts. He pulled a seal fur around his body and over his head to block out the light. Somehow—some way—he knew God would direct his steps. He only hoped the path led him back to Helaina.
————
Jayce prayed for Jacob long into the night. Except there was no night. Not these days. The light in the sky at one in the morning might as well have been one in the afternoon. Jayce had been unable to sleep and had decided a short walk might help. But it hadn’t.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
Jayce looked up to find Keith Yackey. As was often the case, a Bible was in his hands. One of the rifles hung casually over his shoulder. It appeared to be his time at watch.
“I needed to pray. For a friend.”
Keith nodded. “I’d love to join you. I can guard camp, watch for ships, and pray all at the same time. God will still listen even if I don’t close my eyes.”
Jayce chuckled. “I can be sure of that. I’ve prayed a great deal while pacing or driving dogs. I didn’t close my eyes then either.”
“I’ve been memorizing some Scripture,” Keith told him. “I figured to go back to civilization with a big portion of the Bible memorized.”
“And is it working?” Jayce asked.
“I’ve got most of the New Testament done. I’m working on Isaiah now.”
“That’s impressive.” Jayce glanced back at the shelter. “I have a friend who has a difficult decision to make. A lifechanging decision. He trusts God, but this is a matter of the heart.”
“Which always complicates matters,” Keith added.
“Have you ever been in love?”
Keith laughed. “I still am. I have a wonderful wife and three beautiful children.”
“You must miss them very much. I know I miss my wife and the twins.”
“I knew you had twins. I heard Jacob talk about them. You’re married to his sister, right?”
Keith’s knowledge of his situation only served to make Jayce feel worse about not having gotten to know the man better. “Yes. Leah is Jacob’s sister. She’s an amazing woman.”
“She’d have to be to live in Alaska.”
“Where is your family?”
“California.”
Jayce smiled. “Where it’s always nice and warm.”
“Well, most of the time,” Keith admitted. “We have our storms and our problems, but nothing like this.”
“Will your wife despair over what’s happened?” Jayce asked cautiously. “Will she believe you to be lost—dead?” He forced the final word.
“Janessa? Never. She’s not one to give up easily. That’s one of the things I love about her. She has great faith and hope.” Keith opened his Bible and started to say something more but was quickly hushed.
“You dirty rotten …” The sound of men fighting spilled into the peaceful moments Jayce had been enjoying with Keith.
Both men turned to look toward one of the other shelters. Bristol and Elmer were arguing about something. Then without warning Elmer raised a pistol and fired it over Bristol’s head. Things had taken a deadly turn.
“What’s going on?” Jacob asked as he came outside.
“I don’t know,” Jayce answered. Keith was already heading off to see what was going on. “It just started. Elmer fired the pistol at Bristol, but just over his head.”
“I heard it. I thought maybe the war had come to us.”
Another shot sounded. Jayce narrowed his eyes as Jacob checked his own revolver to make sure it was loaded. “Come on. We’d better see what this is all about.”
Chapter Seven
Elmer! Bristol! What’s the problem?” Jacob called as he approached. He didn’t want to startle the men and have them turn on him, so he slowed his pace and tried again. “Elmer, put down the gun and tell me what’s wrong.”
“He said I was stealing. Called me a thief.”
“You are a thief!” Bristol countered. He could barely stand due to his bad foot. “I saw you get into the food locker. You were taking what didn’t belong to you.”
“Food belongs to all of us. I went out on the last hunt and brought down the biggest seal. That ought to count for something.”
“There’s no call for using a weapon against a man. Not here. We’re too few in number, and we need every man just to survive.” Jacob kept a tight grip on his revolver. “Put the gun down, Elmer, and let’s talk about this like civilized men.”
“This ain’t a civilized place,” Elmer replied. “Neither is he a civilized man. I don’t see how losing my weapon will help the matter.”
The other men had gathered by this time. Dr. Ripley rubbed his eyes. “I thought we were under attack. Are you men absolutely certain you wish to give me more work to do— under the circumstance?” He turned to Elmer. “Good grief, man. Have you actually lost your senses?”
“He accused me of stealing, and I ain’t lost my senses.” Ripley shook his head. “Well, at least have the decency to shoot off those three bad toes if you have to shoot him at all. That way maybe I won’t have to perform two surgeries.” Bristol frowned, looking momentarily confused, but Elmer merely steadied his aim.
“Just put the gun down and we can talk about what happened,” Jacob interjected.
“What happened,” Bristol said in a heated manner, “is that he thought we were all asleep and went to help himself to an extra portion of food. He’s a thief.”
“Am not. I was just hungry!”
“Enough!”
Everyone turned to find Captain Latimore struggling to make his way to the two men. He pushed past Jacob and Keith and went directly to Elmer. “Give me that weapon.”
“Uhh … Captain, I …”
“Hand it over now.” Latimore stared at him hard. “We will discuss this in my quarters, but we will not be armed to do so.”
To Jacob’s surprise, Elmer handed the pistol over. Latimore turned to Bristol. “Come with me now.” The younger man nodded, looking almost sheepish. He limped toward the captain.
Latimore headed back to his tent with the two men following behind. Jacob exchanged a glance with the captain as he passed. It was evident the episode had cost him every bit of strength. However, there was a look to his countenance that suggested he had regained the will not only to live but to take back his command.
After the men had disappeare
d, Jacob turned to Jayce. “It’s good to see Latimore take the matter in hand.”
“Yes. It’s obvious the men have needed him.”
Keith nodded. “He’s a good man. A fine captain. I was sorry to see him so grief stricken, but perhaps now things will be righted.” He walked away to join the other crew members.
Jayce turned to Jacob. “He’s right, you know. If Latimore is able to rally his men, we may see positive spirits restored.”
“I hope you’re right.” Jacob yawned. “I suppose for now we should head back to bed. We’ve had enough excitement for one night.” He watched Keith pass the rif le to Travis. “They’re good men—the demands of survival have been too much for them.”
“God will see them through. Just as He’ll see us through, Jacob. You know it’s true. Rest in it.”
Eight hours later, Jacob sat across from Latimore. The captain looked better than Jacob had seen him since the Regina went down.
“The problem is that the men do not have enough to keep themselves busy with. Do you have suggestions, Jacob?”
“I do, but you may be no happier to hear about it than they will be.”
Latimore eased back against a pile of furs. “You’ll have to excuse me; I still have great weakness.”
“Please feel free to rest. We can discuss this another time.”
“No. I think we should talk now. If Elmer were kept busy, I don’t think he would be so fearful about starvation. You see, as a boy he was quite impoverished. He went hungry most of the time. It’s haunted him into his adult years. He’s not really a bad person, but his fears are causing him to make bad choices.”
“I can understand that, but the men are angry about it. They feel he’s cheated them of food that should rightfully be shared. Starvation is something we all fear.”
“I am not making excuses for Warrick, merely pointing out the truth of the matter. I have confined the man to my presence when he’s not busy with required duties. Which brings me back to that situation. My men are used to hard work. They need to have a purpose.”
Whispers of Winter Page 6
